This is my last day of the blog. I have had so many complaints about the language of the characters and honesty I am ashamed to be associated with this bunch of low lives so I am pulling the plug and returning to our previously scheduled programming which is where I left off in Pensacola FL since the Bubbas of the Gulf Coast don’t know how to read and they aren’t concerned about when they are going to jail and that would be sooner than they think then I will pack it up and move back up to Pensacola FL where I started and I will just finish up there and then move back to Atlanta. I have even had complaints about the Restaurant Review which I thought was professionally and tastily done and extensively researched on my part and so I will just say that on the Restaurant Review today I have Documented Evidence that the food at Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang taste like Dog Shit and I will prove that later in the Big Show so check back in for that later in the show because I have proof and then I have an article here from the Destin Log Newspaper it appears that a local Destin Businessman has disappeared who’s name is being withheld until police are able to notify the next of kin and I don’t think it’s my Blow Fish ass that’s missing here in the paper and do not know if the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang was involved in the drugging and the death of this Destin Businessman like so many other disappearances in Destin FL but he is missing from his home and his business in Destin Fl and has not been seen in days and Local Police are baffled and confused and the Police are searching for his car and asking anyone with any information to please call investigators and it appears that investigators has contacted several business associates of the missing Destin Businessman and it says in the article that both AJ Laird and Randy Gibson were both contacted and questioned into their involvement with the Destin Businessman’s disappearance and asked if they had any information into the disappearance of the Destin Businessman and they both responded to police questions by saying and the paper quotes them saying “We have no comment, no that’s not it, it’s we don’t know anything about that, Argg! Gotta go!” So I will be keeping an eye on this story and an ear to the ground for any information into the missing Destin Businessman that has not been seen in days and I will hopefully have more information on that tomorrow and I wonder if that could be the Bale Chaser and I wonder if the Police have looked for his car at AJs house? Well I guess we will find out later.
AJ Laird: Randy what the hell is he talking about? I thought I told you to take that car away from my house and get rid of it. Did you take care of that?
Randy Gibson: I did. I went by your house and moved it and parked it in a public parking lot that wasn’t connected with any business so that the Police wouldn’t be questioning anyone about how long it had been there.
AJ Laird: Good hopefully that is the last time we will hear from the Police or read about it in the newspaper and I will keep my mouth shut if you will right.
Randy Gibson: Argg! No problem, I gotta go!
Blow Fish: So we will check back in tomorrow on the Mystery which is Where is the Bale Chaser and I wonder where his car is and maybe I will just go look for it on my way to Pensacola FL. and I will get to the bottom it because I just love a good mystery.
Gene Luciano: Blow Fish what have you done with the Bale Chaser and are trying to pin this on me and pick on someone else and leave my bale chaser alone and I mean my drug smuggling business and leave my son out of it and god damn it, now I associated my son with my drug smuggling and you will run with that and I will have set up my own son so I am warning you to stay out of my bale chasers business which is my drug smuggling business or the boat that chases down the bales and brings it into the Tiki Bar and leave my Tiki Bar alone too and I mean it or I will come up there to where you are and kill you deader than shit and I forgot the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang has a contract out on you for me to fulfill so where are you Blow Fish you must be in Destin at the Yacht Club and loading it up in Bubbas pick up and headed to Pensacola and I am texting that Intel to my son and he will be right there to take you out and all those nasty whores and fags that want cum squirted in their faces how disgusting aren’t there any good church girls there?
Blow Fish: Geno thanks for all the confessions and the Intel about your son and where I can find him and there is a good church girl here and I am dating her and her name is Lisa Fucking Gaddis and if you are going to hit the nasty faggots then you will be killing your employer Gay Charles the Gay Leader of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang and he won’t be able to pay you for taking me out so what is he paying you with because he is too cheap to pay cash and he always pays with sushi which he catches in the Gulf of Mexico and I know you don’t eat sushi from the Gulf and you don’t eat Yellow Tail that is Tilapia and Grouper that is really Basa and so why would you work for a faggot that pays with sushi that is actually lower quality fish that you don’t eat?
Gene Luciano: That cheap son of a bitch I think I will kill him too and steal his business and I mean it, take over his territory and run him out of business if he treats his customers like that and don’t start in on me because I poison my customers in Naples we just poison the cheap ones that we don’t want to come back in anyway so don’t start that Google search engine 2 entrees for $40.95 with a free bottle of wine and the poison is in the wine Blow Fish bull shit with me and I am on my way to deal with this Gay Charles asshole myself.
Blow Fish: You need to Geno he is ripping you off with that sushi deal you made with him.
Gay Charles the Gay Leader of the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang: Wow that caller id is stupendous and I know Dan the Big Ole Fag but be jealous of that and if Geno comes after me Blow Fish then I am getting a paper from Gulf Breeze UMC from Herb Sadler and then coming after you because I think you are trying to set me up for the unscrupulous way I run my businesses so you better watch out and I am warning you.
Blow Fish: Such serious death threats so early in the morning and I all I want to is drink a beer but I don’t drink beer so I would like to dedicate the Song of the Day to my drinking buddies or my victims and to the spectators that have witnessed their drinking of my shots as described my them as inhuman and unusual treatment of alcoholics everywhere and sometimes referred to as me taking advantage of them and I have even heard that I have forced these drunkards to drink my shots and so to all of you low life alcoholics that I have set up with my Blow Fish Shot Parties this day is for you and this beer is for you and this song is for you and it’s “Pretty Good At Drinking Beer” and says everything about you that you are good at and good for and the artist is Billy Currington and this is a tribute to you bunch of drunks.
Zac Brown: Buddy Roo what are we listening too? Is this song about beer drinking and alcoholism? I have my colored girl’s children sitting down in front of the Big Show listening and they keep calling me into the room to explain what this horrible song is about so please explain to me what we are listening too and why are we listening to this trash instead of one of my beautiful love songs about fire being in her thong or thunder in her thighs or something beautiful like that.
The Long Arm of the Law: This song isn’t about drinking beer it’s a sexual position where the man stands up and the woman gets on her knees and she catches his cum with her mouth open and her tongue out and the man squirts his cum in her mouth and that is Pretty Good at Drinking Beer. It’s about swallowing cum.
Blue Balls: I think I am going to puck and yes and here it comes….
Zac Brown: Have you lost your mind my colored girl’s kids were listening to the Big Show and heard that and they all ran outside the house screaming watch your language young lady where were you raised in a whore house?
Long Arm of the Law: I was raised in Boca Raton FL and I am an expert at the meanings of country music songs among other things.
Zac Brown: Well please keep it clean and we do not talk like that in Georgia so please try and keep it clean and Blow Fish where does she get this shit its backwards thinking?
Blow Fish: I do not know. I met her and her girl friends at a Country Music Karaoke Bar and they all drank on my dime all night and we partied and sang Karaoke and the whole time I had to listen to her telling me what every song meant so I asked her if I could include her views on the Big Show and she said hell no leave me out of it and so I changed her name and included her anyway because what ever we think the song is about her opinion is the opposite and she thinks she is a cop or a spy and wants me to set you up for her and we will talk about that when we get to Boca Raton on the Tiki Bar Tour where there is a bar owner I have a problem with something he is doing that is against the law and the Long Arm of the Law may just be called out to set him up and I have a redneck caller now so go ahead Mr. Bubba Alan Hunter and I recognize your caller id Bubba and your life style and so go ahead Bubba and how’s it hanging Bubba?
Bubba: I was about to call in and complain about your treatment of Pirate Randy and AJ because they are local community leaders and a hero to us all and model citizens and then I heard you were moving and was going to offer my truck to help you move your shit if you need any help and I am sure there will be free beer involved and I could sure use one this morning after last night and man I am hurting you really put a whooping on me at the Upside Down Bar last night so I am up and ready to go to work.
Blow Fish: Well I am amazed that you are willing to work for beer alone, the last time we discussed employment it included a retirement plan and a permanent position do you remember that?
Bubba: I do remember that Ha Ha. I was going to try my hand at kitchen cabinet installation but you wouldn’t pay me fair so I said take that job and shove it and just went back to drinking at the Tiki Bar and that was a close one because we had a big ole time that day yes we did and I mean what a time we had Ha Ha.
Blow Fish: I do appreciate the offer so if you want to help me load up the blog in the back of your piece of shit shackled up GMC pick em up truck of yours and haul it off up to Pensacola I will be glad to supply the beer and the gas so just come ahead on over but I don’t drink beer and you are not drinking my handle of Crown and I am not drinking at all its too early and I seldom drink so just pick up a 12 pack of beer for breakfast and I will pay you back when you get here.
Bubba: Well now we have a problem and we haven’t even gotten started. Our deal that we both agreed to and shook on was that you supply the beer and I supply the truck and you would of course pay for the fuel and it is gas and I will help load the blog and haul it off up to Pensacola FL and you supply the beer and we shook on that I am not buying the beer that is your part of the bargain so we need to renegotiate.
Blow Fish: OK what do I need to do on my end to make this a doable deal?
Gene Luciano: Hold on there Blow Fish mother fucker and sorry to your Mother in Heaven but I know where you’re going with this and its straight up my asshole and we made a deal and you keep Gordon out of this and off the blog because that deal you made with him to buy the 5 pounds of pot is off and we didn’t know you were setting us up and so just back off and do not go there.
Blow Fish: I was only using a turn of phrase that Gordon uses to describe that he has 5 pounds of pot and will sell it to my buddy in Naples that buys 5 pounds a year for his own personal consumption and I think that is legal as long as it is for personal consumption correct and recreational use?
Gene Luciano: I think that only applies to Moonshine Blow Fish you are confused if you think that’s legal so I have the last laugh and I guess Gordon is set up after all.
Bubba: Sounds good to me and if you have any pot lying around I will take that off your hands.
Blow Fish: OK then why don’t we add that into the deal. If I leave any pot laying around you can steal it and I will pay for the beer, if you will pick it up because I have to finish the blog for today before I load it up and move it up to Pensacola and I think it’s west so I guess it would be over to the left and not up.
Bubba: What are you talking about I think I just got lost, up and over to the left where are you I thought you were at the Yacht Club and I just passed there and now I am completely confused and lost and do not know where I am going so I guess I need to turn around and head to the beer store and I will call back for directions because I don’t think I can find you anymore something about to the left and which left is that I mean this one or that one because there are 2 lefts aren’t there?
Blow Fish: Where are you now?
Bubba: I am at the beer store and trying to recover from the whooping you put on me and Drunk Joe and Stacey with an I last night and I think it involved the whole damn bar and we were so drunk that we couldn’t ride our bikes home and Drunk Joe says that he nearly died trying to get home.
Drunk Joe: Wayno this Drunk Joe and what the hell happened last night I can’t feel my feet and I am bleeding profuselessly and have a horrible hangover and so I need a beer Bubba can you swing by with the 12 pack and I will buy the next one and I just need to get back to feeling human again and need a jump start please.
Bubba: I am working this morning but I can stop by when I get off work. I am helping Mr. Ball move the blog up and over to the left to Pensacola and now I am dizzy and need to just sit down right here and finish this beer before I get myself dizzy again by standing up.
Drunk Joe: What happened last night? I feel pain so I know I am alive and can’t recall what happened last night. I remember Wayno bought the bar a round and then a round and then a round and now I am dizzy and I think I wrecked my bike and fell on the asphalt and bite the road and now I have battle scares and road rash and am bleeding and will have to seek medical help as soon as I can stand erect again but I can’t move until I have a beer in my hand so please Bubba it’s a medical emergency please bring me a cold one so I can feel human again, I think I saw a car coming at me on the way home from the Upside Down Bar and I like that name better than what they named it and so please stop by Bubba and help a brother out please?
Bubba: Ok I think I will just skip work today and help out a friend in need so I will stop by on my way to the Happy Hour at the Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar and that’s at 3 so we will drink this 12 pack this morning and then you buy the next one and then Mr. Ball will buy the next one and by then we should be about right for Happy Hour so I am on my way and I will see you accordingly.
Blow Fish: Well I got out of that fiasco and I did get them all drunk last night to set up the Upside Down Bar because they do something that is illegal there and then they do another thing that’s illegal and I will share that as soon as I finish my beer and I am kidding, I do not really drink but I have set up these assholes so well that they believe that I am a more terrible drunk than they are and I get them so drunk that they don’t notice that I’m not drinking when they are drinking my free shots while I am standing at the bar with the bartender laughing at them being so drunk and falling all over the place and so that’s how I set up the bar for over serving their customers and that’s against the law and they can loose their liquor license and if you drug your customers then that’s a felony and they can loose their liquor license and then go to jail for serving someone drugs in their drink and both the bartender and the bar owner or whoever is on the liquor license will be prosecuted too so that was what I accomplished with the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang but last night the Upside Down Bar was over serving their customers and they are also running prostitutes at the Upside Down Bar and that’s not the name it’s the Bottoms Up Bar and that would be the legal name and they are next door to a liquor store and they may loose their liquor license too because there is a door where you walk from one business to another business and that makes it one business and I don’t like the service at the Liquor Store so I just may set them up too and I already have because they gave me a plastic cup and ice one time and that is called a set up because they served me liquor without a liquor pouring licenses so both of those businesses are going down.
Randy Gibson: Hey Mo Fo! Argg! What’s up tonight? I heard I missed a wild one last night I passed out after Happy Hour last night and never made it back out but I am up and drinking Coconut water to survive this hangover and then I have my nuts and berries here and I am going to eat them and then drink this bottle of wine and I drank a whole gallon of Tito’s yesterday and don’t give me any shit about it either because I have been parting allot and I drink more when I party so that is ok and so what’s up tonight and where’s the party?
Blow Fish: Good morning buddy and I would never judge your alcoholic consumption and I have a gallon of Tito’s over here at my Miramar Beach House that I bought you for Christmas and you came by to bring me my present and you left without it so if you need a drink there is one here with your name on it and I know how to mix your drinks and I wish you would learn to order your drinks correctly at the bars and so once again if you would stop ordering a Tito’s and Sprite and tell them to fill the glass up with the Tito’s and then take the sprite and say the word sprite as fast as they can while putting the Sprite in the drink then you will be able to drink it.
Randy Gibson: That’s right I will try that because the Sprite gives me a stomach ache and I don’t need that I am healthier than I have even been with my new eating regiment and I am dropping the pounds off faster than you can say Sprite and my secret is I get up every morning and drink Coconut water to make the hangover go away and then I eat nuts and berry and they are organic and then I slip on a bottle of wine until it is gone and then I start in on the gallon of Tito’s and I do not over pour the sprite that is the secret your are correct about that.
Blow Fish: Ok Buddy well I got to get finished with work today and I will see you later at Happy Hour at Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar and we can check out the local talent and the tourist talent as well.
Randy Gibson: I hope there is some new talent there I have slept with every woman in this town and all the Tiki Bars and if I don’t find some new talent I may just go to church on Sunday and see what the women there look like but I will see you later Bubba, sorry I mean Blow Fish cause I know you don’t like being called a dumbass Bubba.
Coonass Jeff: What’s a Coon Ass and I know and yes I am and where the hell is Bubba with that 12 pack I could use one right after I eat breakfast and then take a shit and then I am good to go for the day and can drink till I pass out so where’s the party brother?
Blow Fish: Well it was at the Upside Down Bar last night where I bought the shots and the bar suffered the consequences and how are you today I didn’t see you last night does your wife still have you on a short leash since she found out you had an affair at the Tortuga Festival last year?
Coonass Jeff: Shouldn’t it be Jeff Coonass and yes she does and I thought we were never going to mention that again I was on a guy’s trip to a concert in Ft Lauderdale and I thought what happened in Ft Lauderdale stays in Ft Lauderdale and you were with her fat friend anyway how did that go?
Blow Fish: I do not do fat at all so I was just being a good wing man and I am a good wing man brother and I think I should take this other caller so ahead sir.
Billy Bob: You need to stop running your mouth about people screwing around behind their wives back and then you won’t get yourself in so much trouble.
Bubba: That’s what I told him I said you need to stop wearing those fancy shirts and be nicer to people and build a house and settle down like Dr Feelgood.
Dr. Feelgood: Where the hell is that beer Bubba? I sent you to the store with a twenty to get a 12 pack and I haven’t seen you since and where the hell is my golf cart?
Jeff The Coonass: Bubba is here by me, I am parked in my golf cart at Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar parking lot and he pulled in and we are having a cold one to start the day off and I gotta run to the bathroom to take a shit and I always hate eating food because it makes me shit and I hate having to take a shit but its just the one meal a day and then I am good for drinking all day without another shit so here I go and getting this out of the way.
Bubba: That’s what you get for eating you dumb Coonass. I never eat so I never shit and I don’t drink tap water only beer and fireball and I could sure use a shot to settle my stomach and so where is Pete the bartender I need a shot and that asshole Bartender Big Ed will charge me for it so come on Pete where are you brother of another brother hurry up and open the Tiki Bar it is beautiful day on the beach and the women are out in their bikinis and I am feeling lucky today and lets get this party started and Mr. Ball is having another shot party soon at the Cabana Bar so lets get this thing started.
Jeff The Coonass: Oh shit! It’s the Po Po and good morning officer beautiful day isn’t it?
Po Po: What’s in the Styrofoam cup and what the hell are you two up to?
Jeff The Coonass; Oh that’s just my morning coffee and I will just throw that away and get going excuse me officer I gotta go take a shit!
Connie: Wayne are you listening to My Kind of Party on Pandora by Jason Aldean and working the redneck lyrics into the blog this morning?
Blow Fish: Good morning sunshine! I was up and gone early so I could get the blog written and torn down and load it up and move it too another town and was thinking about just coming back home and settling down with you and forgetting the blog and just stay at home with you for awhile.
Connie: My husband would not like that at all.
Bubba: I don’t ever let that stop me and I would not take no for an answer Mr. Ball you just go on over there and just refuse to leave.
Gay Scot: I agree with Bubba I moved in with a woman that had a husband and we all three slept in the same bed and all had sex together for about a year and then got tired of them and moved in with that South American girl that I call a southern lady that you think is a whore and lived with her and her husband for two years and she ended up liking me better than him and then he had to sleep out on the sofa so I just always ignore the husband unless he swings both ways and that’s why I am called Gay Scot.
Blow Fish: Well that is all true Gay Scot but in this fantasy blog anything can happen it’s not real so I can be at the Upside Down Bar last night and also with Connie and her kids Connie and also up where ever I really am so look for me down there and over to the right if you’re looking for me Randy Fucking You Over Gibson who can’t read the blog for himself and has to ask Stacey with an I what I am writing and where I am so you can come and fuck me up and shut me up and so there you go look for me there Randy and soon and I do mean soon Randy Fucking You Over Gibson will be fucking me over with a pipe wrench or a shot gun or a 22 caliber with a silencer.
Gene Luciano: What in the hell are you talking about I am coming at you with my 22 caliber with compression chamber and it is cleaned and I did take the suppression chamber off before I cleaned it so I didn’t get the cleaning rod stuck in the chamber and I wish you would stop embarrassing me with bringing that up continually and all the Russians in Naples are looking at my ass the same way they were looking at Julie’s ass and I think they are gay or either you are paying them to look at my ass Blow Fish what are you doing with my Russian gangsters that are working under my cloak of protection?
Blow Fish: Maybe they are staring at your cloak of protection that you are wearing or maybe they think your butt is getting too big if they are looking at your ass the way they were looking at Julie’s big ole butt or maybe they read the blog and heard me say you are turning gay by sending me naked photos of yourself and I need to cover my ass Geno so hold on please.
Connie: So I was saying my husband wouldn’t like that you know I am still married in real life don’t you?
Blow Fish: Yes I do and I am glad you brought that criminal up I was going to tell you to warn him he might get caught up in the big round up that I am planning where the shit will be hitting the fan and don’t want you to get caught up in the cross fire.
Connie: Why would my husband get caught in the crossfire?
Blow Fish: Not him, his shit would be hitting the fan and you would be getting hit by the shit that is in the cross fire.
Connie: So if I am in the shit that is flying around from the fan that is blowing shit then what am I missing here?
Blow Fish: I think you just called me Blow Shit again and that is not my name and I want you to call me Mr Blow Job.
Connie: Well my husband wouldn’t like that either so what the hell is this about a crossfire of shit hitting the fan?
Blow Fish: Let me take a caller go ahead Dr. Feel Good and I need to explain who this is see when Bubba didn’t have teeth which was his whole life until a year ago Dr Feel Good who always feels good and a good friend gave him such a good deal on new teeth that I guess Bubba’s Mama must have paid for them and that conversation probably went like this…
Bubba’s Mama From New York City: Bubba if I give you this money for teeth are you going to take care of them because you didn’t take care of the last set I gave you and so if I give you a new set why do you think that they will last longer that the last set?
Bubba: I didn’t abuse the last set Mama I just didn’t know that crack would do that to my teeth and before I knew it I was in jail and locked up and looked in the mirror and my teeth where gone, see I cussed out a cop for taking my crack away from me that I was smoking and I know that’s stupid but I did it and so he got pissed off and locked me up for a year and now I am off the crack and only snort it and drink beer and fireballs and smoke pot when I can find some laying around that no one is watching like when Mr. Ball has some because everything he has that I take from him I consider to be ill gotten gain and a God sent to me so it is a biblical thing when I do get some drugs because it’s few and far between so when I do take his ill gotten gain from him I am really doing him a favor because he has more than he knows what to do with and is just smoking it to fast and I am really just doing him a favor.
Bubbas Mama in New York City and Not In Heaven: What the hell are you babbling about and what just happened to my caller id Bubba. I am alive and not dead in Heaven.
Bubba: That’s just Mr. Ball fucking with you Mama see its what he does he does this and it draws attention to the blog he writes and then people in New York City will be reading the blog about me smoking crack again and ruining my new teeth and walking up to you in a fancy restaurant and asking I hear that worthless piece of shit son of yours is smoking crack again on Where Is Wayne Ball which is a fancy blog where nothing is real and just bull shit Mama so see he is fucking with me about smoking crack again or snorting it in my car in the Pompano Joe’s parking lot where the Po Po can find me in the car that you gave me that you didn’t need anymore because you live in New York City and its too expensive to keep a car there and so you let me drive it instead of selling it or putting it in storage.
Bubba’s Mother From New York and Not From That Other Place That’s Harder to Get Into: Now what the hell is that about now it sounds like I am in hell Bubba?
Bubba: Now I think he is giving me shit for stealing the pot that he left laying around to set me up because I steal stuff that people leave laying around like Billy Bob does over in Pensacola which is where I am suppose to be helping him move the blog to but I am drinking beer and getting stoned all day which is all I ever do and some crack would be lovely about now and yes it would and he is giving me shit about that and so maybe he is off my ass and on Billy Bob’s ass.
Billy Bob: Boy we would kill your ass if you stole drugs over here so why don’t you just load your ass up and come over to Pensacola with the blog and we will feed you ass to the fucking sharks after we stab you with the fish fillet knife and throw your ass off the back of the sport fishing boat so we are talking about a red snapper fishing trip if you’re interested?
Bubba: Mama I gotta go Mr. Ball’s friend Mr. Billy Bob has invited me to go fishing for Red Snapper and those are the pink fishies that Petie and I mean Pete likes to catch when I am fishing with him and he is the captain in charge and I am the mate and have no control of what the catch is so I gotta go Mama and I do appreciate the new teeth and I am trying to stay off the crack and the heroin too and Mr. Ball thinks someone is going down for talking about a heroin distribution and an outbreak so watch out someone.
Bubba’s Mama in That Place That Requires a Membership to Get In: Bubba I think Blow Fish knows I belong to a S & M Club in Largo FL and trying to set us up so watch out.
Billy Bob: Now come over boy and we will take you out bottom fishing and you bring the bait or you will be the bait and we are waiting here at the dock for you so where are you?
Bubba: Now why did you have to go and confuse me for I know I was on my way to Mr. Ball’s boat at the Destin Yacht Club and then the beer store and then I don’t know where I am or was going and will just have to sit down and smoke a joint and have a beer and think this over for awhile.
Dr. Feel Good: Bubba you dumb ass I am waiting on you to come back with my golf cart and my 12 pack of beer and my change from the twenty I gave you this morning and it is almost 3 pm and Happy Hour at the Tiki Bar at Pompano Joe’s so hurry up and lets get going or we will miss all the fun and all the cheap 50 cent beer.
Bubba: I didn’t know it was happy hour and have lost my track of time and your change and where is the key to the golf cart?
Dr. Feel Good: Boy you can’t hold on to anything without losing it, you lose your wallet, your keys, your pot I mean your shit and you are always losing your shit.
Jeff Drunk Coonass: And yes I am and if that was about me losing my shit I have taken my daily crap and headed to the Tiki Bar at Pompano Joes for the Happy Hour so meet me there Bubba.
Dr. Feel Good: Have you found the keys to my golf cart and bringing me my 12 pack of beer and my change Bubba?
Blow Fish: That reminds me of a new segment that I am starting on the Big Show called Lost and Found and that would be what you have Lost and what I Found which would be the shit you Lost like your girl friend or your pot that Bubba has Found so check back in to find your missing girlfriend that you Lost and I Found and not giving her back Steve, Charles’ Little Bitch because she loves me and hates you because you make her work and her Big Ole Boobs make her knees hurt when she works and when I am screwing her she doesn’t have to work and her knees don’t hurt because her big Old Boobs that I tittie fuck and then cum in her face which she loves and then laps that shit up and she loves my sperm but hates yours because she says it tastes bad and I guess that is because of all the horrible food you eat at work at Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang where you are the cook and not the chef because they ain’t got no chef or any food worth eating so check back in on the Restaurant Review where we will be discussing how the food at Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang makes your cum taste like shit just like Steve the cook because the food taste like dog shit and I have a witness to testify to that fact and will share that later and you won’t get another blow job so if you like getting blow jobs don’t eat there and all the employees are Hillbilly Gays and all their dicks taste like shit according to Kimmy and maybe you have been screwing them and turning Hillbilly Gay, you aren’t wearing a ball cap and a restaurant T-shirt and blue jeans are you and of course you are and that must be why Kimmy wants me and my cum on her face and she really does love that just ask her and not your cum on her face Hillbilly Gay Steve, Gay Charles Little Bitch so check back in and hear what the special is at Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang today in the Restaurant Review.
Kimmy the Evil Whore in the Hillbilly Fag Gang: I do love your cum in my face Blow Fish and I lap it up with my tongue and want more and I can meet you at your boat right now wherever it is and will tell Steve I am at home and he won’t know I am lying because he can’t prove it and I want you on your boat so can I meet you at your boat right now so I can I meet you at your boat over and over and over and over…
Terri Lynn: Honey I thought that was something special that you only did with me and that sounds so romantic that I will head to you boat right now and if that evil whore Kimmy is there I will fuck her up and call the US Army National Guard out on her and her Gang of Hillbilly Fags from the Harbor Dock and lock them up as the criminals that they are against the local people of Okaloosa County and Destin Fl and the outlaying areas because it is a felony to put drugs in someone’s drink and they could loose their liquor license and they probably will if you let them drug you.
Kimmy the Evil Whore: I can be there in 5 minutes all I have to do is call Steve and tell him my knees are hurting because of my big ole tits and I am laying down for a nap and take my panties off I will be wet by the time I get to your boat because I want you so bad so don’t get in my way bitch or you will be getting what Blow Fish got and will be arrested for a Dui after the Hillbilly Fags drug you and then set up at the next place you go and the police arrest you and lock you up for a year so don’t cross me bitch.
Terri Lynn: That’s it I am calling Maurice and he is calling the Governor and we are all headed to Destin FL to put an end to The Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang and you Evil Whore once and for all and I want all his cum on my face it better not be on your face when I get there Kimmy you fucking evil bitch.
Gay Charles Gay Leader of the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang: Wow I think I have a bigger caller id than Dan the Big Ole Fag and he will be jealous as hell so hold on I want you whores to calm down this is getting out of hand and I have found that you Lesbos are nothing put trouble and have gotten rid of all my whore employees and replaced them with Hillbilly Fags which are much easier to control especially when you get a free blow job from them if they want a job and then another if they want to keep there job so I prefer the Hillbilly Fag employees so I am done with you whores and getting rid of both of you.
Terri Lynn: Now if you are wanting a blow job that is my specialty and I will start and then take it our of my mouth and say just leave it hanging out and I will finish in a minute and ask for my money and then forget too finish it and leave it hanging out of your breaches and then just walk away so if you’re looking for a blow job I can help you out there.
Kimmy: All the Hillbilly Fags dicks taste like shit sugar and if I were you I won’t put one in my mouth I know I don’t anymore and now Steve has turned Hillbilly Fag so he ain’t getting no blow job from me or my pussy either he just fucks me in the ass and all the Hillbilly Fags think that asshole is better than pussy so if I were you I would not put a Hillbilly Fag dick in my mouth and the cum taste like shit too because the food at the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang your Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin FL taste like Dog Shit and makes their cum taste the same just like shit so I am warning you again Blow Fish’s ass is mine and I will sic Jackie on your ass if you cross me.
Ms Jackie: Kimmy you Evil Fucking Stupid Whore I have warned you to call me Ms Jackie and have told you time and time again that Blow Fish is in love with me and only wants my Chinese pussy so stay away from him and let Gay Charles deal with that bitch Terri Lynn and he will call the Governor too and we will have them all locked up in the slammer and they will not cause us anymore trouble and that’s how it is done her in Destin at the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang and we let the police deal with them and we just say no comment and that’s is our last word Terri Lynn you better watch your ass and do as you are told or you will be in the County Jail for a year and that is our final word and your last warning and I have no comment and am going back to smoking cigarettes in the parking lot and I expect no more interruptions!
Terri Lynn: We will see about that bitch I will rain Holy Terror on your ass so keep away from Blow Fish he loves me and I am his Honey and his cum will only be splattered on my face and I will be the only one lapin it off with my tongue because I want all his cum and you bitches can go to hell!
Gay Charles the Gay Leader of the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang: Well I don’t know about that I may want some of that cum on my face too that sounds good as hell and I may just call my Little Bitch Steve to come in here and I will squirt my cum in his face and make him lick it off and he will have to if he wants to keep his job or I will fire hire him and I will say that he stole from me and I fired him because he had done it before and I caught him doing it again and then let Blow Fish Squirt his cum in my face and I will lick it up. It sounds delicious the way you whores keep going on and on about it and making me horney as hell for a blow job.
Terri Lynn: I just said I want all his cum on my face and …
Ms Jackie: Look both of you better leave him the hell alone, his ass and his cum is Ms Jackie’s so back the fuck off or I will fuck you both up.
Gay Charles the Gay Leader of the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang: Jackie I will fire your ass and say it was because you were stealing from me and so on and so forth and where are you right now? Smoking cigarettes in the parking lot and who the hell are you to tell me what to do and you have given Blow Fish tens of thousands of dollars of free food and alcohol and have hired women to work as bartenders just so he would come in to see them so you could hit on him and paid employees overtime to follow him around at night and taken our cook Steve my little bitch out of the kitchen and paid him to follow Blow Fish around and for what reason just to control him because you haven’t had sex with him because your idea of sex or what gets you off is taking sex away from men because you are a Dominatrix Queen and a Chinese Dragon Woman with a cigarette in your mouth and all your cigarette smoking in the parking lot so I may just fire your Chinese Dragon Dominatrix Queen ass if you get smart and tell me what to do again so I will have him squirt his cum in my face if I want to and I will replace your whore ass which a Hillbilly Fag that will do as I say and give me a blow job when I ask for it just like Hillbilly Fag Steve my Little Bitch so you better put out that cigarette and get back inside and tell me where my profits are going because the money isn’t making it into the bank and Steve says it’s your fault so your ass is on the line so get back to me in the morning with an answer to my question.
Ms Jackie Chinese Dragon Dominatrix Queen: I will get on it Charles and I still say his ass is mine but I am getting that information ready for you as soon as I finish this cigarette and Ok I am going in now.
Bow Fish: Well there you have it on the Restaurant Review for today the cum at the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang is splattered all over your face and it taste like Dog Shit just like the food and it came from an employee so its an inside job and that would be the cum splattered on your face is being splattered inside the restaurant by a Hillbilly Fag like Hillbilly Fag Steve, Charles Little Bitch and that is the same person or gay Charles the Leader of the Hillbilly Fags of the Harbor Dock Gang your Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin where the cum splattered on your face and the food both taste like Dog Shit from the Hillbilly Fags Gang. And so let me check the Google search and see if that is coming up yet at the top of the Google search for Sushi in Downtown Destin and it is number 5 but it does come up at the top of the list under Gay Destination in Destin FL and right there it says “and the cum splattered on your face is being splattered inside the restaurant by a Hillbilly Fag like Hillbilly Fag Steve, Charles Little Bitch and that is the same person or Gay Charles the Leader of the Hillbilly Fags of the Harbor Dock Gang your Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin” and Charles has restaurants in Georgia that I will be giving my unappreciated Restaurant Review of soon and I know that will be unappreciated and I will have an announcement tomorrow about a new Craft Beer that the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang is about release for public consumption and the Hillbilly Fags will be featuring their own Micro Brewed Craft Beer and tomorrow I will announce the Grand Opening of their Craft Beer Brewery in Destin FL right on the Big Dick which is actually a deck and not a dick but they call it that on the radio and its sounds so nasty and when my children hear that I have to explain that theses Hillbilly Fags are just so nasty and they think calling a deck a dick is so funny and it probably sounds better to them but it is just disgusting behavior and that’s why they are called such nasty faggot people.
Dan the Big Ole Faggot: I think I am jealous of Gay Charles name and I need a bigger caller id like him and I am in on this new Craft Beer and I assume it is brewed by Hillbilly Fags and served from their ass cheeks and on the Big Dick which is a deck and not a deck but sounds so much better to be on a dick than on a deck and I will bring Gay Scot with me so just let me know when the Grand Opening is cause we are in on this evite and we are bringing all our Gay Friends from Atlanta and it is the Gay Capital of the World.
Blow Fish: Would you assholes stop ruining my big announcements that’s for tomorrow’s show so listening Faggots in Atlanta there is a big ole Gay Destination for Sushi and Craft Beer coming up and I am announcing it on tomorrow’s Big Show. How’s it going Bubba?
Bubba: I have been so busy trying to help you Mr. Ball and you son of a bitch you didn’t pay me for the beer I picked up for you to give to me while I worked or the gas money you promised me or the time I spent this morning trying to help you move the blog and its not my problem if you changed your mind I still need my day’s wage so you have ripped me off big time and the Troll warned me and I didn’t listen.
Troll: I told you he doesn’t pay his employees he spends all his money on shots and he is having a party at the Cabana Bar so show up and he will buy all my drinks because I work for him and I will put your drinks on my tab which is his tab and all my friends drinks which is everyone’s drinks in the bar so he pays for everyone’s drinks when he buys my drinks because I am the Troll and hang out under bridges and wait for tourist to walk over and I come up and steal their shit and you do too Bubba so we will rip him off at the Cabana Bar so I will see you then.
Bubba: I will be there and everything I get from Mr. Ball is all ill gotten gain of his and it is my hard earned money because I work hard for it and he makes so much money it is like it is his ill gotten gain and has more than he needs anyway.
Blow Fish: You can just stay at home Troll you are no longer thieving from me either at work or in the bars so leave your lying ass at home or go to jail with the rest of the bystanders out on the drug dealer patio because I am calling the police and telling them the drug dealers are out there as usual and tell that crack dealer Theo as well to stay away from my party or you are all going to jail.
Bubba: Those are my friends and you are always running off my friends the crack dealers and the prostitutes and I have seen you out there so are you are a prostitute or a crack dealer I mean you were out there on the patio at the Cabana Bar where the drug dealers hang out and make deals and you were out there too so you must be one or the other either a whore or a dealer one of the other Ha ha!
Bubba’s Mother from New York City Not From Heaven But the Other Place: Bubba I told you to stay away from the crack dealers when I bought you those teeth so just give me the money back or the teeth back until you learn your lesson and stop driving my car and drive you pick em up truck until further notice and I mean it Bubba.
Bubba: Well I know you mean it Mama but the teeth are little harder to take out and that is really not feasible at all at this time and would be costly so Mr. Ball has told the Crack Dealers and the Prostitutes and wait it was just the Crack Dealers to stay away from his party so I should be safe there Mama and will be a good little Bubba and hopefully get a freebee from a drunked up Prostitute or Stacy with an I.
Bubbas Mama from New York City at the S&M Club in Largo FL: Now what the hell is this about? How does Mr. Ball know that I frequent an S & M Bar in Largo FL did you tell him Bubba that I go there and I told you that as a travel tip and it’s a private club I just told you to go there on Vacation and use my membership to get in?
Bubba: No Mama I never said a word maybe he has surveillance cameras installed in there and saw you when you were there and is taping from next door or something.
Bubbas Mama from New York City at the S&M Club in Largo FL: Then I am getting out of here before this place gets raided and I get my photo in the newspaper for being involved with kiddie porn and my name is ruined in New York City.
Blow Fish: Now why would you think your name would be ruined in New York City because you were involved in the filming and distribution of Kiddie Porn in Largo FL?
Bubbas Mama from New York City at the S&M Club in Largo FL: Because I am an attorney and I cannot risk my license being taken because I am involved in kiddie porn anywhere.
Gene Luciano: Why are you on this subject I have shown you the young girls in my gang that are being raised to be my new porn stars and we both know they are 14 years old so what the hell are you doing with this issue?
Blow Fish: Everything isn’t about you I will deal with you when I get to Miami on your Miami based porn business that you shouldn’t be involved in you just want to watch the filming of kiddie porn with Marty the Rooster and don’t care if you even turn a dime you pervert.
Gene Luciano: There is big money in kiddie porn these days Blow Fish so just stay out of it and I do not see what harm there is in kiddie porn I am giving these young women a chance to be stars and they love it.
Blow Fish: Bull shit there are thousands of kiddie porn stars as you call them and I call them the victim of a porn producer and the movies aren’t selling and its not art so tell Marty the Rooster that he is going down I know where you are filming and its too costly to move because you aren’t making any money just going over there to get turned on watching the taping and having sex with your whores and your kiddie porn stars while you are over there and its what a tax shelter for a business that is already a money laundering business for a racketeer?
Gene Luciano: There’s that word you like so go ahead it will never stick you just show that picture of my asshole on the internet ….
Blow Fish: Hate to cut you off but thanks for the approval or the consent to show your photo on the internet that’s all I was waiting for and please snip off your ball sack and send me another photo on my phone with no balls and I will show it so you won’t be embarrassed by the whole world seeing your ball sack hanging down to your knees and get ready I am headed back down to Naples, I am almost finished here I just need a car dealer and I will be good to go.
Peter Moore of Peter Moore Chevrolet: Blow Fish if this is about me just don’t start on my Peter again I have Chevrolets I need to move today and why haven’t you changed my name so my customers do not know who I am and I am in the middle of a card game and trying to get out of this hole I am in?
Blow Fish: Peter you’ll just have to read back I am not repeating myself but thanks for calling in but I did just have a call on the other line from Sandy Sansing with Sandy Sansing Chevrolet and he said that you are still saying your new Chevrolet prices are lower than his and you are both bound by a fixed bottom dollar price that you cannot go below and your prices can’t be lower than his so please stop saying you have a lower price on new Chevrolet and I did change your name to protect your indignity. I added a letter to the end of it so no one will know who Peter is and so stop your whining, you are sounding like that whining Martin Levin attorney turned priest then turned gay enthusiast.
Peter Moore: Sure whatever let’s just finish this so I can get back to my poker game and I will take care of it and my legal name is Peter so you have got to change it, Pete is my nick name so add something to it please. I’m playing cards with Deano and Fredo and Martin oh my God is Gay?
Blow Fish: OK I will make your name shorter but are you winning?
Peter Less: I’m not saying because I know you will squeal on me to my Mrs. and then she will cut me off and I will give in and then you will make a fool of me again in public so no comment and why am I now Mr. Less? My customers will know it’s me because of the Peter first name so please change it before you ruin my business.
Blow Fish: Good choice keeping your mouth shut about all the money you have lost and about being indebted to Deano and Fred Levin who Deano is indebted to and you are the one ruining your business and they will be taking it over if you don’t start winning and pay them off and how is the Mrs?
Dick Less: Again no comment I have nothing to say that I want to hear my neighbors talking about that they have read on the internet and now I am Dick Less and that’s not accurate, I am hung like a God you just ask the Mrs. And stop spreading rumors that I have lost so much money gambling lately that I may loose my car dealerships to Fred Levin and Martin Levin isn’t gay his father Fred Levin is right here and says that he is looking at a new business venture that will keep him in town closer to his wife and kids so he can’t be gay if he’s a family man anyway just like we all thought you were gay because you were screwing all our girlfriends and so I gotta get back to getting out of this gambling hole that I dug myself into and maybe I can borrow some money from your Greenburg cousin to pay down the principal or at least to pay the vig or payoff my marker that Deano is holding over my head like a guillotine.
Pete Moore’s Pussy: Pete what is going on and why are you spreading these lies about yourself all over the internet if Sandy Sansing hears all this crap he is going to start calling you the liar that you are again and I need my name changed and do not make it less and Pete you know that with all the steroids you have taken you are not Moore of a man you are Less of a man so just leave his name the way it is but please give me more.
Blow Fish: I heard you were filing for divorce and going sailing with me on the new boat that Dick Less just bought for us.
Dick Less: I doubt that I told her no more expenditures until I make some money playing cards and I got to get back to this game and try to break even somehow or I will never be able to keep my dealerships so I gotta go thanks for nothing asshole.
Blow Fish: You are taking the news well that your wife is now on my new boat that you paid for and we are sailing off on my Tiki Bar Tour together so we will just say goodbye gambling loser and sucker from hell.
Moore Pussy: That’s right Dick Less and its no wonder that you are loosing your car dealerships to Fred Levin and Martin is going to run them so he can stay in town to be closer to his family while your family is now on a slow boat to China with Blow Fish who is twice the man you will ever be thanks to Bai Coconut Water in his pants where you have nothing in your pants but a wonder less wonder and because you ain’t got nothing in his pants for sure.
Dick Less Wonder: I wonder why I am even responding to that bullshit I have got to get back to the game and will deal with this load of bullshit later.
Moore Pussy Than You Can Handle: Wow now that’s more like it. Hey Dick Less Wonder look I told you I was more than you can handle!
Dick Less Wonder: I am about to break even I hope and Fred Levin is playing his hand and there he goes and so do I, I just lost it all and now my business is being divided up by Fred Levin giving my dealerships to Martin to run and Deano who is going to have me beat up daily until I pay my marker down and pay the vig at least to save my life and how can I do that when Deano is black mailing me and telling everyone in town that I have no money and running me out of town and I think he is taking his orders from Fred Levin who must be his boss man and his financier and now it looks like I am working for Martin Levin who is now a Car Dealer and I’m working for Dean Braid to pay off my debt because he doesn’t stop charging be the vig until I pay off the principal and Deano owes Fred and now Fred owns me and I am being stretched so thin that I can’t pay anyone and I am no good to anyone. I am ruined by my own stupidity for gambling with Fred Levin and Dean Baird so I am gone forever you won’t hear from me anymore because people keep disappearing when they can’t pay Deano and I am gone just like them and so fare well sweet world and I am gone and leaving town and my wife is left me for Blow Fish you son of a bitch give me back my sweetie why are you always taking my women away from me?
Blow Fish: So that’s what happens when you mess with Deano he will ruin you and run you out of town and soon we will look at what Gulf Breeze UMC did to me when I set them up by calling a female church member on the phone as a joke when the Office Manager had told me not to and I set them up and they had me baker acted for attending church so if you are going thru a divorce and you think that Gulf Breeze UMC will be supportive while you are going thru a hard time then don’t tell them because they will run you out of town because you might make them look bad and I haven’t made them look bad yet but I will when people start reading the blog and hear that Gulf Breeze UMC will lock you up just like a gangster will to shut you up and that’s what they did and the pastor runs the church like a big ole gangster that locks you up when you don’t follow directions just like the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang and soon I am going to set them up again at their Thursday night party at their Party on the Big Dick that’s a deck but they are all such nasty Gay Hillbillies Fags that think Big Dick sounds better than deck and they will be having a Gay Hillbilly Party when I throw my famous Blow Fish Shot Party on the Big Dick at Harbor Docks run by Gay Charles the Gay Leader of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang so check back in as I can plan that affair or Gay Affair and a Gay Destination for Sushi and Craft Beer in Downtown Destin is what you will find on the Google search and Gay Charles son Eddie and the Gay General Manager of the Hillbilly Fags Gang had asked me if I could help them with my architectural design styles to come up with a new concept for their Party on the Big Dick because no one shows up for their Party on the Big Dick on Thursday night anymore except the usual group on drug dealers and prostitutes and so those sales are falling off and they do not know what to do and Gay Charles is busy with his Gay Destinations for Sushi and Gay Prostitution in Georgia and just doesn’t give a shit about the situation and so I have their new concept for their Party on the Big Dick and the Grand Reopening of the Big Dick is coming up so tune back in for that on the Big Show when I shove their Big Dick right up Gay Charles asshole in their Google search where you will find Gay Charles up in Atlanta in a Gay Brothel with a Big Dick shoved right up his ass the way he likes it on the Google search so watch for that on the Google search soon.
Terri Lynn: I was waiting on an opportunity to say that until you stay away from Connie I will not be seeing you or attending any of your parties so are you going to obey me this time I am setting a boundary here and you better not cross it or me or I will open a can of whoop ass on you and ruin your party for good and you will not even be able to get there at all for all the trouble that I will cause down there so that is your final warning and what a nice bunch of friends you have and they sound like they really know how to have fun with all the beer they drink and you know I don’t drink beer just wine and vodka and a little tequila so if you ever want to serve me a shot like you do your friends in the sleepy little beach town of Miramar Beach but you never do and the last time you refused to buy me a shot like you bought everyone else I just showed the bartender my big ole plastic titties and then he made me a shot and I drank it and then walked to the bathroom and opened the bathroom door and hit myself in the head with the door and gave myself a black eye and my mother said you are responsible for me giving myself a black eye and you told her that I was responsible for my own alcoholism and so I guess that’s why you never buy me a shot like you buy all your friends and why do you always move to these quiet little beach towns where there is nothing going on I do not know and so I am off and will watch for no further contact between you and that Connie bitch white trash rich whore.
Connie: I was wondering if she would ever shut up.
Blow Fish: She doesn’t care what I have to say anyway it is always an ultimatum about the way she feels or what’s to feel or the way she wants me to feel about the way I do what I do is never the way she wants me to do and you know one time she told me that I spend all my money on toys and travel and told me to stop buying toys and buy her a big ole mansion with the money that I spend on toys alone and I said I don’t think that sounds like as much fun as buying toys and I said I think I will just go chase lobster for 10 days and I will be incommunicado until then and that was the last conversation that we had about the spending of my money by me and then I cut her off and she has just cut me off again after years so I guess she just doesn’t get the fact that I left her ass in Roswell and moved to Naples to set up Geno and then moved to Destin and set up Randy Fucking You Over Gibson and Harbor Docks and the whole damn town while I was at it and then I moved to Panama City and set up a kiddie porn producer and drug dealers and then to St Pete and set up all the bars and restaurants and Clubs and Porn Businesses and then moved to Key West and set up the Bars and the Restaurants and the drug dealers and smugglers and then to Miami and Ft Lauderdale and then to Boca Raton and then to West Palm Beach and then up to Palm Gardens and then back to Atlanta and set up a big ole gangster and he has crews in Destin and Pensacola and Columbus and all over the Sate of Georgia and now I am blogging about that and then running back around and picking up the pieces and the only thing is I have help because I don’t get over extended like Dick Less no more and neither does he because he is just about to be beaten to death by Deano and his crew who are really working him and his business over because when you can’t pay Deano he doesn’t just beat you up he works over your whole life so you are ruined just like Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang and I will be back on them with the blog as soon as I have time but right now lets take a caller about my party which is coming up and go ahead Connie.
Connie: Would you please stop that shit when I call in or I will stop calling you at work and wait until you aren’t so busy.
Blow Fish: Sorry Honey but I am working so I will see you at the party and tell your husband to watch the kids so you can come over and spend the night at my Miramar Beach House go ahead caller.
Blue Balls: She is married and you are so full of yourself you little Short Shit.
Martin Levin: I spoke to my father about this gambling segment and we are calling the governor and shutting you down so you better watch out and I guess that Short Shit comment was directed at me and not you.
Blue Balls: Martin Levin I mean Mr. Levin or Mr. Martin Levin I was talking to Blow Fish not you sir I would never say that to you sir.
Blow Fish: She thinks I’m a short shit because that’s what she calls people shorter than her even though she and I are the same height but she means no disrespect that’s just the way the child of an abusive alcoholic parent treat other people and she is a lazy Escambia County Employee making $37K a year when she deserves $20K a year but she didn’t approve the budget. So Martin I have spoken with the Governor of Florida and Georgia and possibly Alabama if need be and I have their approval to have anyone arrested that I want so you better tell Fred Levin your daddy to watch his ass or he will be baling himself out with a signature bond and I am sure going home without his principal and vig or interest and collecting on his markers and so on and so forth and how is the car business? Are you changing the name to Martin Motors or keeping the Dick Less Motors name because it fits?
Martin Levin Motors: Now stop that I am not a car dealer yet that was just an idea I had to stay closer to home and I know you have a good car dealer joke so go ahead and tell it and please no derogatory racial slurs please and keep it short you have the longest jokes with the longest detailed intros I have ever heard so go ahead give it a shot without all the details and taking pot shots at me.
Blow Fish: I’m not joking around with you Shorty! Your father saved me 2 million dollars one time and I am paying him back by saying stay at home or you are going to get arrested so there I won’t say it again. I have just given him a 2 million clue so ignore it and continue and you will be sorry and I know you will but we are now even and when I come back to Pensacola on this my Tiki Bar Tour as I sail around the Coast of Florida setting up crooks, consider yourself Shorty and your father set up and I warned you and the punch line is if the pig and cow won’t sleep in the barn with the car dealer then why would the Jew and the Gentile? You take all the fun out of everything Shorty and I guess you are keeping the Dick Less Motors name because it fits the new management.
I want to remind you that this is a fantasy blog designed for entertainment that is based on fact where the names have been changed to protect the innocent unless you are guilty as hell and then I give you a name like Martin and you know I love you brother and trying to protect you with this my freedom of speech protected by the 5th amendment of the US Constitution and just a bunch of bullshit that’s being thrown at the wall to see what sticks and not you Blue Balls you protect and serve no one so send your cops to a class that teaches them that as they are arresting you and throwing your ass in the slammer that they are actually serving and protecting you and not throwing you into a legal system that is a big old money pit and I have never seen so many people caught up in a legal system like they are in Escambia County Pensacola FL which is one of the poorest counties in Fl with a bunch of white trash citizens that are hooked on cocaine and alcohol and so I am going back to Destin to finish up with Bubbas there and when I get back I want to see We Are Here to Serve and Protect written on the Police and Sheriff cars with vinyl letters and not written with a black sharpie, bunch of cheap assholes and so lets see the local county employee’s pay cut and taught how to serve and protect and not just screwing each other in their offices in the court house during work hours and you know who you are or should I start making a list here on the blog and start telling how the public defenders office works and it works like this. Meet me in my office and let’s screw on my desk! That’s what goes on in your pubic defenders office because they are so bored with pushing paper instead of defending their poor clients and why the hell did you go to law school if all you want to do is have sex at work? Oh yea it’s because who the hell gets paid to screw fellow employees at work? That would be the entire legal system in Escambia County FL. You are all screwing each other and the tax payers and the local government so stop screwing each other over and get back to fucking serving and protecting the public and I have a caller and I recognize this caller id. I met this weirdo woman on Match.com where I set her up if you know what I mean because she is sweet as can be and nothing wrong with her it’s her daddy I have a problem with or someone has a problem with him and asked me to take a look see so I did and I am setting him up and found his daughter on Match.com and set her up and she is calling in to try and find my ass and let’s see what’s up go ahead caller.
Ms Cuvee: Blow Fish cut the bull shit and don’t leave me hanging on hold or I will tell my daddy and he will kill you deader than shit!
Blow Fish: Well darling I do not know what you mean I thought we had a date for later and I would just give you the usual Blow Fish pussy eating fuckfest for hours on end and you would be happier that shit and have a shit eating grin on your face and lay there quivering and you when you have to leave just say this is the worst part about the whole affair having to leave and I have another caller please hold darling.
Terri Lynn: Now I know this is all about me and that is how I feel after having sex with you and miss that feeling and you and I know I said no more communication until you stopped seeing Connie but now you are on Match.com trying to replace me and I just do not like that but no like the thought of me laying there in your bed quivering and smiling and being so content and happy with my brains fucked out of my head all over the place and …..
Blow Fish: I have another caller please hold.
Journel: I want to know who this Ms Cuvee is and what kind of fucking name is that and so on your way home would you please pickup some shampoo so I can get your sperm out of my hair it has been in there for 2 days and it is now like glue or epoxy and I can not brush it out and have tried putting my hair in my mouth and sucking on it to loosen it up but it is stuck like harder than shit on the side of my head so please pick that up and anything else that you need and if you forget anything just leave me a note and I will pick it up tomorrow afternoon and have it here for you when you come home and hurry I am hungry and will be making us a dinner reservation so you better hurry up cause I have to wash my hair and just remember the brand of shampoo I use because I would hate for you to have to make 2 trips and get some Margarita mix as well because we are running low and hurry up I am hungry.
Terri Lynn: We have Margarita mix here so just ignore that shit and get your ass over here Honey and we will sit down and discuss this whole mess about Connie for about a minute and then go fuck my brains out again so I can lay there afterwards with not a thought in my head becasue you have fucked my brains out again and that is where I want to me with you so hurry up and ignore that Journel bitch and come on!
Marla the Killer Hitwoman: Blow Fish I can not find your boat in the Ft Lauderdale Los Olas Marina where you usually keep it so please give me a call back so I can find out where you are and never mind Geno Luciano is on the other line and must be updating me as to your location so I can find you and kill you again so call me back I will talk to you then and we can sit down and talk this whole thing over a cup of coffee and then go to your boat and you can fuck the living shit out of my big ole asshole that looks like the asshole of a farm animal or a deer as it runs away through the woods as Zac Brown and what a lovely southern gentleman he is and describes it as he is nailing it as he says and so call me back.
Zac Brown: Buddy Roo my colored girls kids where here in the living room sitting on the floor around the radio and heard that and thought a deer was in the front yard and went running outside to see it so please try to hold down the profanity please there are children in the audience please and do not send that Marla the Killer Hitwoman back my way I thought she would never leave and so I will just get the kids back in the house cause there are no deer running thru the yard and yes there is one right now and I am going to get it for dinner so gotta get my gun and kill some dinner and then my colored girl will fix me some venison for dinner got to get going or I will miss this chance for some free meat.
Ms Cuvee: Was that about me because my Daddy always tells me not to talk to the customers at Cuvee because they all think it is like a meat market in here and I am just free meat to them and Cuvee Bistro is the place for fine meat and a meat market for free meat at Happy Hour so come to Cuvee Bistro meat market for some fine meat and my Daddy says I am like fine meat and fine wine and you can find that too At Cuvee Bistro the meat market for free meat and fine wine anytime but especially at the Happy Hour where Cuvee Bistro is a meat market and full of free meat and fine wine just like me and my Daddy says I am some fine meat and just like a fine wine which he controls and decides who gets which wine and who gets my pussy and that would be my Daddy becasue he is a Controlling Asshole Chef at the Cuvee Bistro where the Google search reads Cuvee Bistro is a meat market at Happy Hour and has free meat and fine fine just like me and my Daddy the Controlling Asshole Chef who doesn’t cook anything he just stands around deciding who gets what wine and who gets my pussy and that is no one but him becasue my Daddy is screwing me and getting me pregnant and making me get an abortion and the real Chef and kitchen Staff is at the Cabana Bar and Blow Fish is buying them rounds of shots and the real Chef and kitchen Staff are telling Blow Fish the Controlling Asshole Chef at Cuvee Bistro is screwing his own daughter and Blow Fish is buying them more free shots at the Cabana bar and the real Chef and the kitchen Staff are saying that the Controlling Asshole Chef and Owner of Cuvee Bistro and his daughter are like a married couple and actually think they are married and then drinking more Blow Fish Shots at the Cabana Bar and my Daddy is set up and so am I cause ain’t we white trash and when are you coming in so I can walk around in front of you continually showing you my cute butt so you can fantasize what it’s like to screw me in the butt right there as you eat your dinner and drink your fine wine and you know we have an extensive wine list but before you can get a glass or a bottle it has to be approved by Daddy the Controlling Asshole Chef because he controls everything there including my pussy and he decides who gets what wine or which wine and my pussy and that would be only my daddy the Controlling Asshole Chef at Cuvee Bistro and that’s why I am a whining witch and so please come in and see me and I do mean soon because you have gotten me pregnant again and I am not aborting the baby this time and my Daddy will want to know who the father is and want to make sure he isn’t the father and if he is then I will have to get another abortion becasue the says we ain’t white trash but if my Daddy is fucking his daughter ain’t that white trash or is that just High Society Destin Fl and of course it is and all the kitchen Staff knows Daddy is screwing me and think that we are married and does that make us white trash and I guess it does if a Daddy has sex with his daughter and they are a married couple and of course it is but this is your baby and so I am telling my Daddy this is your baby so come see me before I get fatter than shit and you don’t like me anymore because I know you don’t like fat women and I had to loose a bunch of weight just to get you to speak to me and so call me or drop by Cuvee Bistro for some free meat because it is a meat market at Happy Hour and come see me for dinner and see you soon honey and can I call you Daddy now that I am pregnant?
Blow Fish: That Controlling Asshole Chef Daddy of yours at Cuvee Bistro a meat market at Happy Hour doesn’t like me darling but I will come in for my Restaurant Review real soon and I will see you then.
Terri Lynn: Now I know that is all about me because I am skinny as shit so you won’t dump my ass for a thinner woman and I am not fat so don’t say that or that other word which is skank and bitch whore and those are hurtful words and I can not believe you brought that up.
Stacy with an I: That’s about me Terri Lynn. I have junk in my trunk and he doesn’t like my big butt so we have never have sex but we are still good friends and he told me to call in when he said something about me so I am calling in.
Blow Fish: Well with all those interruptions I almost forget to call Triple A or AAA.
Hello my car is over in the public parking lot by the Destin Harbor and the license plate reads “Bale Chaser” on it and I need it towed over to AJ Lairds house on Beach Dr. please! If you would drop it off there I would appreciate it a bunch!
AAA Customer Service: Yes Sir Mr. Blow Fish thank you sir and thanks for your call.
Blow Fish: That should make for some good newspaper reading tomorrow morning!
So check in tomorrow when I move the blog back to Destin FL and we find out more about that Craft Beer Party that the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang has planned for the Grand Opening of the Hillbilly Fags Craft Beer Bar on the Big Dick which was my Creation of my own Exasperation and I will be invoicing them for that in the form of a consulting fee and then Gay Charles the Cheap Asshole faggot that he is will refuse to pay the invoice and I will be placing a lien on the entire Harbor Dock restaurant facility to cover my invoice and also the legal expenses that I have incurred due to the Hillbilly Fags Gang actions of throwing my ass in the slammer and legal fees and bond fees which are adding up with each assault they make and continue making on me just like Gene Luciano did in Naples and he owes me big time and a boat that he tried to steal and I will be there soon and we will find out what Randy Gibson is up to as an Over the Road Long Haul Semi Truck Driver and who is riding shotgun and his co-driver very soon and the location of the Bale Chaser’s Car and then I will finish up on the Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar Happy Hour which starts at 3 and not at 5 becasue they ain’t got shit to do but drink beer all day anyway and can’t wait till 5 to start drinking so why not just start at 3 pm so check back in tomorrow with their Sunset Festival that they have everyday of every week even if the sun don’t shine but the sun sets at 8:30 and they start drinking at 3 and then are so drunk they don’t even notice the sun has even set and we will be checking back in with Ms Cuvee and her Controlling Asshole Chef Daddy who is screwing his daughter and soon they will be invited to my Blow Fish Shot Party at the Cabana Bar where Chef Cuvee will join in the Heathanist Fuck Fest and you will be seeing him screwing his daughter in public and maybe your daughter too or maybe your son and maybe both of them at the same time and now I am giving away the whole surprise by talking about the next party at the Cabana Bar so check back in tomorrow to find out what you bunch of nasty and disgusting Redneck Riverians are up too and who is going to jail next so see you tomorrow when Petie the Bartender from the Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar will be saying Chef Cuvee your ass is turning from a medium well cooked fine cut of meat to a rare bloody asshole that looks more like a fine red wine and Randy Fucking You Over Gibson will be saying don’t waste that wine I can make a bottle last all morning Blow Fish you son of a bitch stop drinking my wine so fast and you have tracked sand into my beach house and the maid that I am fucking was just here and now I have to get her back out her!
Blow Fish: Well Randy Fucking You Over Gibson do you think I really give a flying fucking shit about you and your fucking wine and clean beach house floors and you know I don’t so I am Just Fucking You Over Randy Gibson so grin and bare it and bend over and take it like man Boy!