Good Morning and this is the day that the Lord has made so let us rejoice in it and be glad and I have a caller and go ahead please.

 

Wayne’s Mother From the Grave: Wayne Ball this is your mother and your sister Carol K is telling me that you are causing the family all kinds of trouble again with your blog and has asked me to talk you down off that soap box that you are on and why did that sound like the Gulf Breeze UMC and was that Herb Sadler’s opening expression of faith I just heard then?

 

Blow Fish: Yes Mam it was and I am saying Yes Mam so that Greenburg can’t give no shit and pardon my Redneck Riviervian French but I must stay in character so that I don’t have to begin this Red Neck Riviera state of mind over again and soon I will be in Panama City which is the Heart of the Redneck Riviera and it is actually dark there and the ATL which is more like downtown Atlanta out on the beach so that is where I am Bubba if you are looking for me and when you look there look for my boat at the Sunset Marina where I have co written a couple of island music songs with my buddy Sir Aubrey and I will play one of them called “Come As You Are Beach Bar” so look for me here Bubba so I can get you arrested for conspiracy to commit murder or attempted murder or possession of marijuana and then roll over on Randy Gibson who is rolling over on AJ Laird and who ain’t got no one to roll over on so he is gone and so are you Bubba so go home dumb asshole Bubba.

 

Well I have the Destin Log newspaper here this morning and lets see the headline reads “Missing Destin Businessman’s Car Found” it has apparently appeared at AJ Laird’s house yesterday evening and AJ Laird was questioned by Investigators and asked why the car was at his house and he responded by saying “We don’t know anything about that!” and so the mystery of the disappearance of the missing Destin Businessman continues and I wonder why the Bale Maker’s car appeared there and I guess it must have been magic and I will have a show on magic on the Big Show soon where my audience calls in and comments on what they believe to be magic and what they believe not to be magic like how a missing Bales Chaser’s car could appear and then disappear just like the Bale Chaser that has magically disappeared and The Song of the Day today is “It’s Got to be 5 O’clock Somewhere “ by Jimmy Buffet and Alan Jackson and so I am calling on Jimmy Buffet to explain what this song is all about so Ladies and Gentlemen the amazing Alan Jackson Ladies and Gentleman Alan Jackson.

 

Audience: Applause!

 

Alan Jackson: Thank you Blow Fish thank you everyone and I thought you had changed your mind and were playing the Jimmy Buffet version for a minute there where he asks Mac Mcanally to sing my part but Jimmy Buffet sings my part and just slaughters it like small bass fishing on the Chattahoochee and then Mac sings Jimmy’s part and I swear he can sing incredible and is a talented song writer but Jimmy must pay him more money if he sings worse than Jimmy or either they just tailgate with those fat parrot heads of his and gets so toe up that the can’t sing at all and then Jimmy Buffet records it Live and just slaughters the whole damn song like he is trying to beat the son of a bitch to death just like AJ Laird beating the Bale Chaser to death and then Randy Gibson helping him haul off the load in his boat up the river and not out in the Gulf but up the river because that’s where they are both going and I mean soon so watch your ass boys and that’s all I got unless you got a question about the song?

 

Blow Fish: Yes I do you make references to the Chattahoochee River and growing up on the Chattahoochee in your songs and we had a lake house on Lake Lanier which is on the Chattahoochee when I was a teenager and so I grew up and spent my summers there and learned to fish and ski and drink beer and so forth and so on and so why are you always referring to growing up on the Chattahoochee when you grew up in Macon GA which is on the Flint River and not the Hooch as we called it in Atlanta and there are Trout in the Chattahoochee and not little bass fishies like Greenburg slaughters and maybe he has slaughtered them all or just got slaughtered on drugs like the little Heathan that he was and so please explain.

 

Alan Jackson: You got me Blow Fish I have no experience on the Chattahoochee or Trout fishing but I do hear that Taylor Swift lives down the Beach from me and you in Destin FL and you and her are hooking up and getting married is that true.

 

Blow Fish: Well I am listening to Jennifer my Baby Girl from Sugarland on Pandora right now on my buddy Kenny Chesney’s channel and I know her and she knows me and I haven’t seen her in years but I just think she is the sweetest girl and I may just settle down and marry her because she just thinks I hang the moon and I like the way she sings and she is my baby girl and she is asking me to please send money and think I might just send her some money and a airline ticket as well and she will be on her way and we just might…

 

Taylor Swift: Blow Shit cut the bull shit she looks old as hell I saw her last week in Nashville and she looks like my mother and you have seen her before and I don’t think you and her make a cute couple.

 

Blow Fish: No offense sugar but your mother is as ugly as Carol K my sister and Bob Taylor is uglier than her so I have some ugly ass relatives too so I know how you feel.

 

Wayne’s Mother From the Grave: Wayne Ball your mother has told you to change that caller id to Heaven and who is this Taylor Swift girl criticizing her mother’s appearance and stop comparing your sister’s appearance to that demonic looking husband of hers because I mean he looks like a gargoyle or something like a little demon and she has lost her mind to marry such a person you know he stole $20K from me during Christmas dinner and I know you were on an extended vacation while gangsters were chasing you around Mexico and you had to come home just to meet him and then he stole my diamond earrings and my solitaire off my dead body at my funeral and I think the funeral director may have been in on it so stop saying your sister is as ugly as Taylor Swifts mother.

 

Blow Fish: Mother Taylor Swifts mother looks just like my sister Carol K and she has gotten fat from the drugs that Demonic Bob Taylor has her on and soon she will go insane and he will slap her ass in a straight jacket and I hope they have one big enough for her fat ass that the colored boys in Columbus GA are starring at and you know she calls it junk in her trunk and I just call it fat and you are the one that dropped her on her head when she was just a baby that made her so stupid so it’s your fault she married Bob Taylor the demonic demon that he is and I was on vacation in Mexico just pretending to be chased by the gangsters from the FL Keys so I could research what that was like and write about it so it was just research for my book that will become a movie and I was hanging out with a hot little 21 year old DEA agent from New Zealand that someone had the good taste to put on my Blow Fish ass and she and I were getting real close too and then this FBI witch from Mexico City and I do mean she was horrible and she was like the worst sorority date you ever had in college where you just wished you could just say shut the fuck up and get the hell out of the car and nothing like my girlfriend Journel who gives the best blow jobs and gave blow jobs to fraternity brothers in college and called it volunteer work and this FBI witch had to come along and screw up my whole open ended airline ticket vacation with that little DEA cutie and tell me I have to go home to see who is coming to Christmas Dinner at my mother’s house and when you get a message like that you have to pack it up and haul ass to the truck with the cover over the back of it they call a taxi way up in the jungle on the west coast of Mexico on the Pacific Ocean where the drug smugglers bring in the dope from South America and I was living in a Cabana on top of a bluff over looking the Pacific Ocean and had found a house with an outdoor kitchen and an outdoor shower and a dish network that I could rent for $350 a year and was just as happy as I could be but I had to pack it up and come home to meet a demonic demon named Bob Taylor and watch him steal my mother’s $20K while we ate Christmas Dinner and then he just had a few bites of food because he wasn’t there to eat and said I gotta go to work on Christmas Day and Carol K had to drive him home because I don’t think he even owned a car and maybe his boss man up in Atlanta gave him a $300 car in return for stealing the $20K when Bob gave the money to his boss man and that’s how it works in a gang where you have a big ole boss man named Brevard and that’s his name and he is going to jail Mother so don’t worry they are all set up and it started at that Christmas Dinner and they are all going down including my sister because apparently Carol K is member of the gang.

 

Taylor Swift: You didn’t answer my question don’t you think Jennifer from Sugarland looks like my mother and where the hell do you know her from and are there any women you don’t know?

 

Terri Lynn: No there are not he knows every woman in Atlanta and they hang all over him like he has some kind of woman attraction device in his paints and he is a womanizer and he can’t be trusted and I have had to fight them off him, they will come right up and hand him their phone number with me standing right there with my big ole plastic titties sticking out and my diamond ring he gave me as a valentine gift that that I wear as a wedding ring to scare them off but those little flat chested nymphomaniac girls that I guess are so desperate for a man cause they can’t get one….

 

Taylor Swift: So you think you are better than me because you have implants and I don’t and I am telling you one thing I’m not afraid of you bitch and don’t care about my cup size, it’s just the size of his dick that matters so you can take your implants and shove them up your Skank asshole and I still have not gotten an answer to my question Wayne Ball do you think Jennifer from Sugarland looks like my mother and not your sister that I have never met but my mother that I know and love so where did you meet her?

 

Blow Fish:  I met Jennifer right down the street from Bob and Carol K’s house or mansion as they call it in Columbus GA and it was at a recording studio that a friend of mine owns and he started with a bar and then turned it into a music hall for live rock and country music and Jennifer is from Harris County just north of Columbus and then my buddy bought out the restaurant downstairs and built a recording studio upstairs and then bought the loft  building behind that and he just keeps buying up more and more stuff and this is where Bob and Carol K hang out and they just think that this place is great and that’s where I met Jennifer from Sugarland and then I saw her in Atlanta at Piedmont Park when they played there and I guess they opened for someone and I saw her again there and we got to know each other and you know what she still looks great and I may put a pair of plastic titties on her and marry her because she is sweet as hell and I do not know why she isn’t married and why I don’t just invite her to one of my Blow Fish Shot Parties and then she can drink shots with me and we can get naked and have sex in public like everyone else does these days.

 

Taylor Swift: I wish you would cut the bull shit and tell me why you think she is sweeter than me and stop hurting my feelings.

 

Blow Fish: Well the thing is you like to be hurt and you like to hurt other people like when I asked you to spank Randy Fucking You Over Gibson and you were on that ass like a Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag on shit and you never let him up till he got up and ran away so you like inflicting pain and do not like being loved and Jennifer does like to be loved and cuddled and is just so sweet.

 

Jennifer from Sugarland: Wayne Ball you know I am married why the hells are you teasing her like this?

 

Blow Fish: Hey Baby Girl she likes being hurt and is acting like a little hurt child now and when I stop she will whip the hell out of me or whoever is around her and I am about to sic her on Randy Gibson, so Taylor sugar if you will walk out of your house on the beach and take a left and walk that way and Randy Fucking You Over Gibson will be running to you sugar.

 

Randy Gibson: Did you say my name?

 

Blow Fish: Yes I did and Taylor Swift is back in town and hornie as hell and walking down to your house to make a man out of you but doesn’t know where it is so just go out on the beach and turn to the right and that would be the hand you do not break peoples arms with dumb asshole and she will run into your arms because I am a good wing man and look out for my buddies who are like family and she is fired up and ready to have a go at you and you call me back and tell me how it went and I will find Bubba and send him back to you soon.

 

Randy Gibson: But how do you know Bubba is coming over to kill you for AJ and me?

 

Blow Fish: Because I am writing the blog silly so you can do this you are Randy Fucking Gibson so get her big boy.

 

Randy Fucking Gibson: I am Randy Fucking Gibson Argg!! I gotta go!

 

Blow Fish: So let’s see what is going on down at the Dock of the Hillbilly Fags Gang on the Bay on this my Restaurant Review of this day of the Big Show. Oshi what’s going on in the kitchen today any specials?

 

Oshi: No pecial today we closed for kitchen clean up so there no food today except dead chicken or small turkey and it is small turkey left over from Thanksgiving last year and it is dead and not eatible but not throwing away until Ms Jackie smell it cause we no llowed to throw anything like dead mullet or anything away and that is line from the Big Show so you no show Oshi’s naked ass photo on the internet now wight wane?

 

Blow Fish: No it’s Blow Fish and not wight wane and Oshi you have no ass to show on the internet and what’s a small turkey isn’t that a chicken and why does Jackie have to smell it if it is a left over turkey from last Thanksgiving and why aren’t you cooking for my Restaurant Review?  My fans are tuning into the Big Show with the Restaurant Review where I slam the food and run off the customers and put you out of business and why aren’t you cooking?

 

Oshi: You confuse Oshi with more than one question at a time so I try answer all questions at once and say Oshi not know why anything is the way it is except we clean kitchen once year and we close that day and then the other 364 day of year it dirty as hell but tomorrow it open and clean and then the next day, open and dirty as hell the rest of year and Oshi and everyone else not allowed to throw out food or we get arrested for steal food for taking it out and put in our car and if we get another job we get fired there for steal food and putting in Oshi car because Harbor Dock Gang has spies and snoop around and get us arrested and thrown in jail and we there whole year and they set Oshi up so I no remember other questions.

 

Blow Fish: All I asked was why isn’t a small turkey a chicken so go with that and please keep it short Shorty and go ahead and no other callers please I am in the middle of my Restaurant Review.

 

Oshi: Small turkey not chicken it just small turkey and not large turkey see we cook for locals that eat at the restaurant all year long and we cook for them for free at Thanksgiving and they come in and eat and then pay with donation that is more than the food is worth and don’t know why maybe cause it donation and that we keep, so we use small turkey because 20 small turkey sounds better than 10 large turkey and Ms Jackie say that large turkey too heavy and tough and cost too much small turkey cheap and the Food Bank and Habitat donate the turkey and we pay them back which Ms Jackie call the proceeds from the donations and we don’t have to give them as much if turkey cost less or worth less so Ms Jackie say only small turkey and I guess one got way and we just found it and it may still be eatable and if I throw in dumpster then I get arrested for stealing and go to jail for whole year and then I get out and try to live here and they have me arrested at my next job for the same thing and if it happen third time Judge make me habitual offender and I go to jail for life and I know that not legal but that happens here you go to jail for life for throwing rotten food in dumpster so Oshi no throw food in dumpster.

 

Blow Fish: Well I guess today’s Restaurant Review would be the Sushi special since it’s not cooked and it’s either a Dead Small Turkey or a Large Chicken so please hurry in and try that special and you decide which at Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang your Gay Restaurant Destination for Sushi or a Dead Small Turkey in Downtown Destin FL.

 

Gay Charles the Gay Hillbilly Fags Leader of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang: We are not closed because of a dead turkey or a small chicken in the kitchen its because I have sent everyone off to follow and capture you and Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson as he is trying to smuggle something into Destin in a semi truck to cut in on my business of smuggling something in on a boat.

 

Blow Fish: Now you are going to ruin my Big Show for tomorrow where Randy Gibson and his mystery co driver start their new career as an Over the Road Long Haul Semi Truck Driver and so you will just have to wait and see and that is what Kimmy told me after she had gotten me drunk one Friday at Pompano Joe’s and I said “How much is my tab?” and she said “You ain’t got a tab” and I said “Well how about you show me your big ole boobs right here in the bar and I will tip you twenty bucks?” and she said “You will have to wait and see! Do you want me to meet you at your boat?” over and over and over….

 

Gay Charles the Faggot Gay Leader of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang of Faggots: I don’t think I like my caller id are you still working on it or am I a work in progress like Herb Sadler states in his sermons and is he still alive?

 

Blow Fish: I don’t care I don’t have a problem with him it’s June Nixon I set up and until I get a public apology and my investment back I will keep mentioning them in my Restaurant Review as a parasite that makes you sick when you eat it at the Aqua Bar and Grill in Naples Fl where the special is 2 entrees for $40.95 with a free bottle of wine and the parasite is in the bottle of wine and that’s how they drugged me there they took lettuce or something like broccoli rabe and I can’t believe Gene’s henchman Gordon the narrator of my set up or at my set up at the Champagne Bar or his Shylark and drug dealer and head honcho and gay activist like Martin Levin and hang on Shorty I will get to you and your short shit, because he was gay as hell in prison and that’s where he learned to cook and is now the Head Chef at the Aqua Bar and Grill a two star Gay Restaurant Destination and that will come up at the top of the Google search because you just don’t have that many Gay Destinations in Naples other than Geno’s house and that’s because the Russians are coming over to discuss their money or the lack there of because Geno’s bookkeeper handles all the money and distributes all payments just like Jackie does for the Harbor Dock Gang and she isn’t busy because they don’t pay anyone anyway because Gay Charles is too fucking cheap to pay anyone just like Geno and Jackie is always out side smoking so drive my Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang in Downtown Destin and blow your horn at Jackie outside smoking and roll the window down and scream “Blow Fish said Hey” and then Ms Jackie will think what the fuck is that all about and then walk inside and ask what is that all about and then someone will say that’s a line from the Big Show or a movie and go ahead caller and please designate yourself a name.

 

Ms Jackie: That’s a line from a movie but I don’t know the name but its got something to do with a girl and a guy and a wedding and they decided to not get married and why are people riding by screaming “Blow Fish said Hey” and blowing their horns?

 

Blow Fish: Wrong you didn’t get any part of it right you screwed it up completely and I do not know why you get paid to just stand out side and smoke cigarettes, you and Greenburg, and it was a movie line but you didn’t get the title right at all but the subject is correct and no one wants to see your Chinese ass on the internet anyway and I wouldn’t touch that photo with Greenburg’s ten foot little Bass fishie slaughtering pole and you know you gave me a Thousand or more like Ten Thousand Dollars worth of free food and drink and all I asked you to do was take my One Hundred Dollar donation I made at a silent auction and change it from 2 entrees to 4 lunches because I eat sushi at night instead of entrees and lunches at noon and you are so stupid you changed it from 2 entrees to 2 lunches and you though I was in there after you or Big Red or Samantha or that other Hot Blond you hired to get me to come in there as bait and had her meet me twice at Camille’s and then hired her and then paid her so I would come in and then she saw that she was going to get fired if I actually even tried to talk to her so I’m not showing a fat ass chink asshole on the Big Show so your ass is off the line but you are still on the hook for wasting over Ten Thousand Dollars of the Harbor Dock Gangs loot and I think Charles just read that and you are in trouble.

 

Gay Charles the Gay Owner of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang in Destin your Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin FL: That’s funny that you think we are downtown and not on the harbor.

 

Blow Fish: It’s not that funny because when tourist Google Sushi Restaurant Destin Harbor Walk they get the Jackacuda Bar and Grill for Sushi which I recommend them for Sushi in Downtown Destin in this my Restaurant Review because they do not poison their customers and aren’t a Gang of Hillbilly Fags that all dress alike in ball caps and restaurant T shirts and blue jeans and why do you Gay people always have to have the same hair cuts and wear the same clothes and ball caps and dress like Hillbilly Fags you cheap Gay asshole?

 

Gay Charles the Gay Owner of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang in Destin your Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin FL: Then why didn’t you answer my question about Herb Sadler?

 

Blow Fish: He is still alive and still listed as a pastor on the list of ministers filed with the area conference of the United Methodist Church and is still getting a pay check but this has nothing to do with him why the hell are you bothering me about him? I am trying to finish my Restaurant Review and the closing of your restaurant due to death and discovery of dead animals in the kitchen of your Gay Destination Restaurant for Sushi in Downtown Destin FL. You didn’t answer my question, so why do you Gay Faggots all dress the same and it’s because you are all in a gang and those are your Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang colors.

 

Gay Charles Gay Leader of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang: Herb Sadler has a paper and with that paper we can have you committed for life in a mental facility for the insane and so if we have any more trouble from you Blow Fish I am going to Gulf Breeze UMC and getting a copy of that paper and shutting you down and putting you away for life. This is your one and only and the last warning I am giving you on that subject and stay the hell out of my kitchen and my restaurant and I know the arresting officer gave you a trespass warning like they always do and I don’t know how you could remember that after being drugged twice by us so how did you remember that?

 

Blow Fish: I can’t even remember the name of the Vice President Gay Charles so how could I remember a police man giving me a trespass warning when you drugged me with a knock out drug instead of Ruffie which is what bars usually give their victims so that the person paying you to drug them can have sex with your drugged victim and then they just say you were so drunk you couldn’t say no or walk away or even move because that’s what Ruffie does to you and I have had some dumbass female bartenders give me that so they could carry my drugged ass home I guess and get on top and screw me which I guess would be rape and I have been drugged so many times I can feel that warm and fussy feeling coming on and I just call my driver or a friend or anyone but the person that gave it to me and say get me the hell out of here and take me home and then you call the police and they send an ambulance over to your house to take a blood sample and then you take that sample to the prosecuting attorney and he says we don’t want to get involved in prosecuting Harbor Docks and Gay Charles and then you go to a higher court which is the FBI and from now on the FBI is going to start enforcing the law when the local law enforcement doesn’t take charge of their own territory and they are going to put an end to all this bullshit you have been putting people through where you have a problem with them and you don’t say please do not come back because that’s just too proactive for you because you are a dumbass bubba yourself and drug them and call the police and your employees are trained to call the police and so they just drug your customers and call the police when they have a problem with anyone just like you taught them so your policy is that if you have a problem with someone you drug them with a knock out drug and then keep them there in the restaurant with a free drink or another free drink until the drug takes effect and then you let them drive when you have given them a drug that will make them go to sleep and then run into a minivan full of children or a school bus or a wall or whatever and then they die and the other people in the other car die and that’s what you are guilty of and a few other crimes so I am telling you for one time and one time only you can take that piece of paper you have from Herb Sadler and roll it up and shove it where the sun don’t shine and then blow it out your asshole because that’s what you are and you are going down so pack a bag call your Gay Lover and say Honey I ain’t coming home I am going to a penitentiary and getting a new Gay Lover where you will be popular as hell so that was my one and only warning and you will stay on the blog on the Big Show just like Randy Gibson because I need colorful Gay Faggot characters like yourself so that people will read this after you are arrested and in jail and it’s a book and then a movie and then another book that you will be reading in jail so that’s all I got for you so go back to being the Gay Faggot Leader that you are with the Big Ole Gay Title you and Dan the Big Ole Fag love so much and I have another caller and go ahead and it’s that crazy psycho girl from Cuvee that I met on Match.com go ahead caller and please tell who you are please.

 

Ms Cuvee: Blow Fish you son of a bitch I am going to blow you fucking brains out all over your windshield and I’m just kidding you I bet you thought it was Geno, it’s Cuvee the Chef at Cuvee Bistro and I heard you got my daughter pregnant and just wanted to call in and say congratulations and when is the wedding and I know she is excited as hell and we all are here at the Cuvee Bistro to finally get some new blood in here and hear the sound of little foot steps running around in here and maybe it will be a daughter and I can have sex with that little girl too so when are we going to see you in here again so I can finish you off?

 

Blow Fish: I see where she gets her insanity from and I am not falling into that trap until I am ready and have to finish off Randy Fucking Yourself Over Gibson first so go ahead Pirate Randy.

 

Randy Gibson: Now Bubba I mean Blow Fish I know you don’t like being called a bubba so Mo Fo did you just call me a faggot or am I hearing things because I heard something about me being in the same boat as Gay Charles and I just want to clarify that and make sure we are on the same page and you know you are like family brother and if I insulted you when you drank my last sip of wine or when you got sand on my Beach House floor then I am sorry and lets just try to get back to being friends and just let by gone be by gone and start over brother so lets just be best friends again and hold on I have a call hang on…

 

Bubba I can’t talk right now I have Blow Fish on the other line and he is waiting so I gotta go and I will call you back so hang on. Well call him and ask him where he is. Then call him and ask him where you are he can probably find you with the GPS on your phone. Argg!! Gotta Go!

 

Bubba: Blow Fish Randy Gibson asked me to call you and ask you where you are and where am I too because I think I am lost so where are you and where am I and I am so confused and I will just sit down and smoke this joint that Mr. Gibson gave me from that big ole bag of dope he keeps at the Beach House and try and figure this out and will call you back.

 

Randy Gibson: AJ I got it covered and I paid Bubba to go to where ever Blow Fish is and take the mother fucker out and I have given him a joint and that’s all so far and that’s all you owe me so far is half a joint to get rid of this trouble maker Blow Fish asshole.

 

AJ Laird: That son of a bitch has stolen my girlfriend Lisa Fucking Gaddis and she has my new furniture at her furniture store and I called her and asked her for it and she got pissed off and said it’s here so I got to go pick it up and they won’t even deliver she was so mad and said he fucked her so hard that she couldn’t walk for a week and gave her a yeast infection and we all know that is just a sore pussy that ain’t been fucked lately just like Fayla’s pussy over in Gulf Breeze FL and so get rid of him and I want my baby back and so get it finished and Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson that Bale Chaser’s car has showed back up at my house in the middle of the night so come get it and get rid of it for good this time and I mean it and I am going to have me a drink of Crown from my Handle of Crown and try and calm down.

 

Randy Gibson: That son of a bitch Blow Fish must have moved the Bale Chase’s car back over there so I will pick it up again and get rid of it for good this time where he can’t find it so I think I will take it to the county landfill like Geno does in Naples and so I gotta go!.

 

AJ Laird: Hang on how much is that going to cost me you are trying to break the bank on this little project I have trusted you with why don’t you just park it in a bank parking lot at the end of the day and then my towing service will come by and get it and we will depose of it officially with no further questions asked.

 

Randy Gibson: How does that work I mean why would you tow a car and dispose of it?

 

AJ Laird: Well when we started the fireworks on Thursday night on the Destin Harbor we had such a parking problem that we had to start towing cars and so we started our own tow service and we just tow any car not in my parking lot and seize it and park it in a guarded yard and it’s really like having a license to steal as we call it in the tow business and then if the owner doesn’t pay us we charge the city to dispose of it and they either have an auction or we just haul them to the dump or the scrap yard and the city foots the bill and I make millions with all the alcohol sales and drugs sold and prostitutes and the food sales and the tow service with storage fees and you know how all that works and yes you get a cut on the cocaine sales so that’s how all that works and then you get your cut so take care of the Bale Chaser’s car at my house quick and I do mean right now Randy Gibson now get on it and I can get back to this lovely Crown drink I have here with the ice cubes in it.

 

Blow Fish: AJ try making your drink with those large ice cubes called rocks it is excellent you only need one or two in the glass depending on the size of the glass and then squeeze a lime wedge in the Crown and throw the lime away so it doesn’t make the drink look nasty and that’s how I drink my Handle of Crown on the Rocks and I recommend that highly here on this my Restaurant Review with my cocktail tip for the day!

 

AJ Laird: How the hell did you get on this private phone line boy?

 

Blow Fish: Well you will just have to read back because I am not going to repeat myself because I don’t have time to answer your questions but you are in the same boat as Randy Gibson so sit there and drink your Crown from your Handle of Crown in than big ole plastic tumbler you fucking drunk that can’t even fuck a woman anymore you drunk ass hole and you have ruined Lisa Fucking Gaddis by not fucking her good boy, the poor thing, because she can’t handle a real man anymore and will probably just turn gay and let her girl friends just eat her pussy because I know see loves that and likes it rough as hell so ask her and I know you know that so goodbye and fare well and see you later in the slammer and maybe you and Randy Gibson can be bunk mates but he is going somewhere different because you killed the bale maker and he only helped so he goes to Leavenworth and you are going to hell in a hand basket asshole because you committed murder one and getting the fucking chair so if you send anyone at me or my family they will go down too so I will be catching Bubba and sending him to jail so take care and bye and you two characters can stay on the Big Show and chase Blow Fish around trying to blow his Blow Fish brains out and chase me around like 2 Hillbilly Rednecks in a shackled up 4 x 4 with your shotguns blazing out the windows like Big and Rich riding into town causing all kinds of trouble and raising hell and buying a round of Crown and all that country shit and so until later you take care asshole.

 

Blow Fish: Where are you Bubba? I just talked to Randy and AJ and they said the deal is off and they want to buy you lunch at Harbor Docks and they are having one of your favorite meals it’s a small turkey and I know you love that so call Oshi and she will prepare it anyway you want and tell her to put it on Randy Gibson tab.

 

Bubba: Ok I will drop what I was doing which is drinking a beer and I don’t like to eat while I am working or drinking and that would be eating while I drink because I might get sleepy and don’t want to miss Happy Hour at Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar but I will eat free food at the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang and I am on my way and I tell you a small turkey is a wonderful play thing too and I may just cavity fuck it while I am eating the turkey wings and that is a good meal so I am on my way and thanks Mr. Ball for the free meal.

 

Randy Gibson: I am wondering if you have heard from Bubba he said he was looking for you and we haven’t heard from him? You haven’t had him arrested have you? You sound mad.

 

Blow Fish: I don’t get mad Randy Gibson you know that I am just blogging and then coming back around to clean up my mess so get ready for that. Bubba is going to eat lunch and then we are all meeting at Pompano Joe’s at Happy Hour for the Sunset Celebration at 3 pm. How did you enjoy Taylor Swift?

 

Randy Gibson: She beat the holy shit out of me and called me a dirty little pirate and had me having orgasms without her even touching me except for the whip she was using and I loved it and she sure is a sweet little thing with that whip and had me down on the beach with my pants down and spanking the devil out of me but she is a little old for me you know I like the young ones.

 

Blow Fish: Well let’s meet at Pompano Joe’s at 3 pm and bring AJ if he is sober enough to walk down the beach with you.

 

Randy Gibson: He is working on something and can’t break away so you are on your on Blow Fish we don’t want no more trouble from you and stop telling me what to do. I have always been self employed and have a problem with authority.

 

Blow Fish: OK Randy Fucking You Over Gibson you have a good evening tonite and I will check with you tomorrow for your first day on your new job as an Over the Road Long Haul Semi Truck Driver and AJ too. Soon Randy will have a DOC Boss Man saying “Shut the fuck up Gibson and stay in your bunk it’s lock down” and we will be looking at Randy Fucking You Over Gibson’s personality profile and find out why he is who he is as they say in the Physiological Department and he will not like that either and AJ will be calling him up saying “We got to do something about that Blow Fish Randy to shut him up!”

 

Taylor Swift: Blow Fish you never gave me a straight answer whether you think Jennifer from Sugarland looks as old as my Mama.

 

Blow Fish: You didn’t answer my question either so why would I answer you question because my question is bigger than your question.

 

Taylor Swift: Do you mean all that talk about going to Mexico on an open ended airline ticket well I have my own private jet so where ever you want to go we can just climb on-board and take off and go anywhere we want and I know your next question and that’s why would I live in Destin if I can go anywhere I want to go and it’s because I like the airport here and it’s close proximity to the beach so I can fly in and out of here quick so lets go Blow Fish. I am ready and I can be at the plane in an hour so you come over and ride with me to the airport.

 

Blow Fish: Well hang on Sugar I got Randy Pissing In His Pants Gibson here waiting for him and AJ Laird to be arrested for murder and Randy’s first day at work tomorrow and the big announcement about the Hillbilly Fags Gang Craft Beer Brewery and the Cabana Bar party and then I got to set up Cuvee and his whore daughter and then…

 

Taylor Swift: Then why did you ask me to go and when are you playing our song on your show and have you picked one and don’t tell me it’s the Breakup Song so which song are you playing as we fly off somewhere that we don’t get chased around by gangsters all day and you can stop all that Blow Fish bull shit for a day and we can just sit on the beach like a normal couple?

 

Blow Fish: Boy you are long winded today and what’s the hurry?

 

Taylor Swift: You know I told you to use protection and you think you are bullet proof and don’t need no protection as you say and now I am pregnant and I do not want to hear any bullshit I just want your honest feelings about this situation please Honey.

 

Blow Fish: Well you know Sugar I write the Big Show all day and I have to do the Restaurant Review and research the restaurants first and then the Bars at night and get over served by buying rounds of shots and let the female bartenders hit on me and fight over me with the waitresses or servers and getting myself drugged and then I have to recover from that each morning and getting myself arrested and then I have to research the new bars and restaurants to set them up and then move the blog from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar and so I am working myself to death and the work day passes like molasses and I haven’t been in my pool in a week so why don’t we just go and I will stop blogging for awhile so let me get caught up and we will take off so give me a day or two and we are out of here and I will shut down the Big Show and then come back and say that the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang caught me and tortured me for a week and then I escaped and then I will bull shit about that for a few days to get even with them so let me catch up at work and we will take off and go somewhere just the two of us with no internet or locals following us around just begging to be on the Big Show and me to have sex with their 21 year old daughters like all the local parents in Destin do so give me some time Sugar and I can’t wait to see our little baby and we will not be taking our child into the Cuvee Bistro and I think there should be a law against pedophiles running a restaurant so I will be looking into that shortly Sugar. So my answer is excited!

 

Taylor Swift: Well hurry up because I am already showing and you were sweet not to mention it and no more bull shit about Jennifer with Sugarland and stop calling her your Baby Girl because I maybe having just that and we are not naming her Jennifer or Little Blow Fish Jr. and who the hell names their children the same name as their name?

 

Blow Fish: Well Sugar that would be my friends in Atlanta the Sheppard family and they are all Clyde Sheppard and I had an attorney from Atlanta come sailing on my sailing yacht and Bubba said he has a perdy mouth because he is a Hillbilly Fag and his lovely sexy wife who tried to have sex with me when he was playing golf or either they are both swingers or she is so we were making out at the Tiki Bar and she wanted to go home with me and have sex and I had a dinner party planned and I guess I should have picked up 2 more steaks and her sister was going to screw Dirty Joe so she has poor taste in men and is fat and the woman I had was skinny like you Sugar with big ole plastic titties and was just beautiful but I turned her down and her husband works for the Sheppard Family and they didn’t know that all the men in the family for generations have been named Clyde Sheppard and it is just confusing as hell cause you never know who you are talking about and I know who you are boy that I am talking about so I am warning you now I am coming to Atlanta and then Columbus GA and we are cousins and everyone in the whole damn town that’s anyone is my cousin so cousin you better stop it and you know what you are doing or you will be in jail and I do mean you T Ray!

 

Blow Fish: Where are you Bubba it’s Happy Hour at Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar and it’s 5 o’clock some where?

 

Bubba: I am at the Tiki Bar at Pompano Joe’s and Pete is pouring me a Fireball on the house because I am a local and a regular and you know we pay the bills around here when the tourist leave with our freeloading and there is my friend the Hooker You Sent to Jail and she is out of jail and back in town and about to give me a freebee and Pete make mine a Hurricane before I go insane!

 

Blow Fish: Would you ask her if she has changed her sheets this year? She has the nastiest bed I have ever seen and she will lift your wallet in the middle of the night and I had to stay up all night to catch her trying to rob me so I could set her up as a thief as well as a prostitute and had her and her gang all rounded up just like Randy Gibson and AJ Laird which you will hear about tomorrow morning when Randy Fucking You Over Gibson gets a job as a Long Haul Over the Road Semi Truck Driver so check back in for that. So go ahead and mention my Blow Fish bull shit name to her Bubba.

 

Bubba: Hey baby have you changed your sheets this year Mr. Ball wants to know I mean Blow Fish?

 

Blow Fish: What did she say Bubba?

 

Bubba: She walked away and shot me a bird and is going home I guess and why do you run off all the good looking prostitutes that are giving me freebees?

 

Blow Fish: She is not that good looking you must have your beer goggles on she’s just a hooker with big ole plastic titties and they are criminals Bubba we have had this discussion before and I know they are your friends and the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang are your friends and the Chef Cuvee is your friend and AJ Laird and Randy Fucking You Over Gibson are all your local heroes and you inform on me to them and so you are set up too and you do it for free drinks and you sell coke and pot for them and steal from me and you are dumb as hell and so I think I have covered everything haven’t I?

 

Bubba: You haven’t told me where you are so I can help you load up the blog and bring it back to Destin so we can do your big Shot Party at the Cabana.

 

Blow Fish: Fuck it, you are all a bunch of worthless drunks and I am going to move on to Panama City which is where I am anyway and then finish up there and move on but first I have to finish with Randy Fucking You Over Gibson and AJ Laird and the Harbor Dock Gay Hillbilly Gang and then you Bubba so stay right there I am on my way and tell Petie that I want a free shot when I get there so hang on Bubba I am on my way to the Happy Hour at the Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar and have I missed the sunset?

 

Bubba: No we are just getting started drinking here and have hours before the height of our day which is the setting of the sun.

 

Petie the Bartender at Pompano Joe’s: What’s this about me describing the color of women’s assholes like I am an expert on the color of the waitresses assholes at Pompano Joe’s because I am a married man and my wife has me on a short leash as it is and if I get in anymore trouble she will be getting a divorce and I will be sleeping in my truck or maybe at Krissa’s house or maybe Karen Brook’s house and I think that sounds good or with both of them at the same time because you know they swing both ways and you call that a Lesbo and it really isn’t and then I can just fuck all the woman in their assholes and watch it as it changes from pink to brown and then I will have to find a new younger waitress with a little pink asshole and start over with her and that would be the young ones and not Karen or Krissa and they both take it in the asshole and love it.

 

Bubba: They do love it only Krissa’s pussy is so big I have to strap a 2×4 to my ass to keep from falling in that big ole hole she calls her pussy and I mean huge and why is that and maybe it’s that big ole nigger that was fucking her and has ruined her pussy for a normal man’s dick and now she can’t get a man to stay with her anymore because her pussy is as big as the Grand Canyon.

 

Petie: I will fuck you up Blow Fish if you call me Petie again so change my name back or I will bust out your head lights and call the police and get you arrested when you leave the bar with a DUI or I will just get the Troll to do it for me in exchange for a free beer and I will just say that you backed into a car and say it was a hit and run and buy the bar a round of shots or just give them free drinks to say they saw it too and that’s how we do things here at Pompano Joes because the police watch the parking lot and all I have to do is throw a snow ball of ice at you as you leave and that’s the sign they look for and follow you to your car and arrest you for DUI before you get behind the wheel so you better change my name now or I will be throwing a snow ball at you when you leave the Tiki Bar and you will be going to jail.

 

Blow Fish: Ok Petie I will stop calling you Petie if it pisses you off so much and why do you get so mad when I call you that?

 

Petie: OK Blow Fish you son of a bitch I am going to cut you open and scoop out your organs and sell them on the internet to the highest bidder and then throw your ass off the fishing pier and watch the sharks eat you asshole which is worthless or I would sell that too.

 

Blow Fish: Wow you sound just like Gene Luciano but he doesn’t have the technology to change a caller id or does he?

 

Gene Luciano: I do now and I bet I scared the blow shit out of you didn’t I with my quote from that movie you watched the other night called Search Party about the guy that got drugged at a casino bar and then the girl that drugged him and her boyfriend took their clothes off so they didn’t get his DNA on them and were about to cut him open and scoop out his organs and put them on ice and fly out of town to sell them and the Search Party saved him.

 

Blow Fish: I did see that and how are you spying on me now Geno?

 

Gene Luciano: Well I bought the Intel on the internet. You can buy anything on the internet these days. Where someone lives, their cell phone number, their arrest records and you have a big one and also where they are shopping and washing their car and what movie they rented at Red Box and which Red Box you picked it up at and where you returned it.

 

Blow Fish: So when are we going to get our privacy back the way we were told that our personal information on the internet would stay private? When we shut down all those websites that entice you to give your credit card number so they can steal that information too and sell it as well and soon we will see a credit card website where you can buy Randy Fucking You Over Gibson’s credit card info and then rip him off because it seems like its legal to sell people’s police records and home address and cell phone number so that criminals like Gene Luciano can track you down and Geno has a cheap ass cell phone because he believes the cops can’t track him with a cheap ass cell phone and he is right so just keep on buying those cheap ass phones dumb asshole so no one knows where you are like at Campiello’s every night of the week asshole.

 

Gene Luciano: Sounds like someone is grumpy this afternoon did that movie scare you about getting married and then your bride runs out of the church and goes on the honeymoon in Mexico by herself and why are you fucking around with Connie you know you can’t get married you are a wanted man by me and can’t stay in one place long enough to settle down can you?

 

Blow Fish: OK Geno I will bite why can’t I get married again if you are in jail?

 

Gene Luciano: Because I will never be in jail because I know where to buy the right Intel and it tells me you are going to jail in Okaloosa County and never coming out because you are pissing off all the cops up there and they will beat you to death as soon as you are arrested and then thrown in the cell and then they will kill you in your fucking sleep for fucking with them on the internet.

 

Blow Fish: Not unless you get to me first Geno.

 

Gene Luciano: That’s right Blow Fish you son of a bitch so you leave my operations in Naples and Boca Raton and Miami and Sarasota alone or I will set you up again and kill you myself this time and I didn’t know about Boca Raton. What am I doing there?

 

Blow Fish: Your son has branched out on his own there with his own prostitution ring and has sent some of your whores over to work there that you can’t find and you have contracts out on them for not showing up for work so why don’t you just tell him to give you back your prostitution ring in Boca Raton and call it even or either he will continue fucking you over and so will I Geno so stop threatening me with a marriage proposal. That’s some scary shit. You know I am afraid to get married again so back off Geno or I will set you and Julie up again in Naples so look for that soon because I am coming back around with the TV cameras and the newspaper reporters one more time to clean up the mess I made the last time I was there only this time you are the one that will look bad so get ready.

I am at the Tiki Bar at Pompano Joe’s and they have started with out me and they all have had at least 10 – 20 free beers and as many Fireball Shot and so lets watch the festivities as I call them as they are pretending to watch the sunset but they are drinking and being over served for free by that asshole Petie and they are drugging and whoring around and just being a bunch of Redneck Bubbas here on the Redneck Rivera in the Sleepy Little Town of Miramar Beach near Destin Fl and it is one in the same because this is the Tiki Bar where the real locals hang out for fun and relaxation as they act like the Heathans that they are living on an Island. Doctor Feel Good what’s up man?

 

Doctor Feel Good: Blow Fish how are you bubba? Anyone want a bump I have some pharmaceutical cocaine?

 

Bubba: Well hell yea I do Doc and if you want to leave some laying around I will just pick it up take it with me when I leave.

 

Randy Gibson: I have plenty of the real thang at the Beach House and don’t trust your source Doc.

 

Doctor Feel Good: Why I just mixed it up myself and its still fresh and good till in the morning.

 

Randy Gibson: Well I am going to pass that’s not pure cocaine that’s a chemical that is similar to cocaine. I have pure coke at home.

 

Drunk Joe: Then go get some Randy.

 

Randy Gibson: Argg!! I gotta go!

 

Drunk Joe: Hey Pete can we get another round of Fireball for the locals?

 

Petie: Yea and I will do one too and if I don’t watch out I will be too drunk to drive home from work.

 

Bubba: Hey Stacy with an I it’s 2 in the pink and 1 in the brown!

 

Stacy with an I: No Bubba it is not. We are just friends and you can not talk to be like that anymore I just had sex with you because my Mama thought you would marry me if I gave you some pussy and I always do what my Mama tells me to do and she is on the phone so hang on Bubba and don’t hold your hand up in the air with the 2 fingers up and the little finger up like it’s up my asshole so be quiet.

Hello Mama what do you want I am trying to finish up work so I can go home and work some more so what do you want Mama?

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: Stacy with an I what is all that talk and music I hear in the background are you with that nice boy Bubba that I told you to marry?

 

Stacy with an I: Mama I have stopped by Pompano Joe’s on my way home to see the sunset and take a photo of it and I will send it to you later so what do you want mama? I am busy!

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: Now don’t you get smart with me you little bitch your Mama will spank your big ole butt with the junk in the trunk and so why haven’t you married Bubba yet?

 

Stacy with an I: Mama I don’t think Bubba is the marrying type but I will try again if you insist.

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: I do and you tell me how it goes and now you get in there and give that boy some pussy so he will marry you and I mean now Stacy with an I.

 

Stacy with an I: Ok Mama I will! Bubba get over here and give me 1 in the pick and 1 in the brown and then when it gets wet stick another in the pink and don’t try to shove 2 in the pink and 1 in the brown until it is wet and spit on your fingers before you get started and my Mama told me to do this so you better marry me afterwards because I am not doing this again and I will just call this a slip and not sex so go ahead and get started and lets get it over with you jerk.

 

Bubba: I will and there it is 2 in the pink and 1 in the brown or is it 1 in the pink and 2 in the brown?

 

Stacy with an I and a Fist Up Her Asshole: Bubba that feels like 1 in the pink and 3 in the brown and you didn’t spit on your fingers first you know nothing about how to treat a lady and I should just go have sex with Blow Fish he knows how to make a woman scream and it’s not from pain like what you are doing so I have been told so go ahead and have your way with me and get it over with so my Mama will get off my back and stop talking about us getting married.

 

Bubba: Shut up woman I am trying to concentrate on having sex with you and the thought of you big ole fat Mama ain’t helping.

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: I am still here and I can hear you Bubba so you just get you fist out of my daughter’s asshole and leave her alone if you are going to disrespect her mother like that young man or young Bubba.

 

Stacy with an I with a Fist Up Her Ass: Mama he ain’t that young and I keep telling you that and he sleeps with every nasty whore he can find and he maybe Gay as hell for all I know, he dresses like a woman and wears pedal pushers and shirts with the sleeves cutoff and a straw hat with a silk lay around the brim and looks like a faggot.

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: Bubba I said stop fist fucking my daughter in the asshole and leave her alone and Stacy with an I you go wash your asshole and your hands before you get pink eye again and your Mama has to nurse you back to health.

 

Bubba: I have started and I can’t stop so you are wasting your time just like the cop that told me to stop smoking crack and I said fuck you and he threw my redneck dumb asshole in jail for a year.

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: Bubba I am warning you I will call Jo Jo up and he will beat you to hell if you don’t leave her alone and you know he will if you don’t leave her alone.

 

Stacy with an I and a Whole Fist Up Her Asshole: Mama you are not helping now he has nar a finger in the pink and 5 in the brown and I am in pain Mama!

 

Bubba: Well she asked me to stop so I did pull 1 out of the pink and slipped it into the brown with a thumb and now I am fist fucking you in the asshole just like she asked me to.

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: Bubba I am calling Jo Jo and he will stop you from fucking her in the asshole with your fist and beat the living shit out of you and this is your last warning.

 

Bubba: Well that doesn’t seem fair how will I defend myself with my fist up her asshole?

 

Stacy with an I and a Whole Fist Up Her Asshole: Bubba here he comes and he looks pissed off.

 

Dirty Joe: Stacy with an I your Mama just called me and said you were in pain and need me to rescue you but I didn’t know you and Bubba were having sex so please excuse me and I will just have a free shot of fireball sitting right here on the bar. I don’t know who left it here but I will take that leftover shot and a beer please Pete and make it something different this time like a Bud Lite and give me a daiquiri for my whore drug addict daughter please and she will trade you some of her pussy for drugs if you got any.

 

Stacy with an I and a Whole Fist Up Her Asshole: Bubba I am calling Blow Fish and telling him to come and get me.

 

Bubba: I already talked to him and he is on his way and he owes me for a day’s wage and a 12 pack a beer and a tank of gasoline and it was gas and not diesel and I was working with him yester dee and then got laid off before we even got started and that is the story of my life and can’t keep a job and I don’t know why? I think I’ll have a beer and ponder that question.

 

Stacy with an I and a Whole Fist Up Her Asshole: Could it be cause you take your fist and shove it up everyone’s ass and when they ask you to remove it you just add a thumb too?

 

Bubba: I don’t believe I have fist fucked Mr. Ball but he is fist fucking me right now and I don’t know why and he should be here by now to settle up with me.

 

Stacy with an I and a Whole Fist Up Her Asshole: Bubba he’s getting even with you right now you dumb asshole!

 

Dirty Joe: Hey baby the girls call me Jo Jo and I have the cleanest balls in town because I dive for golf balls in lakes and ponds on golf courses and then wash the used golf balls and sell them by the thousands and I sold about a million last year.

 

Tracy with 2 I’s: Well Jo Jo let me just get down on my knees right here at the Tiki Bar and unzip your pants right here in public and pull your balls out and see how clean they are. Is Blow Fish on his way because I want to know when he is going to marry me so I don’t have to work anymore and can live with him and rent my house to my bisexual lover roommates that are brothers that he would call Faggots?

 

Stacy with an I and a Whole Fist Up Her Asshole: He is on the way and I wish I was with him he never shoves anything up my asshole.

 

Tracy with 2 I’s: Well I wish he would shove something up my asshole and leave it there and me in his bed and I just can’t get him to marry me and I see why they call you Dirty Joe this is the dirtiest dick I have ever seen.

 

Dirty Joe: Now Tracy with 2 I’s and my balls in your mouth right here in public and those balls they are dirty as hell because I am on Plenty of Fish and I get an email and then I screw that whore and then I get another email and I go screw that whore without taking a shower and I am not picky who I put my dick in and my dick is dirty as hell from going from one fat whore to the next and I got another tourist whore in my bed right now I just screwed and have to go screw her again in a minute so my dick is nasty as hell and stinks but go ahead and put it in your mouth and there you go darling that feels wonderful and Pete I need a double shot of Smirnoff to chug with another Bud Lite chaser please sir while I am getting this blow job.

 

Tracy with 2 I’s: Your dick does taste like some nasty pussy but what the hell I have sucked off every dick in town out in public because I love to have sex in public and I am a Heathanistic woman and now you are a Heathanistic man Dirty Joe and I like it as nasty as I can get it and that is the nastiest dick I have ever sucked and I love it as nasty as I can get it so I will just suck every dick here at the Tiki Bar tonight because I only like to have sex in public.

 

Dirty Joe: I thought I was just a Dirty Joe but if you say so I am Heathanistic too baby then suck that nasty dick bitch and stop talking with dick in your mouth.

 

Karen’s Beaver: Wow you guys are having sex right here at the Tiki Bar in public with the tourist walking into the restaurant and Blow Fish was finger fucking me in the Cabana Bar and that asshole the Shriek the bartender bouncer that calls himself the bar manager made him stop and it was just starting to feel good and Shriek said you can’t have sex in the Cabana Bar but we do it all the time and I wish Blow Fish was here to finger fuck me now and then eat by big ole beaver I call a pussy until I scream out “Petie”.

 

Petie: Who the hell just called me Petie I will fuck you up!

 

Karen’s Beaver: It was just me Petie and you know I always scream your name when you are fucking me so give me a free shot of something and somebody lick my beaver I am hornie as hell and there it is Bubba lick that beaver Bubba and oh that feels good and I will be screaming out Petie again in just a minute because I cum every few minutes and where’s that shot Petie?

 

Petie: Who the hell is calling me Petie I don’t like that and here is your shot Karen Brook’s Beaver and if you don’t know what Beaver looks like then all you gotta do is give Karen Brooks a fee shot and she will be taking off her clothes and showing you her beaver and turning over and sticking her ass in the air and showing me that ass with the black asshole just like a beaver has and so she has a beaver for a pussy and a black asshole too and if you want to hear about your pussy just tune in for Eat My Key Lime Pie Day and if you want to hear me describe your asshole tune in for Mud On the Tires Day and hang on I have a call.

Yes dear no I am not on the internet I am at work and I am covered up with customers right now and yes I will come straight home from work and will not be going to that Cabana Bar because I know you will file for divorce because you have warned me for the last time so I will be home directly after work Dear yes I understand and have to get back to pouring free shots and keeping an eye on my customers and make sure that Blow Fish isn’t starting any of his Blow Shit bull shit like calling me Petie and then I will have to have his Blow Fish ass thrown in the slammer and there he is I got to throw a snow ball at him to alert the Po Po that he is here and get the Troll to bust out a head light so he is pulled over by the Po Po that I jusy alerted so I gotta go Dear and I will see you the minute I get off work. Yes Dear! Bye Dear! Yes Dear! I love you too Dear and goodbye! Yes Dear!

 

Bubba: Boy that is a big ole beaver and it sure is good. Nazi Chick you want some of Karen’s Beaver while I got it out.

 

Nazi Chick: Yes I do Bubba and thank you for offering and Karen’s Beaver better get ready for a big ole organism because I love to eat pussy and my husband Mark loves to watch so watch me eat Karen’s beaver honey.

 

Mark: I am watching and that is a big ole nasty looking beaver and I think everyone in town has had that big ole beaver and how about you Pete.

 

Karen’s Beaver: Oh oh oh my Petieeeeee! Wow that was a big one Petie give me another shot Petie!

 

Petie: Who the hell just yelled my name? I am going to set everyone up a free fireball and another free beer and then I am jumping over the bar and sticking my Pecker in that asshole and check and make sure her asshole is black because I have screwed you in the ass more than I have my wife so don’t stop eating that pussy Nazi Chick I will fuck her in the asshole while you lick that beaver.

 

Randy Gibson: I am back with the real stuff and I’m cutting out lines on the bar and see you guys got started without me and I picked up Heather my Hooter Girl while I made the drug run.

 

Heather Hooter Girl: I am going to eat all you girls pussy and I am starting with Tracy with 2 I’s and give me that pussy bitch and Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson get over here and pull my hair while I eat her pussy while she sucks off Dirty Joe because I like it rough and can’t suck a dick or eat pussy unless I am being dominated and I wish someone would get a tennis ball and some duct tape while I am eating Tracy with 2 I’s pussy and where is Blow Fish and why isn’t he eating my young pussy because no one eats my pussy like he does and he makes me scream “Oh Randy” and I meant to say “Oh Blow Fish” but said “Oh Randy” because I am a stupid as hell Hotter Girl that ain’t got a lick of sense or hooters just a wonder bra but I love to lick pussy and I am nasty as hell and you can’t take me out in public because I get drunk and turn Lesbo and start trying to lick every pussy and by giving women the Lesbo V lick sign and spread out your legs Tracy with 2 I’s and my mouth is on your pussy and my tongue licking your pussy good.

 

Randy Gibson: Hang on Heather Hooter Girl I have some duct tape and a tennis ball in the trunk of the car because I have to keep that kind of shit handy and I will tape the tennis ball in your mouth and fuck you in the ass after you finish eating Tracy with 2 I’s pussy and she looks too old for me but you go right ahead and enjoy it so everyone do their line this is real coke and not that imitation shit that Doctor Feel Good has and Doc get over here and fuck Heather in the ass while I go get the tennis ball and the duct tape because that’s what I do go get shit for these young Hooter Girls and then bring it back and so I will be right back and pull her hair while you fuck her because she doesn’t like sex if someone isn’t pulling her hair and watch out Pete is coming over the bar with his crooked dick that looks like a finger out and he might fuck you in the ass too.

 

Heather Hooter Girl: Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson get me some implants while you are gone and I asked Blow Fish to tell Randy Gibson I want some implants and he still hasn’t bought me any and I still have to wear this wonder bra because with the bra on I have hooters but when I take it off I am flat chested as hell so Randy buy me some implants and I think he has already gone and pull my fucking hair harder Doc!

 

Doctor Feel Good: I am pulling your hair you foul mouth little whore and Bubba why don’t you take your fist out of Stacy with an Is asshole and get in here and get some pussy why don’t you grab a Pompano Hoe and start fucking her up on the bar?

 

Bubba: I already got me a Pompano Hoe and she is singing me a song as I am fucking her because she thinks she is a song bird.

 

Songbird: I am a fucking song bird and I like to sing to Blow Fish so he will fall in love with me and fuck me forever and buy me a retirement plan because I am young and don’t want to work my whole life and I am singing to Bubba along with the music from the Tiki Bar while he is fucking me and some body fuck me in the ass too while I sing so come on Drunk Joe.

 

Drunk Joe: I cant fuck anymore I have drank so much beer I cant get it up so I will just stand over here with Mark and watch.

 

Stacy with an I and No Fist Up Her Asshole: Well thank you for taking that fist out of my asshole and I will eat all your pussy but I don’t want any penetration so don’t nobody try to stick a dick in my pussy and that’s my rule no penetration.

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: Stacy why the hell do you not like a dick in your pussy girl?

 

Stacy with an I and Her Tongue Up a Pussy: Mama I don’t like a dick up my pussy I like a woman’s tongue up my pussy instead. Come here Heather Hooter Girl and let me eat your nasty Lesbo pussy and grab my big ole plastic titties and I will pull your hair come here you little Bitch.

 

Heather Hooter Girl: That’s the way I like it harder, pull my hair harder while I eat your pussy Stacy with an I and Heather’s tongue on her pussy.

 

Stacy with an I’s Mama: Girl you are a little Heathanistic Lesbo whore. Your Mama will never be a Grand Mama will she?

 

Stacy with an I and a Tongue Up Her Pussy: No Mama I don’t want a dick up my pussy or a baby in my tummy so no wood in here or a baby either just another woman’s pussy.

 

Jeff Coonass: Come on Stacy with an I let me lick that pussy for you, have you ever had a Coonass before.

 

Stacy with an I with a Nigger Dick in Her Pussy: No I have had sex with my colored boyfriend in high school but not a Coonass just a nigger Coonass.

 

Jeff Coonass: Well how does that feel?

 

Stacy with an I with a Coonass Dick Up Her Ass: I don’t feel a thing what are you doing I thought you were licking my pussy?

 

Jeff Coonass: No I am fucking you in your big ole butt and you can’t feel anything?

 

Stacy with an I with Bubba’s Fist Up Her Ass and a Coonass Dick Up Her Pussy: No Bubba had his whole fist up there and I prayed to God it would stop hurting and I guess God heard my prayer and took all the feeling away from my asshole and now you got your dick in my Pussy and I said no penetration so take it out I do not like dicks in my pussy and I just want a woman to lick my pussy so Kimmy please eat my pussy like only a woman can do it and I wish Blow Fish was here because he licks pussy real fine at least that’s what all the girls say with those full lips of his and Bubba ain’t got no lips and don’t know nothing about pleasing a woman unless it’s that Krissa whore and she says he’s a tiny little dick but I think she has a big ole pussy from screwing that big ole nigger boy friend she has.

 

Evil Whore Kimmy: Come here Stacy with an I and I will eat your pussy and Jeff Coonass you can fuck me in the asshole while I do Stacy with an I.

 

Dirty Joe: Well I am going home to get some heroin because this coke is good but heroin is better so I’m walking across the street to the condo and to get some and not wash my dick and screw the tourist whore that I met on Plenty of Fish and then not wash my dick and be back with some Heroin and then I will get my dick sucked again and maybe the Nazi Chick will be finished with Karen’s Beaver and I can screw her beaver again and she likes it nasty.

 

Nazi Chick: I want to eat your pussy Stacy with an I while Blow Fish fucks me in the asshole while Mark watches so get over here Mark and watch this.

 

Mark: I don’t think Blow Fish is here yet so Bubba get over here and screw my wife in the asshole and let me watch because I like to watch and I just may screw you in the asshole while you are screwing my wife in the asshole because sometimes I get tired of watching and like to fuck the guy in the ass that’s fucking my wife so come on Bubba.

 

Manager Pompano Joe’s: What the hell is going on out here in the Tiki Bar Petie? You are all having Heathanistic sex in public in the Tiki Bar so Petie get over here and fuck me in the ass hole and that’s an order and talk to me while you are fucking me and describe my asshole to me and what color is it now Petie you little bitch.

 

Petie: Well I can’t see it I’m so drunk from drinking shots at work I just can’t make it out.

 

Bubba: I have my glasses on and it looks brown and getting browner and so is you dick Petie you better wash your dick before you go home and your wife catches you screwing around on her again.

 

Petie: Fuck her I am going to the Cabana Bar for some more fun after work.

 

Randy Gibson: Well I am back with the tennis ball and I see you are all at it now and I brought Michelle Hooter Girl with me and she wants to get in on the action but she is afraid of big dicks so I will just have to fuck her myself.

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: Why don’t I just give you a blow job Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson because that’s my specialty and I charge $2800 per blow job or for the evening because I am a blow job prostitute and I pay my bills and support my daughter with my blow jobs so form a line and I will start with Randy Gibson and then you Doc and then Petie and then my God Dirty Joe that is the nastiest dick I have ever seen in my life!

 

Dirty Joe: That’s why they call me Dirty Joe I never wash my dick between having Heathanistic sex and just go from woman to woman getting it dirtier and dirtier and it is disgusting I think that tourist whore might have started and I can’t remember. I have been drinking since 10 am and now I’m high on heroin and someone let my buddy Randy Stockbroker fuck them he’s my buddy from Ft Lauderdale and he’s my local Heroin dealer and he wants to get some pussy too.

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: I will let the Song Bird Pompano Hoe take him he looks as nasty as you do Dirty Joe. Where is Blow Fish I want him to eat my little pussy all night long?

 

Heather Hotter Girl: I’ve got my asshole full of dick and a dick in my pussy and my mouth is on Karen’s Big Ole Beaver and Blow Fish isn’t here yet and how did you know he ate my pussy all night long?

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: I didn’t until now and so when did this happen and I bet it was on his birthday I read that you were his birthday present from Randy so how much did Randy pay you?

 

Heather Hooter Girl: Randy gives me checks and then he puts a stop payment on them so why would I take anymore checks from him its strictly cash for Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson from now on and Blow Fish gets it for free bitch.

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: I though you were my friend and you were fixing me up with Blow Fish and the whole time you were trying to keep him for yourself and showing up on our fuck nights so you could keep him for yourself well you are screwed because I have been going to his house when I told you I was going to Randy Gibson’s house and I was looking for Blow Fish tonight so where is he?

 

Steve Hillbilly Fag: I had his ass drugged and thrown in jail and then we chased him all over the SE of the US of A and then he lost us and we are looking for him now and going to have him committed for life for the lies he is putting on the internet and we can do it too and Gay Charles is getting the evidence we need from the Gulf Breeze UMC and then he will go down and so will this blog.

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: What the hell when did this happen Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson?

 

Randy Gibson: Well it just started and I am staying out of it and letting the Police deal with him that are working for the Harbor  Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang and so I am staying out of it.

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: Well then I am beating your ass so bad you will beg for mercy!

 

Randy Getting His Ass Whipped Again Gibson: Oh please don’t do that and please don’t stop and maybe Ms Jackie can help you. I think she could really beat my ass real good!

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: I don’t need help from that bitch and which one of you Hillbilly Fags asked Blow Fish how could he sleep with me because I look too young to have sex?

 

Steve Hillbilly Fag: That would be me sweetie and I thought you looked too young to have sex with but I guess I was wrong if you’re a prostitute.

 

Michelle Hooter Girl: Come here you Hillbilly Fag Queen and get what I am giving to Randy Gibson I will take care of both of you I don’t charge Blow Fish because I am trying to get him to marry me so I don’t have to sell it anymore and sleep with perverts like you too so take your beating like the Faggot Queens that you both are and yes Randy Gibson I am your Mommy and Mommy is pissed at you little thieving pirate ass and Steve you Little Bitch I know you like Gay Charles to whip your ass and you are both paying me cash and no more checks Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson with your stop payments on checks.

 

Mark: Wow I have been a bad boy too and hang on there I don’t want to watch Randy Stock Broker fuck my Nazi Chick Wife. Some body else fuck Randy Stock Broker in the ass he looks like a pedophile to me.

 

Petie: Come here boy and lets see what color asshole you got and there you go and that’s some good asshole there and Petie will fuck you real good.

 

Randy Stockbroker: Well I just came by to drop off some Heroin for Dirty Joe but go ahead as long as you don’t tell my wife the Bull Dog Pompano Hoe.

 

Bull Dog Pompano Hoe: I am right here Randy Stock Broker and Randy Gibson give it too me in the asshole too so I am good and fuck that ass Randy Fucking Me Over the Bar Gibson.

 

Randy Stockbroker: I have grabbed me a tourist teenager and I am fucking the shit out of her young underage pussy which is what I love, underage girls. How old are you sugar?

 

Teenager Tourist: I am only 14 but I won’t tell my daddy until I get pregnant and then he will throw your ass in jail and won’t let you out until you agree to leave town and then go somewhere else and do it again so I don’t  know why they let you out of jail you just keep raping underage girls and you are heroin addict and a pedophile and somebody should shoot you and put you down like a rabid dog in this fantasy blog where nothing is real but just an expression of free speech  protected by the 5th amendment and where children need to be protected from Randy Stockbroker the Pedophile and that Perverted Chef Cuvee too!

 

Randy Gibson: I want some of that young pussy too because I am a bad little pirate and Mommy is spanking me harder, harder bitch and take that dick Bull Dog in the asshole!

 

Mark: Bubba get your dick out of my wife’s asshole boy I don’t want to watch that shit any more.

 

Bubba: Well sorry Mark but I have started and I can’t stop until I am finished because I am a specialist at fucking other men’s wives after they have told me to stop and I just don’t stop because I am so stupid and that’s why Mr. Ball is setting me up because I have screwed over so many married men by screwing their wives because that it is my specialty but you can come fuck me in the ass hole which makes me Gay and now maybe the local women and the married tourist women will leave me alone so come on Mark give it to me good because I will fuck anybody and let anybody fuck me after I have been drinking so go ahead and give it to me good.

 

Mark: I’m not gay but ok I will just fuck you in the ass for a minute and what have you been eating boy that is some horrible smelling asshole.

 

Bubba: All I’ve had to eat today was a small turkey and that was the special of the day at Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang today and it taste like Dog Shit so stop by there and get you some food that taste like Dog Shit and that’s my report for the Restaurant Review for today at the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang so check back in tomorrow and see what the special will be and see who I am fucking over tomorrow or who is fucking over me and check back and see how I am feeling because even though Mark has his dick in my asshole my stomach is feeling rough and I think Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang may have served me some bad meat today at lunch so check back tomorrow because they may have poisoned my ass or either Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson set me up with a poisoned meal so check back tomorrow and see if that small turkey is flying out my mouth or out of my ass.

 

Mark: Well your asshole smells like dog shit just like the food at Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang your Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin and you got some good Hillbilly Fag pussy there boy and I mean good that is some good asshole have you tired Bubbas asshole Petie?

 

Petie: Yes I tear it up all the time and stop calling me Petie or I will fuck you Mark so you have been warned.

 

Bubba: Fuck that asshole Mark! Fuck it! That’s it you’ve found my sweet spot!

 

Mark: Petie! Petie! Come on and give it to me Petie!

 

Petie: Ok you asked for it and Kimmy suck off Mark while I am fucking him in the asshole.

 

Evil Whore Kimmy: Why don’t you just fuck my big ole boobs Mark and then cum in my face because I like it the way Blow Fish gives it too me and Steve never gives it too me anymore now that he is Hillbilly Gay and only likes men and there he is  getting fucked in the ass like some Hillbilly Fag and that’s what he likes and spank that ass.

 

Troll: Kimmy will you let me watch?

 

Evil Whore Kimmy: I will do more than that. I will let you fuck me in the ass and you can watch Mark cum in my face while Heather eats my pussy and Randy Fucking Himself Over Gibson has a tennis ball duck taped in his mouth so fuck him Steve there you go now and how does that feel Randy Fucking Himself Over Gibson?

 

Troll: I want what Randy Gibson is getting Kimmy but thanks but I like Petie to fuck me in my asshole and tell me what color it is.

 

Petie: Troll did you call me Petie well get your ass hole over here and I am going to fuck you over good boy and that is some nasty fucking Puerto Rican asshole and it stinks like hell and what the hell have you been eating Boy?

 

Troll: Just Reggae Rolls and the Pompano Joe Chef gives them away in exchange for sex so if you want to be screwed by Pompano Joes just order the Reggae Rolls and that’s my report today from the Restaurant Review and everyday. The Reggae Rolls taste like Puerto Rican pussy and that is the worst tasting pussy in the world and give it too me harder Petie! Petie! Petie! That’s better Petie much better oh yea good little Petie!

 

Petie: Well that is the worst smelling asshole I have ever fucked and it does smells like Puerto Rican pussy and that’s the worst smell in the world so that would be my report today as well from Pompano Joe’s on the Restaurant Review that the Reggae Rolls smell and taste just like Puerto Rican Pussy and that’s the worse tasting pussy in the world and I can hardly stand the smell and my eyes are watering up and man that ass hole is black as hell and stinks.

 

Randy Gibson: Argg! Argg! Spank me while you fuck me in the ass hole Steve or I won’t cum. Spank that bad boy Pirate ass call me a bad little Pirate.

 

Steve Hillbilly Fag: Ok Pirate Randy I am fucking that ass and spanking that ass and how does that feel? You have been a bad little Pirate! How do you like that Hillbilly Fag sex you bad little Pirate?

 

Randy Fucking Himself Over For Screwing With Blow Fish Gibson: I haven’t fucked with Blow Fish yet but it sure feels good! Weeeeeeeee! Weeeeeeee!

 

The Long Arm of the Law: Yes you have Randy Gibson and soon the Long Arm of the Law will be looking for you and there you are with a dick in your ass and someone spanking you and you  screaming Weeeeeeeee! So I know right where to find you and when it’s time the Long Arm of the Law will reach out and grab you and tell AJ Laird is ass is going down too and you know what for and so do I so watch out Randy Fucking Yourself Over Gibson with a whip!

 

Steve Hillbilly Fag: That’s it boy squeal like a pig. Weeeeee! Weeeeee! And that’s what Harbor Docks Hillbilly Sex is like and we screw over everyone and we never wash our hands before returning to work because we love the smell of asshole and all our food taste like Dog Shit and so does my dick Randy Gibson what have you been eating boy?

 

Randy Gibson: Just some nuts and berries and Heather Hooter Girls asshole.

 

Petie: I said if you don’t change my caller id I will fuck you over didn’t I so do we have an understanding or not because I will fuck you over and do we have an understanding?

 

Blow Fish: And I said we will have to wait and see and we are still waiting and so give your customers free shots and drinks to set me up Petie because I won’t stop working you over until you are sleeping in your truck and loose your job and so tell me how many drinks have you had at happy hour today Bubba and what’s your tab and why don’t I pay your tab to settle up with you for your loss of income yesterday when I confused you and you got lost and couldn’t show up for work?

 

Bubba: Ok I will let you pay my tab and I know I have had 20 beers or so and about 10 free fireball shots and my total tab is and I do not have my glasses so help me please Mr. Ball. I can’t read the total to calculate my tip so what would that be?

 

Blow Fish: Well your total for all those 20 beers and 10 free shots is $1.50 Bubba. So I know you are cheap so your tip would be 10% of $1.50 is 15 cent so I will take care of this for you.

 

That really was Bubba’s tab and he couldn’t figure out how much his tip was and was so drunk he couldn’t even read his check or calculate his tip at this Happy Hour set up at Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar on this Fantasy Blog called the Big Show and it gets worse as it gets later when the Pompano Hoe’s get off work and join in on the drinking because the employees don’t have to leave when they get off work, they can stay there and drink free with the locals and then it really gets rough and then after the sunsets they move the whole discussing affair to the Cabana Bar where they start all over again and I will have a Blow Fish Shot Party there in a few days and all the players will be there for your entertainment on this fantasy blog that is based on fact just as I said earlier and for entertainment only so if you aren’t entertained then go to another radio call in show because this one is protected by my civil rights protected by the US Constitution and the 5th amendment and Pompano Joe serves the local drunks practically for free and they are all just nasty as hell and degenerate perverts and it is so wrong to give Alcoholics free drinks, it just ruins there lives and they get DUIs and loose their jobs and their cars and their homes but it continues so stop by there and see these Heathaners yourself and watch how nasty their Heathanistic lifestyle is and if you were standing in line and waiting on a table inside the restaurant you would wonder how can these low life bums afford to drink here? It’s because you the tourist treat them to free drinks because they con you into buying them one and the bar gives them free drinks as well and they can’t even work a full day at their job because they have to get to Happy Hour at 3 pm and some of them hang out on the beach and drink all day until 3 pm and then they join the Happy Hour crowd and it’s so easy for them to be over served there and it’s normal to them and they expect and demand it just like in the Blog and that would be the Law that they are breaking at Pompano Joe’s along with busting out my head lights which I think Petie had the Troll bust out my head light about 3 different times and I saw a local get arrested while walking to his car to get his wallet after he had pissed off Petie and he called the cops and the guy got a DUI and he wasn’t even in his car, he just had car keys in his pocket and Petie has screwed over many other customers too so stop by and see Petie and all the asshole bartenders like the evil whore Kimmy and that bitch Cathy the bartender at Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar and piss Petie off by asking him if any of the waitresses called the Pompano Hoe’s have pink assholes because that would be the ones Petie hadn’t gotten a hold of yet and soon maybe he will have to get a real job and loose his bar-tending license and his boat captain license because he is running a charter boat fishing business out of the Tiki Bar but he doesn’t have a captain license and is a poacher and all that his true but the worst thing he does is what he does behind the bar and so ask him to show you how you can tell if a man is a crooked man and he will show you because he is a crooked man with a crooked dick that looks like a finger so be sure to ask him to show it to you because he will right there behind the bar with the customers looking and it looks funny as hell and so does Petie but he doesn’t know that so tell him that he looks like a crooked man with a crooked dick that looks like a finger and say Blow Fish said so on the Big Show and then run like hell and he will hit you with a snow ball and a police will arrest you and throw your ass in jail because he is a crooked man and I’m still not finished with you Fucking Punk Asshole!

 

Petie: Bubba don’t let him see your tab that’s for your eyes only.

 

Bubba: But I don’t have my glasses and I can’t tell if its $1.50 or $10.50 or $15.00 or $150. so what was that tip amount so I can close out Blow Fish?

 

Blow Fish: 15 cent Bubba you cheap drunk dumb asshole I already paid your tab.

 

Blow Fish: Well that’s how they treat the locals at the Tiki Bar at Pompano Joe’s and Bubba is so stupid he can’t calculate his tip with or without his glasses or with someone’s help and he really believes it’s the locals Happy Hour drinking that keeps the place open and I have ordered about 40 shots before and said “Why don’t I just give you a twenty and you keep it and lets just forget about my whole tab” and the Bartender would say “Works for me” down at the beach bar when I get everyone drunk as hell and over served including all the Hot As Hell Spring Breakers who get the good drinks when I order them but when the tourist order their own drinks they get screwed cause they aren’t worth a shit and when I buy them everyone gets the good stuff except for Randy Fucking You Over Gibson who freaks and says….

 

Randy Gibson: Argg!! I gotta go!

 

Blow Fish: Because he has Paranoid Personality Disorder from all the drugs he deals with and is afraid he may get arrested one day and one day we will discuss his personally and he won’t like that either and I almost forgot to call Triple A or AAA again.

Hello my car is over in the bank parking lot in Downtown Destin and the license plate reads “Bale Chaser” on it and I called yesterday and asked you to tow it and it is still downtown so I still need it towed over to Randy Gibson’s Boat House where he keeps his boat that I call the “Scum Bucket” on the island in Ft Walton Beach on Cobia Ave! If you would drop it off there I would appreciate it so very much.

 

AAA Customer Service: Yes Sir Mr. Blow Fish thank you again sir and thanks for your call, I will make sure it gets there immediately.

 

Blow Fish: We will see if that makes the newspaper tomorrow morning!

So tune back in tomorrow morning when I will be covering Randy Gibson first day at work as an Over the Road Long Haul Semi Truck Driver and we will see how he does and what the Police do when they find the Bale Chaser’s car at Randy’s house so check back tomorrow and I will make the big announcement about the new Craft Beer that the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang is brewing on the Big Dick your Sushi and Craft Beer Drinking Gay Destination in Downtown Destin FL and that’s all coming up tomorrow and so change your panties and shave that thang and freshen yourself up a little because the Eat My Key Lime Pie Day is coming up soon and we don’t want that shit smelling like Tilapia!

 

Bubba: Well I think $1.50 sounds fair but I am just trying to figure out what my tip would be so I can cash out and that is all we know about that I think anyway I think that’s all Ha ha…

 

Blow Fish: You bunch of Fucking Dumb Assholes that can’t even read!