I am just returning to my home in Roswell Georgia from being chased all over God’s Green Earth as Gene Luciano refers to it. I am pulling into the garage and my house keeper is going ballistic. She is screaming in broken English or broken Spanish “There are sexual devices in the pool Mr. Blow Fish.” If you have never heard me referred to as Blow Fish, it was my nickname in my last blog where Gene Luciano whom I refer to as the Devil in this my second blog because I made a deal with him and he is a man possessed.

 

So as I return home I am finding there are dildos in my pool. My chocolate lab is diving into the pool to retrieve these doggie treats and carrying them into the house like they are her babies, chewing them up and scattering the pieces all over the house. Carman my house keeper is cleaning the whole mess up as my lab heads back to the pool. The Lesbos next door are throwing their used dildos over in my pool to get me to come over there and service them upon my return and I am not buying into it or I will be stuck over there for days and I have work to do here at home before I leave to go kick some redneck ass down on the Gulf Coast of Florida. I am about to investigate the Bubbas of the Gulf Coast and I am asking my buddy Zac Brown for his expert advice since he is a country music icon and these stupid mother fuckering Bubbas think he is God or something.

 

If you read the first blog you know that the blog is actually a call in radio show called The Big Show. I am the narrator or the star of the show and not you Gene Luciano but I will take my first caller and I know who it is, my employer as he calls himself but he doesn’t pay me. See the deal was I would go all over God’s green earth but Gene thinks he owns it all and that’s what he said when he set me up in Naples FL. “I own all I perceive or prefer or want” basically that’s his words. So go ahead Geno and by the way he lets me talk to him anyway I want but if you called him Geno or God or asshole or any other name that Gene Luciano or Mr. Luciano, he will kill you deader than shit and I can’t be killed yet because it’s the opening scene in this movie or book or radio show or blog because I am writing a blog that will become a book and then a movie and then a DVD. So if you don’t understand the blog or The Big Show as it is called then buy the book and if you’re too stupid to read a book then go see the movie and if you’re too busy to go see a movie then rent the DVD and if you’re too cheap to rent a DVD then just fuck off and there it is, this blog or movie is now rated R because I have inserted quotes from other movies and if you guess the name of the movie and get it right I will take your naked pictures off the blog and there are hidden notes and signs to different people or characters and now I have pissed off my first caller and ladies and gentleman the biggest asshole on earth Gene Luciano. And every time I introduce some one, you the audience has to applaud and cheer so go ahead and applaud for Gene Luciano.

 

Audience: Applause!

 

Blow Fish: Gene Luciano how’s it hanging Bro?

 

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you crazy son of a bitch get off that computer and get back to  doing my work or I will come up there and put a bullet in your stupid blow fish head and blow your brains all over the door of your Atlanta home.

 

Blow Fish: Well Gene how did you know I was in Atlanta anyway?

 

Gene Luciano: Because I have your ass on GPS so I can track your movements.

 

Blow Fish: You can’t know where I am because I just threw my cell phone in the Ocean before I boarded the plane to fly home.

 

Gene Luciano: Well I have a new system for tracking you and I know where you are so you better get back to work or I am coming up there and blowing your brains out and pissing in your dead face.

 

Blow Fish: That doesn’t sound very Christian of you Geno.

 

Gene Luciano: I’m not a Christian you dumb asshole so kiss your blow fish ass goodbye. I’m leaving now and should be there in a few hours so get ready.

 

Blow Fish: Alright Geno I am ready, come and get it.

 

So that’s how Geno and I converse. He is always threatening to kill me in a different way and I guess one day he will eventually catch me but not today because I won’t be here by the time he gets here  because I am headed to the Gulf Coast of Florida to investigate the redneck Bubbas of Destin, Pensacola and Panama City and also the Flora Bama which is where my trip begins but first I have to find the source of all theses dildos in my pool so I am headed to Pasti’s Bar in historic downtown Roswell where I am known as the Mayor of Historic Roswell and I park my Red SL500 in the mayor’s reserved illegal parking spot on Canton St. and everyone will know I am back in town and Geno told me once he was the Mayor of Downtown Naples and I think I pissed him off when I said well you better watch out because I might just take that title away from you and so he set me up to make sure I never became more popular than him but that’s not what happened and I just pissed him off again by saying that because I am more popular than him because we all know in Naples that he is a fucking asshole killer and oops there I go again pissing him off so he will make another attempt on my blow fish life. So come on up Geno and take another shot at me before I take off for the Gulf Coast or the Redneck Riviera tomorrow morning. But first I am taking another caller. Go ahead caller.

 

Terri Lynn: I am shocked to find that you have returned home and didn’t let me know you were coming into town Honey!

 

Blow Fish: I was just about to call you and Geno had to interrupt my chain of thought and then I was out the door to look for some dinner.

 

Terri Lynn: Now you’re not going to Pasti’s on a Friday night without me are you Honey  because I know how all those whores down there think you are made of money and they all want to have sex with you all night long until you fuck their brains out.

 

Blow Fish: Now sweetie, you know that I only have eyes for you or eyes with you or is it that I got to go.

 

Terri Lynn: Wayne Ball what are you talking about.

 

Blow Fish: Well Gene is reading the blog and I know that he is now so confused and will think I am with you and he won’t look for me at Pasti’s.

 

Terri Lynn: Well whatever. Just wear that wedding band I gave you and those stupid whores will think you’re married and leave you alone.

 

Blow Fish: I have done that and they all know you gave it to me to scare them all off and they aren’t buying it and it’s just pissed them off and now they all call you The Bitch for being so controlling.

 

Terri Lynn: I guess I will just have to go down there and open up a can of whoop ass on them all and settle them down if they think that I am going to put up with them calling me The Bitch.

 

Blow Fish: OK I will let them know that you are pissed and packing heat and headed into town to blow them all away.

 

Terri Lynn: What are you talking about now, I don’t carry a gun.

 

Gene Luciano: Ok Blow Fish I am here and where the hell are you?

 

Blow Fish: Well if you were reading the Show or listening to the blog or reading the book or watching the movie you would know Geno.

 

Gene Luciano: Well I am reading the blog and think you are headed to Pasti’s to find out where all those dildos in your pool are coming from and Terri Lynn is headed down there to open a can of whoop ass and isn’t she just a little shit?

 

Blow Fish: Yes she is Geno. She’s a pistol and I think I pissed her off and now she is headed to Pasti’s to find out which one of the whores is throwing Dildos in my pool so I don’t have to go. So I am headed down to the Gulf Coast to start my investigation into what the Bubbas of the Gulf Coast are up to.

 

Gene Luciano: So I guess I am going to have to head now there and blow your brains out or I may just set your ass on fire you son of a bitch and stand there and watch you burn and I’m bringing my best friend Gordon with me and he will light his cigar off your burning corpse. He likes doing that for some crazy reason. I don’t know why.

 

Blow Fish: Then I will await your arrival in Destin Fl. That’s where you will find me at my home in the sleepy little beach town of Miramar Beach FL on Sandy Cay Dr.

 

Gene Luciano: I know where your house is in Destin. I called you there once and you didn’t answer the phone you chicken shit.

 

Blow Fish: I’m not chicken shit I just don’t have shit to say to you asshole.

 

Gene Luciano: That does it I’m on my way and Gordon is pissed too.

 

Blow Fish: OK see you assholes on the Redneck Riviera. Just watch your ass because those Bubbas wont like seeing a couple of wise guy Italians roaming around looking for one of their own.

 

Gene Luciano: Who are you talking about? You’re saying they think you are one of their own, a Bubba?

 

Blow Fish: Yes Geno. I have disguised myself as a Bubba. They think I am one of them. Just like you thought I was one of you in Naples remember?

 

Gene Luciano: What are you talking about? No one thought you were Italian.

 

Blow Fish: Come on Geno we were best friends. My photo was on your website for your charter boat. Your were the captain and I was your client.

 

Gene Luciano: What are talking about I saw right through your Blow Fish disguise.

 

Blow Fish: And after the photo shoot your number 1 wife Julie took me up to the tuna tower so she could tell me how you aren’t getting the job done anymore and how she wants to come over to my Naples home so I can screw her but I have to get that killer hit woman Marla that you have on my ass out of the house before she gets there.

 

Gene Luciano: I was setting you up dumb asshole. You never had me fooled.

 

Blow Fish: Yes I did and I have the proof. Remember that photo you sent me of your asshole?

 

Gene Luciano: You mean when I shot you a moon and then put the photo on your phone. That was just because you’re too chicken shit to shoot anyone a moon.

 

Blow Fish: That’s it. I think my point was that if I were to shoot a moon at someone then the whole thing might end up on the internet. So I’m not too chicken shit just too classy and I still have that photo of your ass hole and your dangling balls and I had it on the website of the first blog for sale for $50 and everyone in Naples were too cheap to buy it so this time I am just giving it away just like your number 1 wife Julie and I have another caller Geno so I have to go but be sure to check back and see your ass or derrière or your worst side is on the internet for all to see.

 

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish I am going to blow you up into little blow fish pieces and then piss on your scraps if you post that photo. I mean it you son of a bitch now delete that photo or you are going to be deader than shit and I mean it Blow Fish.

 

Blow Fish: Got to go for now Geno. But I will be seeing your ass later.

 

So that’s how Gene Luciano and I converse on the blog and he will threaten to kill me about 142 different ways before we are finished and I will always allude him or delude him into thinking I am already gone or have left the country or something so check back in each day for a progress report from Gene Luciano and look for his photo on the internet but first I need to send it to an expert on gay porn and see if this is a full moon joke or a perverted proposal for sex. I think this Geno guy may be turning gay. So I will text it to my buddy Scot in Roswell or East Cobb or Marietta and if you live in Marietta you might lie and say you live in East Cobb and wish you lived in Roswell where I live and Terri Lynn lives right around the corner so she can run over and get me to fuck her brains out and I wonder if she has found the source of the dildo over population in Roswell GA. Let me check in with her.

 

Blow Fish: Terri Lynn are you there? And I need to explain that when I say you are calling in, you will be calling and when I say the audience will applaud you will applaud and when I say Terri Lynn she will be saying.

 

Terri Lynn: Yes honey what is it?

 

Blow Fish: And that is how she answers my calls. So if you aren’t getting a Honey what can I do for you and only getting this is Terri Lynn then either you aren’t paying her enough or she doesn’t know your number or got your number and she has got my number and has torn it up for years. So Sweetie did you find the supplier of my problem or the source of my discontent or the owner or owners of all these dildos.

 

Terri Lynn: Yes I have. It is Wayne Roberts.

 

Blow Fish: That son of a bitch Wayne Roberts. That fucking pervert.

At this junction or conjunction or whatever this point of the blog that we are in I must explain that I have changed the names of the innocence like Terri Lynn which is not her real name but her stage name so no one will know who I am talking about. See Terri Lynn is her stripper name or dancer name or whatever you whores call it now and she is actually a prostitute that I pay to have sex with me and I don’t really have to pay for it but she has to charge for it so it’s just easier and a much quicker response time on her part if I just pay for it because when I do she is on it in no time and before you know it I have to make another payment because she has me on a payment plan or an installment plan or a retainer or she’s on a retainer or someone is calling in and oh it’s Terri Lynn I must have lost her.

Blow Fish: Yes sweetie!

 

Terri Lynn: I just heard you say you had some money for me so I will be right over to give you a kiss, you are so sweet. I do need the money I am barely able to make ends meet theses days and your donations are what keep me alive and they help support my son who as you know is in boarding school so that he can get a proper education and one day may be the President of the United States hopefully so I am on my way over.

 

Blow Fish: Wait a minute what about Wayne Roberts. Did you tell him to stop giving all the women at Pasti’s free dildos so they will stop throwing them in my pool?

That’s all we need is a gay president with a prostitute mother to straighten this country out.

 

Terri Lynn: I did but he took me out to his car and opened his trunk and showed me the latest new brand of dildo that he has and then we got in the back seat of his car and he had a new brand of lubricant and he squirted that lubricant up my pussy and then shoved the dildo up my ass and I screamed with delight and now I am headed over to your house and going to throw the used dildo in your pool as he instructed me to do.

 

Blow Fish: Are you telling me that Wayne Roberts is still screwing women in the parking lot at Pasti’s with his brand of dildo and telling them to go throw the used dildo in my pool when they’re finished with it and then come back for a new one.

 

Terri Lynn: Yes he is and he says he won’t stop until you stop telling people about it on the internet. He was pissed and he said he was shoving the dildo up my pussy but when he shoved it up my anis I thought of you and how you never fuck me in the ass and I am pissed too and headed to your house to throw this used dildo in the pool because you know how uppity Roswell women don’t like used dildos. We like the new ones still in the wrappers. So I am headed your way and by the way did I leave my vibrator over there last time I was there, I need it back.

 

Blow Fish: Somebody is going to get pink eye from that used dildo. What are you talking about have you seen my electric tooth brush?

 

Terri Lynn: Yes I have, I have been using it instead of my vibrator because I can’t find my vibrator.

 

Blow Fish: Well why don’t you just fuck yourself with that dildo Wayne Roberts gave you and give me back my electric tooth brush.

 

Terri Lynn: Because I can’t find my vibrator and I have to masturbate or I will go insane. You know that besides the dildo is used and Wayne Roberts has instructed me to throw the dildo in your pool.

 

Blow Fish: I know that just bring my tooth brush back and come get your vibrator.

 

Terri Lynn: OK but where is my vibrator. I can’t find it.

 

Blow Fish: It will be at the bottom of the pool by the time you get here with those used dildos so get it yourself and return my electric tooth brush.

 

Zac Brown: Buddy Roo. Who is that horrible woman?

 

Blow Fish: Ladies and gentleman the talented Zac Brown.

 

Audience: Applause

 

Blow Fish: That was one of my many X wives or lovers or Terri Lynn my X lover in Roswell GA telling everyone what the women are like in Roswell GA. I’m headed down to deal with the Redneck Bubbas on the Gulf Coast of Florida and want my audience to know the kind of sophisticated ladies I normally date in the Roswell area. They all drive Mercedes and have big old plastic titties and own their own houses and have good jobs or a profession in Terri Lynn’s case. You know she is like a third generation high end prostitute?

 

Zac Brown: I don’t know what you are talking about her being a lady. She sounds horrible. What does she do for a living? Is she a real prostitute?

 

Blow Fish: She is a lady of the night but she does most of her work in broad daylight in the rough on the better golf courses in Atlanta. She gives golfers blow jobs while they are playing their game right on their golf cart. But she is so ADD that she never finishes anything she starts. She went to modeling school but didn’t finish that and then was a dancer at the Lime Light which she is quite proud of and sold sex in exchange for drugs. That’s how she got her start. Then she got married to one of her Johns that frequented the bar and got pregnant and had a son. But she didn’t finish the marriage and got a divorce and then she didn’t finish raising her son and sent him off to boarding school so she wouldn’t have to deal with him. Now she gives blow jobs to golfers in the Atlanta area right on the golf course and she never finishes that either. She starts and then doesn’t finish and says leave it out and I will finish it in a minute and then forgets what she was doing and just takes their money and leaves. She just never finishes anything. Some men say that their dicks just fall out of her mouth. I have heard several men say that myself. It’s a real problem for her.

 

Zac Brown: Buddy Roo I have never heard of anything so nasty and disgusting in my whole life. Why do these men keep coming back to have sex with her?

 

Blow Fish: Zac why do you always call me Buddy Roo? Don’t you know my real name?

 

Zac Brown: Of course I do. I have it right here on speed dial Where Is Wayne Ball. And I know the more I say that the more the search engines will find the website and one day some one will be looking for Terri Lynn on google and right there in the search results they’ll find “She starts sucking the golfer’s dick and then it just falls out of her mouth.”

 

Blow Fish: That’s right Zac Brown and one day your name may come up with my name and then people with ask you who is Buddy Roo and then you will say well that’s my buddy Where Is Wayne Ball.

 

Zac Brown: That’s right so I know your name I just prefer to call you Buddy Roo because it sounds more country than Where is Wayne Ball and don’t you need my help working with the Bubbas of the Gulf Coast investigation? And what are you investigating? I thought you were a kitchen designer.

 

Blow Fish: Well that’s just my cover but what I am really doing is investigating the crime and corruption that is running wild in the small beach towns around the Florida Gulf Coast so I will be sailing around the Gulf of Mexico and the Florida Keys and up the East Coast of Florida investigating these Bubbas and all the crimes they are committing theses days which they call business as usual and then I will take some time off and write it all down in a book and make a million dollars on the information I gather. So it should be quite a book. I’ve already set up Gene Luciano and his gang in Naples and he is chasing me all over God’s green earth trying to blow my little blow fish brains out all over the place so he can shut me up. So I have unfinished business with him.

 

Zac Brown: So buddy why would you want to piss this gangster off again by blogging about him and his criminal activity.

 

Blow Fish: Well I hadn’t planned on blogging about his criminal activity but if you think that would piss him off I will certainly have a go at it.

 

Zac Brown: He sounds fairly dangerous to me if he follows you around trying to kill you all the time and chases you all over the United States.

 

Blow Fish: Well I made a deal with him. He said he was going to kill me if I didn’t give him everything I owned including my boat. And I told him he could have my houses and cars and businesses and even my money but he couldn’t have my boat because I can always live on my boat. He insisted he get the boat too and I told him to go fuck himself in the asshole and then he threatened to kill my children if I didn’t leave my boat at the Naples City Dock for him. Well I love my kids so I said I would leave the boat there on one condition.

 

Zac Brown: What an asshole. What was the condition?

 

Blow Fish: Well that’s the funny part. I said I would leave the boat there but he had to take possession of it and sell it for a profit or I was coming back to get it.

 

Zac Brown: That sounds reasonable. So what happened?

 

Blow Fish: It turned out with all the publicity, and the TV crews filming the boat and the reporters calling him up and asking him for a statement regarding his involvement in my disappearance and asking about mine and his friendship that he was afraid to go anywhere near the boat. Then he told the reporters that I was probably dead.

 

Zac Brown: Why did he do that?

 

Blow Fish: Well he is just such a liar. He never tells the truth about anything. So he told them I was probably so drunk I just fell in the water trying to get off the boat and drown. Like I could sail the boat all over Florida and then put it in a boat slip in the marina, tie it up to the pilings and throw out the fenders or bumpers but when I tried to step off the boat I fell in the water and drown myself because I’m such an incompetent drunk or a competent drunk or in his words very good at doing that.  I don’t know if he meant good at drowning myself or being a drunk. But anyway he told everyone including the reporters that I must have drown because I am really good at that.

 

Zac Brown: So he knew the boat was there but couldn’t go down and take possession of it and he lied about where you were.

 

Blow Fish: Yes. He meet the boat at the marina, he made sure there was no one in the marina office to ask me why I was leaving it there. Then he left and I guess tried to come back and take the boat and the marina employees must have stopped him. See he didn’t know that I had kept the boat at the Naples City Dock marina for years and then moved it to Key West and everyone there knew me and liked me and watched my boat for me while I was out of town and if there was any trouble with the boat they would call me where ever I was and I would have someone come and take care of the problem. So Gene Luciano shows up and tries to take my boat that legally is in my name and they wouldn’t let him take it. So when they couldn’t contact me or find me Gene told them I was dead.

 

Zac Brown: Then Gene Luciano stated to the reporters that you were dead?

 

Blow Fish: Yes. He was a wealth of information into my disappearance except everything he said was a lie. He is a terrible liar. He can’t tell the truth and I think he is a kleptomaniac as well as a habitual liar.

 

Zac Brown: That’s terrible. What a horrible disease to be burdened with.

 

Blow Fish: Yes it is. A thief and a bold face liar just makes for a horrible personality.  So I have to go back down there and deal with this terrible person and take my boat away from him.

 

Zac Brown: Wait a minute. I thought you said he never was able to take possession of your boat?

 

Blow Fish: That’s right but he has one of his buddies or possibly a gang member holding my boat for him. It’s this guy in Marco Island that owns Sea Tow. He can’t do anything with the boat either so I have to deal with Gene first and then the guy at Sea Tow because he is obviously a part of the whole crime.

 

Zac Brown: Well I guess you have your work cut out for you there.

 

Blow Fish: Yes I do but the thing is I also have the Bubbas of the Gulf Coast to set up and then there’s a gang of porn producers I have to deal with and then I come back to Atlanta and deal with this big old gangster that is stealing my inheritance and splitting it with Gene Luciano so I do have allot on my plate and on top of all that I have an announcement to make.

 

Zac Brown: What’s that Buddy Roo?

 

Blow Fish:  I am calling this my Tiki Bar Tour and that’s where I need your help and why I asked you to call in.

 

Zac Brown: What can I do to help you out brother?

 

Blow Fish: Well I don’t understand these rednecks because I’m from the big city and I know you’re from the country and I was wondering if you would continue calling in and help me understand what they are talking about when they call in. I can’t even understand what these people are saying much less what they mean and I’m afraid I might get confused and make a fool out myself if I don’t have someone to keep me inline so to speak.

 

Zac Brown: Ok I will give you a hand keeping an ear to The Big Show radio show and see what they are talking about.

 

Blow Fish: I have another favor to ask. Is it ok if I play your music on the blog? I’m featuring Kenny Chesney today to get these Bubbas to listen to the blog and then the next step is to teach them to read so they can read what I’m saying about them on the blog. So today’s featured song is Living In Fast Forward because I have to go down to the Gulf Coast of Florida and live a Hillbilly life style and it has to be in fast forward like a hillbilly rock star so I can set them set up fast and then move on to the next Tiki Bar. It would help to play your music as well and if you could call in and explain the lyrics to this bunch of dumb ass holes I’m sure that would be very entertaining and would help me with the search engines and the popularity of the blog. So is it ok if I feature your music tomorrow?

 

Zac Brown: Sure Buddy Roo if you think it will help your cause go ahead.

 

Blow Fish: Thanks Zac. I knew I could count on you and tomorrow’s featured song will be a Zac Brown hit so you Redneck Bubbas check back each day to see what the featured song is and see what you dumb assholes are up to. And soon I will have a new friend calling in to explain her opinion of the sexual content of each song so check back for that as well. Now her views are usually the opposite of mine so we seldom agree on what message the artist is trying to convey to his fans but she is quite amusing. Now I met this young lady and I use that term loosely in Boca Raton at a Karaoke Bar where I am setting a bar owner who is doing a few things he shouldn’t be doing and she is young and thinks she is hot and is something of a Narc or an undercover lover or just a real asshole because she thinks that she is so important to national security that she says she can’t even ride a roller coaster. She’s just too valuable to her country and she is always trying to setup business men and get them arrested for possession of cocaine. Now I have told her that she would have much more success setting up a drug dealer and offered to introduce her to a few but no she insist on setting up a business man. So we will be hearing from her from time to time to get her opinion on what the featured song’s real meaning is. I call this character The Long Arm of the Law and you will understand why when we do the show in Boca Raton Florida where I met her as I sail around the Florida Coast going from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar setting up friends and lovers and their children and I will be investigating who the Bale Maker is in each town.

 

Zac Brown: The Bale Maker?

 

Blow Fish: Yes that’s a line from a movie with Michael Douglas and that actress that was beautiful but now looks like a man.

 

Zac Brown: A woman that looks like a man?

 

Blow Fish: Yes she looks like a man now and I have an X wife that looks like a man now too and I will be checking up on her and seeing what has caused this drastic change in her appearance. Also the blog has lines from movies inserted in the conversation and if you can identify the exert from the movie that is inserted in the blog then I may not insert the naked picture of your asshole Geno on the internet and that goes for the rest of you too.

 

Zac Brown: What about the Bale Maker?

 

Blow Fish: Good question? Well years ago these drug smugglers would bring the marijuana bales in by boat right up on the beach and load them in a truck and drive away. I call these people the Bale Makers. Then they decided to build Tiki Huts on the beach to use to store the bales. No one thought anything of it back then. Then their customers started coming to the Tiki Hut to pick up their pot and they all were thirsty from loading the bales and so the Bale Maker started serving beer and then it became a Tiki Bar and then mixed drinks and then food. Everyone started showing up including the tourist so they hired someone to play the guitar and sing. That’s how the Tiki Bar got its start. So I am going to sail around Florida and the Florida Keys all the way to the East Coast and find out who the Bale Maker or the owner of the Tiki Bar is in each town and then I will post the finding of my investigation here on the blog.

 

Zac Brown: So the Bale Maker is the drug smuggler and you believe that he is the owner of the Tiki Bar?

 

Blow Fish: Yes I do so I will sail from Tiki Bar to Tiki Bar finding out who the Bale Maker is in each town.

 

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you lying son of a bitch. Don’t try and pin the theft of your boat on me you crazy son of a bitch and don’t you interfere with my drug smuggling operation. I’m warning you!

 

Blow Fish: Geno I didn’t even know my boat was stolen, I thought I fell in the water and drown because that’s what I’m good at doing and the boat was abandoned. Thanks for clearing that up and volunteering the Intel that you are the Bale Maker in Naples Florida. That sure saved me some work.

 

Zac Brown: I think what he’s saying is that he doesn’t want to be involved in the abandonment of your boat. Isn’t that right Geno?

 

Gene Luciano: Who called me Geno? Was it Zac Brown the country music star. I will blow your fucking brains out when I come to kill blow fish so you better watch your fucking mouth or you’re going to be deader than shit too.

 

Zac Brown: I don’t have to put up with this vulgar behavior. Apologize sir or I will file a law suit against you and make you apologize publically for what you’ve said.

 

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish who the fuck does this hillbilly think he is. Tell him he won’t make it past the Naples city limits with his law suit, him and his attorney are going to end up in the Collier county landfill deader than shit.

 

Blow Fish: Zac I think what Geno is trying to say is that he is sorry and he won’t do it again but doesn’t know how to express it clearly by using his words.

 

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch you always crack me up with your bull shit comical comment like the time you told me you were going to rip off Gordon’s head and shit down his throat.

 

Blow Fish: Now Geno that was when Gordon said you were going to kill my children if I didn’t give you everything I own including my boat. Besides this is a fantasy blog that’s just for fun and entertainment and nothing stated here is true, it’s just a for fun blog that’s based on fact, where the names have been changed to protect the innocent, but everyone is guilty as hell. So that never really took place or did it? But I wish you could have seen him start to run out the door when I took a step toward him and I don’t know why he was scared? I mean you had me drugged twice or maybe 3 times if you put drugs in the coffee you gave me to keep me from passing out.

 

Gene Luciano: Ok Blow Fish I will admit that I did have you drugged and I set you up in the Champagne Bar in Naples the weekend after St Patty’s Day and we had you so confused that you thought it was St Patty’s Day.

 

Blow Fish: Geno when you are Irish and St Patty’s Day is in the middle of the week we drink for both weekends and all of the week in between. There was a Leprechaun looking guy standing beside me with green hair you don’t remember him. I think you threatened to kill him if he didn’t leave and told him that I may be deader than shit by the morning if I didn’t cooperate with you. Do you remember him?

 

Gene Luciano: I wasn’t there Blow Fish I was at home telling Julie my number one wife what to text to Gordon who was reading it in the bar and telling you my demands.

 

Blow Fish: I know that but didn’t Gordon mention the Leprechaun standing next to me dressed up in his St Patty’s day costume with green hair?

 

Gene Luciano: Yes I think I remember us having to threaten a leprechaun in order to get him to leave and I believe he was told not to mention what he had seen or heard or he too would be deader than shit and I think he did have green hair.

 

Zac Brown: Does everyone end up deader than shit in this blog?

 

Gene Luciano: Yes they do if they cross me guitar boy.

 

Blow Fish: Well Gene my point is that Leprechaun was an FBI agent sworn to not say a word about what he heard until I give him the sign by blogging about it and now he has his sign and this green haired Leprechaun is going to start talking but he’s not starting with the press this time, he’s starting with your neighbors, and your customers, and your restaurant server and the all the people that you think respect you so much. But those people don’t respect you, they fear you because you’re a dangerous asshole murder. So go ahead and hunt me down and kill me deader than shit but you won’t find me you chicken shit so just sit there and take the insults from the people of Naples that you think respect you so much because they just fear you and that’s not respect and soon you will be too embarrassed to go out in public.

 

Zac Brown: Well my attorney’s will be in touch Mr. Luciano.

 

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish you son of a bitch. I will hunt you down and find you and kill you and everyone with you so you better run and hide and I will see you in Destin FL at your Miramar beach house and deal with you then.

 

Blow Fish: Just watch out for these dangerous Bubbas of the Gulf Coast. They don’t play around with threats like you do. They shoot and ask questions later like who did I just shoot because they are dumber than shit as you would say Geno so watch your step or you’ll be stepping in your own shit as they say.

 

Gene Luciano: I am on my way. I’m bringing Gordon and my son. We will see you soon.

 

Blow Fish: Please tell your wife Julie that I miss seeing her big ole boobs and her rough as hell complexion and I hope you bring her up with you so I can fuck the living shit out of her because I know that you’re not getting the job done.

 

Julie Luciano: Wayne it’s Julie. I just had to call. Gene really isn’t getting it done anymore. I wish I could just stop by and have sex with you. I really loved it when you where living in your house in Old Naples full time where I could stop by and have my way with you anytime I wanted. I will try to come see you in Destin. Thanks for asking about me. Bye!

 

Terri Lynn: Honey who the hell is that whore saying that she wants to have her way with you. I will come down there and open a can of whoop ass on her asshole.

 

Blow Fish: Now sweetie please don’t bother me while I’m working. This is just a bunch of work related activity.

 

Gene Luciano: Blow Fish I’m getting my hand gun with the silencer and I’m getting in the car right now and coming to blow your brains out and then I’m throwing your body off the fishing pier so the sharks can eat your bloody corpse. Apparently Julie is in the car and coming too. So we are on the way!

 

Blow Fish: Good he finally hung up. I thought he was already on his way to Atlanta to kill me which is where I am now. I guess he wasn’t listening. All I have to do is say something about screwing his whore wife Julie and he goes insane and turns into a mad man. That’s how I set him up at Campiello’s in Naples Florida and forced him to set me up.

 

Terri Lynn: Wayne honey my vibrator is at the bottom of the pool and I can’t go in and get wet right now and get it out do you mind if I keep the electric tooth brush until I can retrieve the vibrator?

 

Blow Fish: Sweetie just take the tooth brush and shove it up your ass.

 

Terri Lynn: Thank you honey and I will be over later to thank you for that sum of money that you dropped off earlier today.

 

Blow Fish: I won’t be there I have to go to Destin FL to set up a bunch of stupid Bubbas that just can’t wait for me to start blogging about them. But first I have to stop at the Flora Bama and then Pensacola because there are a few Bubbas there as well. So I will catch you later.

 

Terri Lynn: Well I will be over at Maurice’s house until you return. His house is more convenient to the golf course and you know how I don’t like to drive in the Atlanta traffic. I like being close to work.

 

Blow Fish: Yes I do and say hey to Lauren for me and how is your girlfriend? Are you two still lovers?

 

Terri Lynn: Yes of course, she is still my girl friend and we are still going out once a week only she is getting fat.

 

Blow Fish: Oh my that’s terrible. How did this happen?

 

Terri Lynn: Well you know how her husband is always out of town so she has found comfort in sleeping around with all the Russians that run the bars in downtown Roswell.

 

Blow Fish: Yes I remember how you two were making allot of friends in downtown Roswell and I have warned you about those Russian characters.

 

Terri Lynn: Well you know this one guy was fucking here with a big old dildo and she had put her diaphragm in before they went at it and it ended up so far up in her pussy that it took a doctor to retrieve it.

 

Blow Fish:  The diaphragm or the dildo?  Yes I remember she had to go to the gynecologist to get it removed.

 

Terri Lynn: Well it traumatized her so much that she stopped using her birth control and then she had sex with the Russian bar owners and now she’s pregnant and we aren’t really sure who the father is.

 

Blow Fish: That’s going to be one ugly child. Now I explained to you that the men that you and her have been screwing downtown are not the bar owners. Those are just managers and assistant managers and that position is really not much better than a bus boy. I mean they just stand around and help out the bus boys cleaning off tables and if you clean off tables then you are a bus boy in all reality. The owners aren’t ever there and I’m going to explain that when I get back from chasing these Bubba types all over Florida all the way over to West Palm Beach. I heard they’re making porn over there on boats in broad daylight right under the police nose. It’s like a Girls Gone Wild episode at Cocktail Cove only with real nudity and live sex acts in broad daylight.

 

Teri Lynn: Well that sounds wonderful. I’m sure you will have fun especially if there are naked women having sex. I will tell Lauren you asked about her.

 

Blow Fish: Please do and if you don’t mind I want to post that naked photo of you and Lauren together having sex on the blog just to get come attention drawn to the website because I think it will help the search engines find the blog quicker.

 

Terri Lynn: You mean the one of us in her bedroom? You know she still thinks her boobs are bigger than mine. I wish you would call the plastic surgeon Honey and tell him you don’t like my implants and maybe since you paid for them they might put in some larger implants so my tits will be as big as hers.

 

Blow Fish: Sure sweetie I will give it a try. See you when I get back.

 

Terri Lynn: Ok. If you need me I will be with Maurice but missing you.

 

Zac Brown: Is that your idea of an Atlanta lady. Those women sound terrible. Is she really having sex with her girl friend?

 

Blow Fish: Yes Terri Lynn says she is not happy unless she has a dick in her, so her girlfriend has to strap one on and fuck her to get the job done. Lauren refers to it as humping her. They talk about it right in front of me and show me naked photos of them going at it. The question is who takes the photo. I keep forgetting to ask her that question.

 

Zac Brown: The women I know are nothing like that. Where did you find this girl?

 

Blow Fish: Match.com of course. It’s the most popular of the fuck sites Terri Lynn is on. There are others where she post naked pictures of herself and they just hook up for sex. She has sent me her naked pictures from those sites as well. I will probably post those on the blog too. You’ll get a big kick out of those.

 

Zac Brown: My wife won’t want me looking at those.

 

Blow Fish: I know what you mean.  I almost forgot to call the plastic surgeon. Oh well I will get to that tomorrow when we continue in Atlanta. I have to find out if Geno’s moon shot is actually a gag photo or actually a gay proposal for sex. So check in tomorrow when you will here Gay Scot say…

 

Gay Scot: I would fuck Geno in the ass if he sent me a naked photo of himself.

 

Blow Fish: Check back in tomorrow to see Geno’s naked asshole posted all over the internet unless he can pick out a line from a movie in the blog. But he can’t because he’s just too fucking stupid to read a book or to busy chasing my Blow Fish ass all over God’s green earth to watch a movie. So until tomorrow or until Geno blows my little blow fish brains out all over the windshield of my red SL500.