Well I am alive! It was a close one, see the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang got wind of the Blog and decided they wanted it down or me down or ran me down and took me out so they sent Kimmy the gang’s bartender whore out to track me down like the killer hit-woman she is. Then the Hillbilly Fags chased me all over God’s Green Earth for seven days straight but they are queer as hell in their shackled up pickem up trucks all of them dressed the same like the faggots they are wearing ball caps and restaurant T-shirts and blue jeans with shotguns flaring and tempers raged and peppered my tailgate while Kimmy was screaming kill him the whole time. But I have survived and here to tell the tale today on Day 7 of the Big Show and here’s how it all started….
When I first moved to Destin or to Miramar Beach to set Kimmy up, my first victim I walked into Pompano Joe’s on a Sunday night and had a Caesar Salad with Blackened Mahi Mahi on top and that is one of their better dishes and when you go in there and ask any employee what’s good they will answer you dishonestly because you asked what is good and that’s the Fried Jumbo Shrimp not the Popcorn Shrimp ignore that on any menu and ask for Big Ole Jumbo Fried Shrimp, fried right with no fries those are fating but just the shrimp with tartar sauce and add Tabasco to the tartar sauce and mix it up and I recommend that highly and then they also have the Best Seafood Gumbo in Destin only it doesn’t have raw oysters in it like the Oyster Bar in Pensacola FL which closed and the only location that’s open is out on Perdido Key FL on the same island as the Flora-Bama Lounge and Tiki Bar where Kenny and I witnessed a whole lot of food being thrown from one redneck Bubba to the other redneck Bubba and totally going to waste as they were trying to Save the Mullet by raising public awareness with a festival with the message being don’t kill the mullet but protect it and the Oyster Bar has beautiful Fried Jumbo Shrimp and Fried Crab Claws with the tartar sauce and Tabasco mixed up and a wonderful Blackened Yellowfin Tuna cooked rare or medium rare and soon we will look at what the Harbor Dock Gang does to a Yellowfin Tuna so they can sell it as a Ahi Tuna which they can’t catch in the Gulf of Mexico and if they can’t catch it in the Gulf then they just call it something else and that would be what you asked for and Pompano Joe’s tells their customers when they ask “What is good here?” and the servers and the bartenders and the bus boys and the Pompano Hoe’s and that would be all of the above say “Well the Reggae Rolls are popular” and that’s a lie they are the cheapest item on the menu for them to prepare and no one would order them if they knew any better and I have a call from there right now, go ahead Chef.
Chef Pompano Joe’s: I am about to throw out a bunch of chicken scraps trimmed off our chicken fingers and some mixed vegetables and I think I will fry them up in an egg roll and feed them to the Pompano Hoe’s in exchange for some of that Pompano Hoe Pussy and then get back to snorting coke in the kitchen and if they like these appetizers I will call them Reggae Rolls because I am Puerto Rican and not Jamaican so I think Reggae Rolls sounds better than Puerto Rican Rolls and then I will roll another joint and then another line of coke and then head out to the Tiki Bar for a free complimentary fireball shot from Petie the asshole expert or expert on the color of assholes and then back to the kitchen.
Blow Fish: Then he goes back to work and then you will not be eating the best quality restaurant food in Destin so watch what you order and say No Gracias to the Reggae Rolls and the Raw Oysters and the Grouper and I will tell you why later.
Troll: Chef I told you keep your mouth shut around by boss.
Chef Pompano Joe’s: Why he’s cool!
Troll: No he’s not he doesn’t pay his employees when they don’t work and has told me that numerous times so it is true and he buys shots with his profits instead of paying his employees to just stand around and stare off into to space which is what I do when I’m not fucking up and wasting raw material and getting lectures and fired and then given another chance and he is a blabber mouth on the internet and is up to something other than being or pretending to be a kitchen designer because he never works and we don’t know what it is but he just seems to buy shots at Tiki Bars for a living and is a blabber mouth so don’t say anything around my boss.
Blow Fish: As I was saying don’t order the Reggae Rolls they are made from scrapes in the kitchen that they are about to throw away unless you order them in a Reggae Roll and the Grouper sucks too and I will tell you why later so stick with the Fried Jumbo Shrimp and not the Popcorn Shrimp and the Gumbo but ask them to put some fresh oysters in the Gumbo and don’t order the Oysters on the Half Shell and if you do send them back and tell them you don’t like shorts and that’s shell fish that is too small and the only way you can buy small oysters is by being stupid or cheap or both, so no oysters on the half shell and hang around and we will call the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags and see what their oysters are looking like today and they are not there and they are never there and the oysters are gone for good see they might make you sick and they already have a menu full of other seafood items to make you sick so why should they add any other items that would just make you sicker.
So on my first visit to Pompano Joe’s to set them up in Destin FL, I walked into Pompano Joe’s on a Sunday night and met Kimmy and she was on me from the first minute she saw me and Pete the Bartender as I knew him then and now know him as Petie the asshole fucking Bartender and I guess he wanted to know the color of my asshole and came over to meet me and Kimmy chased him off and told him I was her friend and her customer and please stop interrupting her discussion about us having sex soon and then Cathy the bartender came over and tried to have sex with me because her husband has a back ache and doesn’t satisfy her anymore probably because he likes his pain medication more than her pussy and if you saw her pussy you would think boy that looks like some bad pussy and you would agree and I would need to be medicated if I was married to her as well and so go by and see these people and see what you think and comment up about whether you think Cathy or Kimmy have good pussy on Eat My Key Lime Pie Day and I won’t ruin it for you so you go see for yourself and then check back for I am announcing another special day and this is Petie’s Big Day on the Big Show and I know he is excited and can’t wait and it’s called Anal Sex Day or getting “Mud On The Tires” that’s the song of the day that day and that’s when Petie will be calling in describing your asshole and then having sex with your asshole right here on the Big Show and soon we will be looking at pain medication and Kiddy Porn in Panama City when I investigate that woman that looks like a man in the movie Dark Shadows that looks like Alice Cooper and those are two of Greenburg’s favorite characters from his Little Heathan childhood but we are not judging just investigating so we will take his call as soon as I finish this thought. So I met Kimmy and she was on me to fuck her from day one and if any woman like Cathy got close to me she would chase them off like an old hen and I was her rooster and soon the Long Arm of the Law will have her day on the Big Show and ask me to be her Dixie Chicken if she will be My Tennessee Lamb only she got it backwards as everything she says on the Big Show and I met her in Boca Raton where I was investigating a bar owner that has stolen one of my old girlfriends and is keeping her in his house and calling her is wife and so I had to explain to the Long Arm of the Law who’s the Rooster around here and who is my Lamb and my X Wife #2 thinks that song is about Pensacola Beach FL and she thinks the lyrics “Pensacola Beach Boardwalk” are in the song and Greenburg has issues with that too so hold on there you Little Heathan and so Kimmy and Cathy fought over me and Petie too because he wants me to stop screwing the Pompano Hoe’s but I haven’t screwed any of those lesbo whores but he screws them all and then fucks them in the ass and watches that young pink asshole turn brown as the has described it to me and I love to fuck with him so I can set him up because he set me up and tried to send to the slammer for a year for calling him Petie and haven’t I set you up Petie and how will you kill me today Petie and how will I screw you over today and that will be to tell your wife you are screwing Cathy the bartender everywhere she will let you and that would be every orifice on her body and so there we have it, screwed over again and so when Petie said he was going to have me arrested about a dozen different ways and then said “So do we have an understanding?” and that is how these Bubbas work, they have a discussion with you about what you are doing that they don’t like and they threaten to kill you and then you have to do as you were told and I said to him “Well Petie we will have to wait and see” and Petie said “What does that mean?” and now you know, fuck you Petie, I’m not your slave you are a fucking bartender that serves customers drinks and isn’t suppose to be threatening to kill them, you are the servant not me Petie and soon I will ask you to tune into the Fishing Report a daily fishing show and the stars of the show are none other than Petie and Bubba out fishing and calling in to report on the weather conditions and their success and the catch is always the same and it is Pink Fish as Bubba describes it because Bubba is so smart he only speaks in code about breaking the law and committing crimes because the President is listening in on our conversations and reading our text messages and our emails so he speaks in code so the President will never know what he is talking about and never arrest him and Bubba I think the President is reading this too so you better run and hide and I don’t know how many fish are in the Pink and how many in the Brown and I haven’t heard about any being Brown only Pink and those are called Red Snapper and they are endangered or restricted and they are seasonal but not for Petie and Bubba and so Petie will be calling in with the Poaching Report which is what he is the Poacher and he will be telling how many in the Pink and how many in the Brown and Bubba says 2 in the Pink and 1 in the Brown and that would be 2 in Stacey with an I’s pussy and 1 in Stacey with an I’s bilge and Petie’s are all in the Brown in the Pompano Hoe’s asshole and the Pink ones are Red Snappers and those are in the bilge of Petie’s boat so look there Fish and Wild Life Officers the Red Snapper are the catch of the day on Petie the Poacher’s boat every day and they are in the bilge and not in the cooler. So there are 2 new special shows starring Petie where we will be delving into your asshole with the Anal Sex Day and the Poaching Report by Petie the Poacher or the daily Fishing Report.
So Kimmy was on my ass to screw her everyday for 2 years and I alluded her and you would too but not Steve the cook for the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fag Gang and there is no Chef there just a Nigger slave woman known as the Old Nigger Woman and a Chinese slave woman known as Ms. Jackie’s Mama and then Steve and he is a slave too and they are all slaves there and Steve’s nickname is Charles Little Bitch and they all are slaves but they call themselves gang members and they call themselves a family with Mothers and Fathers and Sisters and allot of Hillbilly Fag Brothers and that’s not all they call each other and they are a gang and that’s a family just like the Italian Mobsters in Chicago and I may go there soon and set them up but don’t tell them or they will be killing me at the State line and I have an old girl friend from there that gives the best blow jobs and here she is calling in.
Beth Journel: Blow Fish what do you want, you know I am a high paid marketing agent and I can’t believe Wayne Roberts works for Trojan Condoms and why didn’t he ever tell me that I asked him and had him cornered and he would not say a word about the product that he was marketing only it was International Marketing so what do you want?
Blow Fish: Well first I think I should say you come on to strong with Wayne Roberts he is afraid of women and afraid to have sex with them and so now he just screws them with dildos and is losing his job because Trojan got wind through their results from the Google search engine that he was giving away their product as they call it or giving it to Lesbo Whores in bar parking lots in the back of his car and not to owners of Sex Parlors like he was suppose to me giving it to and so they fired him and he may be calling you for a job because he is desperate to make his payments on his double wide trailer house up on Exit #14 and not Exit #13 where the Polo Fields are that doesn’t have trailer houses and sounds so much better and so watch out for that phone call and the second thing is when I came last night you couldn’t find my cum because I didn’t come in your mouth when you were sucking on the side of dick or whatever it was you were doing to me down there that felt so good and then I came and it went some where that you couldn’t find and you said “I can’t find your cum and it has to be somewhere” and so I think I need to tell you that when I got up to leave this morning I saw my cum in you hair and you were sleeping so soundly I hated to wake you up so you better wash your hair before your meeting this morning because it is all over the side of your head in your hair and looks really nasty.
Beth Journel: Great! I am walking into my sales presentation right now so I’m not going to worry about it right now, I will just say its my new hair gel when they ask what it is and talk to you later and next time leave me a note and I will take care of what ever it is you need when I get up and have it ready when I get home for you.
Blow Fish: OK good luck closing that big deal with sperm all over the side of you head and so Kimmy has tried to screw me everyday for 2 years and she gets real serious on Friday because that must be our Fuck Day when I get free liquor and buy the bar rounds of Fireballs and Fried Jumbo Shrimp appetizers with tartar sauce and Tabasco mixed up together and she pays my tab or rips off Pompano Joe’s for all my tabs because she says “I don’t have a tab for you Honey” when I ask for it and then says “Are you going to Harbor Docks tonight?” and its more of a request than a demand but actually an offer of sex and so to keep her happy and the free drinks flowing for me and shots for the bar I say yes and then go to Harbor Docks and Ms Jackie pays for my Crown on the Rocks and seafood salads and my sushi rolls and my sashimi and its all expensive stuff and no one pays that’s with me and its always the best of everything and it’s always free.
Emily: You always get special food and special treatments and they treat you like a king. Your portions are larger and they give you Yellow Tail Collars and the best of everything because Jackie wants to marry you but she’s too busy right now at work smoking cigarettes or taking care of her Gay Chinese son and his faggot crew of friends and so if I hit on you and try to screw you or get an evite on your boat or even let you whisper in my ear I will get fired.
Big Red Bartender: You said I could come over and wash your boat and then we could go sailing and I said I would wash your boat with my big ole boobs I called bumpers and I shook my big ole boobs at you and then I would dry your boat with my big ole butt and then I shook my big ole butt at you and then I went insane because I want you so bad and I can’t have you and I can’t even talk to you anymore or I will get fired or have to work as a bus boy or bus person and clean tables off and I was a bartender when I met you and then a waitress or a server and now a bus boy or bus person and not even a waitress or a server because I can’t keep from shaking my boobs at you and shaking my big ole butt at you and trying to get you to let me wash your boat and do the same to you and I want to get on your boat so bad and get you on your boat so bad I am going insane and yes I am crazy for you.
Sam: I was the first one to talk to you so you should be mine and I was a bartender and then a waitress or a server and then a bus boy or a bus person and now I have to work at a bank for minimum wage because if you cross the Harbor Docks Gang and Ms. Jackie you can’t get a job anywhere in this town because they have spies and they get free food and all their gang spies for free food and job security because Charles is so cheap, so I met you first and then I fought for you and argued with Ms Jackie and got sent home for a week without pay and then it happened again and so I went to work at Bochamps and worked as a bartender where I could talk to you and hit on you and ask you out and they found out and got me fired not for speaking to you but because the Harbor Docks Gang called Bochamps and said I had stolen from them and they said I had done it before and they caught me and then warned me and then I did it again and they lied and got me fired and now I am pregnant and you have gotten me pregnant and I am working in a bank and they have ran you out of town and they are trying to get me fired here by saying that I am stealing from the bank and bragging about it all over town and I want to know what are you are going to do about our baby and when are coming back to marry me?
Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch I told you do not get married or I will have to come and blow your fucking brains out before the ceremony so you better stay single Blow Fish!
Kimmy: Blow Fish if you want to blow your wad in my hair or in my mouth or in my face or up my wet pussy you just let me know when and where and I will be there with no panties on and ready to go and I will fuck your brains out because I have been waiting for 2 years to get a chance at you so do you want me to meet you at your boat because Steve is at work and he will never know and I can lie and he can’t prove I’m lying so do you want me to meet you at your boat because I am horny as hell and I don’t care what Jackie says and if Steve kicks me out of his house I will just come live with you so if you want me to come fuck you on your boat I can meet you right now so can I meet you at your boat over and over and over and over and over…….
Ms Jackie: Kimmy you stupid whore did you just call me Jackie and not Ms Jackie? I have told you to leave him alone he is mine and I mean it and I will fuck you up and I mean it and I will tell Steve to kick your whore ass out of his house and you know he has to do what I tell him to do and you know he will or I will fire him and he will never work in this town again and neither will you little whore and I will fuck up all of you whores and Sam you better abort that child of yours and stop hanging that on Blow Fish and I don’t want to see any little Blow Fishies running around town that aren’t mine and Big Red you can go wash dishes but first why don’t you take a week off and all you whores take a week off and think about what it would be like to not come back to work here or not get a job anywhere and Blow Fish now honey if anyone has offended you in any way with any of their actions you just let me know and please don’t stop coming into to see Ms Jackie just because of these other stupid people that may have hurt your feelings and Ms Jackie is calling Oshi right now and telling her to prepare something really special for you when you come in and I think Mike has a special Yellowtail Collar he is saving just for you and you let me know if there is anything you need from Ms Jackie and please come see me sweetie and come soon please.
Blow Fish: So that’s what a visit to Harbor Docks is like for me and after Harbor Docks I usually would go to the Cabana Bar where the bartender is Oreo she would give me free drinks and my dates free drinks and all the women I was hitting on free drinks and then I would order a pizza and the best pizza there is called The Woody and it has all the meats and all the vegetables on it and it’s huge and when I order it, I order it with jalapeños and the first time I ordered it they told me “We don’t have jalapeño Mr. Blow Fish.” And I said “Then get someone in their car and driving to Winn Fucking Dixie and buy some. What kind of a pizza joint doesn’t have jalapeños?” And so now they have jalapeños the bunch of dumb assholes and they refuse to give you extra cheese and say “Most people that want extra cheese just buy a larger pizza and take some home and put extra cheese on it and then warm it up because we don’t add extra cheese.” So when you order your Woody at the Cabana Bar be sure to ask for the fresh jalapenos and not the pickled ones and insist on the extra cheese on top and don’t take no for a fucking answer. Bunch of fucking idiots! What a thing to say to a customer and so I order my Woody large and Oreo the bartender loves it when I talk about a Large Woody and I do mean she loves it when I ask for it Throbbing because then she thinks I’m giving it to her that way and so it’s always a Large Throbbing Woody and she gets wet because you will hear her describe her wet pussy on Eat My Key Lime Pie Day when she will be calling in to describe her Key Lime Pie and where I can stick my Huge Throbbing Woody and she comps my pizza and my drinks and the drinks for the women that I am hitting on and sleeping with and buying them drinks and then she gets jealous because she is paying for their drinks and I am having sex with them and not her and we have a fight and a lover’s quarrel as they call it there when she cuts me off because she is giving them free drinks and I am screwing other women and wants me to pay for the other women’s drinks and I won’t and then we make up and then it all starts over again and I just ignore her anyway so I never notice she isn’t speaking to me and I have friends and strangers that come in there every night and sit there and don’t order food so that when I get there they can eat my pizza free because it feeds like 8 people and it’s huge and throbbing so at the Cabana Bar I recommend the Huge Throbbing Woody add fresh jalapeno and extra cheese on top and I’m not taking no for a fucking answer damn it and then watch Oreo’s face light up and she gets wet just thinking about me and will tell you that and its all free and all these people sit around and wait for me to get there and when I get there they get to eat free and drink free and so they are actually loosing dinner business and the drink sales are off because everyone is on my tab and she comps my tab and it’s all free and she is set up and needs me to come in and talk to her is the word on the street and I asked “Why do I have an open tab there.” And was told “No but you really need to talk to Oreo.” Maybe she has gotten jealous because she has been buying drinks for other women for me again or wants to hear Blow Fish say “I want the Huge Throbbing Woody add fresh jalapeno and extra cheese on top and I’m not taking no for a fucking answer damn it!”
So as I said Kimmy works me over every Friday and everyday she works, but Friday was our Fuck Night and she was on me all afternoon and all night and I really under estimated her. I know that she is a whore and a prostitute but I didn’t know she has the killer gene in her and that she is a killer hitwoman for the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang and Charles the head of the gang sends her out to hunt down men that have crossed them and she was on my ass like a Hillbilly Fag on shit and then alerted the Hillbilly Bubbas at Harbor Docks to my location and they chased me all over God’s Green Earth for 1 whole week so they could throw me in the slammer and then I lost them and that has alerted my good friend and fellow killer or my killer or the fellar that’s trying to kill me to call in and hang on Geno. But first the music of the day or the Song de Jour on this my first day of my Restaurant Review is “What Was I Thinking?” by Dierks Bentley and what the hell was I thinking? Kimmy is a Killer Hitwoman Whore. Cold Blooded Bitch and she now wants me deader that shit! She started the whole thing and I don’t think I encouraged her by accepting the free drinks and food and she denies that Steve and the gang set people up and drug them and have them arrested and then run them out of town by ruining their businesses and their lives over what? A kiss and Kimmy says they’re not that way! She denies that the gang is that viscous and destructive and revengeful but she is just like them and one of them and just that evil and would set me up again and help them find me and help them kill me? Yes she would because she is an Evil Bitch! What was I thinking?
Thank you for waiting caller go ahead Geno.
Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of bitch I heard you were deader than shit and the Harbor Dock Gang was responsible for your missing.
Blow Fish: Well Geno I appreciate your concern or your concern that they missed and I am here to tell you that bitch Kimmy hunted me down like the Evil Whore that she is and told the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang where my boat was and it is a mystery to me where I am right now so we will have to wait to find out where I am.
Gene Luciano: I feel for those poor Harbor Dock Gang members they must have cops crawling around looking for your body and wiping up your DNA all over their fish market and restaurant and bar and in their office and I heard that Jackie the GM was so upset at your death that she never stopped smoking cigarettes that she just stood outside the whole week that you were considered dead and never went inside just stood outside smoking and wants to hear that you are still alive.
Blow Fish: No Geno that’s not a correct summary of her feelings she always stands outside and smokes cigarettes and that’s about all she does and so that had nothing to do with me and I have another caller and thank for your concern Geno.
Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you sorry son of a bitch I am not concerned that they killed you I am disappointed that they missed.
Blow Fish: Geno I appreciate you calling in and using a big word like disappointed and I will take my next caller and if you think of any other large words please don’t be afraid to share them. Go ahead caller.
Jackie: Wayne, I was concerned Honey. You know I worry when you don’t come in and see Ms Jackie. So I went to the police and I told them you took to missing and then they started a man hunt and they found your dead body in the county jail and that upset me so much that I started a cigarette smoking vigil and I smoked cigarettes for 7 days straight and I never stopped until the funeral was over and then I smoked for another 7 days and this is my first day back at work and I am not over it yet and won’t be for a long time and who is that wonderful Greenburg character that found your missing body or found that you were missing and called the police to report it?
Greenburg: I don’t know what you are trying to prove but I wish you would not include me in this I have work to do or cigarettes to smoke myself and I wish you would stop referring to me as the Heathan or the Originator of the Heathanistic Religion because I just consider that my personal sexual preference and non of your business and who made you the Sex Expert or sex critic anyway?
Blow Fish: Greenburg I am so sorry, I didn’t know I was criticizing your sexuality and I apologize and I will stop criticizing you or correcting your sexual styles or being the sex critic on the Big Show and I will give you the title of Sex Expert and I will start a new position here and I will be the Food Critic because you are actually the starter or the Originator of Heathanism and I am the starter of The Restaurant Review or the one criticizing the food in Destin Fl and the whole Gulf Coast of FL and the Keys and the East Coast of Florida and Atlanta so as I sail around from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar and Restaurant to Restaurant I am going to start reporting as the Food Critic or the Restaurant Critic or the one that is setting up the restaurants with my segment known as The Restaurant Review and that’s the restaurants that aren’t worth a shit and shouldn’t be in business no more anyway and this will be good news to you brother or cousin or brother from another mother or not a bubba and you know I never heard you call me Bubba when we were growing up because we aren’t Bubbas or we and no we are not and what did you call me friend and I know what it was and it was like a brother and so I will respect our brotherhood and so here is a tip, don’t go out tonight. There’s going to be a bunch of bad people out after 7 pm. See that’s when the bad people come out and those are the police and they are the bad people that come out after 7 pm and that is the word that I just received from Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar and the word came from Drunk Joe and I need to explain who this character is. He is the Town Drunk in Miramar Beach FL and he is sponsored by the Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar and he is called Drunk Joe which is the character Otis from your favorite TV show growing up or was that Billy Bob and it was Billy Bob and Fayla’s favorite TV show and when they had a baby girl and when we were all buying our kids DVDs and setting them down in front of the TV so they would watch a movie or shut up, Billy Bob and Fayla were watching Andy of Mayberry and recording every episode on a VHS tape so that Whitney their baby girl and yes they named her after that terrible black nigger drug addict up in Atlanta and I was invited to one of her barbeques once and I have got to tell you that you can take the girl out of the trailer trash but you can’t take the trailer trash out of the girl.
Greenburg: Have you forgotten I’m here because I still need a cigarette.
Blow Fish: If you start smoking at your age asshole you will be dead in a few years so cut that shit out or I will have to come over there and whip your ass and there is no need for that I will just let Mama Hilda deal with you and here she is and I guess I have told on you again, I am such a blabber mouth and now Billy Bob has to answer more questions from his friends about his stupid Bubba mentally that a parent would think that their child would like Andy and Opie better than the Lion King and if you didn’t have a chance to know what a Lion King was and only have Opie to watch I guess you just grow up looking like Opie instead of the Little Mermaid and that’s what I have a whole school of Little Mermaids and one Lion King leader of my flock of Chillan and now that we are in the Heart of Bubba Land you will have to figure out what they are trying to say because they do not know how to talk or read and so I appointed Stacy with an I and yes that is her name and all the women in the whole freaking town of Destin are named Tracy or Stacy or Kristy or something like that and don’t have last names but instead they all have a Y or and I or an E or two II’s and two EE’s or two YY’s or something that designates them from the other women except for Kimmy and she has 2 big ole tits that designated her from the rest of the whores and she is a whore and has tried to screw me every Friday night for two years and I will never screw that Evil Skank Whore and no one does but we will find out when she calls in to tell us who she is screwing and it’s not Steve I know that and I believe these rednecks call him a Home Builder and his name is Josh and he builds such piece of shit houses that he calls them “What They Deserve” and that would be you his vacationing customers or tourist and he doesn’t give a shit that you are so cheap that you can’t afford a quality built home or does he, yes he does its because you don’t want to over pay him and that makes you cheap so he doesn’t build a quality home he builds something and I am quoting him that’s called “A Piece of Shit” which is apparently “What They Deserve” so look for him at the Cabana Bar because that’s where he hangs and that’s where the Whore Kimmy screws him or is it? So you will just have to follow her Steve you dumb asshole and see where she goes and who she is screwing and then drug them and have them thrown in jail for a year and soon I will start the Crime Report and that will be where I report who the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fag Gang had arrested last night and thrown in jail or did the police miss them and let them get away and then they died in a car crash on Bloody 98 which is the name of the highway in Destin where the drugged customers are murdered by the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fag Gang so check back for that later in the Tiki Bar Tour when I start snitching and babbling about all theses gangs illegal activity with the Crime Report that will be followed by the Arrest Report or what I like to call the Shit Hitting the Proverbial Fan Show. And drugging a customer is called a felony and there are different types of drugs that have different effects and soon I will explain the different types on the Crime Report and I should know because I am an expert in the ways of being drugged and know just how to get my Blow Fish ass drugged and that would be by stealing someone girlfriend and rubbing it in your face in your restaurant Steve and then the drugged customers die in a car crash well that is called murder and soon I will be investigating how many Harbor Dock customers were arrested by the police and how many of them slipped through the police entrapment and that’s a crime too and how many customers ended up dying in a highway fatality known as Murdered by the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fag Gang and I will be finding out which gang members are responsible for the death which would be everyone in the gang because it’s a gang crime and like I explained to Gene Luciano’s gang when they set me up or I set them up while they were setting me up and that they were all going to jail for all the crimes because they are gang crimes and it takes a whole gang to set me up and they are all guilty as hell and all going down and then I’m hanging all those crimes on Gay Charles the Faggot Leader of his gang of Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags and then I will finish him off when I get to Atlanta and ruin his businesses in Georgia and have him arrested up there as well.
And that reminds me we are going to have the Camille’s Bar and Tiki Bar Day soon on this fantasy blog that is based on fact where all the names have been changed to protect the innocent but everyone is guilty as hell and if you don’t like what you are reading and not finding it entertaining then move on to another website because the blog is just an expression of my free speech protected by the 5th amendment and on Camille’s Bar day on the Big Show is where you will hear one of the partners or an owner or a gang lieutenant from the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang say that “I am following you Blow Fish, Jackie has me watching you so you have to behave because she is busy tonight and doesn’t want you to get in any trouble with any of these whores in the Bar tonite so I am following you and spying on you and I am on the clock and getting paid to do it and so I am working and not drinking” or am I and yes you were so Steve does drink on the job and that is not allowed and so does the bartender at Camille’s and out of all the thousands of bars I have set up and investigated or got drunk in and thrown out of to set them up Camille’s has the worst bartender because he is too drunk to pour a drink and I have never seen a bartender that can’t hit the glass with the liquor I mean how fucking hard can that be, it’s the only skill he has but can’t get the job done. I have seen Chris the bartender at Camille’s Bar so fucking drunk that he couldn’t hit the glass with the liquor and would pour the liquor on the floor, on the bar, on himself or the customer, anywhere but the center of that little round glass and then he finally filled the glass to the top with the Crown by pure luck and Greenburg buy your cheap asshole self some good liquor like a handle of Crown and no more cigarettes and that cheap shit you drink has tap water in it and maybe then Carol won’t be calling me and here she is but first Chris the bartender at Camille’s was so drunk one night or every night and this one night he couldn’t hit the glass with the Crown, he kept missing and it was like the glass was moving and was a moving target and finally he honed in on it and filled the glass to the brim and when he filled it to the top and didn’t spell a drop, it was like a miracle and I said “Wow you go it, Finally”, and he looked up at me and then he picked up the glass and threw the contents across the bar and said “I can’t do that to you” Because he would have over served me and he threw the liquor across the room and then he started the whole process all over again and started missing again and that is the truth and really happened and I would ask Chris what he was doing or where was he going after work and he would say “That depends on what is in the bowl on the way home” and that means if it was pot in the pipe he was going to smoke he might be going home and falling asleep or if it was Crack then he was going to the Cabana Bar a local hangout for drug dealers and prostitutes or anyone wanting sex, drugs and rock and roll and then a waitress came behind the bar at Camille’s and said “Chris a vodka tonic has vodka in it” and threw the contents of that drink out and remade her customer’s drink and Chris was still missing my glass and laughed and I think his alcoholism started in college because Chris is a failure at coaching at FSU and to drown his sorrow he drinks and so he sucks at being a bar tender as well and that waitress or server or the woman of my dreams as she calls herself was Emily and she was so in love with me or my boat or the thought of us on my boat sailing from island to island that when she heard I had a sailboat she quite working in the Camille’s Bar and said ”I am finished working, tell my customers I have left.” And sat down at the bar beside me and said “If you need a sailing partner then I am your girl.” And I said “Yes I do” and you always need someone on the boat don’t you Terri Lynn and she thinks that I bought her a catamaran but I bought it for Geno and he thinks he has it but he don’t as the Bubbas say and so back to Camille’s and I have a caller and it is Emily go ahead darling.
Emily: Wayne when are we going sailing? I can’t wait another minute. I will quite my job and I did the minute I heard you had bought another boat and we can just sail away and never come back here. I have nothing to keep me here and I am so hot for you I will have sex with you the minute we get on the boat if not sooner and I have waited for you to ask me to go with you and I quite work when I heard you had a boat and you walked in Camille’s and I told the manager to tell my customers I had left the building and he said they can see you sitting at the bar Emily now get back in there and finish your work and you know I can’t walk by you sitting at the Sushi Bar without stopping by you to give you an opportunity to examine my ass and ask me and my ass out but you don’t and I don’t know why because I am good in bed and everyone in town knows it because I have been with everyone in town and their girl friends too because I love a threesome so please invite me so I can move on and start my new life with you on your boat so please invite me I can’t wait another day or even another minute and here’s my sister she wants to ask you about going with you to Elton John….
Ms Jackie: Emily you little fucking whore what the hell are you doing I have told you to leave him alone he is in there looking for me and I will fuck you up if you don’t leave him alone I will tell everyone in town that you stole from us and you will never work in this town because you know Blow Fish is mine and so stop talking to him. I have told you that numerous times so to teach you a lesson I am taking you off the schedule and if you try and get another job we will call them and say you stole from us and you are going to jail for a long time and you will too because we will say to have done it before so you better watch your ass bitch or you will be locked up and in the slammer for a year just for talking to him and I mean it so my spies are out there and they will be watching you so back off. So I will fix your little wagon or big ole butt, I am calling my best friend at the Northwest Florida State College where your day job is and you teach a Medical Data Entry class and have her change your work schedule and have her add a class on Monday night which is when Blow Fish comes into Camille’s Bar on Locals Night and then you won’t be there any more and won’t be able to see him ever again.
Emily: Well I now have a class to teach on Monday nights so I guess that puts an end to our Monday nights together at Camille’s Bar and I will have to hunt you down somewhere else so we can sail off together on your boat to another island where there isn’t a Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang and Ms Jackie keeping us apart.
Greenburg: Wayne are we finished I have got to get home and see what’s going on with Carol and the kids. So I will catch you the next time I am forced to call in and I am out of here and need to smoke so check you later.
Mama Hilda: Greenburg you little Heathan you know that I have told you numerous times not to smoke cigarettes and so you will have to stop or I will call your father and have him come down from Heaven and scare the holy shit out of you because I know you are scared of ghost and if that doesn’t work I will send your sister too so you better stop smoking or I will have to tan your little Heathan asshole.
Mama Hilda: What did you say to your Grand Mother? You Yes Mam and No Mam me you little Heathen or you will get your asshole tanned or I will tan your asshole.
Greenburg: Wayne I got to go home and don’t have time for this right now so I will check back later buddy.
Blow Fish: You better watch your asshole Greenburg you have pissed off your Mama Hilda and she is on your ass.
Greenburg: Honestly Wayne would you just leave my Grand Mother out of this and I will check back later. Carol and the kids need me right now.
Carol Greenburg: Wayne would you come over and have sex with me? I can’t get Greenburg to come home and have sex with me. He is neglecting his home life again and I am horny as hell.
Green burg: Carol hang up I am on the way and stay off the phone until I get there.
Carol Greenburg: See how he treats me and controls me and all I want is sex and he is too busy with his gambling friends to be a good father.
Greenburg: Carol please don’t start that gambling bullshit again and hang up and I am on the way home and will be there shortly.
Carol Greenburg: I am not hanging up, you are just saying that and going to the casino or something and I won’t see you for days so I am asking Blow Fish to come over here and finish the work you started this morning and didn’t finish and I know he will make me scream and so I am calling him back after you hang up.
Blow Fish: Greenburg you better get home and finish her off or I will have to so get going or Mama Hilda will be calling back in with another lecture.
Mama Hilda: Greenburg stop being so controlling and give your poor wife whatever it is that she is asking for and stop being such a little Heathan and stay away from the Casino.
Greenburg: I have got to go and will deal with Where is Wayne Ball later.
Blow Fish: OK Greenburg check back in please. I need a progress report on the how and when and if I am going over there to finish what you have started.
Lynne Lane: I wish you would come over here and lick me good and then I will not have to call you again all day.
Blow Fish: I’m done with you. You little dumbass whore.
I was about to tell my fans or readers or dumb asshole Bubbas that we are about to start a new segment called the Food Critic or the Restaurant Review or the Flora Bama food menu and there is no food there and on Pensacola Beach I eat at Red Fish Blue Fish and I stay at my Vegas Show Girl’s condo at Boardwalk and so look for me there as I return from time to time to eat Red Fish Blue Fish Vegas Show Girl and that will be sooner than you think My X Attorney Friend so you better watch out and just because I say you are done for or about to get it on the Big Show it doesn’t mean I forgot about you so watch out because you are going down so hurry up and take his shingle down and lock him up and then I will start on the next contestant who is the Mayor Vince Whibbs and I just heard that he died in 2006 so I will have to say who is killing all my contestants and I guess it is either Deano or either they are drinking themselves to death or smoking cigarettes so watch your asshole and your heart Greenburg or Deano will have you on his hit list and that will be the end of you too but not yet because Mama Hilda has you on her hit list and I have a caller checking back in go ahead Greenburg and have you taken care of your husbandly duty or should I?
Greenburg: Very funny Blow Fish. I went home and did Carol outside on the deck and no the children were down stairs watching Andy of Mayberry reruns and I was reaming Carol’s pussy out on the deck and she was calling me Blow Fish and I thought what the fuck am I doing screwing my wife when she is calling me another man’s name and so I really gave it to her good so she would remember my name is Greenburg and she says that she likes to call me Blow Fish when I screw her and so I gave it to her long and hard in the hot Florida sun with my ass in the sun and after I was finished I went back inside and couldn’t sit down and went and looked in the mirror and it would appear that Mama Hilda has tanned my asshole, I can’t sit down and so thanks allot for that lesson and I have finished what I started this morning with Carol and I guess now I will have a cigarette and stand all day.
Blow Fish: Stop smoking or you will never sit down again or you asshole will be on fire Greenburg and that’s from me and not from your Mama Hilda and I will not tell you again.
Blow Fish: And you better say Yes Sir and No Mam to me too Greenburg.
Greenburg: Ok whatever. Yes sir!
Blow Fish: That’s better and you don’t want what my X Attorney Friend and His Vegas Show Girl are getting so you better watch your asshole Greenburg.
Greenburg: I am watching it. I just lit up a cigarette and now my asshole is on fire Blow Fish you son of a bitch stop all this Blow Fish bullshit and leave my asshole alone.
Blow Fish: I will when you throw away those cigarettes but until then I will be on your asshole like shit on stink or stink on shit or like Bubba on the Tiki Bar because I heard that Bubba is back and not reading the Big Show because he is too stupid to read so I will just appoint Stacy with an I as your interpreter or the woman that is reading for you because you are just that fucking stupid and I should have known that anyone dumb enough to join up with the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang and start calling them Daddy and Mama is just as stupid as you are Bubba and I know you don’t understand that so I will explain and then we will get back to Greenburg’s asshole and the Escambia County Clerk of the Court my Vegas Show Girl who I just heard is about to announce her resignation because her and her husband are moving to Atlanta to work for this big ole gangster that is fucking my nigger prostitute in the asshole that I took away from him and then threw back after I sat her up or was that your nigger or your Skank Ass wife and that would be a wife with no ass and that would be that big ole gangster up in Atlanta named Brevard and he is going down and if you move to Atlanta my Escambia County Clerk of the Court Vegas Show Girl you will too so you better stay there in Pensacola and wait for me to come back around for you and do not leave town with My X Attorney Friend and just sit there and wait. The Big Show has messages and codes and signs and that is as plain as the your ass in my face or my ass in your face or as plain as the nose on your face and so watch out asshole in Atlanta because you, your Skank asshole wife and all your cohorts and fellow assholes are going down and I know you can’t stop doing what you do and why would you this is just a blog and so I have an announcement that you will enjoy along with my Restaurant Review segment I will also start the Attorney of the Day call in Talk Show and that’s where you the victimized client of the shyster attorney gets to call in and voice your discontent and you are saying who cares I hear this bullshit all the time, well hear me now the bullshit is upcoming in this special and it wouldn’t end until your attorney shingle comes down so watch My X Attorney Friend is first and then he will announce that he is moving to Atlanta to work for Brevard and when he does he will do jail time so my Vegas Show Girl better tell her attorney husband to get back to work without Brevard’s help and stay where you are and that is as plain as the nose on your face and soon we will start the Attorney call in Talk Show or the show where his clients call in and he calls in to ask me to stop and sets himself up as the asshole he is and so when you go to look for an attorney in Georgia and you see a guy named Ken Nugent with theses video on the internet and you think well I will call him because the last time I heard that bullshit a car dealer sold me a lemon and so will he so call in tomorrow Ken and tell me to stop or you will do what you do and you can’t even represent your own clients how are you going to represent yourself and his clients are suing him and I will be suing Michael Griffin Attorney that lying asshole soon when I set his asshole up as the lying Southern Gentleman asshole that he is because I sat him up and another great attorney in Crestview Florida that is going to jail for running a book making business in his attorney office because that’s what he really does for a living and not representing his clients because he actually sits in the court room while his client is being hung out to dry and doesn’t say a word to defend his client and checks on his book making business on his cell phone and the bets he has placed on ball games and boxing and anything you can gamble on, so he is going down for the Bookie that he is and book making that he is and for just being the asshole attorney and dumbass liar that he is.
Greenburg: Blow Fish I have stopped smoking for the moment so please stop my asshole from burning please?
Blow Fish: I will when you stop for good so go ahead and light up and then I will call your Mama Hilda in to light up you asshole again so the answer to your question is No Sir.
Mama Hilda: Greenburg you better just sit your little Heathan ass down in Time Out for 20 minutes and then I will take the fire away from your asshole and you can chill out again.
Mama Hilda: I told you to Yes Mam me and No Mam me and that’s when I say to do something you say Yes Mam and when I say did you do that and you say No Mam so did you smoke another cigarette while I was saying that?
Mama Hilda: Boy you are a little Heathan so there your asshole is on fire again and so walk around outside because you can’t sit down and be quiet for 20 minutes you are in Time Out.
Blow Fish: So we will give Greenburg 20 minutes or so to cool off.
Greenburg: Oh and I mean ouch!
Blow Fish: Greenburg you are in time out and that means you can’t make a sound so go for a walk and chill out.
Mama Hilda: I said stop talking.
Mama Hilda: You will never learn. Give me back that million dollars I gave you that your father left to me when he died and that will teach you a lesson.
Greenburg: Yes Mam! I will behave!
Mama Hilda: You better you little Heathan.
Blow Fish: And that’s why we call him Greenburg. He loves his money and so would you Bubba if you had any but you ain’t got shit and never will so if you think your family is leaving you anything, they are not they are a bunch of bullshit assholes and leaving you worthless shit with tax liens on it so we will be looking up your drunk ass family tree soon but first we have to call Randy Fucking You Over Gibson first.
Randy Gibson: I really thought you would call me Pirate Randy like everyone else and no one would know who you were talking about in all these other cities that are reading the Big Show like Atlanta and Columbus and Roswell and St Pete Beach and Boca Raton and Miami and Ft Lauderdale and West Palm Beach and Naples and Key West because I don’t think they have heard of Pirate Randy but they have heard of me so please change my name to protect the innocent and my children and the memory of my parents?
Blow Fish: I am protecting the innocent and that would be your victims because Piracy isn’t a victimless crime is it Randy Gibson?
Randy Gibson: I don’t know what you are talking about, Piracy is just good clean fun and doesn’t hurt anyone and why don’t you call me Pirate Randy like everyone else does?
Blow Fish: Because I have an article here and a file and the name on the file says Randy Gibson and not Pirate Randy so I always call you Randy Gibson or Randy Fucking You Over Gibson and that’s where you are fucking over the weaker people in your life and I am fucking you over so they can get even with you and isn’t that the bubba code Bubba?
Bubba: No that’s not right what we do is just fuck you over before you can fuck us over so that no one ever fucks us over because that would be a crime and we like living in a crime free society where we never get screwed and that’s about all we know about that Ha ha!
Randy Gibson: That’s right Bubba I mean Blow Fish or I mean right Bubba and now you are getting me confused or either Mr. Ball is or god damn it I am losing it and sounding like a bubba and I am not! I am a developer and the businessman that has helped make the City of Destin what it is and I know I told you that Blow Fish and why can’t I just call you Wayne Fucking Me Over Ball?
Wayne Fucking Randy Gibson Over Really Hard Ball: Well I hope you like the way that looks and sounds because I wasn’t going to give myself that name because I am innocent so please continue and any other request?
Randy Fucking Himself Over Gibson: I want my name back and your dick out of my ass because I’m getting screwed over by your caller id and now I know how Jimmy Buffet feels.
Jimmy Buffet: I think I am getting screwed over here too, I recognize the music of the day, it’s not my song so why am I here?
Blow Fish: Yes you are! I need your help setting up Randy Fucking You Over Gibson and of course you are a Bubba from Mobile AL just like my group of Nigger Pimps and Whores I call on to reek havoc on my parties or my setups and they are coming to my party at the Cabana Bar this week and so are you Jimmy Fucking Us All Over With Your Music Buffet because I hear you play for gumbo so I will be serving you gumbo and you can come perform with Krissa and Jabbo, the house band or the performers as they call themselves and I hear you have a line of clothes and a restaurant chain and even a key chain and have written a song about it or have stolen a song from a recovering alcoholic war vet police detective in Mississippi that wrote a song about being a recording artist just like you and you had him play with you on stage so you could record the song live and now its yours because that’s what you do. You invite artist to perform their songs live with you and now you have written a third verse about yourself and hell the whole song is about you and the third verse is about you singing how this Police Detective is now a star but his stardom is fleeting because as you are singing you are stealing his song and now he is not a star anymore because you stole his song and now its yours. So you fucked him over and stole his song before he could become a star and fuck you over.
Police Detective Mat Hoggatt: Jimmy Buffet I want my song back I wrote a very nice song asking you to make me a big star just like you with catchy lyrics about your line of clothing and your restaurant chains and you even got key chains and then you invited me up on your stage and we sang my song together and then you stole my song and made it your own so I am taking it back and deleting the 3rd verse where you stole my song and so I am taking my song back just like Zac Brown took Chicken Fried from the artist that was about to make it his cover.
Bubba: And that is all we know about that I mean it is and that’s all we know so Ha ha!
Zac Brown: What was that am I on the Big Show today with that thieving Jimmy Buffet and Randy Fucking You Over Gibson the arm breaker from Daytona Beach? Leave my Chicken Fried song out of it.
Jimmy Buffet: I don’t know what you are talking about Mat Hoggatt, it’s my song now and what have you done with my 3rd verse and what about my royalty?
Blow Fish: I guess you have been screwed out of it which is what you do to these other artist and then you just keep their song too and ruin it by recording it live where it sounds like shit and we have to listen to it on Margaritaville Radio. So stop ruining other artist songs and just play the original version and not the one that you have recorded live and slaudered like those little bass fishies that Greenburg has been catching.
Greenburg: I want nothing to do with Jimmy Buffet why don’t you make him stop playing his own songs too they all sound like country music to me and not island music or sailing music but just whinny country music and why doesn’t he just move back to Nashville and take those fat parrot heads with him and stop all this Havana Day Dreaming bull shit so just keep me out of it I have no opinion at all and stop cutting down my style of fishing it’s the only style I know and who made you the fishing critic anyway? Isn’t that Petie’s title on the Fishing Report and maybe I am a Bubba too and take that off the Big Show I am from the south but I am not a Bubba and I will get my gang of gamblers or my gambling buddies or bubbas or my Heathanistic Followers that worship my Heathan sex style and we will come over to the Cabana Bar Party and show you assholes how to party with my Heathanistic style of sexuality and fun making or love making so we are coming over to the Party at the Cabana Bar and show Jimmy Fucking Us Over With His Island Songs Buffet and show him how Heathanism is performed in public and we will steal the show from the performers because who the hell wants to see them do their fucking show again that they do over and over and never change it like we just fell off the turnip truck or something and have never seen it before but I have no opinion so just keep me out of it and stop making me a Bubba, I am the Greenburg.
Jimmy Buffet: Well I guess I will have to be there to see what Heatanism really is because I don’t want to miss that and I could use some really good Gumbo.
Blow Fish: Well on the Restaurant Review for today you can’t find anything good to eat at the Cabana except for the Huge Throbbing Woody with fresh jalapeños and not pickled jalapeños and extra cheese and you have to order it like that and if it doesn’t come out like that just say “Just take it back and make it the way I asked for it or forget it and cancel my order!” and say “Blow Fish says yea!”
Jimmy Buffet: I want my song back and what does this song have to do with Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson? I haven’t heard anything about him in years I thought he was in the slammer or something for drug smuggling how did he get off that charge and is he still breaking guys’ arms to win a $50 bet that cost them a thousand in medical bills?
Blow Fish: Now you are fucking up my Big Show for tomorrow when we find out what Randy Gibson does for a living and so you have heard of this Pirate Randy character before?
Jimmy Buffet: Yes I have because I lived in the Keys just like you and tried to steal your girl friend Mustang Terry or Terry’s Tang and I never said I knew Pirate Randy, I said I heard of him because when you are in the music business you hear who is smuggling drugs and who is in the slammer and I swear he was arrested and I saw an article in the paper and it was a big ole article or a big ole bust and then I didn’t hear anymore about it so I guess he must still be in the slammer.
Blow Fish: He is right here on the Big Show and he is about to tell us why he is going to jail again so stick around and listen in and so you do admit to trying to screw Terry’s Tang and that would be Terry with a Y and not Terry with an I or Terri with a Lynn.
Terri Lynn: Honey if you want me to have sex with you and Jimmy Buffet and even Randy Fucking Me Over Gibson then just let me know because I can be there anytime just get the cash together and tell Jimmy I am no groupie and don’t care for his music anyway so he pays double because he can afford it Randy pays cash because his checks are no good and I have heard about him and the word on the street is he promises things that he can’t deliver and that is my problem too because I start blow jobs and then loose interest and then go do something else and can’t remember what I was doing oh yea I want cash from all three of you guys.
Connie: What a whore and the word on the street what are you a hooker?
Terri Lynn: I am a high-end Atlanta prostitute and I specialize in blow jobs on the side of the finer golf courses where I sell blow jobs to golfers and then I forget to finish and just leave them there with their dicks hanging out and I walk away with their money and I am proud of it bitch. So what have you contributed to society lately that would compare to that?
Connie: I donated a new wing to the Scared Heart Hospital in Pensacola and haven’t had to sell myself to anyone to get the money for it.
Blow Fish: OK girls we are all impressed with both of your life long achievement awards you are giving yourself but I am setting up Randy Fucking You Over Gibson and AJ Laird right now so hang around and see what happens because Randy Fucking You Over Gibson has asked me to stop fucking him over on the internet but I haven’t even started and I have your file right here Randy Gibson and that’s the name on the file and here’s another one with Alan J. Laird on it and I will open it soon and read from it but first I will let you complain about what I am writing about you on the internet so go ahead and wait a minute you already have and are calling you attorney the next time I use your name on the Big Show and so I have so make your call and it’s not a blog Randy Gibson it’s different than a blog it’s a fantasy blog where nothing is real and all the names have been changed to protect the innocent and I have tried to protect the innocent but Randy Fucking You Over Gibson and a AJ Laird have gotten to them first just like me isn’t that right because the Evil Whore Kimmy who thinks I am getting just what I deserve for kissing her and then getting myself drugged and getting myself arrested and throwing myself in the slammer or is it for blogging about how the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags set me up and had me arrested and thrown in the slammer for a year where everyone was fine with that but everyone isn’t fine reading about their dirty laundry on the Big Show well I started with your dirty laundry and your shit and put it to country music so it sounds more stupider that you even are but it don’t cause that’s who you are and so fucking dumb you don’t even know it because you fuck your own children and you use your kids like slaves and Greensburg’s mother used him like a slave and I pay my children just like I pay my employees when they work for me and do my work not chores and Greenburg’s mother made him do her work and not her house work but her own personal projects at home and she took credit for the work and you ass holes use your kids and everyone in you life likes slaves and so we are going to start looking at your victims and we will start with the people you call your crew and who are they Randy Gibson?
Randy Gibson: Now you leave my friends and family out of this or I will have to come where you are and rough you up and have my attorney slap an injunction on your blog and shut it down.
Blow Fish: OK you go ahead and do that but in the interim let’s talk to your friends. Let me see, it is a short list and so is your one and only friend that still speaks to you so I am calling on Little Rick.
Little Rick: Why are you bothering me I’m not in Randy’s gang and have nothing to do with his business affairs?
Blow Fish: Well I was wondering when you are broke who do you borrow money from and how do you pay it back and how do you pay the vig or the interest?
Little Rick: I never borrow money I am a businessman and do quite well and never borrow money from anyone. I stay busy at my carpentry business and don’t need help from anyone.
Blow Fish: I guess Randy told you to answer that way. Is he there right now?
Little Rick: Yes I would say so.
Blow Fish: So when you need money you borrow it from Randy correct?
Little Rick: Yes I do and then I work to pay it back and the interest or vig.
Blow Fish: If you can’t pay him back how does that work?
Little Rick: He beats the hell out of me until I pay him back.
Randy Gibson: I’m still here and do not hurt him I just shove him around a little bit to set him straight.
Blow Fish: Do you assume that one day Randy has probably killed someone to get them to do what he wants?
Little Rick: Yes I am sure he has and…
Randy Gibson: That’s enough of that I am not letting you ask him anything else. He has no comment.
Blow Fish: Well then I will move on to your care taker or your body guard that lives in your adjoined guest house at your boat house which is actually a beach house and your beach house is actually your beach townhouse and I have a townhouse on the beach and call it what it is a beach condo or townhouse and I just call it a condo why do you call it a boat house.
Randy Gibson: Because that’s where I keep all my boats.
Blow Fish: I would call all your boats a bunch of bullshit so why don’t you call it your bullshit house because it is and you are full of bullshit and I will prove it and so I am calling on Mike your care taker.
Mike the Caretaker: Randy is a great employer and he hardly ever beats me and when he does its because I deserve it and yes he told me to say that because if I don’t he will beat me to death and I do mean to death and believe he will do that and has murdered someone before and he has made reference to it in the past.
Blow Fish: Where do you think he gets the money to pay you?
Mike the Caretaker: He says he is independently wealthy from the death of his parents.
Blow Fish: Do you think he might have killed his parents to get his money or take their money?
Mike the Caretaker: No I think they died from natural causes.
Blow Fish: Do you think you have long to live after telling me this?
Mike the Caretaker: No comment I do not have long to live he is here now.
Randy Gibson: Now stop this or you will be dead as hell too.
Blow Fish: Let’s see how fast you can get to Austin Texas asshole. I will call your gay son in Austin.
Ding Dong: I am not talking to you and why are you saying I am gay I like girls not boys.
Randy Gibson: You know my son’s name so why are you protecting him?
Blow Fish: Ok if you insist. He lives in Austin which is full of crazy ass people so I called him Ding Dong because he is but whatever you want asshole.
Randy Gibson: He’s no more innocent than I am!
Blow Fish: Well you live in Austin and that’s the Gay Capital of Texas and you live with a guy you know better than you know any women because you have never had sex with a woman because you are afraid of girls so I would say you are gay.
Dylan: I am not sexually involved with another man.
Blow Fish: Then you are gay because you aren’t involved with a woman at all because I have had you followed and you go home with your buddy every night and never a woman and that is enough evidence for me you are gay.
Randy Gibson: Ok change his name back to Ding Dong I think he has the Gay Gene and not my genes.
Blow Fish: Well I think that he’s gay because he thinks you were such a terrible father that he is afraid he might be as terrible a father as you are and he avoids women so he doesn’t find out.
Randy Gibson: I was a good father and a provider.
Blow Fish: Then let’s call Mrs. Randy Gibson and see.
Randy Gibson: She’s the one with the gay gene on her side of the family.
Mrs. Randy Gibson: Randy never worked. He made me work to pay the bills and I am still working as a jewelry salesperson at Captain Dave’s in Miramar Beach and will have to the rest of my life so why don’t you just say that he has chased women his whole life and smuggled drugs and been a loan shark and a confidence man his whole life and leave my other 2 kids out of this.
Blow Fish: OK but what about that Billy Bolegs party he has once a year where his prostitute madam provides the underage girls and his youngest son invites his young underage girlfriends over and and while everyone else is outside he is inside having sex with these drunk underage girls and I don’t need you to answer because I walked in on it and he is pervert and should be arrested for statutory rape but he has a larger crime to answer to and that is murder.
Mrs. Randy Gibson: He does go insane when he is mad and he looses it and becomes so violent he could kill someone and that’s no secret and the reason I left him was so that I could move to a safe place and the whole Billy Bolegs festival has turned into a Heathanistic Festival with public displays of nudity and sex. His party is just an excuse for him to have sex with under age women and it’s just a sex party and not about Billy Bolegs at all just about under age sex and he is a pervert!
Randy Gibson: She has the gay gene in her genes not me. She’s the pervert. I don’t think that you have any evidence where I have ever murdered anyone do you?
Blow Fish: Yes I do! And she does?
Randy Gibson: Yes she is having an affair with my daughter and they are both gay and it’s been going on for years and they are both Lesbos and I can’t stand either of them.
Blow Fish: Then the women in your family are gay and sleeping with their own children and your boys are gay and Pedophiles and you are sleeping with your boys under age girl friends and you are all a bunch of Pedophiles and are so disgusting and you do like young girls and the younger the better and I did walk in on you screwing that drunk 14 year old girl at your party and was so disguised I grabbed Stacy with an I and we left and I refused to go this year because I found it so disgusting that you screw young children like that and what kind of mother has sex with her own daughter Randy Fucking You Over Gibson?
Randy Gibson: It’s just sex these days. It’s not against the law to have sex with your own children here in the south we have always done it I mean when you live out in the country they are the only people around to have sex with and so when we moved into the city or the city grew up around us we just continued doing it and I think Bubba will back me up on this.
Bubba: That is correct and we in the south just have sex with anything we can find whether it be a child or a cow or a small turkey or anything that we can stick our dick in and a small turkey sounds sexy as hell right about now and is making me horny just thinking about it and I don’t know if I can get 2 in the pink or 1 in the pink but I can defiantly get 1 in the brown and that would be the dark meat and that is the best part. I am dark meat man and I like the more tender meat than the dry white meat and I know you are a white meat man Mr. Ball and are white bread but we like it all here and we just fuck anything including our own children and that goes for you too Mr. Ball we will fuck your children too because we aren’t choosy and I am sure you know what I mean because you have seen the women that I have been screwing and I am not choosy.
Terri Lynn: That’s right my daddy always said that a white man in the south has the right to have sex with anyone he wants even his own children and I think I will just go have sex with someone else’s child right now because Bubba fucking that small turkey is making me horny as hell and I have heard that small turkey carcass is some good pussy so enjoy that Bubba and call me later and you can fuck me after you finish the small turkey carcass when I come to the Cabana Bar Party or either I can give you a blow job in your shackled up pickem up truck out in the parking lot and then not finish because I just forget what I am doing and never finish anything and so I will see you at the Cabana Bar where I will be raining my hell all over the Gulf Coast which is what I do Raining Hell on Blow Fish’s life and his parties that I am never invited to.
Blow Fish: Well I am shocked and both appalled and calling the police on all of you and I have a caller go ahead please.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: What am I calling in for I haven’t done anything?
Blow Fish: So you are blaming the death on Randy Gibson?
Randy Gibson: Now leave AJ out of this he has a DUI charge to face and is probably looking at 5 years in the slammer so just don’t mess with AJ or I will fuck you up or we will.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: No I don’t know what you are talking about I have never heard of Randy Gibson.
Randy Gibson: AJ he knows we are friends and we got our start together so that’s not going to work but he has no evidence that we killed someone together.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: Well then why don’t we just kill him and then no one will know?
Randy Gibson: I guess we could and then the secret would die with us only I think he is putting this shit on the internet but not yet so let’s see if we can just fuck him over and get rid of him before anyone finds out.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: Then I will take his feet and you get his arms and we will dispose of the evidence in the Destin Lagoon and when the evidence or the body floats up at the other end of the lagoon or out in the Gulf we will just say we have no comment or better yet don’t know nothing.
Randy Gibson: That sounds good but why don’t we wait till low tide or an out going tide and then his body will go out with the tide and I can rest assured you won’t mention it because if you do then I will tell about where you got your money to build your Tiki Bar and then you will loose it all.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: I don’t think there is any need to threaten me why don’t you just say that we are both in the same boat in that circumstance. We both got our money the same way.
Randy Gibson: OK I will keep my mouth shut if you will and we will wait until sunrise and the out going tide.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: If we do that then we could be seen disposing of his body.
Randy Gibson: Then let’s tie him to a boat and we will drag him out and cut the rope and leave him there for the sharks and we don’t have to wait for the tide.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: Alright but if we use a boat lets use yours and then you can take it home and no one will know it was here.
Randy Gibson: I will just sell the boat so tell everyone I sold the boat and it will never be back here again and I will take it out of the water and hide it and if anyone spots it we will say I sold it and it left the dock and I didn’t need it there anymore.
AL Tiki Bar Owner: OK but I don’t think they will believe that you sold your boat and didn’t buy another one.
Randy Gibson: Well this asshole has about $40K on him so we split the money and you keep half and I buy a boat with my half and I think I will buy a bale chaser and then we won’t have to pay this asshole anymore to bring our bales in we can do it ourselves.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: Alright lets get it over with and then we will split the money we just paid this asshole and be done with him.
Randy Gibson: So I will be the new bale chaser and you can distribute it just like normal and nothing will change.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: No way I want a discount from now on.
Randy Gibson: No way. I’m not going out for the bale without getting the full $40K.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: Alright Randy I don’t see where I have a choice I will pay you the full $40K but you aren’t getting cut in on the distribution then.
Randy Gibson: Ok but then you will have to call for the bales yourself because I’m not getting involved in that if I don’t get paid for the distribution.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: That will work just give me the phone number and I will make the call.
Randy Gibson: Then get your own bale supplier and I will bring it in.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: Alright Randy you can keep your share of the distribution too. I don’t want to fuck up this good thing we have going so you bring in the bale and we split the distribution profit but I keep the cocaine business to myself because I do that now right.
Randy Gibson: No I want half the cocaine distribution or I leave this dead body right here in your office and call the cops and you can explain it when they get here.
AJ Tiki Bar Owner: You asshole I should fucking kill you and be done with you and get my own boat.
Randy Gibson: Fuck you AJ you wouldn’t have shit if I hadn’t cut you in so you better shut your mouth and not fuck with me.
AJ Tiki Bar: Ok Randy you got me I don’t want any trouble with you I will pay you half of the cocaine distribution too.
Randy Gibson: Alright let’s get going and get this over with and I can get home before my wife realizes I’m gone or she will raise hell with me for cheating on her again.
Blow Fish: I will just stay out of this. I think the evidence speaks for it’s self. That’s what happens when you try and screw with Randy Gibson and Alan Laird. You just get yourself killed and you can’t be a big ole drug smuggler without having to dispose of a dead body every now and then and so these two are drinking themselves to death trying to drown their memory of killing the Bale Chaser or either drowning the memory of killing the Bale Chaser with another round of vodka but not anymore because its time to kiss your ass goodbye boys. Next!
Randy Gibson: If you publish that on the internet I will kill you mother fucker and I know where you are and your children are.
Blow Fish: Good luck asshole just don’t get in a car and try and drive either toward me or my children or you will find yourself with another charge of attempted murder and that’s a fact Jack so just try chicken shit and that’s what I have told Gene Luciano about 143 times so Geno what’s up.
Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch don’t you fuck around with my smuggling business or I will blow your fucking brains out and I know where you are. You are on the Travel Channel on that TV show about disgusting foods I think its Bizarre Food and that fat host picks your blow fish ass up out of the water and holds you in front of the camera and says “Should I?” Well the next time he does I am blowing your blow fish brains out.
Julie Luciano: He shoots the fucking TV every time he sees that and then we have to buy a new TV so I am blocking that Channel and he is really losing it Wayne he has all these green haired people chasing him around Naples and now the Russians aren’t looking at my ass anymore they are looking at his ass and waiting to see it on the Big Show and laughing and he thinks they’re gay so he is a man loosing his mind.
Blow Fish: I will show his asshole soon and it should be on the Bizarre Food Channel with my Blow Fish ass because it is so disgusting. That’s some rough looking dark meat you got there Geno I mean I have this white moon and you’ve got this dark and scary looking shit asshole and dangling ball sack that need to be clipped. So after I set up the photo by telling how I got it and why I got and who drugged me that night and how she is going to jail and how there was an undercover agent working right behind the bar beside her and so that will be coming up sooner or later so stay tuned for that in an upcoming episode and I need more Intel on this porn business in West Palm Beach so I am calling on Greenburg to explain this to me as soon as he can sit down from disrespecting his Grand Mother and having sex in the hot summer Florida sun.
I am sure that Randy Gibson will be joining us back in a few days when he gets a job and makes an honest hard working citizen of himself as an Over the Road Long Haul Truck Driver. Then we also have the Eat My Key Lime Pie Day and that’s where you call in and describe your Key Lime Pie and tell about it being eaten or not being eaten whichever the case may be and then we will be taking callers to ask Petie the bartender at Pompano Joe’s Tiki Bar what color their assholes are because I don’t know about you but I have no idea what color my asshole is but Petie seems to know the color of everyone’s asshole or at least the waitresses at Pompano Joe’s that we call Pompano Hoe’s. So check back for that and also I will take a caller go ahead please and say your name I believe this is your first call in and I do not have you on caller id.
Connie: Wayne why haven’t you been taking my calls? I have called for 1 whole week with no answer so I went out and got a new phone thinking that you were avoiding my calls to see if you would take my call and you have so what is going on and why haven’t you taken my calls?
Blow Fish: I was under arrest and thrown in the slammer for trying to eat sushi and then they chased me all over God’s green earth after I bonded out. I don’t think I have even had a phone call in 1 week so I don’t know why I didn’t get your call and I know why. I had to throw my phone in a toilet and wait a week and get another one so they couldn’t track me with my cell phone using the GPS feature on the phone because you can’t turn that off like people think it still works on the being found part even if you don’t want to be found the only part you can turn off is the finding a restaurant or a motel or something you are looking for and not the part where Geno finds what he is looking for and that would be my Blow Fish ass on Bizarre Foods.
Connie: Well I was worried sick and I am glad to hear you are OK and I won’t bother you anymore if you don’t want to talk to me then.
Blow Fish: No I want to talk to you I just don’t know why I can’t just say what is on my mind and its that I am starting a new segment on the Big Show and I wish you could help me in Pensacola with my Restaurant Review.
Connie: Sure so what can I do?
Blow Fish: Well you could run around to all the restaurants sampling their food and tell me if any of it is any good.
Connie: Well silly I have been doing that for years and it seems to all be about the same these days I mean they are all serving the same thing and it all sounds fattening like pork bellies and beans with pork bellies and more pork bellies.
Blow Fish: That’s what I was afraid of you know when you see pork bellies on the menu you know you’re in a Russian Bar and Restaurant those cheap son of a bitches love the cheaper cut of meats and they love to serve cheap ass beans and if that’s all you have a choice of eating then you are stuck with their food. I gave them my Brussels Sprout Recipe that I stole from Campiello’s in Naples FL to try and get their dumb assholes to serve a green vegetable and there he is Geno is back on me for saying the name of his home bar again today.
Gene Luciano: OK Blow Fish I know you are trying to tie me into this whole Brussels Sprout Recipe theft and I had nothing to do with it, it was an inside job and not related to me in any way at all.
Blow Fish: I didn’t say it was related to you in anyway and if you don’t want to be a suspect then why are you calling in to confess again and why is it an inside job.
Gene Luciano: Because it was cooked inside and not like Greenburg’s asshole which was cooked outside and I had nothing to do with that also.
Blow Fish: Geno no one thinks you are connected with Greenburg’s asshole what are you talking about.
Gene Luciano: Nothing I’m just fucking with you asshole you are trying to have a sweet conversation with this Connie whore and I know you like her I’m calling in to interrupt your chain of thought and stop your source of enjoyment which you do to me all the time and I am sorry to hear that you aren’t getting any younger.
Blow Fish: OK Geno where did you hear that news flash.
Gene Luciano: One of your cohorts just phoned me and said Blow Fish is getting old and wants to retire but he can’t until I am arrested and in jail and that will never happen because I am too well connected and so is Harbor Docks and you can’t fuck with either of us.
Blow Fish: Well Geno it was wonderful to hear from you and please have a nice day and call back when you have something interesting to say that isn’t a bunch of pure bullshit.
Gene Luciano: Well if you are coming down to Naples to review my restaurant and tell everyone that the 2 entrees for $39.95 with the free bottle of wine and the poison is in the wine that special is over and it is now $40.95 and it is about time we raised our prices and everyone else has too and I know you were about to ask.
Blow Fish: Well Geno why the hell don’t you just write the Blog chatty Cathy and I will just wait and see what happens to my Blow Fish ass next and I know the answer to that.
Gene Luciano: What’s that?
Blow Fish: I will be saying Shut the Fuck Up!
Now Connie I am sorry we were interrupted but I think he is calling back and what Geno?
Gene Luciano: Well I am suppose to keep you on the phone so we can trace the call and find out were you are so where are you and do mean right now?
Blow Fish: Well Geno you don’t have to keep anyone on the phone for 15 minutes anymore its instantaneous these days you just have to wait for the signal to return to the cell phone tower and then the computer recognizes the tower and then where the signal is located in relationship with the location of the cell tower and then the location shows up on the screen and it gives you a GPS location which is latitude and longitude so you don’t have to wait to find out and I am in Panama City Beach at the Sunset Marina visiting friends for a few days it was too hot in Destin for me or I was too hot and had to leave why do you ask?
Gene Luciano: That’s what I thought so my son is on his way up there. We have a contract out on you from the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fag Gang and yes they know where you are too because I just told them.
Blow Fish: Now don’t they have the jump on you because you are 7 or 8 hours away and they are 1 hour away 2 at the most so who will get here first?
Gene Luciano: Fuck you Blow Fish you know I didn’t finish school and I appreciate the multiple choice question but I don’t fucking know so stop trying to confuse me and so go to hell that was not fair you set me up with that brain teaser.
Connie: Is he for real. I mean I have a 8 year old that can figure that out.
Blow Fish: I didn’t know you have kids.
Connie: Oh yea I have a couple and I hear you have a full house.
Greenburg: He doesn’t know what a full house is, he always calls that 3 of a kind and 2 of a kind and then thinks that’s funny. But you have to call it a full house to win and so we always tell him to call it correctly if he wants to win.
Blow Fish: Well I still won the hand and its a lot more fun to see your expression when I ask “What is 3 of a kind and 2 of a kind called?” and then you say “A full house” and I say “Then that’s what I have!” and then snatch up all the money and then you all just cuss and fuss and say beginners luck. Then I start bluffing and you say “You don’t have a poker face” and then I have to stop bluffing because you assholes are afraid to bet because I am a good bluffer but obviously I do not have a good poker face so I just don’t play anymore because you guys are sore losers but Deano plays and I don’t play no more so pay up or get up and its to late to pay up so get up and answer the door and say that fucking Blow Fish has set me up and I didn’t make you stupid your Mama did Boy so blame your Mama Boy not me and Greenburg your ass better be at home or you are going down too so stay home until further notice and watch your sunburnt asshole or just watch Carols ass get bigger and I want to know if she has lost weight because I’m coming home and if you keep smoking cigarettes and croak then I am prying her out of your dead hands so watch for the return of Blow Fish to Pensacola Beach when I come back for my Vegas Show Girl and her title will be Mrs. Blow Job just like Taylor Swift so that is on the horizon and watch for that and we have a lot coming up but first the restaurant report or the Restaurant Review and live from Destin FL we go to Harbor Docks and I have Oshi on the phone and Oshi this is Blow Fish but you know me as Wayne so go ahead and say something to our listening audience in Japanese.
Oshi: Blow Fish fuck off!
Blow Fish: Well I guess we are on the same page here and so can I order a house salad with ranch dressing please?
Oshi: Blow Fish fuck off. We got no wanch we got Orange Mandarin dressing only got that no wanch.
Blow Fish: Well this is not going to look good in my Restaurant Review if you don’t have the most popular dressing in the SE of the US of A and it is called Ranch and you mispronounced it and Orange Mandarin dressing always smells like Asian pussy to me and I don’t eat that either but it is better than the pussy that smells like Tilapia, and I think that would be Yellow Tail on your menu, and that pussy taste like shit and so does your Yellow Tail so check back in on Eat My Key Lime Pie Day where you will be calling in to describe your Key Lime Pie and the eating of it or not.
Oshi: Fuck off Blow Fish we no want your business no more.
Blow Fish: Your whole attitude is just horrible. Now what about a lobster? Do you have a lobster tail on the menu?
Oshi: No wobster last time we have wobster you brought a bunch in and cooked them for the whole lunch crowd and I heard they were better than sex.
Blow Fish: I wouldn’t go that far but thanks for the compliment and when was the last time you had sex.
Oshi: No sex for me my husband invalid and can’t have sex so I just compare food to sex and all food is better than sex to me.
Blow Fish: Well you need to get laid why don’t you give Mike the sous chef some Viagra and he will screw the hell out of you?
Oshi: Why would he do that he married?
Blow Fish: Well I gave him some Viagra so he could screw the hell out a server and also someone in Athens so he will probably screw the hell out of you because the server I saw there was about the nastiest Skank Whore I have ever seen and I have seen allot of whores and she was disgusting.
Oshi: Yes she nasty whore and she got fired. All nasty whores got fired and now we have all Hillbilly Fags here now no whores.
Blow Fish: Well I just talked to Jackie this morning she is still there is she a Hillbilly Fag?
Oshi: No Ms Jackie head of prostitution and not involved in the running of restaurant anymore.
Blow Fish: Well you must still have some whores if Ms Jackie in charge of Prostitution.
Connie: Wayne I got to go I don’t know what you are up to but good luck and I will call you later.
Blow Fish: OK Sweetie I will talk to you later.
Terri Lynn: What the hell is that all about? First you are sweet talking that Taylor Swift whore and now this Connie whore and what’s up with her?
Blow Fish: I am in the middle of a Restaurant Review process and if you really need to know she and I are old friends and that’s all.
Terri Lynn: Let’s hear more from than Heathan Greenburg and less from that whinny bitch.
Connie: I am still here and I can hear that bitch and why don’t you just go home to your Army Colonel husband and leave Blow Fish to me bitch whore.
Terri Lynn: I am so hurt! I thought that was a special name that only Blow Fish calls me. He was supposed to name his boat that after me.
Connie: Well he didn’t name it after you and he never will and I have my own boat and it is named after me and it’s called the Watchful Eye and that’s because I have an eye on you bitch so back off.
Oshi: Oh Mr. Wane still having woman problems?
Blow Fish: No I don’t have any problems in the woman department but I am sorry to hear that you have problems in the man department and I can’t help you with your handicapped husband that’s in a wheel chair and give you a handicap restroom so please stop asking me to and I can’t help Mike the sous chef with his very own restaurant so he can escape the tyranny that is Harbor Docks Sushi Bar because I was just setting you guys up with The Restaurant Review and now everyone will know that the food sucks so check back tomorrow when I will be delving into the menu which has no salad dressing or lobster or red meat or much of anything to choose from so please come back tomorrow when you will hear Mike say “ Wayne do you want to see what color panties I am wearing?”
See Mike caught me asking the woman sitting next to me at the sushi bar at Camille’s “What color panties do you have on?” Now I cannot remember why I was asking her that? It was a total stranger and we were eating dinner beside one another and I don’t usually ask strange women that and it has hardly anything to do with the eating of sushi but I somehow worked the topic into the conversation and Mike caught me because these serves and bartender types are ease droppers and on top of that the are gossipers and if you want anything spread around town just say it in front of one of them within 24 hours you will hear back about it. So Mike said “Wayne do you want to see what color panties I am wearing?” and he showed me what color panties he had on and so each time I went in to Camille’s he always asked “Do you want to see what color panties I have on?” and he would stop cutting fish and pull his pants down and show me and they were always pink and they were always hot pink and he always pulled his pants down and grabbed his ass and then went back to cutting your fish without washing his hands and cutting my fish with his nasty ass hands that he had just touched his ass with and God only knows where his ass has been because he was a male stripper in his earlier life where he slept with lots of nasty whores and they don’t wear gloves at Harbor Dock when they cut fish and someone is going to get Pink Eye from there and the management lets him get away with this disgusting behavior because they are a bunch of stupid ass Hillbilly Fags and I have set them up with The Restaurant Review so check back in tomorrow when they will say we have no Tilapia on the menu if you want the Tilapia you have to order the Yellow Tail which is the Tilapia or if you want the Basa you have to order the Grouper which is the Basa. So what ever you order at Harbor Docks you are not getting what you asked for but probably are getting Pink Eye so just order the Pink Eye Roll and we will ask them for that recipe tomorrow on The Restaurant Review but I know what’s in it and it’s Mike’s ass and it will give you pink eye at Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang a Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin and if you ask Mike the sous chef what he wants its a restaurant of his own so he can be free of the truant owner Charles who is on his way down from Atlanta or from his Gay Relationship in Atlanta where he lives and back to Destin FL where he can’t be Gay but thanks to him his whole restaurant is Hillbilly Gay because he keeps sending Gay employees down from Atlanta and North Georgia to work here and they are the New Gay Culture, a new change in the Gay Society from North Georgia where they all wear ball caps and T shirts and blue jeans because Gays all dress alike so you can tell they are Gay and so they all fit in together and this is the new Mountain Man Gay Look and it’s called Hillbilly Gay and they look like Mountain Bubbas but they are Hillbilly Fags and I think this whole change in the Gay Culture came from that movie Deliverance where the Mountain Men screwed the City Slicker in the asshole and made him scream Weeeeeeee and so they are Gay Mountain men and they are screwing each other in the asshole and making each other scream Weeeeeeee and are Hillbilly Fags, the new Gay Culture where they all wear ball caps and T shirts and jeans and the all look the same but they are gayer than shit and will fuck you in the ass and make you scream Weeeeeeee too so watch your ass around Harbor Docks a Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin and now the whole staff including Charles’ son Eddy is Hillbilly Gay as hell so if you want some fish cut by a bunch of Hillbilly Fags then Harbor Docks is your Gay Destination in Downtown Destin and is now on the list of Gay Destinations on Google Search and everyone laughed at me for calling it downtown but hell I am a City Slicker and that is downtown to me and Harbor Docks is the City Hall and Charles controls the whole town from a Gay Relationship in Atlanta and these are Hillbilly Fags and they are trying to chase my City Slicker ass down and make me scream Weeeeeeee and so I will see you tomorrow and see if the Hillbilly Fags from Harbor Docks a Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin have caught my Blow Fish ass and made me scream Weeeeeeee like a City Slicker and if you are Gay and on your Gay Destination Vacation just walk into the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang a Gay Destination for Sushi in Downtown Destin and scream Weeeeeeee and those Hillbilly Fags will be on your ass faster than a faggot on shit because that’s just who they are and what they like and for the love of God ask them to wear gloves and not when they are on your ass but afterwards when they are slicing my Sushi and join me tomorrow as we explore how much ass it takes to fill up a gay man’s asshole or is that how much ass does it take to fill up Charles asshole or how much dick does it take to fill up Charles asshole and I will have that info tomorrow when his Gay Lovers from Atlanta call in and discuss his pie hole or man hole or man pussy and you are screwed Boy!
Please click on the link below in the comment to see the video of What Was I Thinking by Dierks Bentley