Good Morning fishing fans and we are live at the Fishing Rodeo in the Middle Grounds of the Gulf of Mexico and I am here reporting on the efforts of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang and their commercial fishing fleet in the Gulf of Mexico and they are out in full force this morning and catching their prey and then returning to Destin FL where they unload their catch and then heading back out here and I am filming the fishing action and waiting for Gay Charles to fly over in his helicopter so I can catch him searching for a lost Bale of Marijuana and then sending his fishing fleet over to pick it up and return it to it’s rightful owner which would be Gay Charles and the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang so all I have on them right now is a charge for illegal long line fishing in the Middle Grounds off from Cape Sand Blas and that is against the law and another way that Charles Morgan makes money illegally and who would ever know they are out here because they are the only fishing fleet out here and the only other boats that I have seen all day and the catch of the day is Tuna and it is Yellow Fin and Blue Fin and so today’s lunch special here on my sailing yacht is Tuna sushi and it is delicious served sashimi style with soy sauce, wasabi and little slices of hollows and if you don’t know what hollows are then don’t bother asking a sous chef at Harbor Docks because they don’t know anything about serving sushi and they are slices of Mexican Jalapeños which are not the same as the ones that Harbor Dock buys at Winn Dixie in Destin FL because this is a gourmet item and you can only buy them in an International Market or a Gourmet Food Store or at a fine dining sushi restaurant which Harbor Docks is not and they know nothing about what hollows are. So I am sailing across the Gulf of Mexico today to escape certain death at the hands of Gay Charles and his Hillbilly Fags Gang and I doubt if they can catch me out in these heavy seas where they are long line fishing in the Middle Ground which is illegal so I have caught Gay Charles breaking the law once again and speak of the Devil he is out here in his Helicopter and you can always tell if it’s him because who else but Gay Charles would have a rainbow striped helicopter so he is flying his gay colors today and has named his helicopter Gay Pride and he’s not alone up there and must have his Gay Copilot Life Partner with him that he never brings to Destin FL because his Gay Lifestyle is not publicly accepted here on the Gulf Coast of Florida so he lives in Atlanta which is the Gay Capital of the World and the location of his Gay Brothel and he appears to have located his missing bale and the fishing fleet is turning their course to retrieve the bale and I was out with Gene Luciano one day when he had misplaced a bale of Marijuana so I know the procedure and I am headed to St Petersburg FL to investigate a bunch of drunken drugged out Pirates and Winches and sail from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar looking for the Bale Maker and I have a caller go ahead Geno.

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch you leave that bale alone and get back to sailing straight to Naples FL and avoid those drunken asshole Pirates in St Petersburg and return to my House of Detention so I can end your life and won’t have to kill your children and why the hell do you have so many of them? I would be out hunting them down for days so I am starting with the oldest and working my way down the list as I warned you when I set you up at the Champagne and Caviar Bar in Downtown Naples FL so get back on course and I have you on GPS so you better watch out because I am watching you.

Blow Fish: Well Geno you must be tracking my movement with my cell phone and I am almost out of range of the cell phone tower and finished with this phone anyway so I am throwing it overboard and there goes your GPS trace on my Blow Fish asshole so you better find another way to find me and if you send Gay Charles after me in that tacky rainbow-striped gay colored helicopter the Gay Pride, I will shoot it out of the sky with a flare gun so that will be the end of him so don’t even try and why are faggots so damn tacky with everything they own and everything they do and I will tell you why, it’s because they are such simple minded fools just like you Italians Geno and so I am out of range of Gay Charles turf and headed to St Petersburg where all the men think they are Pirate men and the women think they are Pirate Women which is called a Wench and so I am headed to the land of Gay Wenches and Gay Pirates and will report when I get there and speaking of Gay Italians I have another caller and go ahead Gay Scot the stand up Gay Comedian.

Gay Scot: Blow Fish why do you call me a comedian? Is it because I am so funny and I know it is because I am funny as hell and I don’t care what women say. I know I am funny as hell and where are you I need your help. I am starting a new business so I need your professional advice for my new Speak Easy in Downtown Roswell and it will be called the Cameltoe Bar where all the servers have Cameltoes and that will be funny as hell so what do you think isn’t that funny as hell.

Blow Fish: Well that is a better idea than your last business concept which was buying an Ice Cream Truck and dressing up like the Good Humor man driving thru communities playing the ice cream music so the kids will come running out with their money and then you selling them Kiddie Porn.

Gay Scot: Yea that was funny as hell wasn’t it, And then the little kids carry the porn back inside and show it to their parents.

Blow Fish: And then you get arrested. Yea that is funny as hell Gay Scot. So tell me more about the Cameltoe Bar and please say it doesn’t involve Kiddie Porn.

Gay Scot: No not this time this is even better see the name of the bar is the Cameltoe Bar and it’s a speakeasy so the entry is in the rear like at any good Speakeasy and so on the sign the name Cameltoes has Rear Entry above it and so it is the Cameltoe Rear Entry and the Cameltoe is an ass crack and the Rear Entry is you know anal sex which I love so much and if you fall asleep around me or pass out you are getting fucked in the asshole because I will take advantage of that situation and then the next morning I describe the whole thing to you because you were passed out and didn’t feel a thing and never woke up so you are now a Gay Man and I am opening a speakeasy and need your advice so what do you think because I am an idea man and I know Dan the Big Ole Fag will look sexy ass hell in hot pink panties with half his ass crack hanging out of the panties and that’s the Cameltoe and then as with any Speak Easy the entrance is hidden in the rear which is the Cameltoes Rear Entry and I am talking about buying the building that was the old location of Pasti’s and so what do you think about my Cameltoes Rear Entry Speakeasy Bar?

Blow Fish: I know you are just an idea guy and you have had allot of stupid ideas like me forming a band so you can sing back up and harmonize on the one song you know how to sing so how do you plan on financing this project Gay Scot?

Gay Scot: I wish you would call me Daddy or something and isn’t that funny and then we could call it Daddy’s Money but it ain’t it’s Dan’s money so that Big Ole Fag Dan is my financier and he will be the one putting the money out and I will be in the bar every night entertaining the bar clientele with my wit and humor because I am so funny and I may ask that Big Ole Fag Dan to dress up like a woman and sing show tunes because we just love show tunes and Motown so we will have a great floor show so now what do you think of my idea?

Blow Fish: Have you asked permission to open a bar in Downtown Roswell because I think that is Brevard’s territory and if you don’t ask permission then you will be fighting with him and the local authorities the whole time and will have a hard time opening up just like those nice Restaurateurs that opened the Roux Cajun Restaurant and they were forced to totally remodel the whole building to code and put in a commercial kitchen instead of just using a microwave to warm up the Cajun dishes which is what a bar does and so they tried to call it a bar and not a Restaurant and so this Restaurant Group which consists of a bunch of family members with 4 or 5 Restaurants they have opened in Downtown Historic Roswell, where I am the Elected Mayor and not a self-appointed Dictator like Gene Luciano is in Naples FL, so when they tried to open up another Restaurant with a kitchen with a microwave oven and called it a Bar where they supposedly would warm up precooked dishes and then operate the Bar like a Resaurant and that is what the Mafia does to open an illegal Restaurant and then you the customer eat in a Restaurant that isn’t inspected by the Health Department and so the conditions in the kitchen could be nasty as hell and probably are because the Health Department has no idea what is going on in there and that is called an Illegal Restaurant so when the Roux Cajun Restaurant was finally opened they would have had a complete full commercial kitchen that was not to code and not inspected by the County Building Inspectors and the Health Department and run as an Illegal Restaurant and so they got busted on the Roux Cajun Restaurant and finally had to get a building permit for a commercial kitchen and install a range hood with fire suppression and have it all permitted and inspected by the Building Department and the Health Department and pass a Restaurant Inspection so that you know it’s a safe place to eat and it is by the way and so what about getting permission and getting the proper permits Gay Scot with Daddy’s Money?

Gay Scott: Why are you calling it Daddy’s Money because I said it was Dan’s Money? I don’t need permission and I don’t need a kitchen because we are a Speakeasy and don’t serve food only Ass Crack Shots and Martini’s and Gay Craft Beer and we will be serving that delicious Golden Rain which taste and spells just like Golden Showers which is when we faggots piss all over each other and we will be drinking it and then pissing it all over each other and so the whole place will smell like piss and ass crack and there will be a Big Ole Asscrack photo on the front of the building with the name Cameltoes and the words Rear Entry with an arrow pointing to the ass crack and it will be funny as hell and why do you say that we are so tacky and cheap in our taste. I think it’s funny as hell and will be a huge success in the Gay Community here in Atlanta which is the Gay Capital of the World so why do I need a permit and its Dan’s Money and not Daddy’s Money.

Blow Fish: Well I am not talking about Daddy’s Money which is the money that is being invested by those Roux Restaurateurs because they are Laundering Money in order to open those businesses and they just may be arrested for that crime and a few others if they don’t watch out so I hope you have paid taxes on this money you are getting from that Big Ole Fag Dan because if he has taken money from his Freight Company and then moved it from one account to another like he is loaning it to you and then never getting paid back or just trying to write it off as a legitimate expense then he will be going down for Laundering Money because that’s what the Mafia does with the other restaurants in Downtown Historic Roswell. They make money with their prostitution rings and drug smuggling and car thief rings and loan sharking and gambling and extortion and graff and that is what you need to pay to be able to open up a Bar that serves Liquor to make those Ass Crack shots and Martinis or you will not be able to open your doors so what’s your plan on getting a liquor license genius?

Gay Scot: I am planning on Dan going down and picking up a Liquor License and they better not give us any trouble if you know what I mean because we are the Gay Mafia and we are as powerful as that Russian Mafia in downtown Historic Roswell as you call it and we just call them a bunch of Armenians and not a big deal if you know what I mean and who is Brevard?

Blow Fish: Brevard is that Big Ole Bag of Hot Air that thinks he runs everything up there in North Atlanta and all over the SE of the US of A and so if you haven’t met with him and gotten his permission you just may get your Gay Asshole killed because he doesn’t give a shit about the Gay Faggot Mafia and will send you to the Forsyth County Landfill in a suitcase if you know what I mean and sometimes they use an igloo cooler.

Gay Scot: What are you talking about?

Blow Fish: Brevard’s Gang killed a person once and they stuffed the body in an Igloo Cooler like on the back of my Sailing Yacht and then threw it out on the side of GA 400 and then a crew of county prisoners was out there picking up trash and one of the prisoners found the cooler and opened it up and there was a dead body inside and it scared the hell out of them and stunk to high heaven so if you don’t want to be stuffed in a suitcase or a cooler and thrown out on the side of the road or in the county landfill you better get with Brevard because he is an evil son of a bitch and I mean that Gay Scot and stop all this we are the Gay Mafia shit and cover your asshole boy as Brevard would say.

Gay Scot: Well I will talk to that Big Ole Fag Dan but he said he has connections with organized crime himself so maybe he is working with Brevard already and we will wait and see.

Blow Fish: Well good luck with that eye soar of a business in my hometown of Historic Downtown Roswell where I am the Elected Mayor and not a Dictator like that asshole Gene Luciano where that Pervert Wayne Roberts is giving the Lesbo Whores at Pasti’s his new brand of Dildo still in the wrapper that they love so much and then fucking them with it in the back seat of his car in the Pasti’s parking lot and telling them to go throw those nasty as hell things in my pool at my House in Roswell GA where someone could get pink eye becasue I do not know where those things have been and then come back and get another one so thanks allot to that Pervert Wayne Roberts and to you Gay Scot, all we need is an ass crack Gay Bar called the Rear Entry Cameltoe Speakeasy so thank you so very much for ruining the neighborhood just like the Gay Mafia does by running down the property values and then everyone has to move to another part of town that hasn’t turned Gay.

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch don’t you start any shit up there in Atlanta with those fucking faggot friends of yours and get back down here to Naples FL and get back in my House of Detention while I have a vacancy and I will end your life there and end all the trouble you have caused me for years now and all the embarrassments like putting that photo of my asshole up on the internet and if you want to know what I am talking about then you need to stop asking me to repeat myself and read back to Day One and then catch up and you will see my big ole asshole right here on whatever day it was posted on the Big Show and you will see what an ignorant asshole I am so stop asking me to repeat myself and read back and catch up and …

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch stop stealing my caller id and change your name back to Blow Fish you son of a bitch and now I am repeating myself again and I think I said don’t make me do that or was that you and now I am confused as hell and will have to sit down and let my stupid Italian small brain with the low IQ catch up with my mouth…

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch you stole my caller id again half way through what I was saying and now I am confused and how the hell did you do that?

Blow Fish: I learned that from Brevard and I haven’t learned anything from that asshole. I usually know what he is about to do before he does it and I think you know what I mean but he does change his caller id and has taught his gang how to do it and you just buy a cheap ass phone where you can enter the name you want the caller id to read and then he changes it to the Sandy Springs Police Department and then calls up his victim just like this…

Sandy Springs Police Department: Good Morning this is Officer Brevard with the Sandy Springs Police and you just called to report someone trying to kidnap your senior citizen parents and I am returning the call.

Children of Brevard’s Victim Senior Citizens: Yes I was just calling to report the disappearance of our parents. They were at home the other day and then they didn’t answer the phone this morning and they have disappeared and their health care providers are gone and so is all their money and jewelry and it looks like they sold their house to some shield company and we are disturbed and upset, to say the least.

Brevard the Counselor: Well if you are having a hard time dealing with your loss we can send someone over to help you deal with your loss and get you through this hard time and then we will start doing the same thing to you that we did to your parents.

Children of Brevard’s Victim Senior Citizens Who Are in a Mental Institution Under a False Name: Well we are not in need of counseling what we need to know is where our parents are so we can go get them and bring them home and take their money away from them and put them in a retirement home.

Brevard the Funeral Planner: I think what you need to do is start planning for the disposal of their human vessels here on earth before they pass to the next dimension or heaven or whatever you people call it and we have a lovely selection of vessels if you would like to arrange to have them cremated in advance of their passing.

Children of Brevard’s Victims Who Are Waiting to be Killed: We just want to know where we can find them so we can save them before someone does something horrible to them.

Brevard the Private Investigator: For a small deposit we can find your parents and then when we can or can’t find them you can pay us the balance and we take credit cards and can probably have them located or be ready to take that final payment by the end of the day.

Children of Brevard’s Victims Who Are Not Coming Home: I don’t think we are going to find them so why don’t we just move forward with locating their bodies so we can plan the funeral.

Brevard the Asshole Killer That He Is: Well then you might want to look in the Forsyth County Landfill in a suitcase or an Igloo Cooler buried under a bunch of household garbage so you will never find them because we cover our tracks.

Blow Fish: That’s just how evil this character is and he is going to kill my sister and then she will be in the County Landfill in Columbus GA so someone please check on my sister and see if she is still at home and I have another caller from there and maybe it is her. Go ahead caller.

Bob Taylor or Tommy Taylor or Whatever Your Name Is: Now stop changing my caller id and making it sound like I am using an alias and leave my boss man out of this or you will be hearing from his attorney and I am one of his attorneys and so as soon as he tells me what to do then I will be doing it and then when I finish doing that then he will pay me and then I will be starting another job and so forth and so on and that is my arrangement with my employer Brevard and that is how we are given a job or a project to take care of or someone to get rid of if you know what I mean so you better watch out.

Blow Fish: Well Tommy who is who you are and not Bob Taylor an Attorney at Law, I know that and you told me that when you first started pretending to be an attorney and didn’t know what to say so this time why don’t you just tell my audience where my sister is so someone can go get her and then get the police and have you arrested?

Bob Taylor or Tommy Taylor or Whatever Your Name Is: I am not at home and neither is your sister and so I have changed my name again and you will never find me unless you know who to ask and it’s not the Police it’s Brevard and he never tells the truth and so you won’t be tricking him up with your questions like you did me.

Blow Fish: Brevard this is the Police and I need to know the whereabouts of Carol and Bob Taylor and I hear that you are involved with their disappearance and their possible murder.

Brevard the Concerned Employer: I am concerned, to say the least, and will get right on this and get to the bottom of this and get back to you and it turns out that Bob Taylor was working for the Ken Nugget Law Firm and not me and I have no idea where he would be and can be of no further help to you and I hope you have a blessed day.

Blow Fish: Ken Nuggent where is Bob Taylor that was working in your Columbus GA law office for the last 5 or 6 years?

Ken Nuggent: I cannot be reached for a comment at this time and I will have to call Brevard to find out what I am suppose to do next because I am given a job to do and when I complete that job I get paid and then I am given another job to do and right now I have not been given any instructions and know better than to open my mouth like that dumb asshole Bob Taylor or Tommy Taylor or Tommy Thompson or whatever his name really is and I am sure you know that so the police can serve a warrant so why are you bothering me anyway.

Blow Fish: I am just sailing across the Gulf of Mexico and have too much time on my hands so I thought I would just give you some shit asshole and this just in from the Destin Daily News it appears that Randy Gibson and AJ Laird have filed a report with the Okaloosa County Sheriffs Department that their drug distributor Doctor Detriot has had a Kilo of Cocaine stolen and anyone with any information into the location of the stolen Kilo should contact the Sheriffs Department and they are offering a reward for the return of the stolen Kilo of Cocaine and they just lost a bale with a Kilo of Cocaine inside of it just a few months ago and I guess that’s what happens when you kill your Bale Chaser and then take over his business and give it to this Doctor Detroit character who keeps losing shit and I have changed his name because he’s guilty as hell so do not mention this to him because Doctor Detroit is a bad mother fucker and looks as scarey as Doctor Detriot as everyone knows and so we will be following this story and getting back to you later if this Kilo is located and so I am just sailing along trolling for Tuna and just waiting on a bite and I get to keep this fish but when you fish in the Harbor Dock Fishing Tournaments they keep your fish so they can sell it in the fish market or in one of their seafood restaurants and that’s just another way they make money off the locals by stealing their catch in all the local fishing tournaments and then selling it and they have a new refrigerated truck just to pick up your catch and bring it back to the fish market and the sign on the truck says the Food Bank but it’s their truck. I saw the Harbor Dock letters removed and changed to the Food Bank and so look for it when they go to take your fish away from you after you have it weighed at the fishing tournaments and that’s just another way they make money illegally by stealing your catch when they have no legal right to it what so ever, you can check maritime law and it is a con they are running making it look like a charitable organization gets your fish and soon we will be looking at their largest scam of all called free Thanksgiving Dinner which isn’t free except for their free loading gang members so look for that in an upcoming day on the Big Show and I got a tuna on the line and got to go so check you later. Fish On!

Well I have a beautiful Blue Fin Tuna in the boat and so I will be eating fresh Tuna Sushi here in the Middle Grounds and I caught it on a short line and not a long line like Gay Charles and the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang Commercial Fishing Fleet does which is against the law and just another way he makes money illegally and so I will be having fresh tuna sushi for days and what a treat and my buddy Carl the Poacher eats his Mahi Mahi the minute he gets it in the boat with some soy sauce and lemon and soon we will be looking for Carl the Poacher’s collection he calls wild game mounts and I just call it a bunch of stuffed dead animals but not Carl the Poacher, he has two sons that are snipers for the US Army and so they go all over the world killing all these poor animals and some of them are endangered and so I am tracking his collection down so I can have him arrested for the terrible way he treats these poor endangered animals that just makes me sick to see those poor animals with their marble eyeballs staring back at me making me just about cry and I believe he is responsible for whipping out some of these endangered species in Florida so we will be looking for his hidden wild game collection down in the Keys as I am sailing from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar and finding which one Carl the Poacher has hidden these poor endangers animals and then he goes down for his crimes against humanity. So Carl just eats his Mahi Mahi sashimi style but I prefer my Mahi Mahi blackened grilled and they do not serve Mahi Mahi at Harbor Docks and they don’t even know what that is or know how to wear gloves or wash their hands and if you don’t believe me go in there and sit at the Sushi Bar and ask your dinner date who was Krisa, the performer from Faggot Paul’s home bar to his Sex Party Group the Cabana Bar, what color panties are you wearing tonight sweetheart and Mike the sous chef will pull down his pants with their bare hands and show you what color panties he is wearing and then slap is asshole and then go right back to cutting your fish with their bare hands and Krisa doesn’t wear panties anyway but Mike does and that was what it was like when I set them all up in Destin FL at both locations at Harbor Docks and Camille’s so go by there and see for yourself and complain about them not wearing gloves and then they will drug you and set you up on a DUI charge and throw your ass in the Okaloosa County Jail and cut your throat and let you bleed out and then call Geno and say where is my final payment and I have a caller from there so go ahead sweetheart.

Emily: It sounds like you have already left the area without me. I have just returned from my girlfriends house in California and it turns out that our marriage wasn’t legal and I can’t sue her for alimony and can’t get a job here and if I did then Harbor Docks would just get me arrested and I can’t drive or they will set me up with a DUI just like they did to you so would you please turn your boat around and come back for me or can I meet you at your Beach Townhouse on Indian Rock Beach and then we can be together forever and I can live in your house and sail on your boat and we can go anywhere you want to go because I have no ties here at all and can go anywhere with you on your boat.

Blow Fish: Do not ask me to repeat myself you will have to read back to Day One and find the answer to your question. You just asked me that question yesterday so read back and then catch up or you will miss the fact that every woman in St Petersburg is going to ask me the same question because all the women there can’t find a man that isn’t Gay so they are sleeping with their roommate who is their girlfriend and then they think they are their wife and so all the woman in St Petersburg are Gay Lesbo Whores that think they are still straight because they still want to have sex with a man but their wife tells them they can’t so they hit on me hard as hell and then try to get a date and then when they break the news to their wife she says over my dead body so this went on over and over at every Restaurant and Bar and I will spare you the sorted details and their names so as I have completed the crossing of the Gulf of Mexico in my Sailing Yacht and about to start my Tiki bar Tour down the West Coast of Florida today my first stop was in Clearwater Beach where all the residents are so old I can’t stand looking at them much less investigating them and the big Tiki Bar here closed years ago and so I will skip this town and make my way south and I am a little worn out from crossing the Gulf of Mexico and glad to be sleeping in a real bed that doesn’t move tonight at my Beach Townhouse on Indian Rock Beach where it is quiet most of the time unless some fucking crazy asshole like me shows up and then all hell seems to break lose like people drinking shots in bars and insulting the management and getting themselves drugged and thrown out and thrown in jail and my throat cut and wait a minute that goes on all the time in Destin FL so I’m not telling you people anything new, so I am on the Rock as we locals call it here in Indian Rock Beach FL where I have blended in and disguised myself as a local and this island is just north of St Petersburg and I am Living on the Rock and doing hard time here on the Rock on a stretch of sand that time has forgot where nothing ever changes and always looks the same and life here is hard as hell which seems to make everyone here Crabby as hell and in a foul mood but this is a party town only the local Police insist that it is a sleepy little beach town but no one seems to be paying them any attention so the Police have added more lights to their patrol cars and that didn’t work so they bought big ole SUVs and then added more lights to them and one isn’t enough so they travel in pairs so everywhere you go there are two police in big ole SUVs watching everything you do and some are female officers and one is flirting with me and that may turn out good or it might turn out bad and they have about a million LED lights on each Police SUV and when they turn them on it looks like a Christmas Parade and it looks like some kind of a celebration has broken out on the side of the road but the Po Po is serious as hell and you can’t walk down the street with an open container and you can’t consume alcohol on the beach so you can’t even walk down the beach with an open container and the locals will Narc on you and call the Police and then 2 Police will show up on the beach in a 4 wheeler and fine you or haul your ass off to jail but this is still a party town all the same and I am investigating each Tiki Bar one by one as I work my way down the coast and the first stop on my Tiki Bar tour is the largest Tiki Bar on the Rock as we call it and my buddy Kenny Chesney was nice enough to record a whole album entitled Life on a Rock which is the song of the day on this day of the Big Show and my artist of the day and not that Thieving Jimmy Buffet who is famous around here because everyone here in this area considers themselves to be a Pirate or a Wench and I do not know why there is such an attraction to those characters that people would actually groom themselves to look like those rough as hell looking people but they do here so everyone looks like either a Pirate or a Winch and you have to figure out who the Pirates are and the Winches are because it is hard to tell the difference and I mean who is sleeping with whom and it just isn’t that simple here because there are Pirates sleeping with Pirates and you would never know because they don’t look gay and then there are Winches that are sleeping with Winches and they aren’t even bisexual anymore, they are gay as hell and have forgotten to tell themselves that they are gay and they act straight and they won’t leave me alone and are after me and trying to move in my Beach Townhouse so they can walk to work and not have to drive or pay any bills and their girlfriends which are calling themselves their wives are freaking out and jealous as hell and trying to straighten their wives up and take them back away from me and then there are guys hitting on me and then there are the straight women that can’t find a straight man anywhere because there aren’t any and they are desperate as hell for a man and they are chasing me down the street when I try to leave without them and so it is a crazy place.

craaby-bills-tiki

The first Tiki Bar is the crabbiest of all and it’s the original Crabby Bills and this is their first location and so this is the oldest and the roughest and it is the crabbiest of all of them and they have a Tiki Bar and if I didn’t say that everything here has no class and is tacky as hell then I just did and it looks like you are in a trailer park and it’s a Saturday morning and they are having a yard sale and they have a live band set up in a shed and a bunch of picket tables set up and are about break out and eat lunch at a rest stop on the side of the road by the trailer park and there is a Tiki Bar in the trailer park like there is in any trailer park in Florida and it is actually an aluminum patio cover just like the type you would have attached to a trailer house and under the patio cover there are tables set up like at a yard sale and they are being used as a temporary bar and there are a group of trailer park trailer trash standing around the tables drinking beer and everything here is hard as hell and as rough as life in a trailer park and so the trailer trash beer drinkers are crabby as hell and the bartender is crabby as hell and the Tiki Bar roof is actually a aluminum patio cover and so in true trailer trash outdoor decorating it is covered with an automobile wrap with palm trees to cover the support post on the corners and the aluminum roof is covered with vinyl wrap palm fronds and it has aged and is starting to come loose and fall off the aluminum patio cover and it is tacky as hell and cheap as hell and everyone here is crabby and tacky and tan and wrinkled and drunk as hell so they don’t really pay any attention to the surroundings because everyone is so drunk they really don’t care what anything looks like as long as the liquor keeps flowing and it looks like everything did here back in the 50’s because that’s when they built it all and I guess nothing has changed and this place looks dated and needs a facelift and it is rough as hell and just hard as a rock here doing time on the Rock just like Randy Fucking Us over Gibson and AJ Laird will be doing soon for the murder of the Bale Chaser in Destin FL where they shot him deader than shit and then drug him out to the deep water and cut the line and feed him to the sharks so you want to watch out for those two or they will do the same thing to you and I am here on the Rock at my first stop and it is the Crabbiest Bar of all and it’s Crabby Bills and he is still alive and he is the Bale Maker here and has laundered money from his fish smuggling operation here and has built a huge restaurant franchise and so he is going down and all those horrible restaurants that are called Seafood Restaurants but are really just a place where you order Seafood but get a plate full of French Fries will all be closed and hopefully replaced with a place that serves fresh fish and they can’t even fry a fucking chicken wing at Crabby Bill’s and the Bartender will tell you to order the chicken tenders because they are too stupid in the kitchen to know how to fry a chicken wing so just order the chicken fingers because they are like fish and they can fry fish and French fries and that’s about all and so they are all going down and the whole restaurant franchise is called the Crabby Bill Family so they will all be closing and replaced by a restaurant that knows how to cook food and not just ripping off tourist for a large order of French Fries which is worth a dollar to me and not worth the twenty dollars they are charging so look for that coming up very soon and they do have Jumbo Royal Red Shrimp here that they steam and those are excellent but I order them fried.

There is a sign out front that has a daily special on it so here’s what happened when I ordered the daily special.

Blow Fish: I would like to order the Amberjack please.

Crabby Tiki Bartender: We don’t have Amberjack but we do have Chicken wings but they always come out undercooked so if you want chicken wings then I would order the chicken tenders and not the wings because they can cook the tenders but they can’t cook wings and they will come out raw on the inside and everything we have is fried except for the Royal Red Shrimp which are steamed and we can’t fry those because they only come out steamed.

Blow Fish: I would like to order the Amberjack the special of the day.

Crabby Tiki Bartender in the Wonderbra: We don’t have Amberjack whatever that is so and I am your personal bartender so please only place your order with me and stand right there and stay away from those hornie as hell waitresses or whatever they call themselves because they only want to have sex with you and I want more than that from you and I will be right back.

Blow Fish: I would like to order the Amberjack please.

Crabby Tiki Bartender Number 2: We do not have Amberjack or any Amber Beer at all so what else can I not get you?

Blow Fish: The Amberjack is the special of the day and it’s out there on that huge sign out by the street that says Special of the Day and it’s been the special of the day for 3 days now so go get the fucking manager over here and lets see if he can take my order.

Crabby Manager: Yes we have Amberjack so do you want that with french fries because everyone loves our french fries so that will come out with a huge pile of fries with a little piece of fried fish hidden under the huge pile of french fries.

Blow Fish: No I do not want it with french fries and I know you can’t blacken the fish or cook it cajun style and you don’t even know what that is so just chargrill it and I know it will come out dry as hell and the worst grilled fish I have ever tasted and I do not want a plate full of french fries and you don’t have any other sides so just bring me a side salad with ranch dressing unless the only salad dressing you have is the Harbor Dock salad dressing and no one wants an Asian salad dressing so I want fucking ranch dressing

and I know that Jumbo Royal Reds are better steamed and I know not to overcook them or they get tough so do not over cook them and the white shrimp that you fry aren’t jumbo shrimp and not worth eating so don’t give me any fucking shit I want the Royal Reds and I want them fried with tartar sauce with tobacco mixed up and I don’t want any shit from you bunch of crabby assholes that don’t even know what the Special of the Day sign says so tell those lazy assholes back in the kitchen to get busy and don’t spit on my food or I will send it back and make them cook it again you bunch of Crabby assholes! So you can get the Royal Red Shrimp prepared anyway you want you just have to know how to order them properly and insist on having it your way like you’re at fucking Burger King or something and they have fresh octopus on Indian Rock Beach for some reason and that is a great dish and only available here on the Rock and Crabby’s has Chargrilled Octopus on a garden salad and the price is reasonable and that is the best thing on the menu and the healthiest item on the menu as well because it’s not fried and I order it double octopus which is the whole damn Octopus and it is almost too much to eat and you could split it so try that and everything else is fried and they can’t even cook Hot Wings properly so don’t order those because they will come out bloody on the inside and who can’t fry a fucking chicken wing and that would be a bunch of fucking crabby assholes back in the kitchen and they have live music and the party goes on all day and all night and all week and all weekend and never stops and they are even open late night and serve a late night breakfast and this is the party bar on the Rock that looks like a trailer park so don’t be fooled by the appearance from the street it really is a restaurant and a bar and not a trailer park with a yard sale crowd hanging out drinking beer in roadside rest stop and the waitresses in the bar fight over me with the female bartender in the wonderbra who tells the waitresses that my ass belongs to her and stay away from him because she saw me first.

Waitress Dancing on the Picnic Table like a Stripper: Hey I know you do you remember me so what are you drinking Sweetie?

Crabby Tiki Bartender in the Wonderbra: You need to leave him the hell alone. I will take his order and stay away from him I saw him first so I have first right to his ass and I have plans for him in the future and all you want to do is have sex with him and I have seen the way you look at him so stay away from him and stop speaking to him his ass belongs to me so leave him alone and I am not telling you again stop looking at him like you want to have sex with him.

Waitress Dancing on the Picnic Table like a Stripper: I have looked at him like I want to have sex with him? What are you talking about I know him and I will talk to him anytime I want to, he is my next door neighbor and so I have to speak to him and I am going to have sex with him and don’t tell my boyfriend because he will kick me out of his house and then I will move into Blow Fish house so I can walk to work and don’t have to drive and so I am going to dance up here on this picnic table like a stripper right in the middle of the outdoor dining area of the restaurant so he will take me home and screw me and there is nothing you can do about it.

Blow Fish: Is she dancing for me or the whole outdoor restaurant?

Crabby Waitress: I think she is dancing for the whole damn restaurant.

Blow Fish: Crabby Bartender I would like to order a round of Patron for the whole damn bar and that includes you and the other bartender in the Wonderbra and the waitress or whatever you people call yourselves and that goes double for the Waitress Dancing on the Picnic Table like a Stripper and I think she just may have done some stripping before and you know she is my next door neighbor and will be having sex with me without her boyfriend finding out.

Crabby Tiki Bartender: I think she is trying to piss off my co-worker the Crabby Tiki Bartender in the Wonderbra with the “I’m Crabby As Hell” T-Shirt on who has told her to leave you alone because she thinks your ass belongs to her and she is serious too and Crabby as hell today!

Blow Fish: Well set up those shots and let them fight it out because I won’t be here long enough for them to catch me because this place looks like a fucking trailer park and who the hell builds a Tiki Bar out of fucking aluminum and covers it with vinyl and I will answer that myself some Crabby asshole person named Bill that is too fucking cheap to hire a bunch of Seminole Indians to come up here and build a proper Tiki Bar and why isn’t this fucking place on the water? It isn’t on the Gulf of Mexico so it isn’t beachfront and it isn’t on the Intercostal Waterway so it’s not waterfront, it’s just on the side of the fucking road like a damn trailer park so you have an aluminum Tiki Bar covered with fucking vinyl with palm fronds printed on it and this is the tackiest place I have ever seen in my whole life just like in that Jimmy Fucking Buffet song about all this trailer park trash where he sings “I wish a hurricane would come along and blow them all away to Fantasy Land” but we aren’t even in the Keys so I guess it would have to be blown over to the right to Fantasy Land and not up so where are those shots and keep em coming. Let’s have another round and a double for the waitress dancing up on the picnic table that is taking her clothes off to piss off the Tiki Bartender in the Wonderbra and a double for that guy trying to place the guitar that thinks he is Johnny Cash that tells those funny stories like…

Guitar Playing Man: I have a tip jar up here and I am collecting contributions to pay my child support so I can see my children again and you know I just got my drivers license back so I can drive again so that’s not good and I am also trying to buy my Grandmother an operation bless her heart she has always wanted to be a C cup her whole entire life and right now is a Triple D with her tits hanging down to her knees and can’t stand up straight so please donate for her breast reduction operation and I had a Middle Age woman in here the other night and she asked me if I was interested in a Threesome and I said well sure and she took me home and we walked into her beach condo and she screamed wake up Grandma I got a live one here for you.

Blow Fish: Like I have said before if you met me and you think I am a nice person and you start sharing with me and admitting to committing a bunch of crimes or weird shit like this you just might find it plastered all over the internet so you better watch out what you say to me here on this fantasy blog where nothing is real but based on facts where all of the names have been changed to protect the innocent but no one here is innocent because the are having three-way sex with someone’s Grandmother where this is just an expression of my Free Speech protected by the Third Amendment of the US Constitution and if you don’t want to hear about Three-way Sex with someone’s Grandma then turn to another Senor Citizen porn site and leave this my expression of my Free Speech and your perverted confessions alone and stop being so fucking Crabby and take off that damn Wonderbra and get up on a picnic table and shake that thang. So I didn’t find the Bale maker at Crabby Bill’s. It would appear that Crabby Bill went out and hauled something in on a boat but it wasn’t bales of marijuana and he sold it in the Fish market next door and then bought the gift shop where the restaurant is now and remodeled it into a trailer park with a roadside rest stop and called it the original Crabby Bills and then built a restaurant chain of Crabby Bills but isn’t the Bale Maker at all and so I have to continue my Tiki Bar Tour in search of the Bale Maker.

And so I had to stop going in there because the waitresses there want to live on the Rock in my Beach Townhouse so they can walk to work and not have to drive and have sex with a man all night long because they can’t find a straight man so they just have sex with their roommate who is now their girlfriend which is really their wife but acts like their old lady and a fucking bull dike and their old lady gets pissed when they have sex with me and throws a fucking bitch fit and there’s a cat fight which brings me to the next stop where the employees are even crabbier than at Crabby Bills and they are just plain out Grumpy as hell and get rude and there are a bunch of little young thangs working in there and they are waitress or whatever you people call yourself and they are on me and they aren’t allowed to come over to the bar where I am sitting and speak to me so I am staring at them and they are walking back and forth and staring at me and going back into the kitchen and saying he is mine and I saw him first and then their co-workers or whatever you people call yourselves say that I saw him first and he is staring at me and he wants to have sex with me and not you and no he is staring at me and I saw him first or he starred at me first so I have first claim on his ass and he belongs to me so leave him alone or he could be staring at both of us and then they finally caught on and figured out I was trying to have sex with both of them and they laughed and I have a caller so go ahead Gordon Head Henchman.

Gordon Head Henchman: Blow Fish, Gene Luciano has requested that I call you and get your GPS location so we can come up there and relieve you of your life so please tell me where you are and keep it simple because I am a simple minded fool.

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch I called you from Gordon my Head Henchman’s cell phone and you still stole my caller id or his caller id in midsentence and what did I call you for? Oh yea, where the hell are you Blow Fish you son of a bitch I am coming there to wherever you are and blowing your Blow Fish brains out of your head all over your sailing yacht so where are you?

Blow Fish: Geno I am in the middle of a Bale Maker investigation that involves the closing of a Tiki Bar so stop interrupting me and asking me to repeat myself. I wish you criminals would stop asking me the same questions over and over so read back and catch up and see if you can catch me and I will see you later.

Gene Luciano: Ok Blow Fish you son of a bitch I see you are at Crabby Bills so I am on my way and I am bringing Gordon my Head Henchman with me and we will be planting your Blow Fish asshole in the Collier County landfill by the end of the working day today and so I will see you then.

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Blow Fish: So Crabby Bills is going down and then my next stop is even crabbier than the last stop and they are just Grumpy as Hell and it is called Guppies which is obviously a small portion of swordfish called a select cut and that is where Harbor Docks catches a swordfish and sells the select cut or the better part of the fish to Publix up north and then sells the worst cut of fish at it’s Restaurant location in Destin FL where according to Charles Morgan you the stupid redneck customers and your family on vacation can’t afford the better a better cut of fish so you get served a horrible piece of fish but not at Grumpy’s because here you get the choice cut and it is so small it is called a Guppy Special and which means “a small portion of fish that makes you Grumpy as hell” because after you eat here you are still hungry.

Grumpy Gay Manager: I am concerned that you have had a few Crown Drinks from the Handle of Crown and where you are going from here and how you are getting there?

Blow Fish: Now I have just said do not ask me to repeat myself I am going from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar looking for the Bale Maker and if you want the answer to your question then you will have to read back to Day One and catch up and you better hurry or you will miss something like the fact that you are gay here on the Big Show and if you must know I have an Uber Driver standing my and do not need you or your help getting to my next Tiki Bar and not interested in a Gay experience with you and I will not repeat myself again and so it’s none of your fucking business and I may be riding home with your sexy as hell busty Bartender with the Biggest Boobs on the Rock here if I can tear her away from her Lesbo Barback Girlfriend that thinks they are married.

Lesbo Barback Girlfriend: Now look a here I have to walk back to the kitchen and get something and I want you waitresses or servers or whatever you people call yourself to keep an eye on this Blow Fish fellar here because my wife thinks they are going to hook up and have sex so keep an eye on her and him while I am gone and don’t let them hook up and have sex while I am gone and I will be back in a minute.

Blow Fish: Well you can take your time Lesbo Barback Girlfriend because when you get back I think you will find that your wife isn’t actually your Lesbo Wife anymore and actually turning heterosexual again and hooking up with my Blow Fish asshole and moving out of your house and staying with a married couple until she seduces me and then moves into my Indian Rock Beach Townhouse where she can walk to work and not have to drive and have sex all night with a man for a change so you can just take your time because when you get back she is getting your asshole fired for being such an arrogant asshole and embarrassing her in public.

Bartender with the Biggest Boobs on the Rock: Well how are you and how have you been and where have you been and where are you going next and who are you taking with you and where are we going later and have you noticed I have the biggest boobs on the Rock and I am bending over pretending that I am picking up something under the bar right in front of you so you can’t miss the fact that I have the biggest boobs on the Rock.

Blow Fish: Well yes those are a beautiful rack of big ole fat titties and I thought I would try the Swordfish Special and there are two of them and they are almost identical and nothing changes here on the Rock and everyone gets so Grumpy and I think it’s because their portions are so small but not the Busty Bartender because she is a full portion and has the Biggest Boobs on the Rock and I recommend her highly and for my Restaurant Review here at Grumpy’s on Indian Rock Beach I recommend the Bartender with the Biggest Boobs on the Rock or either of the Sword Fish specials because they are both about the same and the Grumpy salad but don’t come in here hungry because the portions are so small like a little Guppy and if you’re hungry then you will be Grumpy’s so don’t come hungry and that’s my Restaurant Review for this day of the Big Show at Grumpy’s on Indian Rock Beach.

Bartender With the Biggest Boobs on the Rock: Well I will get that right out and can I get you another drink and would you like to hang around till closing because I am so Horney and I am showing you my big ole Boobs and there I will bend over in front of you so you can get a really good look at them and I get off at 10 and so I will bend over again so you can look at my huge Boobs that are real and they sag and don’t they look wonderful and I look sexy as hell and there I will just bend over again this time I will arch my back and stick my ass up in the air and you probably want that too don’t you and I am bending over and sticking my ass up in the air because I want you to give it to me in the ass and my girlfriend can’t do that so I got her fired and have moved on and out on her place and living with a married couple and waiting to move into your Beach Townhouse where you can give it to me every night all night long like only you can do.

Terri Lynn: Now I know that is about me so I am headed down there I will be there as soon as I can because I can’t wait another minute if I don’t have sex with you I will go insane and you know I do go completely insane so I am on my way.

Blow Fish: Now hold on there I do not have time to deal with you and your dysfunction so please do not interfere with this my Tiki Bar Tour investigation of the Tiki Bars of the West Coast of Florida and just stay there and leave me alone.

Bartender with the Biggest Boobs on the Rock: So will you be having dessert tonight because we have great deserts and that would be my Restaurant Review today at Grumpy’s on Indian Rock Beach so what will you be having for dessert tonight besides me down on all four with my big ole boobs hanging down and my ass up in the air like this?

Terri Lynn: What the hell is this bitch talking about I am the only one that will be sticking her ass up in the air unless you just want me to join in with the two of you for a threesome and then Maurice will want to film the whole affair because he just likes to watch so I am bringing my Professional Camera and we are on our way.

Blow Fish: I said leave me alone and my Tiki Bar Tour alone I am trying to work here.

So I am just fucking with them by staring at the young waitresses while I am sitting at the bar and letting the Bartender with the Biggest Boobs on the Rock hit on me like we are out on a date and that is what it is like when I go in to eat at a Restaurant with a Bar with a hot bartender because they believe I am in there to see them and we are on a date and they always say well I had a good time tonight thank you and when will I see you again and I get off at 10 and The Guppy is the name of the Bar and Restaurant and if you aren’t a fisherman and you don’t know what a Guppy is well it is a small fish and it is too small to eat and all the protons here are too small to eat and they have a small portion section on the menu and so I would not recommend that you order a small portion meal in a restaurant where the normal portions are too small to eat like the fish that is a Guppy that should have been thrown back until it was legal size before it was hauled in and cooked and served and the place is called Grumpy’s because they are so Grumpy there and I think it’s because no one is getting enough to eat so if you go there do not bring an appétit and I am in here to set up the Bartender and see if they over serve their customers so I can report back to you and someone will go in there and take away their liquor license and the manager was concerned how I was getting home and that is their responsibility and so they are a good restaurant and have a great menu and it’s a beautiful building and they have the Biggest Boobs on the Rock and isn’t that all we really care about anyway.

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch would you get back to work. I didn’t tell you to go into a restaurant called Grumpy’s and take over the bar and the bartender now stop that Bow Fish bull fish and get back to work or I will come to where you are and put a bullet in your Grumpy Blow Fish head so get back to work and I mean it.

Blow Fish: Now Geno I am doing the Lord’s work here and about to have sex with a Busty Bartender with a X Lesbo Girlfriend that is about to kill me and throw my Blow Fish asshole in the dumpster out back so I am doing your work so just be a little more patient and allot less Grumpy and let me finish what I have started here and so I am back to my Tiki Bar Tour where I was so rudely interrupted by an old asshole Italian Ape Shit Grumpy Asshole.

Gene Luciano: Now I know that was about me and I will be up there and take you out and blow your Blow Fish brains out and throw you in the dumpster and I guess that Lesbo Barback may be about to do that so I will just wait and settle down and try to remember that I don’t always get what I want when I want it and sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and count to a hundred before I take any actions and say something I may be sorry for later…

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch you stole my caller id right in the middle of my thought process and now I am so confused and don’t know what I was saying and oh yea it was Blow Fish you son of a bitch get your ass back to work and stop all this Blow Fish bull shit or I will come to where you are and where are you again I can’t remember?

Blow Fish: Now I will not repeat myself if you have a question or need to know where I am you will have to read back to Day One and find the answer for yourself and find out what part you are playing in this fantasy blog where nothing is real but based on facts so read back and catch up or you won’t know when Geno here goes to jail so if you want to know if you are going to jail you will have to read back to Day One on the Big Show and see if you are going up the river to the Big House and then read the newspapers or watch CNN and then when you hear that you were are arrested then you have gone up the river and are in the Big House and that’s how you will know so please do not ask me to repeat myself again and read back to Day One and catch up because I will not repeat myself so please stop asking me to and where was I and I am on my Tiki Bar Tour of the West Coast of Florida and going from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar and I was about to have sex with a Busty Bartender with a Lesbo Barback X Wife who thinks the love of her life is still Bisexual but then I walked in the door in my Blow Fish attire looking like a million dollars and she hasn’t been with a man in years I bet and so back to the action and here we go…

Well the best item on the menu is the Sword Fish and it’s a choice cut which means they take the best part of the fish at Harbor Docks in Destin FL and sell it to Grumpy’s in Indian Rock Beach FL and the Hillbilly Fags Gang serves the worst part of the fish to their customers in Destin FL and Georgia and Alabama at all the Harbor Docks Restaurant chain because that’s how Gay Charles rips off his customers and then he takes the profits from those business and sends it to an Offshore Bank account in the Bahamas and that’s how he rips off his partners and managers and soon the Russian Mafia is going to catch him ripping them off and they will be cutting Gay Charles up into small pieces and feeding him to the sharks in the Bahamas.
Gay Charles: Yes we sell the better cuts of meat to other restaurants that can afford to pay top dollar for the best part of the fish and then we serve the scraps to our customers which can’t afford to pay full price and don’t care about quality because thy are just a bunch of cheap asshole rednecks anyway and that is how I have gotten so rich and if you don’t like that or have a complaint then my staff has been trained to deal with you because we never call the police because we are a Mafia Restaurant and we always deal with our security issues in-house and that’s how a Mafia Restaurant deals with troublemakers like a customer with a complaint and so we will be drugging you and having you arrested at the next restaurant or bar you go to but not here because we never have a problem here at Harbor Docks. We follow you to your next stop and have the bartender there call the police and say you are drunk but you have been drugged and causing problems and they have refused to serve you and then when you walk out they have you arrested and thrown in jail and have you prosecuted where you spend a year in jail and if you aren’t killed in jail and I am not saying you won’t be killed in jail but if you aren’t then we will do the same thing to you in the next county and then have you thrown in jail there as well and then thrown back in jail in the first county on a violation of probation and then you will end up being in jail forever and you will have to leave town when we are finished with you so don’t give us any trouble or complain about the quality of the food or we will ruin your life.

Blow Fish: That public service announcement was provided by the Harbor Docks Restaurant Chain where they have a sign in the restaurant that clearly states “Eating seafood could be hazardous to your health” so you have been warned and I would not go in there if I were you, just let them run their drug smuggling and prostitution ring and their Gay Brothel with their Gay Apparel sales and eat at a safe Seafood Restaurant where you don’t have to worry about your safety being threatened by the Harbor Docks Restaurant chain and check out all of their locations online on their website so you don’t accidently get harmed by eating at one of them because they are everywhere and now back to our previously scheduled programming and so at Grumpy’s on Indian Rock Beach and don’t make me repeat myself and so a Guppy is a tiny little piece of Sword Fish meat which is nothing like you sweetheart my Bartender with the Biggest Boobs on the Rock because you are more than a mouth full for sure and beautiful and horny as hell and I am tempted to stay right here and tear that pussy up like ground round like Greenburg does and he is the Sex Expert here on the Big Show and if you don’t know what that’s about, read back to Day One and stop asking me to repeat myself and I will not stand for another interruption and where was I? Oh Yea I was tearing up that pussy like ground round and she was loving it because she is so Horney because she hasn’t had sex with a man in years like all the woman here on the Rock which have been sleeping with their roommate girlfriend that is like their wife but they are still bisexual but their wife won’t let them have sex with a man so they are actually Gay and a Lesbo Whore but they are horney as hell to be fucked by Blow Fish but I have to move on with this my Tiki Bar Tour so I will just have the Swordfish sweetheart and pass on the pussy for now and the Swordfish prepared one of the two ways you guys prepare it here because they are both about the same and they are both excellent and that would me my Restaurant Review for Grumpy’s on Indian Rock Beach where everyone is Grumpy as hell from Life on the Rock or from the size of the portions so you go by there and check it out for yourself and if you are still hungry after you eat there just like I was then we will take care of that at my next stop on this my Tiki Bar Tour of the West Coast of Florida which takes me to my next stop and I have a caller.

Crabby Bill: What are you talking about me laundering money at my Seafood Restaurant franchises and calling me the Bale Maker here on Indian Rock Beach you must have me confused with the Salt Rock Restaurant chain they are the Bale Maker here and not me.

Blow Fish: I know that and that’s my next stop and you have blown my announcement and so I am deleting this whole conversation and I wish you criminals would stop calling in and snitching on one another and so as I was saying my next stop is the Rock Salt Restaurant and go ahead caller.

Crabby Bill: Well I am Crabby as hell now. I do not appreciate you hanging up on me and where were you raised in a barn because where I come from we were taught to wait until the other person says goodbye before you hang up.

Blow Fish: Well I am the other person and I know where you are from and it’s New Jersey and we don’t need you here you are a terrible cook so go home and I am the other caller so Goodbye.

Crabby Bill: I want to know what you are talking about closing my restaurants when I haven’t smuggled any bales or laundered any money and just a fisherman and a fish cooker and I do like French Fries and I am sure everyone else does as well so why would I have to close my restaurants because I serve French Fries?

Blow Fish: Because you are laundering the money that you ripping off from the tourist by opening another restaurant location where you rip off the tourist and then launder the money by opening another restaurant location and that was called being an entrepreneur but it is now called being a money launder so you are guilty as hell of that and you are old as hell and crabby as hell and you have admitted to that so confess to the money laundering and I don’t need your confession I have your tax return right here and your bank statements and it’s obvious what you have been up to and so I am protecting the stupid tourist that are too cheap to eat at a good restaurant and they just eat a bunch of French Fries at you restaurant and cheap beer and so I am closing you down and then the tourist will have to learn to eat better and healthier and spend a little more for a healthy meal at Keegan’s for instance that has a lovely Grilled Fresh Fish Special or two and a Chargrilled and also a Baked Octopus which both are excellent and an entertaining Skank Whore Blond Waitress or a server or whatever she calls herself and it’s a dart thrower and a beer drinker and she just loves to drink beer when she gets off work in just a few minutes as she tells me and heads to my next stop.

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So if you are still Grumpy after only eating a guppy which is a small fish then we can take care of that at the next stop here on this my Tiki Bar Tour when we walk a block down the street so Uber driver I am walking so stand by so when I want the best seafood on the Rock or Indian Rock Beach and want to be entertained by a Shank Whore Blond waitress then I always go eat at Keegan’s and I am never disappointed here and lets see what the Skank Whore Blond Waitress is up to tonight and they also have a very pleasant Blonde Waitress that works here and everyone is very pleasant and not grumpy at all so it must be the portions at Grumpy’s that are making them so miserable or the lack of sex here living on the Rock and the Owner of Keegan’s works as the Bus Boy at times and will sometimes sit down beside me at the bar and have dinner as well. There is a waitress there that is crazy as hell and I have seen her go into the restroom and cover her face with all the make up that she has in her purse until she looks like a paint by number work of art and comes back out looking like a totally different person and she is on me the whole time I am in there and then there’s another blond waitress who is very nice only the Skank Whore Blond Waitress gets on her nerves and she cannot believe some of the things she does to get my attention and they fight over me but the food is great and the specials are always great and they also have Octopus and they have a baked dish with garlic and feta cheese and then a charbroiled octopus and they are both excellent and you would not want to miss this restaurant if you are ever on the Rock.

red-lion-2

The next stop is the Red Bar as I call it only it has a Lion in the name and I will just call it a House of Ill Repute and that’s what it is and there is a woman there that calls herself a bartender who is a Gay Lesbo Prostitute and a Male Bartender that calls himself a Pimp and a Male Prostitute that calls himself a Faggot and has a social disease which is the clap or something and he told me about it and I said that doesn’t sound good and I think that a male prostitute that is selling himself to both men and women shouldn’t be spreading a social disease around so there is a Prostitution Ring working in the bar and I heard the head bartender say and I quote him “If you want to buy sex in here you have to go thru me.” So if you are a man looking for a woman or a man looking for a man or a woman looking for a younger man or a woman looking for a woman then he will hook you up and they are not shy about it and it’s right there in the open and when the gay young man told me one night that he had the clap I looked at his gentleman friend and said that’s not good and they both laughed and so this is a rough as hell bar in a very nice quiet Island Beachtown where it doesn’t need to be so head on in there and tell Natasha that Blow Fish said Hey because she is the other bartender and she wants to move in my Beach Townhouse so she can walk to work and may not even have a car and is trying as hard as she can to do just that but that happens everywhere and you are quite special but I don’t have the time to get involved with you but thanks for all the money you spent on your clothes and your hair and new makeup and lifting up your shirt to show me you butt and your tiny waist and asking me stick around and see what happens when you get off work and thanks for explaining to me that your milk has a date and even your sour cream as a date but you don’t have a date because I did not know that women have expiration dates but now I do and this is where the locals at the north end of the Rock drink themselves to death and they drink all day and all night and I saw a guy walk out of this bar with a drink which is against the law and walk across the street too drunk to walk so they do over serve their customers here and so I have been over served there to set them up and this guy walked out on the beach after drinking all day to watch the sunset which is a daily event here all year long with beautiful sunsets on a gorgeous white sand beach and the tourist line up with their ice cream cones and there are so many of them that they block out the freaking sunset so break it up and go home and so this guy walks out of the bar and over to the beach and was stumbling around with a drink in one hand and was having a wonderful time for a couple minutes there and he finally set his drink down and tried to go for a swim and made it out into the water up to his knees and then fell over and someone called the Police and the cops are out in full force on the roads and on the beach in 4 Wheelers and this drunk guy had fallen down in the surf about the time a cop showed up on a 4 Wheeler and the cop had to drag his drunk asshole out of the water and throw his drunk ass up on the back of the 4 Wheeler and he was completely passed out on the back of the 4 Wheeler when the cop took him to a parking lot where they loaded him up in a squad car and that’s what the locals do here for some reason, they just drink till they pass out and they don’t eat and just keep drinking and he passed out after walking out of the Red Lion Bar with a drink in his hand and they do not allow you to that at the Red Lion Bar and I should know because I was given a strong talking to about doing just that as I was breaking all the rules just to see how far they would let me go which is what I do to set a Bar up and this is where the locals eat because the food is cheap and they have snow crab all you can eat which is great and prime rib all you can eat which is not good and chicken wings which are good and it’s an Irish Pub with all the Irish food items. So look for that Prostitution Ring being rounded up and I am not kidding about that because it is the responsibility of the management of the restaurant or the owner of the restaurant which is the person’s name on the liquor license to watch what’s going on in her bar and I mean Lana the owner is responsible for what is going on in her bar and she doesn’t know what is going on because she works there as a waitress and not even a manager in her own bar so something better change in there or I will come back in there and take all your female bartenders away from you and your gay male prostitutes and your head bartender pimp as well and so look for that coming up in the near future and I am not serious, because all that is called a set up and you Lana the Bar Owner are set up for allowing a Mafia Gang to come in your Bar and run a Prostitution Ring and it is actually called a sting and so watch out and don’t buy any sex in there those are all cops and it’s a set up so watch out for the Red Lion Bar being shut down for having a Prostitution Ring working in there and I kid you not so you better clean it up and watch what is going on in there and stop overserving your customers and don’t let them leave with a drink in their hand and then get arrested on the beach and don’t let them drink themselves to death and stop selling pussy and gay sex with a venereal disease for goodness sakes.

jaqx

The next bar has a sign out front that says it has been voted the Best Restaurant on the Rock and I always ignore that because it is pure bullshit because you have to pay the newspaper for that title by buying newspapers so you can vote for yourself so always avoid that and I think the place is called Jaqx’s Pizza and Tap House and the tourist fall for that sign and then eat there but not the locals and the female bartender has a boyfriend who was out fishing at night so she was going home with me and I had to get the hell out of there because that place is rough as hell and so is she and this is not a good restaurant or a good bar at all so beware and take down that fucking sign and get yourself a commercial kitchen because I don’t think they even have a professional kitchen with a commercial hood and a deep fryer and this may be just a Bar and an Illegal Restaurant and it probably is because they do not know how to cook including Chicken Wings which are baked and not fried and I do not mean the good baked Chicken Wings that are better for you than the fried ones. I am talking about the baked Chicken Wings that they warm up in the microwave that tastes like shit, so learn to cook and get a kitchen to cook in and then get a menu that isn’t all bar food and the owner and the cook had a discussion about the special the next day for tomorrow right in front of me and it involved what they had in the refrigerator which was ham and cheese and so the special was going to be a ham and cheese wrap and so buy some fucking ingredients too and a commercial kitchen and learn how to use it and why the hell don’t you Bars just stick to serving beer and leave the food to the Restaurants and so just stop serving food. So someone please go in there and take their Restaurant License away from them and they don’t have one and that’s my point the Best Fucking Restaurant on Indian Rock Beach doesn’t have a license so just close them down until they become a legal Restaurant business that isn’t ripping off the tourist for Twenty Bucks which is all they do is rip off the tourist for one of their meals while they are on vacation and this seems to be the mentality of many of the Restaurants on the Rock.

lulu

Lu Lu’s which is owned by Crabby Bills and part of the whole Crabby Family and not owned by Jimmy Buffet’s sister Lu Lu so I guess Crabby stole the name from her and it has the same food as Crabby Bills so it’s all fried fish with piles of French Fries and the Crab Legs are better at the Red Lion Bar because they are a higher quality crab leg and not the tiny little cheap ones the serve at Lu Lu’s and the Red Lion Bar is where the locals go for crab legs and there’s a Sushi Bar that’s owned by Crabby Bills and it’s called IRB Sushi and don’t even waste your time going in there they do not even have a clue what a sushi is and seem to think it is Krab with a K and cooked shrimp and the worst I have ever had and I have eaten at Nobu so I know what the best taste like and I am seroius this is the worst and it’s not fresh and absolutely terrible and then there is Jake’s Cantina a Mexican place owned by Crabby Bills which is fast food and if that’s what you are looking for then go there because it is nothing but a take-out joint and not a Restaurant in a tourist town where people are looking for a good Restaurant to take their family to on vacation and not some cheap ass horrible fast food so you should serve better food or get a drive in fucking window one or the other. Then there is a Crabby Ice Cream place next door to it but I prefer the Kooky Coconut and all of those Restaurants and Bars are a part of the Crabby Bill’s Family as they call it and he has bought up all the buildings in this one square block area just like a Mafia business does by running the other businesses out of business and running down the property values down by serving a bunch of french fries and cheap beer and all these places aren’t worth eating at and they really need to improve the quality of their food and the menu so the tourist have something decent to eat so until then just stay away from the Crabby Bills Franchice all together at all his locations and then maybe they will stop ripping you off with a plate full of French Fried Potatoes with a piece of fried frozen Fish underneath all the fries just so they can get your Twenty Bucks.

kooky

So if you want an Ice Cream Cone and I know all you tourist do then go down to the Kooky Coconut where the whole place is just Kooky as hell and you can get an ice cream cone and walk out and watch the sunset and block out the whole view of the sunset and there are so many of you people or whatever you call yourself and it’s a tourist and so there are so many of you tourist out on the beach eating ice cream cones and I guess they don’t have ice cream where you people come from because there are more ice cream parlors here than bars and that is a sad situation when there are more people eating ice cream than drinking alcohol and there are lines outside of these ice cream parlors a mile long in the middle of the winter and something needs to be done about these ice cream cone eating tourist ruining the sunsets for the locals and so I am asking you to please stop blocking out the sunset for the rest of us and move along or go back to where ever you came from and I am just kidding just walking around in herds with your damn ice cream cones blocking out the sunset and so just keep moving and don’t just stand there and block out the sunset and walk along the beach and work off some of those French Fries and Ice Cream Cones that you have been eating while you were here on vacation and get some excerize and not just stand in one place blocking out the view of the sunset for the locals and we would all appreciate it and you could use the excerize I assure you of that so move it you bunch of fat assholes and stop just standing there being rude with your ice creams cones ruining the sunsets for the important people here that really belong here called the locals.

sylce

Next stop is Slyce Pizza and it’s owned by a local builder and his construction superintendent and it has a Tiki Bar with live entertainment which is a popular spot and the interior is nicely decorated and there is a great bar with the Best Bartender on the Rock and the pizza is great but not the best which is what they guarantee that it is the best pizza you have ever had or your money back so go on in there and ask for your money back and I think they are laundering money in there so you better hurry because like Randy Gibson they may be going up the river sooner than they think.

aqua-prime

Then the next Tiki Bar and this my Tiki Bar Tour is my favorite Bar and Restaurant on the Rock and it’s Aqua Prime and they know me well there and I set them up well and they don’t over serve or have shot parties and it is quiet and almost too quiet but they do have great food and so the bartender hit on me and tried to hook up and move in so she could walk to work and not have to drive and then her girlfriend roommate wife found out about it and this is what happened.

Jamie: I do not know what has gotten into my girl friend. She has lost her mind and I think she is going insane just because I have been eating her pussy she thinks that she can tell me what I can do like we are married and gay or something and I am not gay and she has a boyfriend but she won’t let me go out on a date because I obviously belong to her so I am like her wife and she is like my husband that has another lover but I am not allowed to even have another friend so I do not know what to do so I guess I can’t go to the concert with you, I have to work anyway and I thought maybe she could go with us but she refuses to even talk about it and thinks I am trying to get rid of her and so I am sorry but it would appear that I am in a gay relationship and cannot see anyone else.

Blow Fish: Well that certainly explains the long telephone conversation where she did all the talking and you did all the listening and so I guess she straightened you out and told you how it was going to be so I understand and thank you for your honesty and good luck with this situation.

Jamie: I just don’t know why she is being so crazy we have never had a fight I usually just do what she says to do and I have never had a friend of my own and have to be around her friends all the time and so this is a surprise to me and honestly I do not want to piss her off again or she may just go crazy on me again.

Blow Fish: So you will stay with someone dominating you like that and telling you what you can and can’t do just to keep the peace because that doesn’t sound like much of a life and what happens when she kicks you out when her boyfriend moves in?

Jamie: He is already living there and not paying rent and so I am partly supporting him when I am paying half when there are 3 adults living there and then there are her 3 children and I help raise them as well because she can’t take care of all of them so I have to help out when I can.

Blow Fish: I have to tell you it sounds more like you are a maid that is paying half the rent and having to eat her pussy on top of that and something of a sex slave.

Jamie: I am not just eating her pussy I also have to let him screw me and so I am just their sex slave and being used and I think I am trapped in a bad relationship with another couple and it didn’t start off that way it was all fun at first and exciting but now it is just all bad news all the time and we need more room but we can’t afford to move because the boyfriend spends all his money on drugs and chasing other men and can’t keep a job and so he is bisexual as well and so we are all mixed up and there is no structure what so ever and I just need some stability in my life and all I do is work here and pay bills and clean up after all these other people living in my house and I need to get a place of my own but she would go crazy as hell and then we would all be mad at each other again and I can’t handle the stress so I do not know what to do but thanks for the offer and so I will just work that night like I always do.

Blow Fish: Well thanks again for your honesty and I think you should know that you have been set up by your girlfriend to show everyone around you what it’s like to be in a bisexual relationship and now she is going to kick you out and when she does you are going to lose your job and have to go home to Tampa and live with your family for a while and we did all this to make a point that when you have all these bisexual people in your life that you thought were so wonderful and you were living such a free lifestyle where you could do anything you wanted to do and they never did what they said they were going to do and always let you down and lied to you and you continue eating their pussy and they become more and more controlling and treating you like shit then that is what it’s like living in a Gay Relationship where no one has any values or morals or character and you think you can do anything you want to with no repercussions so you have been set up by this woman you think is your girlfriend just to prove that we can make all this happen and so in the future try to stay out of bisexual relationships and maybe you won’t get rejected again because those relationships don’t seem to last so try not crossing the line again and then you won’t be losing your job because you are gay and no one wants to be served by a gay server so try to stay straight and see if it makes a difference in the quality of your life because for some reason gay people are always so sloppy and nasty and can’t be trusted and if you don’t believe me then walk into a Gay Bar and see for yourself, it is filled with a bunch of dumbass white trash slobs that are unsuccessful and lazy because Gay people have weak character and are not strong and they will never rule the world so when all this comes to be true just try and learn a lesson from this experience and it is that being bisexual isn’t all it is cracked up to be and there are serious side effects like you will never have a decent successful man in your life and I mean that and so you are stuck with losers like the people you are living with now so best of luck to you and watch out for your girlfriend turning on you and kicking you out shortly after she reads this because that’s the plan so take care sweetheart!

Jamie: I don’t understand how this could all be planned. How could you do this and make her kick me out?

Blow Fish: Well you are on my hit list because you pissed someone off by sleeping with your girlfriend and not him most likely and I do not know for sure but that is probably right and then you continued doing that over and over and so you are on my hit list to show both men and women that consider themselves to be bisexual which everyone thinks is acceptable today but actually it isn’t acceptable today it’s just a small percentage of the population and it seems like everyone to you because you work in a restaurant bar around a bunch of bisexual servers and so you are on my hit list and your girlfriend is setting you up and kicking you out and your employer is going to fire you because their customers do not want to be served by you and your fellow employees do not want to work with a gay person and I have had gay employees and it always turns out terrible because they are too emotional and controlling and crazy acting and then get revengeful and just always a loser and so they will get you fired and you will have to move back home to teach you a lesson and you are on my hit list just like one these criminals on the Big Show and I am setting you up to show other bisexual people here on the Big Show that what you are doing is not socially acceptable and it is affecting your life and you are living like white trash and that’s what you are and I am sorry to say that but you are so good luck.

Jamie: But how do you know that she will kick me out.

Blow Fish: Because we have a plan and a schedule here and I am setting up hundreds of people and you are on the list and I came into your bar to set you up and you hit on me so I set you up with this situation by making your girlfriend act jealous and now all I have to say is Good Bye and that is her sign or signal to kick you out so all I have to say is Good Bye.

Jamie: Wayne Ball why are you doing this to me?

Blow Fish: I am not doing it to you I am just the one sending you this message and I am just a small part of a large organization that can put these little plans into motion and so that ends you on the Big Show and try to clean yourself up because nobody likes a dirty bird!

So if you have a gay bartender in this bar is this a Gay Bar and that is the question. What percentage of the employees does it take to make the bar a Gay Bar and there is only one employee in the Bar so I guess the bar is 100% Gay so it is a Gay Bar so get into Aqua Prime and schedule your Gay Party at this Gay Destination and I have a caller go ahead John the General Manager at the Aqua Prime a Gay Destination on Indian Rock Beach.

John Manager at Aqua Prime: Slow down there what is this about us being a Gay Destination? We are not a Gay Restaurant and Bar and our clientele is very conservative and we do not need this bad publicity so what are you talking about?

Blow Fish: You have a Gay Bartender in your bar so your bar is a Gay Bar so I am changing your Google Search so you are listed as a Gay Destination so that your business will get all the Gay Tourist in there that you deserve so stand by and I will finish this up in just a minute and you will be swarming with Faggots in there ordering crack shots and pissing all over each other and have you considered a Gay Craft Beer on tap because there is a beer called Golden Rain that smells and taste exactly like piss according to Gay Charles from the Harbour Docks Restaurant chain.

John Manager at Aqua Prime: We do not want any gay customers in here this is a fine dining establishment and why are you being so hard on Jamie, I thought you too were friends and now you have turned on her and what’s this about a hit list and take us off your list please and do not send any Gays in here, we do not want them in here and if the owners find out about this I am loosing my job and I have a family to support.

Blow Fish: Aqua Prime isn’t on my hit list and you and I are friends and I shared my Lobster Mac and Cheese recipe with you and you said you were going to steal it and put it on the menu and I do not see a Blow Fish Lobster Mac and Cheese on the menu and Jamie is the one on my hit list and she has pissed off someone and you had a Gay Bartender in there before Jamie and then you hired another Gay Bartender this Jamie woman and she is Gay so the Bar is Gay so I am listing the Bar as a Gay Destination and there will be Faggots in there any minute doing all the discussing things that Faggots do which is why we call them Faggots and so you didn’t answer my question about the Gay Craft Beer. That maybe a good drink to add to the Bar menu with all the Gays that will be flooding in there ruining your business because I know your clientele will take one look at them and leave and never come back.

John Manager at Aqua Prime: No Gay Craft Beer and no Gay customers and we only have one Gay employee and I thought she just had a female roommate and didn’t even know she was Gay and I will get to the bottom of this and get back to you.

Blow Fish: You have a faggot waiter as well or whatever those people call themselves and I guess that would be a Gay Server and I know you know about him and what about you are you sure you aren’t bisexual?

John Manager of Aqua Prime: My sexuality is my business and none of your business and when my wife and I have our separate nights out so that I can do anything I want to do and sometimes I party with my buddy the owner up at Slyce Pizza and so that is none of your business and the server you are talking about has been with us for years and we are not getting rid of him and so I guess all of this is none of your business and we can do anything we want here sexually and so leave us alone.

Blow Fish: OK that’s what I was afraid of so I will list this as a Gay Restaurant and a Gay Destination and then all the Faggots will start flooding in there on vacation and your lovely family restaurant with the exclusive atmosphere and the private party business will turn into the Gay Bar it should be so you people can hang out with people of your own sexuality and maybe it won’t be so boring in there because Gays love Show Tunes so you don’t even have to change the music they will love it and tell your owners that they have gotten what they deserve.

Owners Aqua Prime: We do not want any trouble here or with our restaurant chain and we do not need this negative Gay publicity and we will be cleaning house so that you and all our other snobby asshole customers will still feel safe and comfortable here at Aqua Prime and you will not take your business elsewhere so does that resolve this problem and thank you for bringing this to our attention.

Blow Fish: What about the Blow Fish Lobster Mac and Cheese I haven’t seen that on the menu?

Owner Aqua Prime: I checked with the chef and he says it would cost too much to prepare it and no one could afford to buy it so we cannot add that to the menu but thank you for sharing that with us and is there anything else?

Blow Fish: OK you are too cheap to serve Blow Fish Lobster Mac and Cheese and what about the Gay customers where should I send them?

Owner Aqua Prime: Send them up to Slyce Pizza they seem to all be Gay up there I mean all the owners so there is your Gay Bar.

Blow Fish: Thanks for the intel so on this my Restaurant Review for Aqua Prime do not go in there until they clean the place up and get rid of all those nasty faggot employees because I know you do not want them touching your food and then check back because they do have the Best Prime Rib on the Rock but no baked potatoes because it probably cost too much to prepare one and you couldn’t afford it anyway and that seems to be everyone’s excuse and that’s about all.

John Manager at Aqua Prime: Not so fast Blow Fish we have a delicious Rib Eye and our Grouper is like everyone else but I am proud of our Salmon and we have the best Scallops anywhere.

Blow Fish: Hold on there! You are not the one doing the Restaurant Review here, I am the Food Critic on the Big Show and you are the Gay Manager and Gay people or whatever you call yourself and I think it’s Faggots are so pushy and controlling like that Gay Charles feller and you do not have the best Rib Eye on the Rock, Rock Salt has the best Rib Eye and they have a Tomahawk and your Grouper is the same as theirs and so that is probably where you buy yours and your Scallops are too small and they aren’t bacon wrapped or seared and 1200 Degrees Chop House has the best that I have ever had anywhere so until you clean this place up and get all the Faggots out of there including the ones in the Kitchen touching the food then that will be my Restaurant Review at Aqua Prime so do not go in there until they clean the place up and enjoy your holiday party schedule with that review.

John Manager at Aqua Prime: This is not over I will call the Police and tell them you are torturing us and harassing us because our Gay Bartender won’t have sex with you.

Blow Fish: I will not repeat myself again. You will have to read back to Day One and find the answer to your questions. I have a Hit List and she is on the Hit List and I am not having sex with any faggots so please stop asking me to and this is just a Fantasy Blog that is based on facts where all the names have been changed to protect the innocent but everyone here is guilty as hell and this is designed to be just for fun and if you aren’t having fun then move on to another Restaurant Review of another Gay Restaurant or Gay Destination or to a Gay Porn site and leave this one alone because this is just an expression of my Free Speech protected by the Fifth Amendment of the US Constitution.

jds

The bar next door is JD’s Restaurant and Lounge and it is the oldest bar and has the oldest clientele on the Rock and it’s rough and they are rough and they have a Tiki Bar out back with Mexican Entertainers and you would think you were in Cancun and the crowd is rough looking as hell and then inside they have live entertainment and this guy thinks he is Elton John and I couldn’t get him to share his mic and let me sing for the crowd because he is just too big of a star and too much of a ham and so popular that he has his own fan club and this is a dive bar and I am not kidding you it is boring as hell but he thinks he is a star and this place is a dump but they have a good breakfast on the weekends out back in the Tiki Bar and the crowd is colorful at breakfast as well.

Then there’s an Italian restaurant and I don’t need anymore problems with any Italian mobsters so I didn’t bother going in there and I have a caller and so go ahead Geno.

Gene Luciano: I called Villa Gallace and told them if they saw a Blow Fish looking character in there to blow your fucking brains out and I would send them a payment but never heard back from them and they have the best prime rib on Indian Rock Beach as I have heard so why didn’t you go in there chicken shit?

Blow Fish: Because they weren’t on my hit list Geno. I am looking for the Bale Maker in the Tiki Bar on this my Tiki Bar Tour and they are just a bunch of asshole Italians and we all know what they are like so why even bother them when they are going down anyway.

Gene Luciano: So who is the Bale Maker on the Rock if you know everything about the place?

Blow Fish: Unfortunately I have to move on to the next Tiki Bar where I am looking for the Bale Maker and they are down by the Police Station so they should be able to find them since they are right next door and they also own the Marlin Darlin up in Clearwater FL where I dined next to two call girls who tried to get me to call them my dates for the evening and I do not sleep with Lesbo Whore Hookers so you were wasting your time and I have a caller and go ahead and it is my employer and please come up with something new to say Geno.

Gene Luciano: I am presently now in your area and will be making contact with you in the near future so where exactly are you Mr. Blow Fish?

Blow Fish: OK I know that tone of voice as Brevard so you have changed your caller id and I am not surprised and so you can read back as well and see where I am and then you can answer your own questions because I am not repeating myself and if that is all I have two Lesbo Whore Hookers on the hook at the Marlin Darlin which is a great place to eat and have sex with two mediocre looking whores that work the bar and all the men knew who they were and must be on some kind of a rotation and they were trying to get me to sleep with the both of them and so they are Lesbo Whores as well which would make the Marlin Darlin a Gay Destination because if you are selling Gay Sex in your bar and have Gay employees then you are a Gay Restaurant and a Gay Destination and so I am going to list you as such on the Google Search and you can’t get it off so call your Google Specialist and discuss it and all they will say is can I get your updated credit card number and that’s what Gene Luciano’s telephone marketers do for a living they call you up and ask you for your credit card number or the new number or send you an email so watch for that in the near future because that is another way that Gene Luciano makes a living is my making fraudulent charges to your credit card and here he is and what’s up fearless leader.

Gene Luciano: I asked that Brevard character to come down from the north and I am coming up from the south and so you should be dead by the end of the day and of course Brevard never lifts a hand to do anything himself so he has Bob Taylor or Tommy Taylor or Tommy Boy coming for you and Gordon my Head Henchman is with me so we will see you sooner than you think and then you will be deader than shit and pushing up roses in a landfill close to you in the very near future so hang in there we are closing in on you.

Blow Fish: Thank you so much for that update and hope you two have a lovely Mob War over my Blow Fish asshole and leave me the hell out of it and now back to the previously scheduled setup and I am too busy for these interruptions.

Bob Taylor or Tommy Boy: Stop using the exact name my mommy calls me on the internet and slandering my good name.

Blow Fish: Thank you for that confession and so I am back with the two Gay Lesbo Hookers and so if you have Gay employees in your restaurant then it makes your restaurant a Gay Restaurant and now a Gay Destination just like the Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang and I have another interruption and so Gay Charles I am saying no I will not tell you where I am and you boys are busy today and on my asshole and so I am moving on to the Salt Rock Restaurant where they have their own fishing fleet just like Gay Charles and doing the same thing he does and they are going down for the same thing Harbor Docks does.

So I am moving on which brings me to a subject that I have great experience with and that is modern day Black Slavery and I do not but I did set up one of these women in Buckhead GA and my good buddy that pervert Wayne Roberts who has screwed every fat woman with big ole fat titties in Atlanta and most of the SE of the US of A told me about a Black Woman who tried to pick him up in a bar and she wasn’t fat so he passed on her and so I found her working the Bar in the St. Regis which is where a Mafia King Pin lives that we will be discussing soon but for now I met this Black Highend Prostitute Woman in the bar at the St Regis and that Pervert Wayne Roberts had met her in another bar and he didn’t buy her story and confronted her about her cover story and then she came clean and told him her whole life’s story and I had heard about this private school before located in Buckhead GA right down the street from the Governor’s Mansion and I knew right where it was and have driven by it many times and now it has moved to another city and there was a sign out front and it was a private school in the better part of town but it was actually a finishing school for young black girls or was it and it was not and how this works is your parents load you up in the car with all your clothes and say you are going to a private school to get an education and then they make a deal with the Head Master at this private school and your parents sell their little innocent black baby girl to this Private School and drop you off and leave you there and you never see your parents or your family again and you are around 12 or 13 years old when you are still a virgin and they have a medical doctor verify that you are still a virgin and then your parents get a payment and they basically sell your ass to this school and you never see your family ever again and then you are trained to act like a lady and how to satisfy a man sexually and they do this without the girl losing her virginity so I guess you would experience every kind of sex there is including penetration but not deep enough to pop that cherry because when they sell you to your new owner or master then he gets the pleasure of that opportunity because that’s one of the big attractions here because you will be a sexually experienced black virgin around 18 years old when the school sells you as a mistress or a sex slave to a wealthy businessman and he will pay Hundreds of Thousand of Dollars cash for you and then he will send a car for you and provide you with a house and a housekeeper and a car and a driver and you will be available to have sex with your new master 24 hours a day and you will perform any sex act he wants including anal sex and S&M sex and torture and anything he can come up with because he can’t have sex with his high society wife like this and he can’t afford to be exposed and blackmailed with a prostitute the way crooks like Dean Baird set up and extort money from businessmen with photos of them having sex and so your new master will tell his wife he is going out of town or give her a sleeping pill or they have separate bedrooms and he will come over to the house that he has bought for you to live in that you think is your house anytime 24 hours a day and until then you sit there and wait for him to show up and that is your new life and you receive a salary which you will use to pay for your food and clothes and that is your life and you do not have the freedom to leave or move or travel without his permission or to choose what clothes you wear or how to wear your hair or dress or to have friends come to visit because you are owned by a rich white businessman who is your master and this is called black slavery and it is also prostitution because it is all about the sex and it still goes on today.

st-regis

So I was sitting in the Bar at the St Regis in Atlanta GA which is a high-rise hotel and condo building and these are huge luxury condo units costing around four million where it is like living in an estate home without any lawn maintenance where the super rich live in Atlanta and I was sitting at the Bar and had an appetizer and a crown drink and they have excellent food there and next door at the Lobster Bar and Chops which is my favorite restaurant and I highly recommend it and go in there and order dinner and when they ask if this is special occasion say yes this is our fiftieth wedding anniversary and then they will bring out a beautiful free desert with fiftieth wedding anniversary drizzled in chocolate right there on the plate and then the manager will come over with you life history on a little card and say well Mr. Blow Fish congratulations on another fiftieth anniversary and he never speaks to my date and has never congratulated her at all but they do get the biggest kick out of it and I have been doing that for close to fifty years now and I am kidding and maybe the manager doesn’t speak to my date because they are never even fifty years old but anyway it’s a blast and I recommend it highly so get in there and surprise them and if they don’t believe you have been married for fifty years then say well why did you ask then and so back to black slavery another subject I know nothing about and I was enjoying my drink and this beautiful black women with plastic titties was staring at me from across the bar that looks just like that Halle Berry woman and I mean her plastic titties were staring me and her nipples were erect and she stared at me the entire I was there which is not unusual when I am in my Blow Fish attire that Greenburg would call dressed up like a French Whore and I ignored her as usual to set her up and just finished my drink and then went downstairs and was waiting for my car in the valet line and then the attendant brought up my Red Mercedes SL500 and I was dressed in full Blow Fish attire which is an outfit costing around a couple of thousand and I have 20 different outfits like this and never wear one twice when I am in the middle of a black slavery investigation or setting up someone and have made quite an investment in whatever I am up to here and it’s not about the cost of the clothes and shoes, it’s about being flashy as hell and what the hell does he do and is he a movie star and these are the questions I get when I get hit on by these women and I always get “I know you are someone famous and special but just can’t place who you are” and I just always just say “Thank you for noticing”and I guess the car was more than she could handle so she picked me up in the valet line and got herself in my car in the Valet line and had her Lexus parked again by the valet and we headed to the Ritz for another drink and the whole lobby and restaurant and bar of the Ritz was filled with prostitutes and I have been told you can buy anything you want at the Ritz in Buckhead and you can so just start by speaking with the attendant in the men’s room because that’s where the dealer and the pimp is and then also check the bellman or just look in the bar. There are Black Prostitutes everywhere or either they were having a Black Prostitute convention in the hotel but it’s just business as usual and so I am sitting at a table in the lounge with this Professional Black Mistress that was sold into to slavery to the private finishing school for young black women here in Buckhead GA and she is now middle aged and her ownership has changed hands and her current owner is a real estate developer and he isn’t spending that much time with her anymore and must be paying her part-time because she is looking for another part-time owner and she is trying to con me into going with her to Spain to run with the bulls and she will pay her own way and then there was mention of a Wedding and Honeymoon in Italy because she has never been married and is saving that trip for her Honeymoon and her current master has made her a partner in the ownership of the house she is living in so in order to stay in that house and get married I guess she needs someone to buy her freedom from her current master so we need to make a date for me to come see her house in the Peachtree Corners area of Atlanta where there are huge communities with executive homes and so I visited her at her home and instead of having food in the kitchen she had bottles of prescription drugs and bottles of liquor sitting on the countertops and one nice piece of Art done by a famous rock and roll star and I can’t remember whom and then a red leather sectional sofa in the great room which we were not allowed to sit on because it is apparently not hers or hers to use either and belongs to her master and in the living room it looked like she had her mother’s living room set and it was like being in a different house and a different setting and this was where she lived and it was well constructed and in good shape but old and used and I assume her mother was deceased and left her the furniture and so we sat on a sofa and she gave me a full body massage and she was quite gentle and loving and we were working our way into the bed as she said and it was easy to figure out that she stays up all night having sex because I accidently sent her a butt text one night by mistake and she texted me back all night long while I was asleep until the next morning explaining how she was talking on the phone with T-Mobile about her cell phone service and when she got finished she would call me and then at 8 am the next morning she did call and said come on over and I guess she was going to have sex with me all day after having sex all night and there was a room upstairs that she called her office and she is only qualified to have sex and has no other skills and so I guess her office would be a sex room and the door was locked so I assume that must be the room where she has S&M sex with her master and is probably completely outfitted with everything you can imagine and she stays up all night having sex because that’s when she works and I discovered that she is addicted to prescription drugs and has a collection of hundreds of bottles of prescription drugs and I assume that some of these may be stolen drugs in her master bathroom because I have never seen so many drugs anywhere other than the drug store and there where surveillance cameras outside the house and a surveillance screen in the master bedroom so she could see if someone was trying to break in to get her and if they made it into the house and into the master bedroom there was a double barrel shotgun sitting on a chair on a pillow pointed at the bedroom door so if you wake her up when you walk in the master bedroom in the middle of the night she will blow your fucking head off and she must be paranoid from her addiction to prescription drugs and never sleeps and has an apartment downstairs that she wants to show me and I guess she wants me to live down there even though she knows I have several houses scattered around the SE and a sailing yacht in a yacht club and so she is trying to find a way to retire because soon she will be too old to be a professional mistress and her master will just kick her out and get a younger model and she will be homeless and just a prostitute working at the Ritz and if you go in the Ritz in Buckhead GA and see a black woman as beautiful as Halle Berry then that would be her and that is probably where she is trying to support herself now that no one wants her anymore and so I guess at the Private School when they promised her a lifestyle of the rich and famous they forgot to mention that one day she would be kicked out of her house without a retirement plan and this still goes on today and I will explain that but first let’s just take a side track here and go to Largo Florida to an Industrial park and take a look at a private bar there that I stumbled upon..

tampa-bay-phoenix

The Tampa Phoenix Club is an S&M club located in an Industrial Park that is a private bottle club that is only open on Saturday night. They have security in the parking lot outside the place and the are professional security undercover guards that you would think are customers but if you get too close they will run you off because you have not been invited and I know this because I rented a warehouse next door and had to deal with the parking problems on Saturday when they would have rehearsal all day long and the performers would show up for practice and walk around in the parking lot in their S&M costume when they would have rehearsal all afternoon for their performance where they beat the shit out of each other and dominate each other and whip each other until they scream and the audience watches and then gets to join in and they have dressing rooms so you can change into your costume but most of their patrons just wear their costume from home and so they have all these perverts showing up in the late afternoon dressed up in all this kinky sex attire and I saw one guy wearing a kilt and I assume he had nothing underneath and I didn’t know that was considered kinky but it must be and then a blond woman dressed up like a little girl so they could pretend to be torturing children so they are into kiddie porn and I have a problem with that so I wish someone would call the landlord up and tell her to do something about this disgusting sex parlor where they are having S&M Shows on the weekend so that myself and my customers and my neighbors do not have to be exposed to this sick shit.

Dawn Three D: Blow Fish you son of a bitch leave my fucking porn parlor alone and stop telling me how to run my porn business. How was that?

Blow Fish: Is this really Dawn the owner of the warehouse complex called the Ulmerton Industrial Mart and the founding owner of the Phoenix Club?

Dawn Three D: I was just fucking with you and trying to sound like that Gene Luciano fellow that is always calling in and saying the same thing to you and never makes any sense.

Gene Luciano: Ok who the fuck is saying that I am not making any sense and where are you and I will come to where you are and take you the fuck out and take over that S&M Club and use it in my own Porn Productions.

Dawn Three D: You do not know who you are dealing with here I will take you out if you try and come up here and interfere with my Porn Production. We have a website and have a live audience and are doing quite well here in our new location where I own the building and no one can run us out of here like they did in Tampa so I do not need your help so stay clear of my business and I will leave your business alone in Miami and we are well renown for what we do and I have never heard of your Porn Productions so we are the larger business here and I mean bigger so back off.

Blow Fish: She has the bigger boobs too Geno so you know that makes her the boss lady kind of like what happened with your wife Julie who thought she wore the pants in the family and you had to have her murdered because you were too chicken shit to do it yourself or was it because you still loved her?

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you fucking son of a bitch I am getting my gun and going to blow your fucking head off the minute I see you so where are you and I heard you have a warehouse next to this porn studio so I am coming there to take you out and take over this business that this bitch has told me to stay away from and them I am killing her if she gives me any shit at all so get ready I am on the way and I will see you soon.

Dawn Three D: I warned you asshole. I have a crew here and they are professionals and they are heavily armed and all you got is a 22 caliber so you better back off and not show up here because we are here and waiting for you.

Randy Gibson: Hey Bubba I mean Blow Fish I know you don’t like being called Bubba cause it is a derogatory statement so I am sorry and so Blow Fish where is this place it sounds like quite a show and sounds like somebody is about to get their ass whipped and I mean kicked and so does this Dawn woman really have big boobs and I mean is she hot cause I am not that far away and could be there for the show.

Dawn Three D: Mr. Gibson I have heard of you and I believe you have made enough money to buy Miami smuggling drugs but pissed it away so fast on prostitutes and cocaine so why don’t you come by and we will make you a member and you can join in the show and I will whip your ass myself so come over.

Randy Gibson: Now I don’t know if I want to get in on the act but I will head on over and only if you insist and do I wear my own costume or do you provide the costume?

Dawn Three D: I have a little pirate costume here for bad little boys like you that do not share or play well with others that have not cleaned their room or their toilet and does that sound like you?

Randy Gibson. Oh my toilet is nasty as hell so I have been super bad lately and need to be spanked so I will hurry up and don’t want to miss anything.

Dawn Three D: Take your time we are here 7 days a week doing private shows so you are on the schedule for one so anytime is fine with me just give me a call when you are pulling into the Industrial Park and I will meet you there.

Blow Fish: Now hold on I thought you were only open on Saturday night when the Industrial Park was empty so no one would know what was going on in there?

Dawn Three D: I can open any time I want and torture anyone I want and do not need your approval or your help in running my torture chamber.

Greenburg: He is always criticizing my sexual style as well and he never keeps his mouth shut and lets me do what I want to do with whom I want to do it with and thinks he is in charge of my sexuality.

Blow Fish: Now Greenburg you are the sex expert here on the Big Show and I am the one that knows that an order of French Fried Seafood shouldn’t cost over Twenty dollars so you tell me if what she is doing here in this dungeon is right or not and if she should be charging tourist to watch and then another charge for joining in the sex?

Dawn Three D: Now that’s not how it works we do not charge for joining in the sex and we say there is no sex but who really knows unless you are a member and those people are sworn to secrecy or we kick them out of the sex club and so they will never discuss it with say 60 Minutes.

60 Minutes Reporter: This is Dan Rather with 60 Minutes and I am at the Phoenix S&M Dungeon of Torture here in Tampa FL as they call it and we are about to see what all the fuss is about and see if this Blow Fish fellow has exposed an illegal sex ring running prostitution here in a warehouse or are we just looking at a live S&M Sex Show so the cameras are rolling and I assume this must be Randy Gibson the bad little pirate boy and his Mommy is played by Dawn with the Triple D boobs and so as the action starts Randy is getting some whipping done on his little pirate booty and he is smiling like it feels better than worse and so Dawn seems pissed off that he isn’t feeling the pain she is inflicting on his little pirate booty and now she has increased the level of pain and now Randy Gibson is having to grin and bare it and he is looking a little under the weather like he is going to be sick and there it goes Randy Gibson has sprayed the whole audience with his sperm and they are wearing raincoats like at one of those Gallagher shows where he smashes the watermelon with the big hammer but this time it was smashing Randy Gibson big ole pirate booty and then him squeezing out a load on the Live TV audience and now he gets a turn at Dawn’s booty and she is well equipped and now Randy Gibson looks like he is ready for revenge and he is taking a swing and crack she really got hit hard this time and I have heard that Gibson can get a little rough and there he goes again and I think that someone needs to calm him down and then another and another and another and I believe he has beat this poor woman to death and it is confirmed that Randy Gibson is a murder right here on 60 Minutes and I believe he is facing the electric chair on this murder rap and possibly the same on the murder of the Bale Chaser and the Police are taking him into custody as I speak right here on Live TV so check back to see that episode when we air it this Sunday night and we have now had a live murder filmed on TV and they said it could never be done but it has been done here on the Big Show and the audience is going crazy and I am getting out of here before they murder me and we are out of here and cut!

Blow Fish: That was unexpected when Randy Gibson just went insane and I have heard that is what he does and so we have live footage of this murder for my audience to see this Sunday night on 60 Minutes and also here on the Big Show so I will attach it at the end of the show today and wait a minute that wouldn’t be in good taste so you will have to catch it on 60 Minutes because they have no taste what so ever and if they did they would catch the Where is Waldo Gang so replay the Where’s Waldo Show you did and then go back around and interview those people again that wouldn’t talk before the Where’s Waldo Gang was arrested so I am challenging the 60 Minutes Show to replay the first show and then after the arrest of the Where’s Waldo Gang which is an anonymous name and then interview the people that will come forward and you will really have a good show this time because the one before sucked big time and now you will have something to report. So look for the new Lake Lanier Boat Bandit Episode coming up soon on 60 Minutes.

I hope Randy Gibson gets a really comfortable chair at his electrocution but he is no creature of comfort so give it to him hard as hell for me and all the people whose arms he has broken out there and for all the drug addicts and all your family members that have ever overdosed and died and your family members addicted to drugs that committed suicide and all the people he has displaced when he sold their property out from under them and then we will be free of one less vermin on society so back to the previously scheduled program.

So this professional black slave mistress that I set up in Atlanta had a sex room upstairs when I investigated her and she looks just like Halle Berry and so I was saying that her new master or her boss man that I believe to be this Brevard character waits until his wife’s sleeping pill takes effect and then he sneaks over to her house where he is a part owner in the corporation that owns the house and he screws her all night long in the asshole and I know that one of the big attractions is that with his wife he can’t do anything he wants to her but with his black slave mistress he can do anything he wants and so anal sex is always performed and I know she takes it in the ass because she farted once almost in my face and so that did it for me and I was out of there and then she asked me to come over one morning and I was close by and I wasn’t in my Blow Fish get up and was driving my Black Denali and wearing casual business attire which looks totally conservative and she had told me she wanted me to dress this way and that’s what I happened to have on when I stopped by and she was so excited to see me wearing exactly what she has asked me to wear and she needed my advice on a construction project she was in the middle of but she really wanted to have sex with me and get me to live in her apartment in her basement and I saw the space she had downstairs and as I have explained before when you go to work for Brevard you are in his gang and become a gang member you are working for him and you will be giving him most of the money that you make and keeping a small portion and so she must be turning tricks at the Ritz working under his protection and giving the money to Brevard and so she has built this apartment in her basement and she must be imprisoning men in her basement for this evil Brevard gangster and so she maybe torturing men in her basement to gain control of their wealth because she was setting me up for something and I don’t think it was marriage and a honeymoon in Venice because she is not the marrying kind and if she does work for Brevard then this is just another way he is making money by having prostitutes imprisoning businessmen in their basements in the exclusive communities in North Atlanta or in their own home which is his specialty and you need to watch out for this con he is running or you may find yourself imprisoned until Brevard gains control of all your wealth just like he has done to my sister in Columbus GA and I hope someone is watching her and checking on her because she will be disappearing very soon and will be lost in the mental heath system in Georgia as a Jane Doe so you can’t find her under the name of Carol Taylor.

Bob Taylor or Tommy Taylor or Whatever It Says on the Warrant: Blow Fish you need to stop trying to set my Boss Man up or you will find yourself locked up in someone’s basement and I thought we almost had you locked up in that Halle Berry’s basement so stop trying to implicate my Boss Man Brevard and set him up and we will be ending your life soon enough with the help of Gene Luciano.

baddour-castle

Blow Fish: Well Tommy Taylor we will see soon enough and so back to the subject at hand which is a person owning another person which is slavery and this particular situation is black slavery and the subject of the day on this day of the Big Show and it also involves prostitution so I met this dentist from Columbus Ohio but you don’t call a dentist that you have to call them a doctor and then my doctor friends well you just call them by their first names but if you know a dentist then you have to call them doctor because I guess they have such a bad rep for causing people pain that they call themselves doctor because it sounds less painful than the word dentist which makes allot of people think of pain but I don’t call this guy either but he does look painful and so I call him Badass because he looks like a Badass with tattoos all up and down both arms and all over his body so that when he rides a Harley he looks mean as hell just like the Badass he is but when he goes to work and those tats are covered up then he looks like a nerdy faggot and so he is living something of a double life where he owns seven dental offices in Columbus Ohio and like I said his name sounds so much like Badass that he had to change the name of his dental business to something less painful sounding and he has changed his Professional name to the name of that famous man in biblical history called Sampson with the super human strenght and he uses that name for his dental practice and he must think that is such a well loved character that all his customers will come to see him and he looks like a harmless gay nerdish looking Faggot at work and when I met him he was with a Faggot real estate agent and I do mean flaming Faggot golfer as well and I was sure he was gay as hell and he must have all his clients fooled into believing that he is just the sweetest gayish looking nerd that couldn’t hurt a fly and they must be falling for this con but there is this double life he is living because he has a huge practice and a ton of employees and they are all One Hundred Percent women and he is really a Badass and I kid you not and I know for a fact he defiantly likes pushing women around and so I have discovered that he mistreats his employees and yells at them and gives them task that they aren’t qualified to do and then expects them to complete a project that is impossible for them to do and then he yells at them and threatens to fire them and makes them cry at work because he has given them a project that they aren’t trained to do and neither is he and so he takes it out on them because he has a side business and for some reason these doctor types have a passion for building and remodeling and it’s a hobby for them or it starts that way and then it turns into a side business and then it takes too much of their time so he delegates his construction projects to his office staff which are untrained as project managers and aren’t paid to do this work and it isn’t in their job description so now Badass owns a construction and remodeling company on the side and so while he is working in your mouth he has all these distractions like side projects that are going on with phone calls to return and dead lines to meet and payments to make and deals to approve and so Badass is working in his dental offices under his alias Sampson and running a construction company on the side and it is an illegal company just like a Mafia Home Builder and I hate to inform him but he is actually a Mafia Home Builder on the side with no license, construction experience, education or qualifications and his office manger and bookkeeper are his assistants and they have no experience and the company is unlicensed and it is an illegal business and he is a Mafia Home Builder and that is what a Mafia Home Builder does, they break the law to make money by using unlicensed contractors without pulling any permits or hiring an architect and all the work that he does is not permitted and is done illegally using the cheapest material he can find and so he has bought a huge house in Columbus Ohio on the river and it has a round spiral staircase in a copalo and it is has a brick veneer front with a tutor facade on the rear of the house and so since it has a copalo he calls it a castle and so it’s the Badass Castle on Riverside Drive in Dublin, OH and he paid One point Eight Million for this place and gutted it and totally remodeled it himself as a Mafia Home Builder and he has it up for sell for Five Million and no one will pay that for it because it’s not worth it because he had all the work done illegally by unlicensed contractors without any inspections and used the cheapest products and then threw in a Marble toilet from China probably that he calls his throne and why don’t these Gay types have any taste and why are they so tacky and he lives there alone in this mansion with a beauty parlor in it where he gets his hair cut and his nails done and gets a massage and this is his life style so that sounds like gay nerd shit to me but look him up for yourself and he has a five car garage and I know this guy and if he has five garage doors then he has ten pricelist cars in there and another garage somewhere else with another ten cars that won’t fit in the other garage and so he works in his clients mouth on their teeth all day and is a Mafia Home Builder on the side and goes home to this Castle which is a mansion on 15 acres on the river near Columbus OH and I know he looks like a gay nerd but I am telling you I know this guy and we are friends or he thinks we are because I have set him up and this guy is a Badass and he has to have a dungeon in the basement where he must be torturing women and maybe men as well and he is an evil Badass mother fucker and every castle has to have a dungeon or it just wouldn’t be a castle without one and every dungeon has to have a torturer and in this case it is Badass himself and these type people not only like to torture they also like to be dominated and tortured so he must have a woman beating his little Badass and the castle has been photographed but there aren’t any photos of the dungeon on the internet because by day this guy is a gay nerd dentist by the name of Sampson and by night he is Dr Badass a Mafia Home Builder and if you read back you will see where I set up a bunch of these assholes in the Panhandle of Florida so read back and catch up and stop asking me to repeat myself because I will not repeat myself and so this Badass Mafia Home Builder living this double life isn’t busy enough in Columbus OH with all that shit and needs something more in his life if all that wasn’t enough so he has a couple of projects going on in Clearwater Florida right now.

120-gulf-blvdLike I said he isn’t qualified, has had no training and isn’t licensed to do the work and he hires unlicensed contractors to do the work and then they screw up and he has to hire another unlicensed contractor to tear out that work and do the work again and then he doesn’t pay either one of them because they are unqualified and he buys the cheapest materials and then doesn’t pay those people either and rips them off and his projects aren’t built to any building codes because permits aren’t pulled and never inspected by a building inspector and that’s how he rips off his customers by selling them a substandard home that is not built to code and homes not built to building standards and inspected by the county building departments aren’t covered by Home Owners insurance and the county building department could force the new owner to tear down and remove any unlicensed work and in this case these are beach properties and wind and flood insurance doesn’t pay for uninspected work and the State of Florida will require it be removed and then he sells the house and turns huge profits at the cost of the new home owner and this is a con that he is running where he makes you the home buyer believe that all the work was done by licensed contractors and he used the highest quality material and it is the home buyer that will pay for his shotty work in the long run and that’s what a Mafia Home Builder does just like Brevard up in Atlanta which we will be looking at when I get up there on my Tiki Bar Tour where I am sailing from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar looking for the Bale Maker and ending up in Atlanta to set up that big ole Asshole Gangster Brevard and his gang is the largest network of criminals I have ever seen but today we are in Bellaire Beach FL just south of Clearwater FL on a stretch of beach where there are no high rise condos only houses right on the Gulf of Mexico and this Badass Mafia Home Builder has bought two houses here and he has hired an illegal contractor to remodel the first property he has purchased and his company has a name and it is unlicensed and uninsured and just a front for laundering his money that he has made from his dental offices without paying income tax on it I assume and the name of this company is Baddour DDS and he has 8 dental offices making at least a million a year per office so that is Eight Million a year he has to do something with and it could be double that and so he takes the money and launders it as a Mafia Home Builder which could be illegal if he hasn’t paid tax on the money that came from his Sampson alias and if he has cheated his partners then that could be embezzlement so he takes the profits from his dental clinics and invest it in foreclosure real estate In Florida and then totally guts and rebuilds the property and he has bought a waterfront contemporary home here on Bellaire Beach in C;earwater FL Two Point Four Million and he is remodeling it illegally as a Mafia Home Builder where he rips off the material suppliers and the sub contractors and makes mistakes which waste more money because he doesn’t know what he is doing because he is a dentist and not a Home Builder and he makes up for it by not pulling permits and getting inspections and using substandard building methods that are not to building codes and using unlicensed subcontractors and then not paying the subcontractors and suppliers and so this is the other life he lives as a Badass Mafia Home Builder which is another way he makes a living and when he is this Badass Mafia Home Builder he looks nothing like the gayish nerd dentist because he rides a Harley and has tattoos all the way down both of his arms and all over his body and you can’t see this side of him when he is dressed as a dentist and he has this house on the Gulf of Mexico that he paid Two Point Four Million for and he can’t finish it so he is trying to sell it without it being completed and he has used the cheapest materials and bought the cheapest furinture and has it up for sell and listed at Four Point Two Million and if he could finished it would be worth Five Million but he makes so many mistakes he can’t afford to finish it and it has been built with substandard building methods and that is a crime and against the law and he has another house that’s across the street from the beach that he is remodeling and that project is being remodeled the same way and so he has the house on the Gulf of Mexico up for sell and here is the description…

120 Gulf Blvd,Belleair Shores, FL 33786

5 beds 4 baths 4,250 sq ft

 FOR SALE

$4,200,000

Zestimate®: $3,279,900

EST. MORTGAGE

$15,706/mo

The home is situated on a large lot overlooking the azure blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico. Being sold as is with right to inspect. Built in 1957,this home has been renovated with no money spared! Built like a fortress,the mid century modern has a Frank Lloyd Wright flair with 4250 square feet. 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, pool, over sized garage! This private listing is by appointment only call Marty

Zillow has estimated the value of this home at Three Point Two Million if it was completely finished but Badass is asking Four Point Two Million unfinished and he bought it for Two Point Four Million and he has only put around Three Hundred Thousand in the house remodeling it because he used the cheapest materials he could find and the cheapest labor but the ad says “No Money Spared” but that’s all Mafia Home Builder bullshit and he has it up for sale unfinished because he can’t get if finished because he doesn’t know what the hell he is doing and is probably in his Dental Clinic right now selling someone a Crown that they don’t need so that he can come up with the money to pay the guy that is landscaping the yard and it all looks like shit so if you want to look at the Zillow ad just google the address and you tell me if this looks like the interior of a Four Point Two Million dollar house where no money was spared or is that all bullshit and he is just a rip off con artist and it is all unbelievable and he will make One and a Half Million on this one deal that took him less than a year to finish but he can’t finish it and that’s what a Mafia Home Builder does. He rips off the home buyer and soon we will look at other builders just like this up in Atlanta known as the Atlanta Home Building Mafia.

So what does a guy with this criminal lifestyle and two identities do for fun when he isn’t practicing being a dentist and making money ripping off Home Buyers like you as a Mafia Home Builder? Well he needs two houses in Florida just to have enough room to keep all his cars that won’t fit in the two car garage at the Five Million Dollar house on the beach and I have seen a Harley Davidson and a BMW Motorcycle and a black vintage VW bug that is perfect like the kind that cost one hundred thousand dollars and then a Range Rover and a Porsche and a BMW and all of those are black which just looks Badass as hell and if that weren’t enough he has a Black and White Rolls-Royce Phantom with Red leather interior that looks Badass as hell and cost around Five Hundred Thousand Dollars. So he is the man who has it all you might say and he is single and lives alone in Ohio supposedly but there must be someone coming over for him to deal with down in the dungeon so he must be beating up on some women up in Ohio in the dungeon in his castle and these people that like to dominate people and tie their sex partners up and hang them upside down and beat the hell out of them are just like Randy Gibson who like to dominate women and he also likes to be dominated himself and be abused and beat up himself which is weird to me but these people are weird and are not looking for love and a loving relationship. They treat other people just the opposite of that and they expect to get some kind of fulfilment out of the relationship which I do not understand and they just beat up on people and they are beaten up by people and so that must be what is making Badass’s life complete because this guy is living a double life and he is the man that has everything and can’t think of anything else to buy so what does he do with the rest of his money?

Well he has gone out and bought himself the ultimate gift and it is a Black Slave Mistress and he bought her just like my Halle Berry was sold by her parents and then bought by her master up in Atlanta and when you buy this black slave girl at the age of 18 and she is a virgin and you pay Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars for her and he paid allot for this black slave prostitute that he calls a girlfriend and he calls her Mitzy and so he got to pop that cherry and she is trained in the ways of pleasing a man and that includes anal sex and S&M torture and she is probably very good at all that and she has been raised to be totally helpless and high maintenance and has to be chauffeur driven in a Rolls Royce and even though she has nothing in the world to do other than getting her body waxed and getting a massage and a manicure and her hair done, she is extremely busy and so he has to make appointments to get her to go anywhere with him like a date and so she has been trained to be high maintenance and she is dominating him like she is the boss and he is the slave and so he has to wait on her hand and foot and open car doors for her and then run around and get in the drivers door and drive her around like a chauffeur and she is his master and she must just beat the hell out of his little Badass and he must love it and she is not a small women because I prefer the more skanky looking Boob on Stick women and if I were looking to buy another human being and make her my slave she would be waiting on me hand and foot but that’s not what he needs or likes and what he obviously needs is a big boned black women with full lips and modest natural breast and some junk in the trunk and she looks like she would be Badass herself in black leather and she must really beat the holy shit out of his asshole and make him whine for more which is obviously what he has paid all that money for and what was missing in his life.

Randy Gibson: Now Bubba, I mean Blow Fish and I am sorry for calling you by that derogatory statement and I know you don’t like that but Blow Fish this woman sounds fascinating and I am still in the area and was just driving up the beach and I was wondering where I could get me some action like this?

Blow Fish: I do not have time to repeat myself Scum Bucket, if you want to know where these women come from and where you can get one for yourself then read back to Day One and then catch up or you will miss something and I would recommend that you go get yourself a woman like this at Hooters because they are free there and they are nothing but a bunch of little bisexual porn stars in a Wonderbra and just promise them implants and they will do anything for you and that won’t cost you a dime because you never give them any money anyway and that pisses the shit out of them and then they will whip your ass that much harder and that’s been working for you in the past so just go with that Randy Fucking Hooter Girls Over Gibson and that’s what he does.

So this Black Slave Mistress looks like she would just beat the holy shit out of him and have him just a coming and going and he must love it but she looks just like any average Black Prostitute to me and I guess that is what he was shopping for when he went out and bought another human being and I am not bullshitting you at all she is young and obviously a new purchase and you can still buy a black slave today and he is spending Millions a year to have sex with her and he only makes it into town every other week to have sex with her so between the cost of buying her and the car and the house I estimate it is costing him Eighty Thousand Dollars each time he screws her or each time he gets his ass beat by her and so as I explained earlier that her parents dropped her off at this school and picked up their payment and sold their baby girl to a stranger and then they trained her and then Badass here went in and picked her out of the graduating line up and choose the one best suited for the sex he prefers because it is all about the sex because there is no love here at all, it is a purchase and a business deal and so she lives in his house and rides in his car and he gives her a monthly salary which is prostitution and the purchase was slavery and it is black slavery and he bought another human being and she will live in his house until be wants to upgrade and get a newer model and then she will have to find herself another owner until she ends up like Halle Berry in Atlanta working as a prostitute at the Ritz where she has to work under someone’s protection like Brevard or one of his associates that run prostitution rings that work under his protection and I can’t believe that in our society today this still exist but it does and we will look at Black Slavery again when we get to West Palm Beach FL where there are thousands of black prostitutes that are slave woman just like Mitzy and Halle Berry here and they are owned by a Pimp who works for a Racketeer and if these black slave prostitutes cheat the Pimp or don’t work hard enough and do not bring in enough money they get the holy shit beat out of them and they beat them in the face so they can’t work so they can’t eat and can’t pay their pimp and that has been going on for centuries and it has to end so lets do something to end human slavery so these young black woman can find out that this is wrong and there are other alternatives because both of these two Black Slave Mistresses consider themselves to be living a lifestyle just like their rich master like they are his wife but they own nothing just like the black slave prostitutes in West Palm Beach and have no financial security and end up with nothing except being addicted to drugs and that’s sometimes how their life ends with an overdose or drug suicide because they don’t know what else to do. So watch out for Dr. Badass here in Bellaire Beach FL and up in Columbus Ohio where he is a Badass and a Mafia Home Builder and not a gayish nerd dentist at all.

So the question is does Badass write off his Black Slave Mistress as a business expense or as a real estate investment or does he write her off on his Mafia Home Builders tax return and there are Millions of Dollars that he has cheated the US Government out of and you the taxpayers have to make up for it and so soon we will find out when the Justice Department hears about this and investigates his finances and they already have or I won’t be exposing this and I found him and he was not on my hit list but who the fuck can buy another human being and get away with it and it’s not this mother fucker I assure you of that.

Brandy with Dr. Badass: This is Brandy with Dr. Badass’s office and I am calling to say that the Dr. does not appreciate you slandering him on the internet and if you do not stop then we will sic our team of attorneys on you and you will be tied up in court for years with all kinds of legal fees and damages so I was told to tell you to sis and desist.

Blow Fish: Would you ask Dr. Badass how he plans on writing off the Two Million Dollars a year that he spends on his Black Slave Mistress?

Brandy with Dr. Badass: He does that legally and so he does not have a comment.

Blow Fish: What about this worhtless check that that Badass gave me for almost Twenty Thousand Dollars that has bounced?

Brandy with Dr. Badass: We wrote the check and mailed it to you but we don’t put the money in that account to cover the check until we are ready for you to have the money and that is legal as well and that is how a Mafia Home Builder does business.

Blow Fish: Well I already know that’s not legal. When you mail the check the funds are suppose to be available in the account and I know that’s another way that a Mafia Home Builder makes money by not paying his suppliers and sub contractors and cheating them out of their money. So tell Badass he is going down and I will just say stop buying Black Slaves it is illegal and he is a terrible person to do such a thing and to think that it is a luxury to own another human being so all I have left to say to Dr. Badass is Good Bye!

rock-salt

So I am back on the Rock in Indian Rock Beach FL and the next stop on the Tiki Bar Tour is at Salt Rock which is a Restaurant Bar and Seafood Fishing Fleet business that operates just like Harbor Docks in Destin FL and by that I mean they have a fishing fleet just like Harbor Docks and they have another location that serves seafood and they sell their excess fish to the other restaurants in the area and they turn a profit with their wholesale fish business which is legal as long as they are paying tax on that money and not hiding it and keeping it in an Offshore Bank Account so we will see what happens when they are investigated and they are on my hit list and so they have already been investigated just like Harbor Docks.

Then we leave Indian Rock Beach and I need my Uber Driver to pick me up because we are skipping a few little problem areas that I am not mentioning but you will be hearing about them as well and one is a big problem as you will soon see and that’s all I am saying because this isn’t some heads up but you are going down so if you want to sell your house and your cars and all your other possessions and try and leave the country like you are always saying that you are going to do and then build a house on an island and then take all your wealth down to South America then you better get started because that all takes a while to accomplish and so I guess you are set up and framed as you would call it and why do you criminals always holler and scream that you were set up like you have never done anything wrong and you have done everything wrong your whole life so get ready to go down and it’s your turn for a change and that’s what you are always saying that it is your turn to go down and that’s what all the drug Smugglers like Randy Gibson tell their distributors “It’s your turn and everyone gets a turn and you have to go to jail this time and we will watch your stuff and we will watch your wife and we will sell to your buyers or users or the peoples lives that you have ruined by keeping them addicted to your drugs” and so this is what these guys always say to their distributors as they call them and then they get arrested and so it is your turn to go down so pack up all that wealth of yours that you have accumulated and run away but you can’t because you are old and lazy now and just don’t know how to run anymore so in the words of Jimmy Buffet “What has become of the likes of me” and you have too much stuff anyway so you are losing it all and going down and up the river and to the Big House and that is the end of you and so Good Bye and this is just a fantasy blog where nothing is real and all the names have been changed to protect the innocent and there is someone there that is not innocent at all and going away for a long time just like Randy Gibson and AJ Laird for something just as bad so watch out for that and if that person doesn’t enjoy the attention that he is getting here on the Big Show then just turn yourself in or move on to another website or another island because this is just an expression of my Free Speech protected by the Fifth Amendment of the US Constitution and this is supposed to be fun and so now we are moving on and down at Treasure Island in St Petersburg FL where I am going fromTiki Bar to Tiki Bar looking for the Bale Maker and not just a bunch of French Fried food and everyday on the beach there is a phenomenon and you would call it a Pub Crawl but there are only Tiki Bars here and those aren’t pubs so it is called a Tiki Bar Crawl and the crawling is being done on the beach and not on the street and so it is kind of a work out as well so you wake up and get dressed for a day of fun and sun on the beautiful white sand beach and then you start at the first Tiki Bar.

paradise-grill

Tthe locals that live to the south of Treasure Island start at the Paradise Grill which is more of a concession stand right on the beach in the sand than a Tiki Bar where they serve hamburgers and hot dogs and beer and frozen drinks and ice cream and at sunset they let a tourist ring a bell out on the beach so we stop here for the first drink of the day and the drinking starts as soon as you hit the beach.

Then we walk or crawl north along a beautiful stretch of beach and continue right past the famous Lowes Don SeCar Hotel a historic beach front hotel and the oldest one on the island where they have formal dining rooms and they do not have a Tiki Bar and certainly need one and then we come to the Undertow Bar where all the female bartenders where bikinis and they serve cold beer and liquor and they cook barbeque outside on the patio and there are people that drive here and spend the whole day on the beach and in the bar.

bongos-3

 

 

The next stop is Bongo Beach Bar and this bar is owned by the owner of the Postcard Resort bar so we will discuss him further up the beach and they do weddings here and like one or two a day and this is where Terri Lynn’s niece was married and it is at the Grand Plaza Resort which is a round hotel with a Tiki Bar with a main bar and a back bar where the locals hang out and drink shots.

Terri Lynn: I think it is called the Ritz on the beach in Tampa at least my niece’s wedding invitations said the wedding was at the Ritz and not at the Grand Plaza because for some reason no one in my family is able to tell the truth and the Ritz sounds so much better than the Grand Plaza and no one knows what a Grand Plaza is but they know they will like the Ritz on the beach in Tampa.

Blow Fish: So they had the wedding out on the beach and then the wedding reception and party was held at the back Tiki Bar and they were served dinner at the Tiki Bar and somehow thought they were in a private dining room in the Ritz.

Teri Lynn: It was a beautiful wedding but the sunset wasn’t spectacular so we were disappointed about that and the bride and groom had a shrimp cocktail and we got chicken fingers and so we were disappointed about the food and when we would go out to dance on the dance floor there was this little gate we had to walk thru that keeps the other guest from wandering into the area where the wedding party was and we had to open the little gate ourselves because there was not an attendant there to open the gate for us and I guess no one told the management that my family is like royalty and are usually treated like celebrities because it’s like we are famous and so I was disappointed that they didn’t have a servant there to open the little gate for us and we had to open it ourselves.

Blow Fish: Well you were not at the Ritz or even the Lowes down the beach which is what you were expecting where the guest down there have to walk up to Bongos to go to a real Tiki Bar and Terri Lynn has explained to me that her family is very special because when her parents go to a Nascar race they get to go out on the infield and I do not know what this word Nascar means but do know where the infield is on a baseball field but this Nascar infield must be something much grander and more important than the campground I am envisioning and on top of that her parents have been to Vegas and so they are truly special because I have never been there and Gene Luciano has a contract out on my life there and if I cross the city limits into Vegas they will blow my Blow Fish brains out of my Blow Fish head and so this Vegas place is something else I do not understand and will have to ask Greenburg to explain that place to me so I am sure he will be looking into that and getting prepared to call in and comment since he is also the Gambling Expert here on the Big Show who answers all my questions with “Why are you bothering now” so you need to come up with a better response than ‘No comment” Greenburg and so in Terri Lynn’s mind they are all celebrities and require special treatment and she doesn’t live in the real world does she and no she does not.

toasted-monkey

Next stop is the Toasted Monkey at the Howard Johnson and need I say more it’s a Tiki Bar at a Howard Johnson so how good could it be and the question is how bad could it be and avoid it completely until they are out of business and a good hotel franchise comes in and takes over the dump because I have checked it out for you and set them up because this place is run like it is in Downtown Tampa by a bunch of Cubans looking to rip off the American tourist and me and you so when you get there they will welcome you to the bar and then if you’re smart just order a beer because they can’t screw that up unless you piss them off and then they drug you and have someone roll you in the parking lot and steal your cash but I always attempt to get a good drink here and never do and so this is how it goes…

Bartender Toasted Monkey: What can I get you asshole?

Blow Fish: That’s is Mr. Asshole to you sir and why don’t you put one large chunk of ice in my glass and I do mean a glass and not that plastic Sippy cup you have in your hand and I mean a big ole ice cube and not that crushed ice from the ice machine like all you motel bars have and then fill up the glass with Crown Royal and make if Black Crown if you got it and I know you don’t and I know the bottle of crown is a mile down at the other end of the fucking bar so I can’t see how much liquor you pour in the glass or the plastic cup or if you are going to poison me so make the drink right here in front of me so I can see what the fuck you are serving me and fill up the glass and then put a splash and I do mean a splash and not a pour of ginger ale and not sprite and a splash of coke that makes it look like there is some crown in the drink and squeeze a fresh lime in the drink and not that fruit you have over there with the fruit flies on it because you didn’t wash it before you cut it up so a squeeze of fresh lime and throw the fruit away because you fucking touched it and then serve it to me and I am only paying for one drink and not three which is what you tried to charge me for last time you fucking conartist bartender and the worst bartender in the worst bar I have ever been in my life and I have been in thousands so there are your instructions and what do you say to that like I don’t already know?

Bartender Toasted Monkey: I am taking this Dixie cup and walking all the way down to the end of the bar so you can’t see what I am pouring in your drink and maybe drug your tourist asshole and I am putting a finger of Crown in the bottle of the Sippy cup which is a small plastic cup and there is about a half inch of liquor in the bottom of the cup and then snow ice from the motel ice maker that is the worst ice ever and then I am filling the cup up with sprite and then not adding a nasty slice of lime and setting that down in front of you Mr. Asshole and I will then say “ That will be Ten dollars.”

Blow Fish: I am not paying for that it looks like the worst drink I have ever had in my whole life which was what I had the last time I was in here so why didn’t you make the drink the way I ordered it?

Bartender Toasted Monkey: This is the way we make a drink. Management doesn’t allow us to make it any differently so we can rip you tourist off when you come stay here and if I had made the drink the way you wanted it would have cost Thirty Dollars.

Blow Fish: Well you didn’t give me what I ordered and I am not paying for that horrible drink that you have poured because it is the worst drink I have ever had and this the worst Tiki Bar I have ever been in ever.

Bartender Toasted Monkey: Then we do not need your business so you can leave and do not come back in here again Mr. Asshole.

Blow Fish: That’s the way my last visit to the Toasted Monkey Tiki Bar went and he refused to make me a decent drink and didn’t even try because the drink I wanted would have cost Thirty Dollars so the tourist come to stay here and get screwed over by the owner and the management when they walk to the motel Tiki Bar for a cocktail and so to get a decent drink they have to go elsewhere and so we are continuing our Tiki Bar Crawl.jimmy-bs

The next stop is the Postcard Inn Resort Tiki Bar called Jimmy B’s and I was going to report on the Bale Maker at the Postcard Inn Resort on Treasure Island in St Petersburg FL but when I got here I realized that the Police have taken over the Bar and Lounge and the Tiki Bar and the Pool Bar and now if you want anything at all you have to buy it or sell it to the Police and so I am here to set up the Po Po and that would be the Beach Po Po for setting up you and me and the poor tourist that have read that this area of the beach is the nicest area of St Petersburg Beach and if you want to party on your vacation and get lucky with a threeway then this is where you come so if you don’t believe me then just ask the bartender.

Bill the Bartender: I have two women right here that want to party and if you want to party then they do too and you will have a good time so you just have to pay me and then go with them and you will have a good time.

Blow Fish: Bill that’s your girlfriend and her Lesbo lover over there is that all you got? Those women look used up and a little old you don’t have any women that are a little younger and allot fresher looking? The Lesbo Girlfriend looks like she would beat me my ass and I do not like it the way Dr. Badass and Randy Fucking Us Over Gibson like it and want something allot sweeter and cleaner looking.

Bill the Bartender: Then you will have to ask those freelance artist over there or call someone on Craigslist and they might have to drive from Tampa because you never know where they are coming from but I got the locals lined up for you and so do you need some Pot to go with the whores?

Blow Fish: Now I thought the whores had their own drugs and when Randy Gibson buys a whore or two it comes with a gram or two of cocaine so where do I get that?

Bill the Bartender: Well I got a source but he is up the beach so I will have to make a call and get a Gofer to make a run and then I will have some here in a minute.

Blow Fish: Well I can call an Uber and get it here faster than that and they will search for hours for me I guess so they can get their money back so I am going to try one of the younger freelance artists as you call them but thanks anyway and your girl is quite beautiful but her friend is rough as hell and just looks like a fucking Lesbo to me and I wouldn’t turn my back on her she just might strap one on and then try to screw me in the asshole.

Bill the Bartender: Now we don’t do that. We have a bartender down the beach that handles all the Gay Sex on the beach so head on down to the Grand Plaza Hotel where they specialize in Gay Wedding and Gay Sex and that’s all they do so if you want a Threeway then that’s our specialty and that’s all we do here and if you want to score some weed then go next door to the Tommy Bahama Resort and they have the weed.

Blow Fish: OK then I will give that a try and then come back over and see if I can talk those two 20 year old freelancers as you call them into a threeway so I will be right back and keep my tab open please.

Bill the Bartender: Now hold on there Mr. Blow Fish we don’t do open tabs here unless you want to give me a credit card and then we will max it out by the time you get back so that’s our policy so pay up or we will require a credit card to hold on to while you even go to the restroom.

Blow Fish: Well I do have this card with Randy Gibson’s name on it so just hang on to it while I am gone and I am trusting you to not take advantage of this situation and charge any of that Lesbo Whore pussy on my tab while I am gone because I did not order any and I will be right back.

Bill Bartender: No problem, take your time and we will be here when you come back because we have been here forever and will always be here doing the same thing until we die so nothing changes here and I do mean nothing.

Blow Fish: Ok I will be right back after I score some weed.

Mr. Undercover Po Po: I need some weed too why don’t we walk over there together. My wife is upstairs in our room and she wants to smoke some pot before we have sex and if you score some weed we could walk up there and get high and then we could both screw her and then maybe take those freelancers up there and screw them as well and that would just make my wife so happy because she isn’t happy right now and has sent me down here to find some pot so she can get high so lets see what we can find.

Blow Fish: I am just looking for some weed to get those twenty something year old freelancers high and not interested in your wife’s pussy sir but there is a Lesbo Whore at the bar that will take care of her for you and I would not turn by back on her because she might strap one on and screw you in the asshole.

Mr. Undercover Po Po: Now we don’t do that up here you need to see the Bartender down at the Grand Plaza in the Tiki Bar called Bongo’s and he will take care of that for you and he will or one of his associates will screw you in the asshole.

Blow Fish: No I assure you it is not like that. I though your wife might like to be screwed by that Lesbo Whore because she looks rough as hell.

Mr. Undercover Po Po: No my wife wants you to come up and screw her while I watch you and I will screw her while you watch me and then I will watch you will you watch me if you know what I mean.

Blow Fish: I assure you I do not know what you mean and I do not like that kinky shit you must have me confused with that Randy Fucking Us Over Gibson character.

Mr. Undercover Po Po: Who is this guy and is he here and does he want to screw my wife and buy some weed?

Blow Fish: No he only smuggles pot and is too cheap to buy any and if you want to know who he is then you will just have to read back to Day One and stop asking me to repeat myself and then catch up or you are going to miss something like me setting the Police on the beach in Treasure Island so you better hurry up and read back and catch up or you won’t know what the hell I am talking about so please do not ask me to repeat myself again and I will not repeat myself again.

Mr. Undercover Po Po: That guy looks like he might have some weed. Ask him.

Blow Fish: Excuse me sir but my friend here is looking for some marijuana and he thinks that you might have some so do you and would you like to share some with this kind sir and then go upstairs and screw his wife while he watches you screw her and then you can watch him screw her and then you can watch him and he can watch you and so on and so forth.

Martin Levin: What the hell does this have to do with me?

Blow Fish: These cops are setting me up Shorty and I may need you to come bail me out so please stand by for an emergency call from Terri Lynn.

Terri Lynn: Now why am I calling in, is it because we had a family event down there at the Ritz and so I am an expert on the subject of the beach there in Tampa FL.

Blow Fish: If you were an expert you would know there is no beach in Tampa FL to start with and there is no Ritz here so why the fuck don’t you ever tell the truth and why does the beach in Tampa sound better than the beach on Treasure Island which is where I am and why do you need to lie about every fucking thing you say?

Terri Lynn: Well everyone doesn’t know where Treasure Island is and they don’t know what a Grand Plaza is and so I just help them to understand where it is and what it’s like there.

Blow Fish: Well then you are a complete liar because this is St Petersburg FL and not Tampa and not the Ritz. The Grand Plaza is a Discount Luxury Hotel and I am in the middle of setting up two Crooked Cops that are ripping off the tourist so please give me a break and stop your fucking lying and interrupting my Police Investigation or my Investigation of the Local Po Po and so please give me a break.

Terri Lynn: I am calling the local police right now. You will not get away with speaking to me like that I will not stand for your disrespect and so I am calling the Beach Police and telling them you are buying drugs and prostitutes and screwing husbands wives while the husband watches without including me so that I can get in on the action and Maurice can watch and record the whole thing with my Professional Camera and I think you need a photographer there so that you will have a permanent remembrance of the event and so I am on my way and I am bringing Maurice because he is too old and only likes to watch.

Blow Fish: I know I said very clearly to just leave me alone and she is calling the police and bringing the newspapers into this so we will see what happens so back to my investigation.

Mr. Undercover Narc: I do have some pot right here and it is some good stuff so why don’t we just go upstairs to your room and you can pay me and then we will work out the details of this drug deal transaction.

Blow Fish: Now what kind of details would we have to work out I mean my buddy here has a horny as hell wife that can’t wait to get stoned and screwed by whoever he happens to bring up to the room and you have the dope she needs so what other details are there?

Mr. Undercover Narc: I can explain those upstairs the motel management doesn’t appreciate us explaining our drug deals out here in the lobby so we have been asked to please not do that in the lobby anymore so I would feel more comfortable and safer in your hotel room.

Blow Fish: Ok then why don’t you two go on up and I will go get the two 20 year old whores at the beach bar and then meet you up there.

Mr. Undercover Po Po: Ok I will see you there but hurry up because my wife is horny as hell and I hate to keep her waiting or she may get mad and she is not happy now so please hurry.

Blow Fish: Alright but if you want to start without me that’s fine and watch out for Terri Lynn because she is coming with that Professional Camera of hers and she will be joining in and her husband Maurice will be watching because that’s all he does and then the newspapers will be alerted and then the whole world will see you having sex with his wife and you having sex with him and so on and so forth.

Martin Levin: What’s up Blow Fish do I need to come bail you our brother?

Blow Fish: Now Shorty you are a Jew and I am a Gentile and we are not brothers from another mother like Drew Bonner so I do not need your help so you can stand down and go back to your prayer meeting or whatever you Catholic priest do and what do you guys do for fun?

Martin Levin: I am an aspiring Priest and not actually a Priest yet but when I am a Priest I will listen to my congregation’s confessions and take their money and send it to the Vatican and that’s about all.

Blow Fish: Well where do you send your money to now?

Martin Levin: All the money goes into an account and then daddy decides how we spend it and then when he retires I will decide how we spend it.

Mike Papantonio: Hold on their partner I mean shareholder. I don’t think that will be your responsibility and I will be the major shareholder and then you will be working for me and not the other way around.

Martin Levin: You better watch your step there Papantonio I have some dirt on you and if you give me any trouble about how I spend my daddy’s money after he is gone then I will call Deano and he will deal with you.

Dean Baird: That’s right Mike you don’t want to see that photo of you screwing Fred Levin’s wife on the internet do you?

Mike Papantonio: No I do not and I don’t remember ever having sex with Fred Levin’s wife and my wife would not like that at all.

Blow Fish: I have a photo here of Dean Baird going to Federal prison for 20 years and how would you like to see that on the internet?

Dean Baird: I will call Fred Levin because you know I am working for him since I can’t handle my own money and he has to keep bailing me out because I am not good at handling money but good at blackmailing people into paying me and you know I am the loan shark and the bookie that takes checks and credit cards and so I am really good at collecting the money and leaving a paper trail but I am not good at paying my bills so Fred Levin is the one responsible for my success and covers my debts and that makes him my boss in the eyes of the law because that’s where my money goes and he is my loan shark and my big mafia kingpin so if you mess with me you mess with Fred Levin so you better watch your step or you will be stepping in your own shit.

Blow Fish: Well I also have Fred Levin in the same photo with the cuffs on and he is going up the river with you so what do you say to that counselor?

Fred Levin: Now Blow Fish we need to sit down and discuss this like human being and stop all this name calling and racial slurring and let’s just settle down.

Martin Levin: Yea you called me a Jew Boy and we don’t like those racial slurs.

Blow Fish: Martin Levin you little shit I called you a Jew and I am a Wasp and so what the fuck are you going to do about it why are you so sensitive and I forgot you are the son of a recovering still practicing alcoholic drug addictive and your daddy is never home and you have to take care of your mommy for him so I am sorry if I have offended you and you are lucky that you aren’t going up the river too so you better watch your step or you will be going away too and that’s a promise Shorty!

Martin Levin: That’s not what I wanted to hear so you will be hearing from my attorney Mike Papantonio.

Mike Papantonio: I told your daddy Fred Levin I am not getting involved with Dean Baird so this is not my battle and you just threatened me Martin have you lost your mind?

Martin Levin: No I mean I am a Priest or in school to be a Priest and protected by the church so I am safe here at Priest School.

Blow Fish: I have proof that you are nothing more than your Daddy’s mule and a go between with him and Dean Baird because you always do what daddy tells you to do so as I promised at the beginning of the Big Show I will be setting up criminals and their children so you are going down too and that goes double for that hot-headed son of Dean Baird and Gene Luciano as well so see you guys in the slammer very soon.

Gene Luciano: Ok Blow Fish I have told you numerous times to stay away from my children so I am coming to where you are and putting an end to this charade so where are you?

Blow Fish: Brevard you big ole fart have you stolen Gene Luciano’s caller id again and called up to apologize and try and save yourself?

Brevard Big Ole Gangster and Boss Man to Bob Taylor: Now that’s a caller id right there and no I am not apologizing and if I did it would just be a load of malarkey and you know I am a Wasp too so maybe we can work things out brother and your sister isn’t dead yet so there is still a chance to save her and yourself if you are willing to go peacefully.

Blow Fish: I am not telling you again I am going to send you to prison for life for the crimes you have committed so you better get ready and tell Bob Taylor or William or Tommy which I believe is what his Mommy calls him which I guess is Thomas or Tom or something so when he gets arrested that will be his name and not Bob Taylor it will be Tom and soon we will hear that announcement along with your real name Brevard and I know what it is and soon you will be revealed on the Big Show and arrested so get your shit together and I will see you in the slammer along with those other fuckers that everyone thinks are so honest so get ready to go and I will have that pervert Wayne Roberts fucking your wife in the asshole with his brand of new Dildo that is still in the wrapper which the Lesbo Whores at Pasti’s like so much and I don’t think that pervert Wayne Roberts would even fuck your nasty asshole wife with even a Dildo so I guess she should pack it up as well because you are old school and have all you assets in your wife’s name to protect them and not your name so she goes down as the one laundering your money just like Fred Levin does for Dean Baird because he can’t handle his own money or his own affairs without Fred Levin getting involved so there are no more loopholes boys you can kiss that idea goodbye and you won’t hear about any loopholes in the law because the Long Arm of the Law is coming around and keeping the Street Clean and hanging you boys up high from a tree limb and soon I will be in Boca Raton where I met her and she will be explaining it to you and coming up to my hometown of Downtown Historic Roswell where I am the Mayor and taking out your Restaurants and Bars including Sage and all your other holdings Brevard and you are tied to the Atlanta Russian Mafia which is really a bunch of Albanian assholes and I think a couple are Arabs so listen for that in the news very soon.

Fred Liven: I was about to offer you a payment of some sort but Dean Baird thinks that killing your children or you or both is a good idea so what do you say to that Blow Fish?

Blow Fish: Pick up the phone and have that conversation with anyone and you will be arrested for attempted murder or you may only go up for conspiracy to commit murder so just whisper it in someone’s ear because we are listening to your every word Fred Levin because we are getting closer and closer to your arrest so go ahead and make a fucking move you fucking lying asshole and you should have personally returned my phone call like you promised your TV audience that you do and not had your brother call me and tell him to watch his ass and what he says as well because he is also on my hit list because I believe he is in charge of your money laundering.

Fred Levin: I will just see you in court then.

Blow Fish: I am undercover and you will never see me again my friend so if you think you can catch me in a Restaurant or a Bar pulling my Blow Fish bull shit routine and blow my fucking Blow Fish brains out you will not so you better come up with a better plan than that and if you send a Hitman after my children that will backfire and you will be the one arrested for attempted murder and you will be the fucking target.

Martin Levin: Brother I am sorry but we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot here and so can we just get back to the little whores at the beach bar and forget all this name calling and I will buy the next round and we will take care of you.

Blow Fish: I will say something about this area of Florida with all the Blow Fish bull shit I put these bartenders and waitresses through and I am telling you I worked them over good to see what I could get them to do to me and I have to say except for one asshole bartender at CJ’s on the Island and the female manager there apologized for him and said don’t worry about it and then hit on me every time I came in the bar and actually walked outside to speak to me one time and my point is that no one in this area ever drugged me or threaten me or tried to throw me in a jail cell where they would cut my throat and let me bleed out which happens all the time up on the Panhandle of Florida where Charles Morgan is the expert at dealing with problems just like that and he learned it from the Dixie Mafia which is Old School Mafia and I know them and they know me so watch out Dixie Mafia because your days are numbered as well because I have dealt with you my whole fucking life and you have tried to set me up and threatened me and so you are going down as well when I start my Tiki Bar Tour In New Orleans and go from Bar to Bar to Restaurant to Restaurant to Hotel to Hotel until you don’t own a single property in New Orleans and have to find a new place to live like a Federal Prison so pack it up or load up your guns and get ready for a fight and I am just fucking with you fuckers that’s what a swat team is for and those boys live just to be able to suit up and take you out so when you see the storm troopers coming for you in their black body armour you can kiss your fucking Italian Inbred Coonasses goodbye. So Martin Levin, I will pass on that offer to be drugged by you assholes again.

Underage Prostitute at the Bar: We would love to go get high. We have been drinking in Key West all day and just got back and are ready to party so let me find my shoes and we will join your fuck fest up in the hotel room.

Blow Fish: Now hold on because I think you girls might be underage and why are you drinking and selling pussy in a bar if you are underage?

Underage Prostitutes at the Bar: Well we work for Bill the Bartender and we pay him for protection so we are good to go.

Bill the Bartender: I am in charge here and I told you if you want to pay for sex in this bar you have to go thru me and if you want weed go next door they handle the marijuana sells and if you want cocaine then I can make a call and get someone over here so should I make that call?

Blow Fish: No that’s ok I already got that guys number and we have been watching him for years and have enough evidence to put him away for life because he has murdered a few people just like Randy Fucking Us Over Gibson and here he is imagine that.

Randy Gibson: Hey Bubba I mean Blow Fish I know you don’t like being called that so I mean no disrespect and I just got a call from my bank because you know I am too stupid to read emails or anything on the internet so I don’t even know what you’re up to so they have to call me and anyway I have a Thousand Dollar charge here from the Postcard Inn Resort down on Treasure Island I know that is a swingers resort where you go there for a Threesome and people travel all over the world to go there just to have Threesome sex and so where are you because it appears to me that when I have is a fraudulent charge that you are usually behind and have you charged a Threesome for a Thousand Dollars to my credit charge brother or cousin or whoever you believe you are to me?

Blow Fish: I am your fortune teller Randy Fucking Us Over Gibson and you are too stupid to go on the internet and read what I am writing so sit there in a bar and drink yourself to death until someone comes in the bar and asks you to put your hands behind your back and then you say what is this all about?

Randy Gibson: Ok I will but what about these credit card charges and I also have a charge here for purchase of cocaine and you know I never pay for drugs so what is that about?

Blow Fish: It’s about time and you are going to pay for all the drugs you have smuggled into this country and all the lives you have ruined just like Drew Bonner who I am sure has bought allot of your drugs and possibly from the bartender at Harbor Docks who sells drugs to high school kids and the manager at Harbor Docks thinks that is funny so you are going to pay for the drugs you have smuggled into this country and then into our schools that end up in your home in your childs book bag and it’s funny that you think your kids don’t do drugs or do they Randy Fucking Us Over Gibson because I warned you criminals that your children were going down too at the beginning of the Big Show so if you were intelligent enough to read something I would say read back but you are too stupid so just sit there and try to call Paul your son and ask him to bail you out and you will be saying, Paul what are you doing in here with me and who is going to bail me out and it won’t be me Randy Fucking Us Over Gibson because the weather is too bad to drive over and pick your asshole up in jail and bail you out because I am the one that is putting you there but you don’t know that because you don’t read anything on the internet because someone may steal your identity if you go online so you better stay off the internet dumb asshole.

Bill the Bartender: Ok I made those charges to your credit card and so here is the receipt and I need a signature Mr. Randy Gibson.

Blow Fish: That’s not my name or my card. Where is the credit card I left here because if you have lost it then I have to go back to the bank and get one and I do not have time to do that today so I am not coming in here anymore if you assholes have lost my card again.

Bill the Bartender: This is the card you gave me I think, so I need a signature or I am calling the police.

Blow Fish: Sign the damn thing yourself and give yourself a whopping good tip Bill because you are losing you Bartending License because you are nothing but a Pimp and a Drug Dealer so you can kiss your ass goodbye. I am sick and tired of you assholes feeding off these poor asshole perverted tourist that travel from all over the world just for some Threeway sex here and they are just swingers which is legal and what you do is illegal so you better get ready to go to the Big House because you have done this for years and years and the guy before you did the same thing and there are so many charges pending on you that you would faint when you read them all so get ready to go down asshole for the way you treat the good swingers in this world which I do not practically care for and don’t try to include me in your sorted affairs put when you advertise that you are a Swinging Resort with Threesomes then you should follow through and give your customers what they came there for and you never do. The whole place is a set up so you can steal from the tourist and the management advertises that you are a Swingers Resort so they come here to hook up with a bisexual woman for a Threesome and then you rob your guest by setting them up and take all their cash or they have to get a cash advance on their credit card to pay off the fake Police Undercover Cop that you set them up with so avoid this place until after it is under new management and the present management is in jail and I mean all of them because even the maids are crooked here and steal you cash and credit cards from your room while you are being set up in the Tiki Bar.

From there we go north on our Tiki Bar Crawl up the beach and this is where it gets fun because those were all the Tourist Traps that are the rip off Tiki Bars and Motels and we are headed to where the locals hang and we are at Sunset beach and the first Tiki Bar is called Caddy’s on the Beach on the Gulf of Mexico and the locals from Tampa hang out here on the beach and drink in the bar and it’s always like a bunch of tourists are in here celebrating spring break and the crowd is too rough and there is talk that the whole place will be torn down and turned into another beach parking lot and all the locals go to the Tiki Bar across the street so it would make a better parking lot anyway so on to my next stop.

ka-tiki

All the locals go to the Ka Tiki Bar across the street and it is a real Tiki Bar built by the Seminole Indians and the place is packed on the weekend and on a holiday weekend the party goes on non stop all day and all night long with live music and there is a character at the Ka Tiki Bar that I heard of years ago and finally met him here and he calls himself the other Allman Brother or the Third Allman Brother and that would be Duane Allman and Greg Allman’s cousin and Mark Allman calls himself an Allman Brother but he’s just a cousin and he’s not a musician but an expert dancer and every one at the Ka Tiki thinks that they are expert dancers and it’s freestyle dancing and the Ka Tiki is the Home of Free Style Dancing which is just a bunch of drunk ass fools that can’t dance getting out there and making a complete horses ass out of themselves and they have been doing this forever and now they are a bunch of old as hell rough looking drunk ass fools out there on the dance floor making an even bigger fool of themselves and this Tiki Bar has some of the best live music on Treasure Island so if you get down there be sure and check that out and order a BLT and it’s the best item on the menu and they have a cheese burger and a bacon cheese burger and the BLT is piled high with fresh bacon and the best looking BLT I have ever seen but you have to get there for lunch when they are cooking them fresh to order because after lunch they aren’t worth a shit so you have to have eat at lunch and not dinner because they apparently only cook them fresh for lunch and then the kitchen staff starts drinking and dancing freestyle like a bunch of drunk ass fools and then the entire menu isn’t cooked fresh and you get leftovers for the rest of the day including dinner and then it becomes the worst BLT or Cheeseburger you have ever had and I kid you not so the food is horrible at dinner and excellent at lunch and the freestyle dancing is consistently a nuisance and just a bunch of drunk ass fools out there embarrassing themselves. The bartender at the back bar wants to live on a sailboat and her and her boyfriend have started a retirement fund so they can buy a boat and quite work and sail off into the sunset and she has tried to get on my boat and do just that with me so if you are looking for a beautiful little brunette sailing partner she is at the back bar just show her a photo of your boat and she will dump her drunk asshole boyfriend and sail off with you to the islands and her boyfriend is looking for a sailboat so ladies if you have a boat and you need a boat boy then he is working on the beach at Caddy’s on Treasure Island setting up beach chairs and then drinking beer at the Ka Tiki Bar at night so get in there and rescue him and take him sailing with you and there is another woman in this bar that I dated a couple times that works the Downtown St Petersburg area doing something and I do not know what it is so someone may want to look into that because I never asked and she was called my Hoochie Mama by a cute as hell woman that is actually an undercover FBI Field Agent in disguise as a drunk in a bar pretending to puke up Jello Shots on the dance floor and she called this woman my Hoochie Mama because she has the largest boobs in town without a doubt because as that Pervert Wayne Roberts always says “Your boobs are not suppose to be bigger than your head” and he tells women that when he meets them and acts disgusted by the size of their boobs like they are supposed to run out and get a breast reduction so he will go out with them but if your boobs aren’t bigger than your head then he won’t go out with you so he doesn’t like or respect the very women he is attracted to and when you set up criminals in bars you have friends just like him and he is so dysfunctional it is insane and he gets off on screwing Lesbo Whores with his own brand of Dildos out in the back seat of his car in the Pasti’s parking lot and there are miserable people just like that Terri Lynn character here on the Big Show and I have found that it is cheaper to date women with the biggest boobs in town than to date the ones that want the biggest boobs in town and then they want me to pay for them which brings us back to my Hoochie Mama and she likes to drink like everyone does on Treasure Island and she prefers to drink vodka more than eating food and she doesn’t want to waste any time going to dinner when she can just drink vodka and so when you take her out to dinner you can forget about eating because she will only drink and will not even sit at a table while I eat and will only drink vodka and I prefer to go to dinner and research my Restaurant Review and then have a drink and then go have sex and then sleep but she prefers to just drink and then drink and then drink some more and then act like a drunken asshole until she passes out so that relationship didn’t work out and you can find her in the Ka Tiki Bar with all the drunken freestyle dancers that are really just a bunch of drunk ass fools. She will be the one with the biggest boobs in town with the double vodka in her hand so get in there and see if you think her boobs are bigger than her head as if that matters.

Now I think the Bale Maker is responsible for the construction of the Ki Tiki Bar but he has fled the country and is building himself an island home in Belize so he has escaped prosecution in the US of A and is one step ahead of the law and this my Tiki Bar Tour and he has out smarted me once again or has he and I have experienced how the US chases down these drug smugglers and criminals that have taken flight and flown outside the US of A to avoid prosecution and learned what that experience is like first hand and what happens is you take a flight to a third world country and you take a bus to the end of the line and then you take a cab to the end of the line and then you get in the back of a pickup truck and you go to the beach and then you order yourself a beer and you sit down and drink your beer and about that time that cute as hell little Blond DEA agent that you thought was CIA because she has been all over the world that you met when you checked your bag back when you got on the bus and she has followed you all the way to the middle of no where and she sits down beside you and then you have a beer and watch the sunset and then all of a sudden some FBI field agent from the Compound in Mexico City comes down and takes her away from you and says you need to go home and see who your sister is bringing to your mother’s house for Christmas Dinner and then you have to repeat that whole travel experience and head home and then sit down for Christmas dinner and watch Bob Taylor or Tommy steal Twenty Thousand Dollars from your mother and so if you try and run there will be someone at the end of the line standing there staring at a photo of you on their cell phone and turning you back around to head back to the US of A so you can stand trial and if you refuse to leave then you get to think about why you didn’t leave, when you were asked politely to leave, while you are being held in a cell in a third world country where you have to fight the rats off all night and so I wouldn’t run if I were you I would just sit there in the Ka Tiki Bar and wait for the Police to come get you but that’s not how it works here on Treasure Island because this guy owns the Police and City Hall and everyone else and controls liquor licenses in the whole county just like Gene Luciano does in Naples FL so he is the local Mafia and he also distributes the drugs and has a dealer down the street that is the most popular guy in town and no one wants him to be arrested but when you set him up he has to go down so you better watch your ass or you will be getting what those crooked cops in Panama City are getting and then you too will be a meter maid and patrolling a parking lot so that guys going down as well along with the prostitution rings and I mean a ole big ring of prostitutes so look for all those people to be hauled in and locked up along with all the conartist working over all the tourist and this could be the biggest roundup in the history of the St Petersburg Tamparicky-t Bay area and it is the biggest because no one has ever cared what happens to the tourist here before and so you will see how vast this network is when you hear about the arrest that’s about to start so stay there or run it doesn’t matter if you bought an Island In Belize, it is going to be seized anyway so if you have money in the US of A and you think you can hide it on an island it’s not going to work.

Here on Treasure Island which is home to Pirates and Winches and their descendants all running around dressed up like Pirates and Winches and raising all kinds of hell and drinking and drugging themselves to death all day and night until they pass out and then they wake up the next morning and some of them might even eat a meal before they start all over again and then drink and drug themselves to death or until they pass out again and this has been going on for years and years on this stretch of sand that time has forgotten where nothing ever changes and everything always looks the same and the same thing goes on everyday over and over and so the next stop on my Tiki Bar Tour is Ricky T’s which is the Largest Tiki Bar on the island and it has a Tiki Bar in the front with a bar and a stage with live entertainment and a Tiki Bar in the back with a bar and a stage with live entertainment and then in between those there is another stage inside by the bar that they call the dining room so they have 3 stages with live bands everyday and the same thing goes on everyday and it never changes and the tourist wander in from the beach all day and order free Jello shots and the tourist come in by the droves for the free Jello shots and they start serving them at noon and then when the band starts to play on stage and the tourist that have been drinking free Jello shots all day and are as drunk as hell and too drunk to dance and falling all over the place and then around 9 o’clock the tourist start puking up the Jello shots out on the dance floor and the bouncers have to come out and mop up the puke and the tourist start dancing again until they start puking again and the band keeps playing through the whole affair and this has been going on everyday forever over and over and they all get so drunk that they shouldn’t be allowed to walk out much less drive but they do and no one ever gets pulled over for a DUI because that’s bad for business and the cops are too busy watching the girls walk by in Bikinis to deal with drunk drivers anyway and who cares if they are driving drunk as long as they come back next year and do the same thing again over and over and that is the secret here to just keep doing the same thing over and over and over and nothing ever changes or no one ever improves anything they just repeat the same thing they did yesterday and nothing ever changes and it looks the way it looked 20 years ago and there needs to be some changes made and hopefully there are some changes on the way.

When the band starts playing the crowd gets right and then the place gets busy as hell and there are women all over the place and there are female bartenders that will not leave me alone while I am trying to find the Bale Maker and they are trying to get me to have sex with them only it’s like a competition to see who will get me first and they can’t wait to see who wins and it will not be me it never is because they will start fighting over me and it will all be my fault for inferring with them doing their job and so there is a cute little Bartender at the back bar and her boobs just kept getting bigger and bigger and then at the front bar there is another cutey Bartender with big ole boobs that is married but she’s not wearing a ring and in the middle is another Blond bartender with small tits and she isn’t fooling around she means business and isn’t playing any games and then there is a waitress named Josie and I call her Josie and her Pussy like Josie and the Pussycats but she only has one and so it’s just Josie and her Pussy and she has big ole boobs and a big ole butt to match and she has the biggest boobs in the bar so she gets first chance at me because the woman with the biggest boobs in the bar is the boss lady and she clearly has the biggest boobs and the biggest butt to boot and I am more of a boobs on a stick guy but she doesn’t know that and so she has told all the other waitresses that she and I are going out and we are taking a trip to an out of town concert together because I spoke to her one time and told her I had just returned from seeing 2 concerts in 2 different cities and she said she would love to go and told all the other servers and bartenders that we were going out to a concert and then the other waitresses would sneak around behind her back and so they are all after me and I have Josie and her Pussy chasing them off while I am in the bar looking for the Bale Maker and I am having allot more fun than they are because they are the ones chasing me and the cute little Bartender in the back bar with the boobs that keep getting bigger and bigger is peck kissing a bus boy and he is saying this isn’t going to make him jealous if you stare at him while I am kissing you and one of the waitresses caught me kissing a drunk girl on the dance floor and then she puked up the Jello shots she had been drinking all over the dance floor and then I walked outside to the front bar and kissed the cutey Bartender with the big ole boobs that is married and then someone told her husband and now she is wearing a flannel shirt buttoned all the way up and then I walked back inside where the band was playing and this waitress walked up to me and said “You are terrible! You just walked over and kissed her on the dance floor and then you walked outside and kissed the bartender and you are just horrible kissing two women at the same time!” and so then she went and put her big ole titties in some kind of a wonder bra that made them look like torpedoes.

Waitress with Torpedo Boobs: Do you like these?

Blow Fish: And shook them at me and if you aren’t getting women to shake their boobs at you and sticking their ass up in the air at you then you are doing something wrong because I get that all the time and sometimes they just stare at me from across the room and then start dancing to get my attention and so she shook those Torpedo Boobs at me and smiled and I gave her an approving nod yes.

Waitress withTorpedo Boobs: Do you want some of this?

Blow Fish: And then she waved her hand over the front of her body like she was the box on Monty’s stage on the Let’s Make a Deal show and she was the prize and those boobs did look good and she had a butt to match and she did look great but I was looking for the Bale Maker and not looking to make a deal and wasn’t looking for any trouble and I always get myself in trouble with these women so I said “No way you are too much trouble” and she got pissed off and screamed..

Waitress withTorpedo Boobs: No! What do you mean no?

Blow Fish: So I was just screwing around with all of them and I do mean all of them at the same time and also the employees at CJ’s on the Island at the same time to set them all up at the same time and then on one Friday night my buddy Marcus the lead singer in the band who thinks he looks and acts and thinks he is David Lee Roth only he has shaved his head and I do not know if you have seen David Lee Roth lately but I have and he looks like a zombie, like we had a nuclear explosion and he lost half his hair and somehow survived the explosion and he is wondering around on stage and thinks he still has all his hair and still looks like David Lee Roth but he looks like zombie and I saw a band the other night and every member in the band thought they were David Lee Roth and if they didn’t have long blond hair like he had back in his prime then they wore a long blond wig and everyone in the whole band looked exactly like David Lee Roth and so Marcus is about as full of himself as that David Lee Roth character and when I am in my Blow Fish attire giving all theses people all kinds of hell in all the bar he is trying to get me to stop and the usual Friday night band couldn’t make it because Marcus had a wedding to go to on this particular weekend or something and Marcus is always telling me to settle down you are pissing off the management and fucking with my Blow Fish ass while I am trying to set up the whole bar so leave me the hell alone and stop yelling at me in the middle of a song when I am doing what I do which is to get myself kicked out for causing allot of Blow Fish bull shit trouble with the employees and the management and so back to this Friday night when they had a black Motown band with a B B King look alike lead singer to fill in for Marcus which the management explained to me that this was the best they could do on such short notice and I do not like Motown and we are not in Detroit we are in a Tiki Bar on the beach in Florida and I do not like show tune songs either and Motown is just as bad and I have seen BB King and also Ike and Tina Turner together and Dizzy Gillespie and Little Richard and all in small bars just like this and I appreciate all music but not Motown in a fucking Tiki Bar and I was just giving the management shit for anything at that point and I gave the band a hard time for playing Motown in a Tiki Bar instead of Rock and Roll and just asked them to play that Stevie Ray Vaughn song “The Sky is Crying” because it’s blues and didn’t you people invent the blues?

B B King Look Alike: No you people did, we invented Motown!”

Blow Fish: So I was then told by the management that…

Ricky T’s Manager: We don’t need you in here causing any more trouble. We have had enough of your shit and so please do not come back in here again.

Blow Fish: Well I tipped the band in the back Tiki Bar a Hundred do you mind if I go back there and get my Hundred out of the tip jar in the back Tiki Bar?

Ricky T’s Manager: Now that’s what I am talking about we don’t need anymore of your trouble so you just need to leave.

Blow Fish: So I was finally asked to leave and told to never come back again and I don’t see what I did that was so bad, it’s the waitresses that wouldn’t leave me alone and were dressing up all wild as hell with their tits looking like torpedos and standing around staring at me instead of waitressing or whatever you people call whatever it is you people do and the bartenders wouldn’t leave me alone and kept losing my credit cards and that one husband made his wife wear flannel shirts to work in the middle of the summer when we got too close and the tourist were puking all over the dance floor and Marcus was yelling “Blow Fish stop it” in the middle of a song and I don’t see what the big deal was and I have to say I have done this in thousands of bars and the people are Ricky T’s were very nice and polite to me the whole time I was in there making their lives a living hell and being just impossible and they never drug people and run them out of town and were never even rude while I was in there trying to set up the Bale Maker and if he was there he is obviously deceased and the management is doing a good job and they just need to stop serving those free Jello shots and making the tourist puke them up on the Dance floor every night around 9 o’clock and stop giving my shots to people that are already too drunk to drive and try to make it more of a family bar and that’s what all these bars call themselves Family Bars like there are families coming in there where the parents bring their children in there around midnight when everyone is drunk as hell and raising all kinds of hell and then when someone starts having too much fun they say “This is a family Bar” like there are a bunch of kiddies sitting over there in high chairs at one o’clock in the morning or something and I am setting a bad example and I am just kidding about all this because this is all Blow Fish bull shit there are no Jello shots and we set up this whole scene in there with FBI agents so that they will know what we can do when we want to so if you own a bar and all of a sudden there is this Blow Fish character hanging around and buying your customers hundreds of free shots and then they are puking them up on the dance floor and insisting that the bouncer come out there and mop up the puke and that Blow Fish character in the flashy expensive clothes is out there kissing that beautiful FBI agent with the great ass and telling her how great she looks tonight while she is pretending to be puking up Free Jello shots on the dance floor and then I walk over to the head bartender and he says…

Head Bartender: Wow that was dangerous kissing her when she was about to puke and she said she has been drinking Jello Shots all day and we don’t even serve Jello Shots in here and don’t have people out there puking on the dance floor because we are a Family Bar and they said that she really puked but I couldn’t see anything but they insisted that we send the bouncer out there to mop up the puke anyway.

Blow Fish: That was all just an act!

Head Bartender: What are they College students or something trying to see how we respond?

Blow Fish: They probably should be in acting school but no you are just being set up as a bar that overserves their customers by giving them Free Jello shots all day and then about 9 o’clock everyday they puke them up and then the bouncer mops up the puke and then you just keep doing the same thing over and over day in and day out and never change and so if this happens in your Bar then you are being set up with a whole bunch of Blow Fish bull shit where I go into a bar with a team of FBI agents and set you up for over serving your customers and so that’s not against the law for you to over serve your customers and it isn’t, it’s just that you are responsible for their safety so if they get a DUI after they leave your bar then you are responsible for over serving them and the better bars run by the large corporations that do not want to get sued have a policy and they count your drinks and say you are at your limit and we can no longer serve you and if you walk in their bar drunk then they refuse to serve you and that’s to protect their customers from getting a DUI and from being involved in a DUI fatality and there isn’t a single bar on Treasure Island that refuses to serve a customer when they are legally drunk and should be cut off and they never say you don’t need to be driving or offer to call you a cab and they just don’t give a shit about their customers safety and that’s what Ricky T’s is guilty of and they will let you sit there and drink yourself to death and then drive home and this is not a Family Bar because if it was they would have a policy that states you can’t remain on the property if you are drunk and they do not have that policy so they are not a family bar and do not care about their customers getting home safe and alive!

So at Ricky T’s they would always lose my credit card and then I would get a temporary credit card and they would lose that and I think they lost my credit card five times there and they were so afraid that I was trying to rip them off when I ordered 50 shots that they would run my credit card before they gave me the shots that they had already poured and then they would pour me another 50 shots and go ahead and pass them out and then run the credit card and since it was an identical charge from a bar that’s notorious for losing customers credit cards my bank would put a block on my card and the bartender would flip out and think I was trying to rip them off instead of setting them up for over serving me and all the people that didn’t need a shot anyway because they were too drunk and didn’t order one and the management was serving a bunch of drunk people free drinks that were already too drunk to drive which should have been cut off but were now drinking free and I found out that they were more comfortable when I only ordered 20 shots at a time but in order to piss them off so they would kick me out I ordered 20 shots at a time of a really difficult shot to make like a Lemon Drop where they had to put sugar on the rim of each of those little tiny shot glasses which took two bartenders about 30 minutes to accomplish and then chill the shots and pour them in the little shot glasses and if they gave me any shit and delayed the drinking of the drinks then I made them rechill all of them and then they had to pour each one of them all over again in the little shot glass with the sugar on the rim and they were always more concerned with me trying to rip them off than all the time they wasted pouring the shots with a crowd of 20 free loaders standing around looking like we were at a carnival or something with this huge crowd hanging around the bar waiting impatiently for a free drink but they were more concerned about being ripped off because a bottle of cheap ass vodka cost like Ten Dollars or something like that’s a big deal and so they finally figured out that the only reason I was buying the shots was to make them go to all the trouble of making all the little shots and serving them which started pissing them off and so I would just stand there and laugh at them while they worked on them and finally the Head Bartender figured it out and said I think you are ordering these shots just to give us a hard time and I just laughed and they kept losing my credit cards and then the bank would give me a temporary card that said Valued Customer instead of Blow Fish and then they would freak out because it didn’t have my name on it and refuse to accept it and then I would make them rechill the shots and repour them and then they would lose my Valued Customer card as well and I would go in there and raise hell saying I want my Valued Customer credit card back, do you know how hard it is to get a Valued Customer card these days it took me forever to become a Valued Customer and now you have lost it and they were funny as hell and allot of fun to set up and I would be at lunch somewhere and people would come up to me and say they knew me and act like my best friends because I had bought them one of those little shots and the people there are very nice and friendly and we all had a good time so you better stop over serving your customers there at Ricky T’s or I will have to come back in there and teach you this lesson all over again and I won’t be taking it so easy on your waitress staff this time and they may just start fighting over me out on the dance floor and then you really won’t be a Family Bar with fights out on the dance floor and tourist out there puking up free Jello shots and the bouncers trying to mop up the puke while the waitresses are fighting and then they have to stop moping up the puke to break up the fights and Marcus is screaning “Stop it Blow Fish” in the middle of a song and that will really look bad so I will be watching you.

cjs

cjs-bathrooms

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So when the band goes on break at Ricky T’s, I walk behind this bar to the next stop on this my Tiki Bar Tour to where the locals hang out and it’s called CJs on the Island which is the old Buccaneer Lounge and so as you walk in the door it looks like the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World like you are walking down a long hall to go get in a little boat and float down a little canal and watch that Johnny Depp character and his crew steal a treasure chest and as you are walking into this space that looks like the interior of a Pirate Ship there is a foul smell and it smells like you are on a real Pirate Ship that is filled with rats and roaches and just disgusting as hell and you can almost feel the rats running across the top of your flip-flop feet as you walk down the hall and the Pirates that own this Pirate Ship are the nastiest bunch of renegades I have ever seen and are not keeping it clean just like that Pirate Randy Gibson who does not keep a clean ship because his mother never taught him to clean his room or play well with others and if I mention that on the internet he has threatened to beat me to death as well and everything he owns is covered with dog shit and dog piss and his only maintenance concern is the ease of cleaning up those items and when he asked me what I knew about cheap ass laminate flooring I said it is cheap like you and apparently his only concern was how well it holds up to dog shit and dog piss and so this place smells like Randy Gibson’s house which looks like trailer trash but this place looks like a Pirate Ship and this is not Disney World and you would not want your children touching anything in here and this is defiantly an adult ride and feels more like an entrance into a strip club because those places smell like this and seem so nasty and no one would allow a child in a place like this because it is so disgusting and I need another shower because I feel dirty again and there must be a bunch of nasty Skank Crack Whores stripping in the next room or either selling their pussy out back in the Flop House and so I am holding on to my wallet and then if you open up one of those beautifully painted pirate ship doors in the entry hallway that really looks like you are walking thru a Pirate Ship you will find the worst restroom you have ever seen in your life and the source of the stench and foul air and it smells like a Pirate Ship should smell or Randy Gibson’s toilet and like what you would think the clap would smell like or the active outbreak of the crabs and I am starting to itch so you will not want to let your skin touch anything in that restroom and I recommend you just look and not touch anything anywhere in the bar and the smell is overwhelming and the restrooms have never been cleaned so if you want to see the nastiest place in Treasure Island I highly recommend the restrooms at CJ’s on the Island on this my Restroom Review for today on this day of the Big Show but just look, no touching you don’t want to leave here and take anything with you that requires a shot of penicillin to make it stop burning when you piss the next morning and if you make it past the restrooms in the entry hall without turning around and walking back out of the place then you are a bigger man than me and you will walk into the bar area and say wow it really looks like a nasty strip club in here and not a Pirate Ship and there is a stage and the only thing missing is the nasty strippers so they must be on break or either screwing the customer that just walked in the door right before me in the Flop House out back and then you realize that it’s just a nasty as hell sports bar with a Karaoke Show where the drunks get up there and try to sing after they have had to much to drink and shouldn’t be making a fool out of themselves and this is not one of those Karaoke Bars where there are professional karaoke singers that have an assigned song and they sing it every fucking time they sing and it is just boring as hell, oh no this place is filled up with a bunch of drunk ass fools that can’t carry a tune in a bucket and they are up in their singing and making a complete fool of their drunken selves and what makes it even better is you don’t have to go home here. That’s right they stay open late night and this is where all the locals go late night after all the other bars have closed when you are too drunk to drive home from drinking free Jello Shots all day at Ricky T’s and all you have to do is just walk over here to CJ’s on the Island where they stay open late night and later than the other bars and break the law by doing that and when they don’t pay off the right person then they get shut down so you never know when the place will be raided by the Police and the cops come in and kick everyone out and lock the doors and the only way the owner can stay in business is obviously by breaking the law and staying open late night after hours because that’s when they get slammed with customers that are already drunk as hell and they can’t pour the liquor fast enough and selling drinks as fast as they can make them and I have set them up for over serving their customers because everyone that goes in there late night is plastered from drinking at the other bars and shouldn’t be served because they are too drunk to drive home and they are even too drunk to walk back out the door and I have gone in and ordered 50 shots at a time to set them up where they would hand them out to a bunch of drunks that didn’t need a shot or even ordered one and they could all be arrested for public intoxication when they just walk out the door and they are so notorious for overcharging customers credit cards that my bank won’t accept their charges when I am in there and just assumes that my credit card has been stolen and someone else is buying a round of shots in this nasty ass place so when I could go in there and order 50 shots of Fireball and they would make the drinks and have them all lined up on the bar and then run my card to pay for them and my bank wouldn’t approve the charge because they have had so many reversed charges from CJ’s on the Island for overcharging their customers that my bank will not approve any charge made there and puts a block on my account because they just assume that the card has been stolen and then the bartender gets pissed off and blames me and is about to beat my ass and then the Owner has to come over and calm him down and tell me not to worry about it. It happens all the time, it’s not a problem and the bartender has to start pouring the 50 shots back into the Fireball Bottle with a funnel and this has happened so many times that I don’t even bother ordering a drink in there anymore to piss them off all I have to do is just walk thru the bar to piss off the bartender and then I walk out and the female owner will follow me outside and talk to me because she has the hots for me and tries to get me to stay and get me a drink and not leave but she is married and if you look at the woman on the logo on the sign, this is what the owner looks like and she is sweet as hell to me and so they are set up for over serving their customers because they never cut anyone off and everyone that walks in the place between midnight and one o’clock is already plastered and shouldn’t be driving and then they serve them as many drinks as they want until they have to close and the whole time they are operating illegally because they are supposed to be closed and the place is such a dump and so nasty and they won’t clean it up and maintain the building and keep it clean and the previous owner remodeled the entrance hallway and the restrooms and painted the outside of the building and all CJ had to do was change the name and the place isn’t being maintained or cleaned and it smells like a roach motel and the bathrooms have those $40 vanities you buy at Home Depot that should only be installed in trailer houses that only last for a year and they have been in there for years and are falling apart and the restrooms are the nastiest I have ever seen so get by there and see how disgusting it is before they are forced to close and then the whole damn place is condemned and the building demolished so a decent business can be built there that has more to offer the tourist than just a hangover and a venereal disease so you better hurry and get in there you do not want to miss out on that!

lanas

Another issue is your customers do not need to be sitting there drinking themselves to death and if you would ask them to leave then someone else could walk in the door and take their place at the bar because there is nothing worst than walking into a bar and seeing those people sitting there like they are just a fixture and they never move and just sit there day in and day out drinking themselves to death just like next door at Lana’s Downtown Lounge and Lounge must mean Hole In the Wall Bar these days but it still means a place where you can lounge around drinking yourself to death and for some reason and the management at Lana’s believe that they can allow smoking in the bar and so everyone in there is chain smoking one after another and so they are drinking and smoking themselves to death and so there needs to be a law enforced there so somebody will have to come in there from the Health Department and close your fucking doors because you people are too stupid to do it for yourselves and I am not kidding. This is the perfect example of a bar where everyone in the bar is chain smoking and drinking themselves to death and then someone dies and it frees up a seat for the next contestant and then that person drinks themselves to death and they must have assigned seating in there and so find something else to sell other that alcohol and cigarettes like some food and try to get your customers off their other addictions that you have them hooked on and this place is so nasty I couldn’t even order one drink in there when I walked in and the only reason I even walked in there was because they were on my hit list and so clean it up or shut it down and I don’t think anyone would really give a shit if you just ripped out the whole bar and threw it in a dumpster and then pressure washed the walls and ceiling with bleach and so that would be a good start so please try that and see if it smells better inside.

waffle-house-ti

So after you drink at all those bars all night long I recommend a lovely breakfast but you won’t find one here but you can walk up to the Waffle House on Treasure Island right up the street one block away where you can have breakfast and sober up and so for this my first Waffle House Review because you can’t call Waffle House a restaurant and I will tell you why and so I walked in and asked where the cook was who is normally a man in a Waffle House back there at the grill and he is called a short order cook and not a chef and there wasn’t a cook working tonight and there was a waitress back there cooking and they call themselves servers but not at a Waffle House but she was calling herself the woman cooking saying

Waffle House Cook: Why do you think a woman can’t cook?

Blow Fish: No it’s not that I just expected to see a man back there cooking.

Waffle House Cook: Well you just have a seat and don’t worry about it I can cook.

Blow Fish: Thank you and I will just sit over here.

Waffle House Cook: My goodness that is a loud as hell shirt and it sure is beautiful and I don’t believe I have ever seen anything quite like that before.

Blow Fish: Thank you are you taking my order? Then she walked over to where I was sitting and said…

Waffle House Cook: No but if you are looking for someone to have sex with then I am available.

Blow Fish: No I am just ready to order breakfast and that’s all.

Waffle House Cook: Ok but I will be right over there at the grill cooking if you change your mind.

Blow Fish: Then she went back over to the grill and flipped some food and gave me that fuck me look that women give you that means you can go ahead and have sex with them without saying another word just like Terri Lynn’s older sister Tiny Tina always gives me but she is not tiny and I guess she was when her parents gave her that name and didn’t know that Big Ole Whore is more fitting and she gives me that look that means you can go ahead and fuck me and then my waitress came over and this woman had a tooth in her head and I do not mean to be critical but she only had this one tooth in her head and it was right there in the front of her mouth and it looked dangerous sharp and just painful as hell right there in front all by itself where it could do the most damage and she said…

Waffle House Waitress with only One Tooth in her Head: My goodness you look good tonight honey and if you want to have sex with me we can go in the back room right now and get it on.

Terri Lynn: Now why is this woman calling you Honey? That is what I call you Honey and I do not want you having sex with her or that other Waffle House waitress that is cooking or the both of them at the same time unless I am there to join in on the fun and then Maurice who only likes to watch because he is too old can film the whole affair with my Professional Camera so tell that bitch to back off.

Blow Fish: No I think I will pass on the sex but thank you anyway.

Waffle House Waitress with only One Tooth in her Head: So I guess you just don’t find me desirable enough to have sex with?

Blow Fish: No it’s not that, I am just trying to eat some breakfast right now and then go home. It’s been a long day and I am not trying to have sex right now just trying to eat and go home and so no sex, just breakfast and thank you once again for the offer though.

Terri Lynn: Now Honey maybe I wasn’t clear, I said it’s OK if we all have sex together and Maurice likes to watch because that’s all he can do is watch because he is too old to have sex and if I haven’t made myself plain enough I will expect to be having threeway sex with you very soon or I will bring Lauren my Lesbo Girlfriend and we will come down there and find you Honey, and that is your last warning and if I have to call out the Army Reserve and shut down all access to Treasure Island to make sure you do not leave I will so you have been warned.

Blow Fish: Terri Lynn I am working here and trying to find the Bale Maker and too busy to have sex with you and Lauren right now so you will have to wait and there are enough women here that can’t find men to have sex with so I do not need you and Lauren coming down here with Maurice so he can watch and I don’t like a woman’s husband watching me screw his wife so call your fuck buddy that Pervert Wayne Roberts and get him to screw the both of you and Maurice can watch or just go over to the Red Salt Bar in Downtown Historic Roswell GA like you usually do and let that guy with the Dildos that are unwrapped and not the new Dildos still in the wrapper that the Lesbo Whores at Pasti’s love so much and get him to screw both of you with a used Dildo while Maurice watches and tell Lauren to take her diaphragm out this time before he fucks her with a used Dildo so she doesn’t have to go to the Gynecologist the next morning to get her diaphragm retrieved because he screwed her with some Big Ole Used Dildo and leave me the fuck out of your nasty as hell Skanky Whore lifestyle because I am not interested and once again leave me alone I am trying to work here and I am doing the Lord’s work and want nothing to do with you and do not need these interruptions.

And I know you think that is all Blow Fish bull shit but it is not and I get that all the time and this is probably the 10th time I have been hit on tonight and so it has been a good night and so the Waffle House is a good place to eat breakfast and you can get lucky there as well and they have a back room where you can “Get it on” and so go on in there and see for yourself and you can have breakfast and then have sex in the back room at the Waffle House on Treasure Island with the woman cooking and a waitress with only one tooth right there in the front so it can do the most damage and she really needs to have that removed and get herself a new grill just like Bubba did up in Destin FL and the food is good at 2 o’clock in the morning so I recommend eating there after you have been out drinking all night you will feel much better the next morning but I recommend passing on the sex because you will only feel worse in the morning and probably feel dirty as hell for months on end and not that I would know but that’s what I have been told by my buddy Hunter in Panama City Beach and if you are feeling chartable at 2 o’clock in the morning they have homeless people living behind the Waffle House and they come inside and get their mixers from the restaurant so they can hang out behind the building and drink themselves to death and I would not doubt if they do not turn down that offer of sex and so the homeless people are walking in getting their beverage service and interrupting my dining experience and so I bought them all waffles and bacon so they could take a break from drinking themselves and drugging themselves to death and I was impressed that they actually quite drinking for a moment and ate a meal because I have been told before that food actually upsets these drunks stomach and that they do not eat when they are drinking and they are always drinking so they never eat and just drink until they pass out and they do not want to do anything that interferes with that and so they actually took a break from drinking to eat the waffles and bacon and they actually sent an order of bacon back because it wasn’t crispy enough then they went back to drinking themselves to death so go in there and check out the Waffle House on Treasure Island where they have a sex room in the back and a party going on behind the building 24 hours a day and free mixers so you do not want to miss that before someone from Corporate has the good taste to clean all that shit up if there is anyone there that has any good taste and if not I will be announcing my Waffle House Tour where I go from Waffle House to Waffle House drinking out back with the homeless people and having sex with the waitresses while they are on the clock in the storage room or their sex room in the back and then I get all my food free and free mixers and free venereal diseases and then I sue Waffle House and then Corporate finds out and they kick me out and tell me we don’t need you in here starting anymore shit and causing us trouble and so look for that coming up at a Waffle House near you and I have larger fish to fry than that so I am sending Bubba in there from Destin FL. This is a perfect retirement opportunity for him and he can live out back with the homeless people drinking themselves to death and having sex with women that have only one tooth in their head and this is a perfect fit for him and so he is on his way but you will have to supply the beer and he will want the beer up front but he will bring a cooler with ice and then forget to take it with him when he leaves so you will have to throw it out because he loses everything he has so hurry up and get down there and check this out before Waffle House cleans up that mess and ruins the fun for everyone and before the Health Department comes in there and catches your waitresses having sex with customers in the back room and not washing their hands before they return to work and for the love of God buy that fucking waitress some damn teeth it is just ruining the whole Waffle House dining experience not to mention the sex in the back room!

meremaids

If you are still wide awake after breakfast there is still another stop to my Tiki Bar Tour and the bar is called Mermaids and there are no Mermaids there or Mermen and so there is no reason to go in there because this is another Strip Club with no strippers that call themselves dancers and there is no one dancing at all so there are no dancers but there are women that will sit down with you and tell you how much the sex cost and it went like this.

Mermaid Stripper: I can give you a table dance or a lap dance and they both cost Twenty Dollars so the cost is the same so which do you want? Don’t you want a lap dance because that way I can make you come sweetheart?

Blow Fish: No I have just sailed across the Gulf of Mexico and have been out drinking all night and I am tired and would like to just sit here for a minute.

Mermaid Stripper: Well we aren’t supposed to sit here and just talk I have to either give you a lap dance or a table dance but if you want to just sit there for a minute because you are tired that’s ok and so where did you sail from and how big is your boat?

Mermaid Stripper Number Two: Do you guys need some help getting started or something there doesn’t seem to be anything going on over here so you better get busy.

Mermaid Stripper: He said he is tired he has been out sailing and he just wants to rest for a minute and then we will get going.

Mermaid Stripper Number Two: Well you better hurry up or they will throw him out you know you can’t stay in here if you aren’t spending money.

Blow Fish: Oh it’s not that I was just wondering what a Blow Job would cost?

Mermaid Stripper Number One: That’s what we call a lap dance and that is done in a private room and that’s a Hundred Dollars.

Blow Fish: Well why is it Twenty here and a Hundred in a private room? I mean why can’t you do it here?

Mermaid Stripper Number Two: Because you can’t be sucking a dick off right here by the front door you have to go in a private room for a private dance and that’s where the action is so you two better get going because they will kick you out if they don’t see some action over here.

Blow Fish: Can you do anything you want in a private room for a Hundred Dollars?

Mermaid Stripper Number One: You can do anything you want with me for free you just have to pay for the room and it is a Hundred Dollars.

Mermaid Stripper Number Three: That is not right and you have to charge him or either we will all get in trouble for giving freebies and they will fire you for that because they get a share of the tips or the take as they call it so you have to charge for it, it isn’t fair to the rest of us to be selling it and you giving it away.

Blow Fish: Well I am tired from sailing across the Gulf of Mexico and have been up for 3 days and so I will have to pass on having sex with all 3 of you for a Hundred and so how much for all 3 of you all night tomorrow night on by boat?

Mermaid Stripper Number One: I don’t know about them but I will be there for free. I don’t work tomorrow and that would just be a date and I haven’t had a date in a year and my milk has a date and even my sour cream has a date but I don’t so that would be free.

Blow Fish: Well then how about you girls?

Mermaid Stripper Number Two: I am working and can’t make it maybe another night or I can come over after work and it would be a Hundred Dollars an hour.

Mermaid Stripper Number Three: I will be off tomorrow night and I will do it for the same price but I can’t stay all night because I am married and my husband will want me to sleep with him tomorrow night for a change.

Blow Fish: Well all of you except for Contestant Number One are going to jail for Solicitation charges and Contestant Number One can stay here and tell me more about what we will be doing on our date tomorrow night and then the whole bar will be shut down until you people start running this place like a Strip Club and not a Brothel.

Mermaid Manager: What is going on over here. I don’t see you guys getting anything started.

Mermaid Stripper Number One: We are just talking. He is tired from sailing all night and just wants to talk.

Mermaid Manager: Then you will have to leave if you are not spending any money in here. If you aren’t going to buy anything then you will have to leave you can’t just sit there for free.

Blow Fish: What if I were too drunk to drive?

Mermaid Manager: Then you can’t stay here and you can’t sleep it off in the parking lot I will call the Police and tell them you are trespassing.

Blow Fish: What about your responsibility to keep drunk drivers off the road so that they don’t kill anyone or kill themselves?

Mermaid Manager: I am not responsible for you or you driving your car so you better get off the property now or I am calling the cops and they will haul you in for being a public drunk.

Blow Fish: Why don’t I just buy a lap dance and a blow job for a Hundred Dollars and sleep it off in a Private Room?

Mermaid Manager: There is no sleeping it off here. Either you pay a Hundred Dollars a song or you get kicked out.

Blow Fish: Does your stripper know how to give a Blow Job in one song?

Mermaid Manager: No they know how to stretch it out for 3 or 4 songs so if you have the money you better pay up front or you will be starting over at the end of each song and it may take all night and you will run out of money before we run out of songs.

Blow Fish: So then a Blow Job cost Four Hundred dollars and that’s a Felony charge so I will see you in court and I do not have time to go to court on such a tiny little charge so I will send in a sting operation and you will all go down at one time and everyone in here will be going down and losing their license to dance and bartend and then when the place reopens you better run it legal or it will all start all over again and we have more jail cells than you have songs so you better get ready to be shut down and go down on Prostitution Charges and being shut down as an illegal Prostitution Ring and you better watch out or it will be Racketeering if I find a drug dealer or anything else illegal in here like Moonshine and I know it’s here and that’s all I need so you are Racketeering here and all I have to say to you is Good Bye!

From the Treasure Island Tiki Bar Tour we head back down south to Bahia Del Mar which is the resort where Terri Lynn and her son Dufas Lucas stayed and he said that the whole island was misnamed by the Spanish Explorer Ponce De Leon because Dufas Lucas thought the island was named Bahia Del Mar after the resort which means Blue Bay in the Ocean and the island is actually a Green Island covered with green grass which is not blue and this island is actually named Isla Del Sol or Island in the Sun so he thought it was misnamed and then we would have to ask that Christopher Columbus and all those Spanish explorers to stop misnaming these islands and then we won’t have 13 year old children spending their entire vacation in Florida researching and correcting their mistakes and throwing Gay hissy fits. So there I have straightened that out for you Dufas Lucas. It actually is an Island in the Sun and the next island is Tierra Verde which is a Green Island or island covered with green grass and apparently this Ponce De Leon character thought it was better not to name all the islands in Florida the same name.

tierra-verde-resort

On the next island is the misnamed resort called Tierra Verde Marina Resort where the Island Grill has relocated and they did build a new Restaurant building and then ran out of money and didn’t build a Resort with a Hotel and Tiki Bar and Pool in front of the Restaurant as planned and just left a big pile of sand. I guess the owner ran out of money or his investor has given up on him turning a profit because the Marina boat slips aren’t all rented and the huge high and dry boat storage building isn’t full and they haven’t even started on the Hotel Resort that will be built beside the Restaurant and the pool which is just a pile of sand and they can’t even seem to keep the Marina showers clean and stocked with toilet paper and will not even unlock the Marina restrooms for the Marina customers to use and the Charter Boat customers that come thru in groups of 40 people are forced to use the marina showers without toilet paper and they are never clean so I am telling you right now go put some fucking toilet paper in the marina shower restrooms because I am sure there is none in there and then you bunch of dumbass inconsiderate assholes always say I will get right on that. Well stay on it and so we will have to wait and see if the investors come thru with the remaining funds to complete this half finished project and poorly run and maintained Marina and then I will have to come back around to give my review of the Resort when there actually is a resort here and not just a Restaurant and a Marina without a public restroom for the Charter Boat customers.

Captain Skinner: I am sorry you do not think this is a Resort so please check back when we have completed our renovation of the Marina Resort and we will look for your review then and thank you for your consideration.

Blow Fish: Did you realize that your Marina Resort isn’t green earth and you have misnamed the whole resort and you should change it to a Huge White Metal Building Resort?

Captain Skinner: No I think Ponce De Leon named this island Tierra Verde and we are on that island and the name of the resort designates that we are on that island and is not a description of the building on the island.

Blow Flow: Captain Skinner I think I have got you on this one and you need to change the name of your Green Island resort to Huge White Metal Building and drop the Green Island and the Resort because it is neither. You have covered the whole piece of land with asphalt and white metal building and there is no green earth left and no resort so it is clearly a mistake on your part and I am sure you understand.

Captain Skinner: Listen here we are just getting started here and we have a resort to build and a pool to dig and a restaurant that is open and we have customers with their boats in this Huge Eyesour of a Building here and they need to come out and go for a boat ride so we don’t want any trouble.

Blow Fish: Well if you don’t have a resort then you need to drop that name and so how many Gay employees do you have so I can adjust your Google search accordingly?

Captain Skinner: We are going to build a resort I am just waiting on the financing to go thru and these things take a while you know and we do not have any Gay employees and do not want to be listed as a Gay Destination.

Blow Fish: I am not so sure it seems that Faggots are nasty people that do not keep toilet paper in their public restrooms and are lazy and do not believe in keeping anything clean and are just nasty as hell and if you are waiting on the guy up at the Ka Tiki Bar to finish his house on the Island in Belize and then start giving you more money to launder then it ain’t gonna happen so what will you do then?

Captain Skinner: I do not know and how did you know we were laundering money here and why do you care because this is my dream to have my own Resort with a Restaurant to operate and have a Marina full of beautiful boats where people come to spend their vacation and that’s my dream and that is my vision here at the Tierra Verde Marina Resort.

Blow Fish: Then you should have been more careful who you got in bed with because you are in bed with the Devil and now you have to sleep in the bed that you have made and it’s not my fault that you have such low morals that you would take money from a low life scum of the earth just like Gene Luciano and so you will have to suffer the consequences of your mistake and so I will say Good Bye.

Terri Lynn: I am going to close him down for not changing the name of the resort and I am telling Maurice to call out the US Army Reserve because they aren’t doing anything anyway and we will shut them down and put them out of business.

Blow Fish: When I say Good Bye that means that I have just done that so all you have to do is wait and watch and see if I was right or if he is one of my friends and I am just kidding around with him just like I do with you and the way you can tell is you watch CNN and read the newspapers and then when you hear that you have been arrested or called in for questioning then you are going down and he is going down and he was on my hit list and my Sailing Yacht was in his Marina and it’s right there on the website home page in a boat slip and he is set up and going down and that’s all for him so you don’t need to do a thing and as I have said in the future you need to be careful who your investors are and who you are partners with because you just can’t take money from the devil anymore without suffering the consequences because it has been going on long enough.

Going back to the beach I recommend the Agave Mexican Restaurant which is a really great beach Mexican Restaurant where the locals eat and they have great authentic Mexican food and great Margaritas and the prices are reasonable and then across the street is Basil Leaf Thai and Sushi and I order the sashimi of course and my favorite roll is the Red Hot Chili Peppers because all the signature rolls are named after rock and roll bands and it is incredible and is an absolutely beautiful roll and you will not be discussed like you are when you eat at Harbor Docks in Destin FL where they drug their customers because they are a Mafia Restaurant but not the Basil Leaf it’s a real Thai Restaurant and has reasonable pricing as well. Then to finish up on the restaurants and there are 100s and I am just mentioning a few, I will go back up north and say the VIP Lounge which is a Mexican Restaurant where they couldn’t afford to change the name has an excellent Margaritas and great food and always busy as hell and they are right next door to Ricky T’s and my favorite for local seafood and not french fried food is the Middle Grounds just a block north and they always have a spectacular dinner special, it always changes and every meal I have had there has been wonderful and they have a great steak there as well and it is a beautiful Restaurant and the Bartender is my buddy and a fellow musician and everyone there does a great job and it is really an exceptional Restaurant for Treasure Island and I highly recommend it and they do have a great Steak but my favorite Steak House which is also a great Wine Bar where everything on the menu is amazing and I kid you not is Seared 1200 Degrees Chop House and they have a Tomahawk Steak and the best bacon wrapped Scallops I have ever had and a great wine selection and all the food is superb and everything on the menu is incredible and go in there and see if they have stolen my Blow Fish Lobster Mac and Cheese recipe because they insisted on me giving them a few cooking tips as most of these places always do but they do have some lovely side dishes but then that’s not Blow Fish Lobster Mac and Cheese and no it is not but the food is the best on the whole damn island I will say that and if you are looking to take a beautiful Hostess out dancing when she gets off work then this is at the top of my list as well

So the next stop is Silas Dent’s Steakhouse which is named after the original Bale Maker here that built the first Tiki Bar down on Cabbage Key that liked living in a thatch hut with Rats and Snakes and Mosquitoes better than in a real house and he would have guest come and live with him in his Tiki Bar where they would party for days on in and then on Christmas he would dress up like Santa Claus and give the local kids presents and he looked like Santa Claus with a long white beard and was nicked named the Hermit of Cabbage Key and so all the locals still do the same thing at Christmas so for the whole month of December all the locals get dressed up like Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus and they pull wagons around behind them all over the Island loaded down with a cooler full of beer and liquor and they walk from house to house and then from bar to bar and the whole damn Treasure island turns into a drunken and drugged up winter wonderland where the sand looks like snow and it does when you are as high as these characters are and they are such drunks and have been doing this for so many generations that I think they believe that this is what Christmas is all about and just another drinking holiday and it’s all about having a fucking good time and getting drunk as hell drinking shots and beer and walking from bar to bar so look for that on Treasure Island when the whole island is covered with Santa and Mrs. Drunken and Drugged up Claus walking all over the place and there are hundreds of them and they take over the whole island and you can’t drive down the street without running into them and at least they don’t drive and that’s a good thing. It was all started by this Silas Dent the original Bale Maker with the first Tiki Bar and so this tradition that he started down on Cabbage Key continues today at his new Tiki Bar which is located up on Treasure Island and it is the Silas Dent’s Steakhouse named after the original Bale Maker so get in there and check out this place named after a dead homeless man and just what would you expect from a man that names a restaurant after a fictional character and didn’t use his own name and so why is that and I believe it is because this is a Mafia Bar and Restaurant and those guys don’t put nothing in their name or anything they own in their name so they just put someone else’s name on the line just like Gene Luciano down in Naples FL so I guess the Mafia Racketeer that owns this place can be look for it to being closed soon when all the Mafia Bars and Restaurants are seized by the Justice Department and torn apart and sold in pieces at an auction so look for the closing of this Mafia stronghold on Treasure Island and then he can go away and a new owner can come in and take over the place that treats people a little better and treats their employees like human being and not like slaves just like at Harbor Docks in Destin FL and I have already discussed how a Mafia Restaurant treats their employees like slaves so read back to Day One and then catch up or you’ll miss something and stop asking me to repeat myself and this Mafia Restaurant and Bar is just like all the others and we do not need these places and businesses in existents anymore because your college kids could start working there one summer and then get addicted to the drugs they sell and then say I am making a career change and going to be a restaurateur just like Charles Morgan or another Mafia Restaurant Gang and then become one of their slaves in their gang and then they can’t leave because they own them and so we do not need these assholes in our society anymore and so they can go back to where they came from or go to prison which is where they belong so watch and see what happens there to this Silas Dent character and so I will just say Good Bye.

Debbie from Silas Dent Tiki Bar: Hold on there a minute my father Rob was not the original Bale Maker. He was a restaurateur and my mother named the restaurant after Silas Dent who is a local legion and one of the first inhabitants after the Spanish ran off the Indians and we have nothing to do with the Making of Bales and have a lovely Restaurant here with good prices and great food and service and specialize in wedding parties and have a successful banquet business and are not connected with the Mafia and treat our employees fairly and honestly so please change this so we are not confused with the real Mafia boss here on Treasure Island so please look somewhere else for the Bale Maker.

Blow Fish: If that is true then put this Silas Dent on the phone and let him speak for himself because he is on my hit list and if he is on my hit list then he is going down.

Debbie from Silas Dent Tiki Bar: We are not the Bale Maker or a drug smuggling operation so please change that on your Restaurant Review.

Blow Fish: You are not on my Restaurant Review list and I haven’t eaten there or set foot in the place I do not frequent Mafia Restaurants you people tend to drug your customer and get them arrested and thrown in jail and I do not have time for all that so I will pass on your food and adding you to my Restaurant Review and just say Good Bye.

I almost forgot about downtown St Petersburg where there are hundreds of Bars and Restaurants and if you go there go on the first Friday of the month when everyone from Tampa comes over and parties too and they have live bands playing in the streets which are blocked off and the place is crazy as hell and allot of fun and normally the downtown area around the park looks like a Zombie Movie is being filmed there because the City of St Petersburg for some reason allows homeless people to live in the city parks and on the street and these are not your average homeless bag lady looking people they are young and homeless and penniless and dirty and kind of like this was the last place the Grateful Dead played a concert and all the dead heads that followed them around didn’t know where to go next so they just decided to just live here in the park and these are weird dirty looking people covered with tattoos and dressed strange as hell and with bright colored hair and it reminds me of a Zombie Movie where they are just wondering around or either some Satanic Movie where these devil worshipers are looking for the gates to hell because I believe that Hells Gate may be located here and hidden somewhere near Jannus Live which is a Music Concert Hall and Bar in downtown St Petersburg FL and these people have traveled here from all over the country to get into hell thru the gates of hell so go to downtown St Petersburg FL and see for yourself because there is something going on there and if Hell’s Gate isn’t here then it is probably in Gene Luciano’s home in Naples FL and go ahead Head Heathen Leader.

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch now that I know where you are I am coming up there to kill you deader than shit and I do have a bar there so why don’t you go into the Sea Salt Restaurant in St Petersburg and turn yourself in and they will hold you there for me because they couldn’t open a Restaurant in Naples FL without my help and so they couldn’t open a Restaurant in Miami without my help and then they couldn’t open a Restaurant in St Pete without my help and actually those assholes did because they have gotten more powerful than me lately and they are the Russian Mafia in Naples FL and they have a Sea Salt Bar and Restaurant in downtown St Petersburg in the Sundial Complex and it is nicer than the one in Naples FL and I will call them and tell them to hold you there and I am on my way to come blow your Blow Fish brains out of your Blow Fish head so stay right there I am on my way.

Blow Fish: Geno I have already paid them a visit and they know I am here and you know I have done some work for them and set them up and if you get to St Petersburg don’t forget to avoid the Sea Salt Restaurant and Bar in the Sundial because it’s a Russian Mafia stronghold but check out the First Friday celebration.

When I am downtown St Pete I always eat at the Bella Brava which is an Italian Restaurant on Bayshore Dr. where all the fine restaurants are lined up along Tampa Bay and also in the Ponce De Leon Hotel on Beach Dr. which is an old Spanish Style Hotel and the Restaurant in the lobby is the Ceviche Tapas Restaurant and Bar and I usually eat in the bar or you can eat outside on the porch and the food is excellent and the drinks are great as well and it is very unique!

So as I leave here and sail to Naples FL I will make a stop in Sarasota FL where Geno has a Restaurant and a Bar a crime syndicate there as well and so I will stop at Sacks Fifth Ave and buy some new Blow Fish attire for my visit to Naples FL and Sacks has a lovely men’s department there with a free bar and a lounge with a huge sofa and a flat screen TV where you can relax in the middle of spending a fortune on clothes and with free wine and spring water to soften the financial blow of shopping there so if you feel faint after paying your bill you can relax and take a nap or watch a sporting event on the big screen TV and this is the nicest mall men’s clothing department I have ever been in and I recommend it highly and there is a Telus Car Dealership in the mall with a Showroom in a Retail space with Telus cars for sale and a chassis without the car body so you can see how they are made and it’s fascinating and I met a Telus sales rep one night at dinner and he said the Telus is faster than a stock Ferrari and I may just buy one so I can out run Geno when he starts chasing me all over town in his Ferrari in Downtown Naples FL where the whole town has a 25 mile per hour speed limit and it makes no sense to drive a Ferrari 25 miles an hour so I am at the Weston in Cape Coral FL where my sailing yacht is in the Yacht Club and I will board it and set sail for Naples FL tomorrow and will be reporting from there on the next Big Show and go ahead Geno I am trying to set sail here so hurry up.

Gene Luciano: I know where you are Blow Fish you son of a bitch you are right here in Cape Coral FL and I am coming for you and I will see you soon.

Blow Fish: Geno I am on my way to Boca Ration so I will see you there and tomorrow we will be in Boca Raton FL where I will introduce the Long Arm of the Law and I asked her if I could include her on the Big Show and she said hell no so she is coming on the show anyway and you will meet her tomorrow when she explains the music of the day and here she is now to explain the song of the day today and with no further interruptions or consideration of good taste Ladies and Gentlemen the Long Arm of the Law.

Long Arm of the Law: I know what this song is about and it is a sexual position and it is where the man lays down on his back and the woman sits on top and his dick is hard as a rock and that is Life on the Rock and tomorrow I will be staring on the Big Show where I will demonstrate what position the song of the day is so check back in tomorrow so you will understand who I am when I reach out and take you away and lock you up or hang you up high if you have killed anyone and I have some murderers to arrest so they will be hung up high by the Long Arm of the Law so see you tomorrow in Boca Raton FL.

Gene Luciano: I’m not buying that Blow Fish bull shit you are in Cape Coral and I have Gordon my Head Henchman with me and he is out of jail again and pissed and we are coming to get you and blow you fucking brains out of your head and you will be deader than shit and then we will throw your corpse in the Collier County Landfill and piss in your face and then pay the front end loader driver to cover you up and that will be the end of you and then Brevard will finish off your sister and we will divide up your wealth and so I will see you soon.

Blow Fish: Geno you sure are ruining my Restaurant Review with all your death treats and negativity so please check back in tomorrow when I will be trashing all the Restaurants in the Cape Coral and Ft. Myers and working by way to Naples FL and then putting them out of business and sailing from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar to find where the Bale Maker and setting him up and finding which Restaurants are worthy of your business and so until tomorrow Geno come get me you Chicken Shit and bring your fat Head Henchman with you and tell him he looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and not Telly Savalas and he is just going to get himself arrested again.

This just in from Destin FL the character Bubba here on the Big Show who is Allan Hunter in real life is about to be arrested for Cocaine Possession and this isn’t his first charge and he has been so addicted to cocaine that he lost all of his teeth and so I guess some things never change so Good Luck Bubba with your sentence and I mean that brother so hang in there for more infomation.