This is my last blog. Gay Charles has given me an order to stop blogging and I have no other choice but to confer with his organization or either I will not be able to sleep at night and that’s not it, it’s that I won’t be able to wake up ever. See Gay Charles Gay Leader of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang has captured my Blow Fish ass and apparently he and Gene Luciano are in cahoots with one another and Geno is supplying these dumb assholes with the Intel they need to locate me and take me down and turn me in for the rest of my life in a place so horrible that I can only describe it as a prison with free drugs. I was allowed to only sleep and drool for 3 days straight and then on the 4th day I woke up and was allowed to eat solid food again and then I watched TV that day and the next day and the head of the facility walked in and said why is this man still here he has done nothing but watch TV for 2 days get him out of here while everyone else was acting like a bunch of dumb ass hillbilly rednecks at a Tiki Bar Happy Hour a hootin and hollerin at the top of their lungs high on drugs 24 hours a day.
So on this my final day I am playing the song “My Song” and dedicating it to my Sugar, Taylor Swift who asked me to play my song and here it is and I am going to Play It Again and Taylor Swift my Sugar who among others is bearing me a child and is with me here in my Island Hideaway and so as Gay Charles has said I must get off the air and I have a caller go ahead please.
Connie: Honey where have you been? I was worried sick, I haven’t heard from you and couldn’t contact you on the Blog and you didn’t take my calls and I have exciting news. I am pregnant and it’s not my husband’s baby it is yours and mine and we are going to be parents and so we need to celebrate with a good old fucking fuck fest wouldn’t you say?
Blow Fish: Sweetie I am feeling under the weather, I think I will have to get back to you. I have been through a terrible experience and feel that my life has passed before my eyes and had a near death experience and hang on its Geno calling in to gloat. Go ahead the cause of my discontent.
Gene Luciano: Call me Geno one more time and I will fucking kill you Blow Fish you son of a bitch. It’s me goof ball, I’m just fucking with you it’s Chef Cuvee and I am wondering when will we see you here in my restaurant with your disgusting Restaurant Review? The customers are demanding that you review our food like you know something I don’t know about food and if you say it taste like that Dog Shit at Harbor Docks then I will be shutting you down just like Gay Charles did and you will not be able to sit down after I screw you over so bad just like I did my daughter last night because she is on the rag and so I fucked her in the ass because she says that she is pregnant so get over here and see her before she gets fat and you better hurry up because she is blowing up like a balloon right in front of my eyes so here she is your little mommy girl or baby momma or momma with a baby in the oven.
Ms Cuvee: Daddy is talking so nasty I just had a little blood down there in my coochie and he was afraid I was having a miscarriage and so he gave it to me in the ass as a precaution and I am just being careful here and doing my due justice and what the hell does that mean Daddy why am I doing my due justice?
Chef Cuvee: I don’t know what you are talking about I just said you need to check this guy out before you sleep with him and I said you need to get a background check ran on him before you meet him and you didn’t you went behind my back and starting screwing him and now you are pregnant and I am finished with both of you so get out of my house and out of my restaurant and go live with Blow Fish and Taylor Swift who he is with right now and I am just kidding, I bet I scared the hell out of you so lets get a Restaurant Review in here so I can put it all over the Internet and all my customers will shut the fuck up about it and when they complain I just drug them and they get sick as hell and get the hell out of here and never come back and when they are good customers I take a video of them like it’s a big deal and they watch it on the internet and it is the boringness piece of crap footage in the world but they buy it and keep coming back in then and they think they own the place and that pisses me off and I drug them and run them off and start on another couple or a single woman and I have a caller so please excuse me I think it is Amy Grant calling in to tell me how good her Tuna was at her wedding so please excuse me.
Ms Cuvee: I think you should know that my Daddy is going to try and kill you just like Gay Charles so you better watch out when you come over here.
Blow Fish: The last time I was there I stepped inside the door and he saw me with one foot inside and came running over like I was talking in the library and he was going to throw me out because I was acting unruly and why is he so controlling that he thinks he can control how everyone acts in that sanitarium that he calls a Bistro? That’s not Bistro! I am sure that a Bistro is where people come to have a good time why doesn’t he call it a Reading Room or something more similar to how he expects his customers to behave in there and stop acting like people have a good time in there and why would anyone pay those exorbitant prices to just sit there and sip on a glass of wine which he decides what wine you get and why would anyone take that shit from your Daddy Chef Cuvee?
Chef Cuvee: It was just Amy Grant and Vince Gill calling to thank me for the wonderful food they had at their wedding so where were we and oh yea so you think I am running a library here with a bunch of Como Toast Victims who aren’t allowed to talk unless I speak to them first well I am the Chef and the Chef runs the place so that is correct and I just want to make sure everyone knows that the whole eating and drinking experience here has to do with me and not them so if you come in here it is all about me and not them so you will sit there and drink your wine slowly and not swill it or spill it or you will be thrown out and I have a better way to get rid of you wine swillers and spillers and you know how I do that so I will let you explain that and I will just say that my daughter’s pussy is some Fine USDA Inspected Prime Meat and I mean she is a Filet Mignon and I know you will agree.
Blow Fish: No I would say she is a choice rib eye but not prime so on this my Restaurant Review I will say that Ms Cuvee’s pussy is like a Choice Rib Eye and today it is red and rare and has blood running out of it so it is rare minus Chef Cuvee and she tells me and I don’t know why but she does so I will share with my viewers that her Daddy’s dick is like a Fine Wine and just keeps getting better with time and that would be my Restaurant Review from Cuvee Bistro and I gotta go as Pirate Randy says and here he is Ladies and Gentlemen it’s the man at large or the man on the run or the fugitive at large right here on the Big Show Randy Fucking Himself Over Gibson with another confession and go ahead Randy and please remember you are still sworn in and under oath and this is your final will and last testament or your confession or the evidence that I am holding over your head like a guillotine that’s about to fall and cut your dick off and shove it up your ass so go ahead and confess away Mr. Fugitive at Large or the one out on bail and everyone beware Mr. Randy Gibson is out on bail and I don’t want him to try and get anyone to help him or get you to try and hide him or anything and so go ahead Pirate Randy that good timing frisky pirate playboy without a care in the world because your parents left you millions go ahead liar.
Randy Gibson: What was that about a guillotine? I am not in any trouble see we had the attorney’s ready to take care of any trouble and they slapped an injunction on the whole arrest process or what would have been an arrest and then we just walked away because there is a loop hole in the law that says that the driver of the truck is not in possession of what is in the trailer because that belongs to the shipper and that is the Horse Feed Co that we were working for and they are located in Texas so the Police are after them and that clears me and we had the whole thing setup in advance in case anything went wrong and we had a flat tire and still had 17 tires still inflated so we kept on driving and were already over weight so we avoided the scales and then we got pulled over and the Police tried to arrest us when they cut the lock off the trailer and found all pot and no horse feed in the trailer and I just said “Holy Shit what has this Horse Feed Co in Texas tried to pull and that is all we know about that and I want to talk to my attorney. I have no other statements I would like to make” and we were out of there in no time.
Leslie One of the Bitches: Randy Gibson you lying son of a bitch you are so full of shit you were guilty as hell so why don’t you do what you told Blow Fish to do when he was drugged by Harbor Docks and got thrown in jail and you told him to go ahead and turn yourself in and go to jail for a year because he was guilty as hell of drunk driving, he does it all the time so why don’t you just throw yourself in jail for 10 – 20 years like you told Blow Fish to do? Fucking Liar!
Randy Gibson: I was just about to call you and tell you to shut the fuck up or I will come over there and break your fucking arm and maybe two if you don’t stop telling that story Leslie and I mean it so shut the fuck up.
Leslie One of the Bitches: What is this One of the Bitches what is that about Blow Fish?
Blow Fish: Well Caddy Lac calls you and your sister the Bitches because that’s who you are Bitches as he explained it to me they are Bitches so I just thought you should know how the love of your life referees to you behind your back and I have to tell you that you both are allot to handle at one time I mean you both are trying to screw me at the same time while you are bad mouthing Randy Fucking You Over Gibson at the same time and trying to get me to fuck you and not your sister who is trying to get me to date her by saying we are dating and then I got that old battle axe as Randy Fucking Himself Over on the Big Show Gibson calls her and then her and your sister are fighting over me and then I got Oreo behind the bar trying to take me home with her and then Krissa asking from across the room when are we going to start having sex and then go out on a date and then I move into your house and it becomes my house and I have a caller.
Krissa: Wayne we have to go out on a date and then we can start having sex I think that’s how it works and so far we haven’t been on a single date have we and do not start that Elton John bullshit story about how you stood me up when you asked me and then we just didn’t go so stop telling everyone that you stood me up for the Elton John concert and took that Lisa Fucking Gaddis bitch that rode your face like a fucking Bronco and screamed Hey Y’all and Yee Haw at the same time.
Lisa Fucking Gaddis: What are you talking about Krissa? Blow Fish just fucked the living shit out of my pussy and forced me to have sex with him and now I can’t walk for a week and you know yourself how he likes it rough so I just went berserk on his mouth and I am sure you do too when he wraps that tongue of his around your pussy and then you start having orgasms and you don’t stop Cuming until you scream so I know you understand.
Krissa: No I know nothing about that I just lay there like a fat slob and don’t make a sound and I would never scream or say Hey Y’all and Yee Haw or anything and so Blow Fish when are we going to start dating and having sex so I can get me a house of my own?
Connie: Look bitches and I do mean all of you why don’t you read back where he said his sister has stolen all 19 of his houses and his stock portfolio and his Millions and leave him alone about your selfish needs and Honey what about our baby and when are we getting married and I am filing for divorce and leaving my husband so please come eat my pussy and make me scream Hey Y’all and Yee Haw at the same time too.
Terri Lynn: I know this is all about me because everything is so all you whores back off I saw him first and he is mine and I will be the one screaming out and getting my brains fucked out of my head until I lay there with nothing but a smile on my face just like what Gay Charles just did to Blow Fish when he fucked him over until he just sat there with a smile on his face drooling and that sounds like what I feel like after Blow Fish finishes with me and that is a happy place to be and where I want to go so when are you coming home and fucking my brains right out of my head Honey?
Taylor Swift: Wayne what in the hell are you doing up come back to bed please and get me wet and I will get you wet and then we will screw again while we can because when I get fat I will no longer want to get wet just give birth.
Blow Fish: Well Sugar I was just sitting here on the internet returning a few emails to my fans and answering a whole lot of questions about eating pussy and screaming and I was reading up on having sex with a pregnant woman and not calling them fat and so I will no longer call my sister fat and just call her Normal or Average because I saw a movie the other night and Oprah was in the Cast of Characters and she has gotten fat again or I mean average or normal looking and now my Mother from the Grave and not that other place that is so easy to get into, all you have to do is just be born perfect to get in there and I don’t know anyone that was born perfect my son was born screaming and went to bed screaming and waking up screaming for years and is probably screaming at his patients right now in the Insane Asylum and your dumb asshole mother sent you there to work so blame that bitch not me and so I was saying that my fat as hell sister Carol K who looks like Oprah only a White version and not the Nigger version but is a Dumb-ass Nigger and White Trash and her and Bob Taylor are crooks and going to jail and are as stupid as these Dumb Asshole Rednecks of the Gulf Coast and just white trash and going down along with their big ole fucking a nigger whore in the asshole boss Brevard up in that big ole Atlanta GA and then we will see all you mother fuckers rounded up and I hope everyone is enjoying the photo of Randy Gibson and AJ being rounded up by the Po Po just this side of Loco Texas where they were arrested on this fantasy blog.
But in Randy Gibson’s confession he didn’t confess where they pulled him over he just confessed the 184.14 tons of Marijuana Bales and having a flat tire and being over weight and having a pasture full of brand new semi rigs that looks like a new semi truck dealership just North of Gainsville FL and they were bringing in the truck loads of bales from the North instead of bringing it in from the South like they had been doing it for years and that lead to another whole confession about smuggling bales in thru the Florida Keys and I haven’t gotten to the FL Keys yet on this my Tiki Bar Tour so I won’t ruin that for you so we will have to wait and see and that is what that Evil Whore Kimmy said when I splattered my cum all over her face and she couldn’t see shit and had to wait and see after she licked all that shit off her face and swallowed it and said I love it like that and Gay Charles said if I said that on the internet one more time that his Little Gay Bitch Steve would kill me so I have slipped up and that is what Stacy with a I calls having sex or a dick slipped into her pussy by Bubba because she likes a woman’s tongue in her pussy and not a little tally whacker like Bubba has and Krissa has a pussy that a black nigger man’s dick has ruined and bull dike lover too and a tongue that fits well in a woman’s pussy because it’s so big proverbially as big as Bubbas dick because Randy Fucking You Over Gibson say’s that Krissa looks like a man and not a woman and her pussy is too big according to Bubba’s last will and testament of the whole affair and Krissa isn’t even speaking to him for just that reason or because he shoved his fist up her dry pussy and didn’t spit on it first and so I will just say that I am now just calling Krissa’s pussy normal or average and not using big or wide or big and wide and I think I have heard as big and wide as the Grand Canyon and so Krissa I do not do normal or average and that would be you and Oreo and the Bitches or Caddy Lacs Bitches and that’s about everyone of you whores in Destin FL except for Lisa Fucking Gaddis who is prime meat Chef Cuvee and not your daughter the only thing is your daughter is a lady and Lisa Fucking Gaddis is an insane alcoholic who should not be allowed to have children or have a child that has to steal food from a Publix Grocery Store to feed herself and her drunk ass mother who comes home from a long day at work and drinking or both and so drunk she can’t walk in the door much less cook a meal and so stop making your child steal food and buy some fucking groceries you stupid fucking redneck whore and …
Taylor Swift: Honey where are you? We agreed that you wouldn’t work all week and we would just lay in bed and have sex like it was our honeymoon and you are on the internet so get off and get back in here and get on my pussy and stop yelling at those stupid assholes in Destin FL and lets get back to making love and I just want you to fuck my brains out of my head again so come on inhere now!
Blow Fish: OK Sugar just let me finish this thought and Gay Charles you can kiss my ass but that’s what you like, anything that taste like shit like your food at Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang your Gay Destination for Rotten Sushi and Gay Craft Beer in Downtown Destin FL and that would be my Restaurant Review for today that the Beer taste like Piss and the Food taste like Dog Shit or it all taste like Shit and the Beer is Piss and Gay Charles is the one that is pissing on that business and all you dumbass Hillbilly Fag Slaves are all going to jail or the poor house which is the same in Okaloosa County because if you can’t pay your bills there then someone will call the police and you will be in jail so when Gay Charles goes down and is locked up for what he does that he does to people and the US of A then you Hillbilly Fags are all going to be unemployed and then you will look for other jobs and they will tell you we don’t want no trouble from Harbor Docks and that would be who you are nothing but trouble and you will be run out of town and loose your pensions which is what Gay Charles is willing to give you when he wants you to have any money so say good bye to your retirement plans Steve and Jackie and look for work elsewhere cause you will not find it in Destin Fl because who the hell would hire a couple of assholes like you and Steve told me that Captain Dave can’t work all year long and has to close for 3 months in the winter because he is such a drunk and that’s the way Harbor Docks Hillbilly Fags Gang talks about the competition so don’t give theses losers a job and don’t think about moving to another of Gay Charles restaurants because those are being seized too and you know what I mean Gay Charles so kiss your ass goodbye and stop having me arrested so let me see you owe me $20K in attorney fees and $100K for making me close my business and being run out of town by a bunch of Hillbilly Fags and then I had to move my business and that’s another $20K and then there is loss of income for the 2 weeks you have had me locked up and that’s $20K because I make more money than you bunch of fucking low life losers there and so that totals and we don’t have a total yet of my liens filed with the county for damages against me by you Harbor Dicks and I will just say that you all better look for work and don’t even think about cooking any turkeys at Thanksgiving because you will all be too busy crawling out from under the pile of Blow Fish bull shit that I am about to cover your asses up with and ….
Taylor Swift: Honey what are we listening to? Are you writing the Big Show and playing this song? You said you were going to play My Song which is Our Song!
Blow Fish: Now Sugar I am not going to repeat myself again if you want to know what I said you will just have to read back starting at Day One and catch up because you said please play my song and this is My Song by Luke Bryan and you said play My Song and I am playing it again just like you asked me to and I am trying to pour a little sugar in your Dixie cup and now I have repeated myself and so read back and catch up or you won’t know what I’m talking about just like Taylor Swift and you my viewers and fans or the fans that are trying to lock me up just like Gay Charles and you know who you are and I am just kidding so watch out as Harbor Docks closes it’s doors and is out of business because they are full of shit on this my Restaurant Review on this day on the Big Show so go by and see what the fish looks like and see if it all smells like Tilapia which is that stinking smell when you walk in the door or is that Jackie’s Chinese pussy? You be the judge and I don’t want to say too much and ruin the surprise for you so go by there and give it the scratch and sniff test and see where that stench is coming from because there is a strong smell of Chinese pussy or Tilapia coming from some where there.
Ms Jackie Chinese Dragon Dominatrix Queen: I am really a Tall Ditzy Blond trapped inside the body of a Short Asshole Chinese Woman.
Blow Fish: That was not my idea of what you should say to describe yourself but you said it so why don’t we just say that your dumbass hole caller id fits you better because I do not want anything to do with a dysfunctional Dominatrix Queen it’s just upside down thinking as Zac Brown says if you think you can get what you want by doing the opposite thing that you should me doing to get someone to love you or screw you or whatever it is that you are after you ain’t getting it here witch so look for it some where else because I wouldn’t touch you with Greenburg’s ten foot pole that he slaunders those little bass fishies with so forget about it and that’s how Geno would tell you but he doesn’t say “Forget about it!” because he is the Mayor Old Naples FL or that’s his disguise he is hiding behind and when he talks people listen because he maybe saying that his Google Stock is doing really well which is a fucking lie because he ain’t got no stock at all just a bunch of fucking lies or he might be saying he is going to fucking kill you if you don’t stop doing whatever it is you are doing so watch out Jackie because what you’re doing is going to put you and Steve in the slammer and that is stealing from Gay Charles who will have you both locked up to reduce his sentence and lower his jail time so you two get a couple of years to sit in the slammer and that is a federal prison and that’s what you get for throwing my Blow Fish ass in the local poky so go there and sit for two years and when you get out I will expect a public apology and I can’t wait so I want a public apology on the TV and the Newspaper and you won’t do that so just go to jail for 4 years and try and get out early on good behavior but you ain’t got good behavior so Gay Charles they are stealing your cash so check it out and have them locked up before you are locked up because it is embezzling and it’s against the law and then that money hasn’t been claimed on your income tax and that is a crime so go to jail for that and blame it on those two criminals that have stolen the money you didn’t report and then gave it to you and that is the way the law reads, if you take the money from the business you stole it and then if you don’t report it then you go to jail so go to jail all of you and sit there and think about what you have done to the peoples life in Destin FL for years and the way you have treated them like slaves so you could live like slave owners which is who you are and not the kings you think you are just a bunch of asshole slave owners and crooks and soon we will look at other slave owners and ask where did you buy them and how much did you pay for them and how are writing that off on your income tax return and you know who you are so watch out because it cost some men millions to own their own nigger slave called a high-end prostitute that I can just walk up and take away from you and then she becomes what you Lost and what I Found and Evil Whore Kimmy find another job and good luck keeping your stealing and lying job at Pompano Joe’s where you served me for free in exchange for sex which you never got shit from me but a kiss to set up Harbor Docks but Bubba got it so arrest Bubba for selling sex in exchange for free drinks and Petie you better find a good job cause you are going down Poacher and then loose your bartender license for throwing snow balls at your customers and getting them arrested and so run like hell because he is really accurate with those snow balls but a lousy business man and needs another boat for his poaching business because the Po Po knows which one he is using now and ….
Taylor Swift: Blow Fish get off that computer and come eat my pussy or I am calling Greenburg to come finish what you started and didn’t finish and I mean it and I will call your family…
Blow Fish: Now hold it right there little lady, I will not have you involving my family in our sex life my first wife told my mother I was screwing her in the ass and I had to get rid of her ass so don’t start that I am going to call your family shit with me and stay away from Greenburg he is working with Gay Charles to have me locked up and he won’t stop so you better watch out Greenburg or I will ruin your business and I have already warned you so look for Greenburg the Waterfront Expert in Pensacola FL and call him up and ask him if he has any waterfront property for sell that won’t be underwater when the Polar Ice Caps melt from the crap that we are burning at the land fill and the heat going to the top of the atmosphere and stays there and warms up the whole environment and the Polar Ice melts and then all the waterfront property we all have now is underwater so watch for that coming up really soon and ask Greenburg what he is doing to stop it and he ain’t doing shit because he doesn’t recycle and still drinks tap water too because he is too cheap to buy spring water and doesn’t even know how my Bai Coconut stock is doing and it is actually privately owned and is number 13 on the list of Forbes Most Promising Companies and my buddy Zac Brown is a partner in the LLC and so it is not a publicly traded stock Greenburg so watch it when it goes public and place your bet and that would be my Stock Tip of the Day because that liar Geno knows nothing about the stock market and is just a bold face fucking liar.
Gene Luciano: Well I see we locked your ass up permanently and you have escaped again so next time I will have to over see the whole operation myself. I trusted Gay Charles with the project and he just screwed it up just like Faggots screw up everything including themselves and their own businesses but not me so you are going away permanently so when you go down for good it will be me Gene Luciano that pulls the trigger and not Gay Charles because you know I do not miss at point blank with my 22 Caliber pistol with the compression chamber because it is both effective and economical and does a really good job of blowing your Blow Fish brains out. So watch out and stand on the sheet of plastic so I don’t have to clean your DNA up all over the place and that is Gordon’s job, he has to clean up after me and then I have to clean up his mess because my crew always fucks up and I am the man in charge and next time I will make the hit myself and not trust Gay Charles to screw it up with a bunch of Hillbilly Fags to mess things up.
Blow Fish: Who ever you are you aren’t Geno who would have already killed me before he would have said all that he just says where is my gun or a chair to beat you to death with or lets go to Aqua Bar and Grill where he will kill in privacy and thrown your ass down the garbage disposal so Gay Charles you chicken shit faggot stop stealing peoples identity and talk to me man to man or man to faggot or you go first and that would be faggot to man.
Gay Charles: Well you got me again and what is all this talk about me going to jail you are the one that is going to jail and I am putting you back in jail and you won’t leave this time they will lock you up in a cell and the guards will anal rape you and that means they will fuck you in the asshole until they kill you or either they will just let one of my Hillbilly Fags in the cell with you and he will cut your throat in the middle of the night and let you bleed out and leave the next morning and they will call it a suicide and what do you say to that chicken shit?
Blow Fish: I know how you get rid of people you have a problem with Gay Charles so I went into your restaurant and ate lunch one day and all your whores that you had working there that you decided were Dirty Birds as you called them because they weren’t sleeping with your bus boys, they were eating each others pussy and so you fired all the dirty birds and replaced them with Atlanta or North Georgia faggots that will give you a blow job when you’re in town so I know how you do it all and you have people thrown in jail and you send someone into the jail and cut their throat or stab them in their sleep and they bleed out and the jail calls it death from natural causes so I am calling for an Okaloosa County Jail head count and that’s what they do now so let’s have a real head count where they ask you what your name is cause they don’t care what your name is they just want to know how many heads they have so they get paid for as many heads as they can by the State of Florida and the Okaloosa County jail system is corrupt and they all are if you ask me so lets have a count at the Okaloosa County Jail and see if anyone has died of natural causes lets dig them up and do an autopsy and they don’t bury their victims there they burn the evidence and throw your ashes in the county landfill so lets look into that and tie those deaths to Gay Charles Gay Leader of the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang just like Gene Luciano who says you are incompetent but he don’t know that word so he would just say you are a Stupid Queer and he would be right so put that in your dope smoking crack pipe with the dick and 2 balls that Randy Gibson smokes pot in and then drops the damn thing and breaks it and has to go buy another one for his prostitute Lesbo whores that they call the Randy Gibson Special and that would be 2 prostitutes and a gram of cocaine from the Big Dick at the Harbor Dock Hillbilly Fags Gang where I will be having a Blow Fish Shot Party and I had a little shot party there and paid the bartender $165 for my shots and when I came back into to order Sushi and get myself drugged and thrown in the county jail for kissing the Evil Whore Kimmy and the bartender from out on the Big Dick said what about all those Patron Shots you ordered the last time you were here that you didn’t pay for and I said “I already paid my $165. tab.” And he said that’s right I don’t know how you could have remembered that when you had drank that many shots and the General Manger said “And you call that fun?” and I am telling you right now I call that My Job and this is what I do and you are all going down even that fucking bartender that served me the drugs in my drink and then stood at the other end of the bar and said “ I am not getting involved in this I am staying out of it” Well how the hell can you commit a felony by drugging someone and then raise your hands in the air and say I am not getting involved in the crime you just committed so I know who you are and where you came from and where you live and where you Mama lives so you can kiss your bartending ass goodbye and find a nice lawn maintenance job but those are all taken by Mexicans and soon we will hear Bubba say he can’t get a carpentry job because he is a carpenter for life and has the email to prove it so Bubba will be looking for a carpentry job on the Big Show and you will be looking for a Lawn maintenance job and you won’t find one as a convicted felon with his photo in the newspapers and on the TV screen so you better go work at a Gay Bar in Atlanta and you can’t go there cause you can’t leave the fucking county so where are you assholes going to live and work when you get out on parole and can’t get a job and can’t leave the county just like Randy Fucking You Over Gibson who is losing everything and coming out of the slammer homeless with no where to go and his kids are homeless and penny less and soon we will be looking at his new business venture where he is selling drugs to tourist where they call him up from a flyer they found at Captain Dave’s and order 2 chairs and an umbrella and a bag of weed and a gram of cocaine and his son delivers it all to the beach for you and it’s the real shit and not that synthetic cocaine shit AJ Laird is selling down at AJ’s Bar and Grill so I will be going there and closing their fucking doors sports fans so tune back in for the door closings that will be coming up this fall and then the places go up for auction and a nice franchise probably tears the whole fucking place down and then we have nothing but Margaritavilles on the Destin Harbor that do not drug their customers and do not hire convicted felons so watch for your unemployment check which ain’t coming because you are independent contractors and Gay Charles is breaking the law there as well and paying you cash to cut sushi out of town which is against the law and I have your confessions right here because you told me everything about the whole business and your lives and even showed me that you wore pink panties and why would a man where pink panties well that is called a cross dresser and I am sure Gay Charles knows about cross dressing and playing dress up and whipping the shit out of Randy Gibson’s ass which I am screwing over here on the internet on this fantasy blog where nothing is real and all the names have been changed to protect the innocent but everyone is guilty including Charles Morgan who is a faggot leader so that’s all true and he is guilty as hell and I am not your good buddy Steve and if you don’t enjoy what you are reading then move on because the Big Show is suppose to be entertaining and if you aren’t enjoying it then move on because it’s keeping me entertained while I am expressing my right to my free speech protected by the US Constitution and the 5th amendment and these fucking crooks like Gene Luciano believe that the constitution is protecting them because they should be allowed to make money anyway they want because this is a free country and they are free to do anything they want to do to you and free to steal from anyone and the US Constitution protects that right for them to do you in for you money because this is s free country and they can do as they please so watch out because that big old hammer is coming down and it will be Hammer Time so someone in Naples FL in Campiello’s scream out Hammer Time at the bar so Geno knows we are getting close and a bunch of green haired college students can run thru there and Geno will shit in his paints and the Vigina squad start in on Randy Fucking You Over Two At a Time Gibson with a gram or two of cocaine and don’t let him take a nap just fuck him to death but save some of his ass for the Federal Prosecutors and then AJ Laird drink up buddy cause you are going to a Federal Rehab where they are going to hook you up to the fucking chair and cure your drinking problem once and for all and fry your asshole and that would be the Crime Report which will be followed in the near future my the Arrest Report or who is going to the slammer and then Chef Cuvee I got your ass right here on the chopping block and your ass is mine you asshole and the crime is Credit Card Fraud and Tax Evasion and you’re all ready guilty so sit there and wait they are coming for you too and so on my Restaurant Review for today’s show I will just say you better find a new place to eat and drink and there are plenty of good places and I will start talking about them and when I start in on your ass Don Julio and Chef McGuire’s don’t worry because I’m not slamming your doors shut and will give you a fare review and then I will just move on around the coast and up to Atlanta where I will be closing the Russians Bars and Restaurants with this my Restaurant Review and you’re not all Russian but I tend to generalize and don’t like calling you East Europeans so you will all be called Russians even if you are Albanians or Mafia and that would be the Russian Mafia in Atlanta that I am taking down just like a bunch of Redneck Riviervians and so look for that this fall which is almost here so I am also dealing with a bunch of pirate mother fuckers in St Pete Beach and their Lesbo winches and then when I get to the ATL all you fucking Nigger Drug Dealer go down only they look like movie stars and Professional Athletes and I think they are so delusional from those designer drugs they are on that they really think they are sport celebrities and so we will have Sports Celebrity Day where you all call in and confess your crimes like Randy Fucking Himself and AJ Over Gibson and threaten to kill my Blow Fish asshole and throw me in the Forsyth County Landfill and that’s in Cumming GA where the Real Pirates of the Caribbean live and that’s true Randy Fucking You Over Gibson theses rednecks called you an amateur pirate because they are the real deal and rape and kill and pillage and steal boats for a living and they are about to steal my boat from my lake house on Lake Lanier again right here on the Big Show and a few others because they have to do it because if they don’t steal the city slickers boats the whole damn lake would fill up with boats so it is God’s work that they are doing just like Randy Gibson and AJ Laird who ain’t done nothing from what I hear and what a Crock of Shit that is so get Randy Gibson liquored up Vigina Whores and get a confession out of him and I already got it sports fans and who the hell will the Judge believe Randy Fucking You Over Again Gibson or the Fucking FBI and I will say that these boat pirates of Lake Lanier who call themselves the Where’s Waldo Gang which is what they called me after they drugged me and stole one of my boats and oh yea I have sent a whole bunch of people with boats out there just waiting for you to steal them and so I call these Pirates the Beret Gang and that’s because the leader and head honchos wear berets or they did so the Beret Gang is going down and they will be calling in and here they are.
Where’s Waldo: I told you if you said anything about us stealing your boat we will come to your house and beat the living shit out of you again and we nearly beat you to death the last time so if you want more of that just start talking about what we did to you when we stole your boat.
Blow Fish: Thank you asshole for your call and so look for your asshole going to jail for Murder One just like AJ and Randy Gibson who ain’t done nothing which is what I heard and I will tell you that 100’s of people have disappeared from Lake Lanier and 1000’s of boats and they did a 60 minutes TV Show on it and had one poor victim that came forward and made a statement and no one else in the county would even admit that it really happens there and all the locals know what is going on and I grew up there and spent my summers on the lake and I know what goes on and one local woman on 60 Minutes said “It’s a Big Lake and it’s dangerous!” and it is with theses killers out there stealing boats and beating people to death and they beat me until my head looked a fucking toads head with both my eyes so swollen I couldn’t see and they knocked out a tooth and I had poison ivy all over my body from hiding in the woods all night and all that together is called terrorism and it’s a gang crime and they all go down like terrorist and go to a special place where they lock you up in a chain link fence like the animals that you are and then they get confessions from your victims and the next of kin and then you get the fucking chair so don’t threaten me mother fuckers because you are so set up you are gone right now so sit there as the lake cools off and you stop stealing boats because it’s a seasonal business and it was but now they are stealing them year round so if you come back in the spring and your boat is gone and you called the police and they did nothing and told you to call your insurance company and then you got a call from a private number that told you if you call the Police again or your insurance company they will beat you to death and then kill your family then call the FBI and start an investigation after these Pirates of Lake Lanier are arrested and lets see them fry in the fucking electric chair on this fantasy blog where you can’t find my ass or my boat or can you because they are looking for me now in Panama City and they can’t find my Blow Fish ass and so I guess I must have moved on so keep looking and find my Blow Fish asshole in another port of call.
Taylor Swift: Honey are coming back to bed or should I start without you?
Blow Fish: Now just hold on right there I had that problem with X wife #2 and I had to send her to a psychiatrist not for masturbating but just for lying about not masturbating and everything else because she is just such a bad fucking liar and lies about shit you saw her do and that’s her parents fault because her father lies about everything too and then laughs right in your face and I am coming Sugar and every thing will me back to normal.
Taylor Swift: Now I read on the Big Show that normal is now fat and if you think I look fat I would die and don’t think I have gained a pound yet.
Blow Fish: That’s true Sugar but you are so tiny that even 8 ounces looks like 8 pounds and so don’t worry about it cause you are going to have a beautiful little baby in your tummy one day and you will be a beautiful mommy and not look anything like your average looking mother.
Taylor Swift: Now you think I look like my mother and heard what you said you just compared me to my mother so get in her now!